By John Walker on October 11th, 2007 at 11:42 pm.
So this is weird. Tonight, in a fit of madness and love, I emailed Valve’s over-harrassed PR wunder-human to demand that they immediately begin manufacturing a Weighted Companion Cube plush toy to add to their range. (While over there, I spotted a prototype Hunter plushie, which was all kinds of cute). And then I find they’ve already confirmed it, via the least official means possible.
PC Gamer report that an email from Gabe Newell was posted on Penny Arcade’s forum, assuring him that cuddly cubes will be out before Christmas. Or as I prefer to put it to everyone who loves me, in time for Christmas.
So if a forum post linked via a blog post (for a magazine that appears to have completely THIEVED our guide for getting That Song from your files without crediting us at all – I’d assume they sourced it from elsewhere as is hugely likely, but then I’d not be able to feel self-righteous) is true, hip-hip: hooray!
Now, the question remains, will they be making plush incinerators?
11/10/2007 at 23:56 Kast says:
I… want… one! Scratch that, I want a whole fluffy army of them!
Question is – how big will they be? Big enough to hold in your hand or life size and seat or pillow like?
12/10/2007 at 00:11 Cigol says:
They’ll call it half-life-sized… I reckon they will be quite small but if I was going to buy one I’d want it to be life-size.
12/10/2007 at 01:24 Timbo says:
Me + Weighted Companion Cube = BFF.
12/10/2007 at 07:18 trioptimum says:
Plush incinerator be damned, I want a plush 1500 megawatt Aperture Science heavy duty supercolliding superbutton.
12/10/2007 at 08:03 The unexplained whooping of Gladys McCartney says:
Headcrab + Weighted Companion Cube = private fantasy
12/10/2007 at 08:42 Pentadact says:
In the words of The Spy, oh please. I’ve had a Counter-Strike sound file as my ringtone for as long as you’ve known me. I was decompressing GCF files before you were born! Which was also before I was born or existed in any meaningful sense! Existence is for pansies.
PS. Thanks for the link.
PPS. If anyone’s jonesing for another great song, Ze Frank’s just put out another masterpiece: http://www.zefrank.com/zesblog/archives/2007/10/fer_you.html
12/10/2007 at 09:33 Bobsy says:
No, no, NO! The Weighted Companion Cube should be a minifridge, dammit!
12/10/2007 at 09:35 Watcher95 says:
No,
The cube should be Solid, Square and Cuddly.
12/10/2007 at 09:46 Alec Meer says:
Oh happy day! RPS is currently Google Numero Uno for ‘weighted companion cube’ searches.
12/10/2007 at 09:52 Bobsy says:
If your WCC is cuddly, how will you ever stand on it to reach out-of-reach places? Huh? HUH?
12/10/2007 at 10:12 Betsy Duncan-Smith says:
Oh happy day! RPS is currently Google Numero Uno for ‘weighted companion cube’ searches.
You may as well kick off the weighted companion cube slash fiction topic now. It’s only a matter of time. I’ll start.
I bent over and stroked weighted companion cube. It feels like she sighed a little and relaxed, beckoning me in.
“I want you inside me,” she seemed to say. If only the weighted companion cube could speak I would have done.
12/10/2007 at 10:24 NightShade says:
Is the weighted companion a girl? Obviously the pink suggests it but a game where you play a lesbian? Jack Thompson will be all over them!
12/10/2007 at 10:33 Man Raised By Puffins says:
“Oh happy day! RPS is currently Google Numero Uno for ‘weighted companion cube’ searches.”
Congratulations, you’re also number one for ‘weighted companion cube slash fiction’.
12/10/2007 at 10:35 roBurky says:
The weighted companion cube is an inanimate crate with no sexual organs. But that doesn’t mean it can’t have feelings.
Although it does mean that it can’t speak.
12/10/2007 at 10:37 Watcher95 says:
Bah, it is Solid and it is Square in addition to Cuddly.
Solid + Square = Condusive to standing on it to reach out-of-reach places.
Do the math.
