And we got it from Sierra and they got it from whoever they got the hat from. THIS HAT.
(Plus a friend hat, non-pictured)
You may remember last week we ran a competition to win this World in Conflict-o-garment. All your had to do was to reveal to us a secret which was confided to you. The most amusing, heart-breaking and generally “Oh, God, You soooooo shouldn’t have told us that. They’d kill you if they found out, and in an entirely unmetaphorical way” secret would win. As would the second best, as we had two hats. We were quite overwhelmed by the response. Overwhelmed by how many of you would sell out your friends for a cheap old hat, which is probably polluted by my head-germs. You’re bad people.
That said, the stories were good. Main themes include accidents in masturbation with house-hold fluids, several misadventures in the military of a certain middle-eastern power, improvised hair-pieces, several ironic playful non-secrets, accidentally pooing themselves in front of a minor pop-star and a frankly disturbing use for a Bioshock Big-Daddy Statuette. And many more.
But, after extremely careful and length deliberation lasting almost a whole minute, RPS’ verdict was unanimous.
The winners are Mr Caplan and Mr Dartt, who will both receiving a hat. We hope it lets you sleep at night, Betrayers most Foul and Perfidious.
(Er, I think we need your mailing addresses, guys – Jim.)
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Wait wait wait. You mean the best secrets won’t be published! How will I know if I have to murder one of my so-called friends?
We decided we couldn’t have deaths on our conscience.
Also, we’re mildly worried about being assassinated by various secret services for knowing them. No joke.
KG
WE DEMAND THE RELEASE OF SECRETS.
This is definitely cruelty of the worst kind.
If I send you guys a hat, will you tell me the secrets?
I’ll tell you my secret if you send me more hats.
MORE HATS DAMN YOU!
Damn you RPS people. You’re using your new-found fame for entertaining yourselves! You should be entertaining us!
We’ll make up for it with the next competition prize – it’s a corker.