Crysis Viral: Update

By John Walker on November 13th, 2007 at 4:37 pm.

So something finally happened with that Crysis viral. The sim card that came with the not-so-clever document was stuck in an old mobile, and left. Last night I checked and a text arrived, with an URL and a username and password. And yes, I’m typing through gritted teeth, perfectly aware that writing about it is exactly what they want me to do.

In what is quite possibly the dullest ARG ever, the site contains a couple of folders, in which is some gibberish, and an mp3 which you can listen to here. Though goodness knows why you’d want to. It sounds like Crysis background noise – weeee!

There’s lots of nonsense, all posted below for those who enjoy code cracking. I’m not at all clear what the goal is, so close to release, and so blatantly about Crysis. But they have my home address, and that’s a bit worrying. I prefer my insane advertising stalkers to have a bit more imagination and purpose.

pbzznaq.txt

I. COMMAND. UNIT FALLS UNDER COMMAND OF GEN OFFICE OF DEVELOPMENTAL AND
DIPLOMATIC POLICY. SECURITY CLASSIFICATION TOP SECRET AUTHORITY COMPLETE,
TO EXECUTE ON GROUND WITHIN THEATRE. UNIT COMMAND MAJOR ADCON – FULL
DIRECTION OR EXERCISE OF AUTHORITY OVER SUBORDINATE OR OTHER ORGANIZATIONS
IN RESPECT TO ADMINISTRATION AND SUPPORT, INCLUDING ORGANIZATION OF
SERVICE FORCES, CONTROL OF RESOURCES AND EQUIPMENT, PERSONNEL MANAGEMENT,
UNIT LOGISTICS, INDIVIDUAL AND UNIT TRAINING, READINESS, MOBILIZATION,
DEMOBILIZATION, DISCIPLINE, AND OTHER MATTERS NOT INCLUDED IN THE
OPERATIONAL MISSIONS OF THE SUBORDINATE OR OTHER ORGANIZATIONS. COMMAND
POINTS – ADVANCED BASE: OBJECTIVES SEARCH AND RESCUE TO LOCATE AND EXTRACT
TEAM OF SCIENTISTS FROM ISLAND. THIS IS NOT RECONNAISSANCE IN FORCE.
///REPORT TO BE DESTROYED///
CONFIDENTIAL/VIR:ALPHAFIVE-XOX/JOK/TEAM84DJJS-PAC/OFFICEOFGEN. 1/8

