By John Walker on October 19th, 2007 at 1:34 pm.
As you know, RPS is the definitive site to turn to for PC gaming news, previews, reviews, interviews, panoramic views, plaintive mews, church pews and naked nudes. Here’s the coming week’s releases that we very likely haven’t played, with descriptions that I just made up:
Galactic Assault
The harrowing tale of one galaxy’s brutal attack by a gang of rogue planetary systems. You play universal therapist, Simon Constellation, striving to offer recovery and support for the vast victim, as the galaxy goes through all the stages of post-traumatic stress disorder.
The Orange Box
Following on from the success of The Green Triangle, Valve release the much anticipated add-on pack to their best-selling virtual version of that toy babies have where they have to push the shapes through the right shaped holes. With The Orange Box, we have hopes for improvements in the difficulty, which was perhaps a little too simple when there were only triangles and triangle holes.
Tired of Excel? Open Office getting you down? Try this latest installment of the popular spreadsheet skin to make your tedious office work look like the tedious behind-the-scenes management of a foot-to-ball team. With all the different teams’ jersies recreated in vivid 16 colours, and enough buttons and menus to make a child cry and ask for a real game, we’ve no doubt this is the best Football Manager game since the last one. It’s the goal!
While both Theme Park World and Rollercoaster Tycoon both explored the possibilities for creating safe and entertaining rollercoasters, Thrillville finally offers us a management sim that follows up on the consequences of a terrible, deadly coaster disaster. Each stage begins with a violent theme park tragedy, leaving you responsible for deploying the clean-up crew to collect the limbs and mop up the juices, hire and manage lawyers who will attempt to deny liability on the part of your business, and create and run your own advertising campaign to try and bring people back into your poorly maintained deathtrap.
Rail Simulator
Lie as still as you can! One twitch of the mouse, and you could derail that poor old train.
omg Gamesmaster flashback.
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*twitch* Oh bugger it! That’s the 1015 to Southampton derailed again…
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Not enough WCC. :P
In other news, despite the awesomeness of this weeks release (I’d use the plural, but I think we all know which one actually matters) I’ve gone and bought -ahem- the new Zelda DS game. (I know it’s not PC ¬_¬) But I feel I’ve played enough OB thus far to warrant this purchase.
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Who’d have thought a video game chronicalling the life of F. Scott Fitzgerald’s wife would be so well received.
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FM08 sounds great.
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Galactic Assault is actually very good. Have been out over here for a while, reminds me of Battle Isle.
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Rail simulator. That’s awesome.
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More lollage like this please!
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Can the internet take much more lollage from John? It’s the only reason he stopped putting the They’re Backs on his blog y’know…
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I was pretty sure Rollercoaster Tycoon (or at least, its predecessor, Theme Park) *was* a violent rollercoaster derailment simulator.
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No idea about Galactic Assault, but Paradox’s “Tarr Chronicles” is some nice, intense, arcade space shooting. Worth getting.
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For some grave sin in a former life I had to test Champ Man for a month or so. Thankfully I’ve long since got a real job, but the mere mention of its reincarnation (Football Manager) still makes me shiver. Glorified spreadsheet indeed.
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