Viacom Om Nom Nom

By John Walker on February 7th, 2008 at 7:53 pm.

Could Viacom be about to buy Take Two?

Why not? They already own MTV, Nickelodeon, Paramount, Dreamworks, most of the radio in America, Comedy Central, your mum and dad, and 57% of the planet’s oxygen. The question is, when they eventually own everything ever, will it have any meaning any more, or will we be back to the beginning again?

Quick! Throw the hot coffee!

According to MCV, rumours are “building” that they might be about to launch one of those takeover bids, that frankly frighten me. You can just buy things that weren’t expecting it? Eek! What if someone tries to buy me?

“MCV understands that Viacom has made an offer of £23 a share for the games company behind blockbusters such as Grand Theft Auto and Bioshock. Last night Take Two shares were trading at just under $16, but mid-term ratings have been increasing for the stock since it was confirmed that GTA IV would be released at the end of April.”

The two companies are already linked, with Take Two having made games for Viacom’s gaming division, and games of swapsies with their management staff. So why not?

In light of the news of Microsoft trying to gobble up Yahoo!, Rock, Paper, Shotgun would like to officially announce its plans for a hostile takeover of a baked potato with cheese and tuna, in a deal which industry insiders are describing as, “dinner”. The resulting company is proposing to offer shareholders a full tummy, and probably a cup of coffee.

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19 Comments »

  1. Greger says:

    They own my mum and dad?! JESUS TITTYFUCKING!

  2. Joe says:

    I will bet my parents this doesn’t happen.
    Also:
    “Viacom has made an offer of £23 a share for the games company behind blockbusters such as Grand Theft Auto and Bioshock. Last night Take Two shares were trading at just under $16″
    that’s quite expensive.

  3. yxxxx says:

    It wont belong till we have a corporation war.

  4. Nick says:

    I’m currently in negotiations to purchase half of John Walker.

  5. Zeno, Internetographer says:

    I hope we start having corporation wars, then we can dress up all cyberpunk.

  6. Emil says:

    “What if someone tries to buy me?”
    I’d buy that (you) for a dollar. A bit overpriced frankly, but the inflation is pretty bad now.

  7. Brent says:

    They also own Gametrailers – bought us 2 years ago.

  8. Ben Hazell says:

    @ Zeno & yxxxx
    Yeah. I’m pretty sure Putin just legalised private armies for the gas billionaires, and Viacom are looking to merge with Blackwater. Corp wars!
    I’m totally gonna go buy some mirror shades in the morning.

  9. John Walker says:

    Hmmm, “Thanks, Viacom,” just doesn’t sound the same.

    So I’ll carry on being mean about them until they offer to buy us, then I’ll sell out like the vile little whore I dream of being.

  10. James says:

    Real World Syndicate, go.

  11. Leeks! says:

    RPS headlines are always clever, but, for whatever reason, this one is the first to make me laugh out loud.

  12. Meat Circus says:

    I’m currently inserting a poison pill into John Walker to make him an unattractive target.

  13. ryan in exile says:

    don’t forget they own gametrailers

  14. dragonman says:

    Viacom owns Xfire and Gametrailers and now MTV Games which published the Rock Band title by Harmonix.

    and you guys think they wont buy Take Two? Viacom is jumping deep into the video game world with both feet and will most likely turn video gamers into sweet 16 yearolds and reality tv contestants.

  15. DigitalSignalX says:

    Attack of the show on G4 tech TV is pooling cash to buy yahoo too. So far 41 bucks.

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