12/10/2007 at 11:45 roBurky says:
I decided one weighted companion cube wasn’t enough:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/54947936@N00/1550523497/
12/10/2007 at 12:06 Pentadact says:
Spoiler: The Companion Cube is definitely male. GLaDOS says “But he couldn’t come because you murdered him.”
12/10/2007 at 13:04 NightShade says:
But he lives! He’s in the credits ^.^
12/10/2007 at 13:46 roBurky says:
There’s also cake in the credits. And as we all know, the cake is a lie.
12/10/2007 at 15:32 Bobsy says:
“The cake is a lie” is a lie.
Also, these are spoilers. Are we allowed to be spoiling?
12/10/2007 at 16:14 Thiefsie says:
Ugh the lack of voice in both Portal and ep 2 is really causing widespread problems.
Luckily Portal was fine for me but EP 2 bugged out but at least by then I knew of the problem, and it was more obvious with alyx just miming to me all the time…
I just found out my mate was up to level 18 in portal and thinking it was dead boring… then I came to see what he was up to and lo and behold GLaDOS wasn’t talking to him, which of course you have no way ever of knowing that unless you’ve seen someone else play it or heard about it. (Or have captioning on)
Thankfully I convinced him to fix it up and start from the start again, however I did have to let on that from level 18 he probably still had an hour to go to finish as he was like nah fuck it I’ll just finish it then go through again, but I begged him to start again to actually realise that the game is pretty crap without GLaDOS (and of course the ending would be not much of a surprise)
This is a pretty widespread bug and a bit of a shame on Valve’s part. I’d hate to know how many people have had portal effectively ruined by it!
Many people will be none the wiser! There isn’t even mention of it on the steampowered tech support (after my admittedly brief look)
shame really
12/10/2007 at 23:47 Nick says:
I want a small weighted companion cube to adorn my desktop (as in: the top of my desk in the Real World) and also a PC case version. Or a “skin” for my gamecube.
13/10/2007 at 03:29 MPK says:
I just want a t-shirt that says (please god let this HTML work) THECAKEISALIE
13/10/2007 at 03:33 MPK says:
Poo.
13/10/2007 at 09:16 wolf says:
I made a wallpaper for the companion cube, grab high res + widescreen versions of it at my deviantart page: http://coldwolf.deviantart.com/art/Portal-love-67101524
13/10/2007 at 21:38 J says:
my cube told me his name is Wilson!
14/10/2007 at 03:58 Selig says:
so where will you be able to buy one?
14/10/2007 at 20:33 sdpenaloza says:
Weighted Companion Cube
14/10/2007 at 20:34 sdpenaloza says:
bah it cut my post….. WCC Cube
14/10/2007 at 20:35 sdpenaloza says:
ok nvm it keeps cutting my post, can’t wait till christmas
15/10/2007 at 08:08 Evildawg says:
1st how did your cube tell you it’s name was wilson and if you guys really wanna know something cool look up “easter eggs for portal” and you will find a cool video where a person figures out how to walk through the end sequence video AND go outside with wcc it is AWESOME!!!! actually i’ll just give you the video (love the song lol ~.^) http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8904794562069714159&q=easter+eggs+for+portal&total=8&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=0
15/10/2007 at 23:14 HelenAngel says:
If any of you are on Second Life, I’m making a weighted companion cube for it right now. XD
16/10/2007 at 01:34 Test Subject #567587665798678968907890790789079089078568678578785789689 says:
W.W.W.C.C.D
We need wrist bands!!!
17/10/2007 at 01:58 Croannick says:
can ne one tell me how the game ends? i cant finish it because i WILL NOT kill my WCC. WILL NOT!!!!!
17/10/2007 at 07:01 Test Subject #567587665798678968907890790789079089078568678578785789689 says:
You get cake!
17/10/2007 at 21:39 hamtax says:
i wonder if a fleshlight will fit inside of one?
17/10/2007 at 21:47 Ging says:
hamtax, that’s genuinely disturbing!