guvFsvYrvf_aBg_vzcbeGnag.txt

OLNVE:UNYB/ZSSQRCYBLRQSEBZP-18NFXLYBEQ.URNILQEBCJVGUZVFFVBA-RFFRAGVNYZNGRE
VNYJVYYORPNYYRQVAOLZNWBEARNEUVAGREYNAQVAPYHQRFNPYHFGREBSFZNYYVFYNAQFGBGURB
SGURRAGELCBVAGNGTCFJVGUVAGURNGREUBFGVYRPNFHNYGVRFNERGBORENQVAGENQNEPYHGGRE
–FVTANYF&FHEIRVYYNAPRUNIRERCBEGRQHAHFHNYYLUVTUVAPVQRAPRFBSPYHGGRE.ERCRNGRQ
GRFGFCEBIRABGRDHVCZRAGSNVYHER.FRRXVATSHEGUREBOFREINGVBABSHAJNAGRQFVTANYF/R
PUBF.PNHFR/FHAXABJANAQABGCERIVBHFYLRKCREVRAPRQVANGURNGREBSJNE(BHGFVQRBSAHP
YRNEGRFGFVGRF).NGGNPXCNGGREAVAGRYYVTRAPRERCBEGFFVTAVSVPNAGABEGUXBERNAZVYVG
NELCERFRAPRBAGURVFYNAQ.GBHFRRYRZRAGBSFHECEVFRNAQERZNVAPBIREGNGNYYGVZRF.VGV
FIVGNYGUNGGURABEGUXBERNAFQBABGXABJGUNGGURGRNZVFBAGURVFYNAQ.QVFGERFFFVTANYP
BAGVAHRFSEBZFPVRAGVFG’FERFRNEPUIRUVPYR–CYBGGRQBAANABFHVGUHQ.ANABFHVGFWFBPE
&QUNIRERYRNFRQGURRKCREVZRAGNYANABFHVGFSBEONFRQBAVAGRYYVTRAPRGUNGUNFABGORRA
QVFPYBFRQGBGUVFBCRENGVBA.NYYJRNCBAFNAQCQNFHOFLFGRZFJVYYEBHGRVAGBGURANABFHV
G,CEBIVQVATCREFBAARYJVGUENQNE,PBZCNFF,NZZBPBHAG,OVB-NAQFHVGRARETLERNQVATFQ
VFCYNLRQQVERPGYLGBIVFBE.ANABFHVGFPNAEREBHGRVGFRARETLGBSBHEQVSSRERAGCBJREFH
OFLFGRZF;NEZBE,FCRRQ,FGERATGUNAQPYBNX.FJVGPUVATORGJRRAFHVGZBQRFPNAORQBARBA
GURSYL.FPNENFFNHYGEVSYRJVYYORVFFHRQJVGUGJBFGNAQNEQNGGNPUZRAGF:FVYRAPRENAQN
FFNHYGFPBCRINCBEVMREFZHFGORHFRQGBINCBEVMRCREFBAARYVSXVYYRQGBCERIRAGABEGUXB
ERNAFTRGGVATNPPRFFGBGURANABFHVGF.NPBHFGVPNYFHEIRVYYNAPRUNFORRAPNEEVRQBHG,N
AQNPBHFGVPJNESNERPBHAGREZRNFHERFJVYYORCEBIVQRQQHEVATVAFREGVBANAQRKGENPGVBA
CUNFRF.QRFVTANGRQRKGENPGVBACBVAGQRGREZVARQOLPNCGRKGENPGVBAJVYYOROLFRNBEOLN
VE.ERPBIRELNPGVINGVBAFVTANYJVYYSBYYBJFGNAQNEQCEBGBPBY.NQZVEVFERFCBAFVOYRSB
EERPBIRELBCRENGVBAF,VAPYHQVATRKGENPGVBANAQGURYBPNGVBA,VQRAGVSVPNGVBANAQERG
HEABSCREFBAARY,FRAFVGVIRRDHVCZRAG,BEVGRZFPEVGVPNYGBANGVBANYFRPHEVGL.FHEIRV
YYNAPRVAQVPNGRFGURERVFNZVAVZHZBCRENGVATEHAJNLFGEVC.ZFCSJVYYORVA-FVGHNAQJVY
YFRPHERGURQVFZBHAGVATNERNGBJNEQFGURBSVFYNAQ

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20 Comments »

  1. twb says:

    Given the blistering excitement provided by this thing so far, the encrypted text is probably a copy of the Army’s FY07-08 funding justification for the HMMWV three-point restraint seatbelt upgrade.

  2. The_B says:

    “Crysis: It has cake at the end.”

  3. Thelps says:

    That MP3 file had me laughing and shooting flecks of bagel all over my desk. Truly terrible voice acting right there. I hope the game itself doesn’t sound like a bunch of third-rate actors competing to see who scream “NOOOOOO!” the loudest and longest…

  4. Electric Dragon says:

    They’ve combined stunning originality and super high security to encude their top secret message in ROT13:

    filename:

    thiSfiLeis_nOt_imporTant.txt

    body text:

    BYAIR:HALO/MFF DEPLOYED FROM C-18A SKYLORD. HEAVY DROP WITH MISSION-ESSENTIAL MATERIAL WILL BE CALLED IN BY MAJOR NEAR HINTERLAND INCLUDES A CLUSTER OF SMALL ISLANDS TO THE OF THE ENTRY POINT AT GPS WITHIN THEATER HOSTILE CASUALTIES ARE TO BE RADINT RADAR CLUTTER SIGNALS & SURVEILLANCE HAVE REPORTED UNUSUALLY HIGH INCIDENCES OF CLUTTER. REPEATED TESTS PROVE NOT EQUIPMENT FAILURE. SEEKING FURTHER OBSERVATION OF UNWANTED SIGNALS/ECHOS. CAUSE/S UNKNOWN AND NOT PREVIOUSLY EXPERIENCED IN A THEATER OF WAR (OUTSIDE OF NUCLEAR TEST SITES). ATTACK PATTERN INTELLIGENCE REPORTS SIGNIFICANT NORTH KOREAN MILITARY PRESENCE ON THE ISLAND. TO USE ELEMENT OF SURPRISE AND REMAIN COVERT AT ALL TIMES. (continues but adding the spaces in is too tedious.)

  5. Electric Dragon says:

    s/encude/encode/

  6. Richard says:

    First thing I tought: “It’s a load of ROT, isn’t i?”

  7. Richard says:

    (With a t instead of an embarassing nothingness)

  8. John Walker says:

    I took this approach to working out which code it was: Oh who gives a shit?

  9. Richard says:

    Clearly not them, hence ROT-13.

  10. Essell says:

    ///PAY DIRECT ATTENTION: GENERIC NONSENSICAL MILITARY TALK IN CAPITAL LETTERS IS COOL. UNIT OPERATION RED WEAPON CONFLICT GLOBAL WAR MACHO COMMUNICATION SPLINTER SUCCEEDED. FOXTROT TANGO PROJECT ORIGIN WANKY BOB MARLEY BINGO OPERATION END.

  11. Kwan says:

    Stop mocking ARGs they clearly give me more insight into the game which you can’t get by actually playing it. One must decode laboriously to enjoy Crysis, y’see.

  12. NotArobot says:

    Huh, that decoded text looks very familiar. Isn’t that pretty much a word-for-word copy of the “classified” documents you recieved in the mail already? Did they post those text files just in case you didn’t bother to read the printed versions? Or maybe they just got lazy.

    I think this is an interesting idea. Just a bit insulting to the recipient’s intelligence, especially if they’ve already played the Beta, or the open demo. This stuff is basically just repeating the setup that we already saw by playing it.

    It’d have been nice if this stuff was revealing a bit more to the story. You know, like, something you might not learn from playing it. Backstory, etc. Like they did for Portal at http://www.aperturelaboratories.com.

    NAr

  13. Garth says:

    Hahahhaha, the voice acting in that MP3 is CLASSIC. “Nuuuuuuuuuuu!”

    hahahahahaha

  14. Seth Tipps says:

    And all they have to do is buy a ranger handbook off amazon for all of 7.99 US. The entire Operations order format is in there, which would have seriously made this thing a bit less stereotypical, and probably could have provided some inspiration as well. Combine that laughably fake document with the voice acting, and you have one lazy marketing department. One that I am, however, quite grateful to for providing me with a good laugh.

  15. Chris R says:

    I hate to say it… but the ARG for Halo3, Iris, was a lot more interesting to read and follow:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iris_%28game%29

    I’m not a Halo 3 fan at all, and I still found the ARG for it very cool and well planned.

    This “ARG” for Crysis is just so lame… they could have done a lot more if they tried a little harder.

  16. Sudden Device says:

    The quick answer for you, should you not want to follow the poorly planned trail they have created:
    DRINK MORE OVALTINE!

  17. The_B says:

    “I took this approach to working out which code it was: Oh who gives a shit?”

    I felt the same way, and came up with:

    “Someone else on the internet.”

    As long as someone else does all the hard work, that’ll do me.

  18. Brant says:

    Noooooo!

  19. Pyroflame says:

    The cake is a lie.

    :(