Games For 2008: Peggle Nights

By John Walker on January 28th, 2008 at 10:50 am.

“Write about Peggle Nights,” the Mighty Sentient RPS Computer told me. “But there’s no information about it whatsoever,” I meekly protested. There was a brief whirring. “WRITE ABOUT IT OR I WILL RE-APPLY THE NODES.”

World exclusive first screenshot!

Peggle Nights, eh? How exciting is that?! It’s Peggle, but at night!

Oh please help.

All that’s known is the name, thanks to a mention in the Christmas ish of PC Gamer US. Described as being… Hey, wait a second! I never noticed that insult from Kieron before. Man! Yeah well Kieron, you… you smell of wee wee. And your mum cuts your hair. YOUR PUBIC HAIR.

Simon GameSetWatch speculated that the name might infer a similarity to that greatest of television spin-offs, Baywatch Nights. But that’s only one of many possibilities…

Peggle Baywatch Nights

Tired of bouncing around the buxom balls of the regular Peggle, our heroic ball takes it upon himself to begin investigating crimes, while bouncing around the buxom balls of the regular Peggle, AT NIGHT. Will he protect the buxom lady from the mean old crime lord through a combination of bouncing off pegs and bouncing off some other pegs? Yes, very probably.

Peggle Boogie Nights

Young Eddie Ball was a very “special” guy. Young and naive, his unique talents were spotted by the cigar-chomping, hairy-chested owner of PopCap, keen to exploit him for financial gain. Lured in by a world of free drugs, and more naked pegs than he could ever bounce off, Eddie soon becomes embroiled in the seedy world, unsure of himself, his identity, and how to cope as his life spirals out of control. And he has a really big cock.

Please note I didn't use one of the more popular shots of Heather Graham's boobies.

Peggle Six Days And Seven Nights

With the Ghostbusters game capturing everyone’s imagination, PopCap snap up the rights to another of Ivan Reitman’s films, the often forgotten Harrison Ford vehicle. Bounce your way around a series of brand new levels themed around the romantic comedy escapades of a week trapped on a South Seas island.

Le Peggle Notti Bianche

Marcello Mastroianni and Maria Schell reprise their roles (despite their deaths), recreating one of Lushino Visconti’s most incorrectly dismissed films. Telling the Dostoyevsky tale through the medium of eliminating coloured pegs, it will provide the link between Popcap’s early neorealist manner and the obsessive stylisation of their forthcoming games.

I have real work I should be doing, you know.

Peggle Arabian Nights

This is what it’s going to be, isn’t it?

Peggle A Midsummer Night’s Dream

This is what it should be.

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17 Comments »

  1. Nick says:

    Hell yes to the last one.. it would even have the bonus of Peggle sounding like one of the fairy names.

  2. Kast says:

    I bet Puck, Oberon and Titania would have some awesome special powers. Particular Puck – he’s the best damn fairy I ever saw.

  3. Chris Evans says:

    Well I *should* be getting a Review copy of this game before it is released and doing a detailed Review of it for 411 Games.

    I personally can’t wait to see what PopCap have done with Peggle…I am sure it is great :D

  4. Meat Circus says:

    I reckon it’ll be like post-watershed Hollyoaks. The same, only with more tits’n'drugs. Winner.

    Peggle, only Darker and Edgier(tm). With an angst-ridden death metal rawk soundtrack.

    So, Prince of Persia: Warrior Within then.

  5. Kast says:

    PoP:WW has a unicorn?

  6. Phil says:

    Is this Peggle imperial, metric or to be measured to a standard as yet undreamt of?

    Also, I think Kafka Peggle could be a winner – the cogitative dissonance of joyful puzzle goodness and angst ridden absurdist despair would be like organising a carnival at your local job centre.

  7. GibletHead2000 says:

    “Peggle Knights”, anyone?

  8. James T says:

    Kafka Peggle does sound great. Josef K has the power to suspend the ball in an endless and circuitous bureaucratic limbo, where the dread of its certain fate is exacerbated by the unknown, apparently nonexistent reasoning behind its capture.
    Gregor Samsa transforms the ball into an insect, able only to shuffle feebly within the confines of the Peggle stage until the sheer disgust of its family causes it to die of grief.

    Well, they’re better powers than that flower one!

  9. Piratepete says:

    I presume that this would be known as the nPeggle or near infinite peggle. Of course that means it would too large to install on any hard drive.

    However an important mathematical concept and a lot of fun to boot

  10. Cian says:

    How is it the heathen John Walker is the one chosen to write of a sequel to the glorious Peggle?

  11. John Walker says:

    Bookworm Adventures.

  12. The_B says:

    Peggle Knight Rider, anyone??

  13. Alex Grose says:

    This is article number 1000!

    Had anyone else noticed? It sits there in the address bar subtly advertising the fact.

    http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/?p=1000

    Ha!

  14. 490823 says:

    what does reapply the nodes meen

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