17/10/2007 at 23:37 pcberdwin says:
it should not be plush.. that’s dumb. should be hard plastic.. maybe have the pink lines light up for your desk. yep.
they should also make small hard plastic keychains.. or metal ones
17/10/2007 at 23:40 pcberdwin says:
i’ve also been making wallpapers of WCC
http://berdwin.deviantart.com/gallery/
19/10/2007 at 03:20 Test Subject # Liam says:
OMG W.W.W.C.C.D. WRISTBANDS!!!!
get on it, valve.
20/10/2007 at 07:17 Test Subject #567587665798678968907890790789079089078568678578785789689 says:
http://lovethecube.blogspot.com/
21/10/2007 at 00:40 Bunny says:
I reckon I could make a passable companion cube plushie out of felt… as practice before I try out softer materials…
But I’m more tempted to make a cake of one. It is mine and the Mistah’s anniversary, after all…
21/10/2007 at 22:26 Dan says:
lol, Portal was fun :D love the Cube!!
23/10/2007 at 04:59 tanda33 says:
i have plans to make a W.C.C computer case mod
and i will name the computer GLaDOS
just to be juxtapositioning
23/10/2007 at 18:27 Merlin says:
Screw a plushie.
I want a BIG one that I can open and sleep in damnit all!
And mine’s name is Captain Fuzzles Porkin Bob. ^_^
25/10/2007 at 22:47 Flea Jr says:
Mine was called Crispin, he is my favourite, when you deflect an energy ball with him, he gets singed. a taste of things to come i guess :(
26/10/2007 at 06:07 unnamed says:
whats a companion cube?
28/10/2007 at 02:11 Moto42 says:
Weighted Companion Cube is the most faithful friend you will ever betray.
Your Weighted Companion Cube will gladly stand between you and an oncoming High Energy Pellet (side effects may include vaporization). Weighted Companion Cube will literally elevate you to a higher, place in life.
The only thing it would never do, is threaten to stab you.
29/10/2007 at 11:31 NothingIncorporated says:
weighted companion Cube car dice?
…the cake was a lie :’(
30/10/2007 at 15:26 Moto42 says:
NOOOOOO!!!
I’m gonna make my own, full size, dense-foam core weighted companion cube.
Where the hell am I going to find good foam for this?
30/10/2007 at 15:29 Jim Rossignol says:
http://www.efoam.co.uk/
31/10/2007 at 00:10 Lurkily says:
Would anybody like a WCC animated sig? Take a look at this, for those of you who like the desktop wallpapers. :)
http://i237.photobucket.com/albums/ff9/Lurkily/Temporary%20dross%20and%20crap/CompanionCubeInsanityAnim.gif
And tell me if you like it, here. It’s not a Portal forum, or even any Steam game forum, but it’s where I posted my poll, and right now the people who care have it as 5-3 in favor. Not a resounding endorsement.
05/11/2007 at 11:43 T@T-2-MoNk3y says:
i want this t-shirt from CAD…
“I’ve got a couple of new shirt designs that I’m hoping we’ll have out before Christmas. The first is pretty self explanatory:”
http://www.ctrlaltdel-online.com/images/news/forevercube.jpg
11/11/2007 at 06:04 DuRP says:
The CaKE Is hOLOgrAPHIC… ThATS wHY
25/11/2007 at 01:45 Boz says:
I am a jewelery student and currently learning how to solder sheets of metal together…might take this opportunity to make a WCC belt buckle or a set of WWC/Cake earings ^_^
04/12/2007 at 02:00 BlastR says:
I ate cake.
Very moist one.
06/03/2008 at 13:20 John says:
HI
someone has made a game about the weighted companion cube!! its mental! cant wait for the final game
heres the url :
http://www.the-wcc-game.co.nr/
cool
16/04/2008 at 20:05 Andrew says:
Is there counseling for people who have “euthanised” their WCC?
15/11/2008 at 01:28 Jessica Sideways says:
Are they going to release them for THIS Christmas?
21/12/2008 at 20:28 Crystal says:
And, its released :D