Today Is Bad Trailer Day

By Alec Meer on February 15th, 2008 at 10:33 am.

And now, Far Cry: The Movie.

Is that your gun, Gametrailers?

Y’know, a film about shooting men on an island really shouldn’t be that challenging to get right.

, .

47 Comments »

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  1. Feet says:

    I won’t lie to you. That looks awesome. Though I did watch it with the sound muted so maybe it sounds rediculous.

  2. Meat Circus says:

    Uwe Bollocks. It’s symptomatic of the death of narrative cinema.

    Somebody please drown this man in a well for the good of sentient life everywhere.

  3. Schadenfreude says:

    Since Ace Ventura’s “Your gun is sticking into my hip” moment all gun/knob gags should be off limits.

    At least there doesn’t appear to be any Trigens. They probably show up in the final act (This being a Uwe Boll film that’ll be Act 2 then).

  4. drunkymonkey says:

    “Is that your gun?”

    Yes, thank you, Hollywood.

    Although, to be honest, this is good by the standard of other Uwe Boll travesties.

  5. John Walker says:

    Major Scully (nee Garland Briggs), what has become of you?

  6. Tom Armitage says:

    Where does Boll keep getting his money from? I mean, it looks bad, but it doesn’t look no budget. And where do they get these actors? Til Schweiger?

  7. Irish Al says:

    I thought that looked alright. I’ll get me coat.

  8. John P (Katsumoto) says:

    Ok here’s a question I often ask when I’m with my mates but Haven’t asked online before – why do they always pick the LEAST appropriate games to convert to films? Prime example: Dungeon Siege. I loved it (the game that is!), but it has NO PLOT. Why pick a game with NO PLOT? It wasn’t even commercially that succesful was it, so I don’t understand even from that perspective. Far Cry again… brilliant game – but Jack Carver?! Trigens? NO PLOT! Doom? NO PLOT (although I loved that one as I quite fancy Karl Urban).

    THere are so many games out there with such intricate and well crafted plots… why don’t they make a film out of one of them (I did hear a rumour of a Deus Ex film years ago – Christian Bale as JC? ;)? How about a Planescape Torment film lewl. Or a Fallout film, that would do well surely. Maybe. There’s already a film of Stalker! Sort of.

  9. Mike says:

    That really doesn’t look so good… And who the hell is Til Schweiger?!

  10. Kast says:

    put it this way – at least the plot can’t be as bad as the game’s.

    Also – Don S. Davis improves anything by 10%

  11. go says:

    Mike: Till Schweiger is one of the most (if not the most) popular actor and a real celebrity in Germany. He had only minor roles in some Hollywood flicks, though (Tomb Raider, Replacement Killers), casted as the generic german bad guy.

  12. Jives says:

    YOUR MAKING BRAINLESS MONSTERS!

    that did look quite good though, random karate poses will make a movie

  13. Naseer says:

    But… they gave the twist away in the first second…

  14. James says:

    John P:

    I’ve had the same thought often myself. For sollace, I comfort myself with the fact that a movie based on Planescape or Fallout would almost certainly be horribly butchered by someone handing them to – God forbid – some Uwe Boll-alike. I’m actually happy that people are keeping far away from my favourite story-based games.

    As for the trailer, it looked all right visually, but I wonder if I could survive that dialogue for too long. And yes, I wish that ‘gun=genitalia, lol’ jokes would go exctint now, though perhaps that is too much to hope.

  15. Gregory says:

    Okay, I didn’t see a single shot of the hero face down in a dense thicket a mile away from a camp, and all the guards of that camp wandering over to him and gunning him down after hearing him sneeze.

    Gotta be true to your source material.

  16. Tom Armitage says:

    Also, I can’t believe the screwed up the kerning on the logo.

  17. Jachap says:

    It genuinely looks like the sort of film you occasionally find on Youtube made by some guys poncing about with guns in their shed.

    Its not even a tropical fucking island.

  18. The_B says:

    Yeah, I agree this looks alright. But indeed – it’s not really as if Boll’s got much to ruin – Far Cry didn’t exactly have the Portal writing team behind it, did it?

    I mean, they’re just missing Eva Mendez in a waterfall shower scene and they’ve got it.

  19. Nallen says:

    Looks okay, but the graphics aren’t as good as Crysis.

  20. 'Beat' Nick says:

    What a wonderful trailer! A guy with all the film star credentials of a big stick of butter, paired up with Wayne Knight’s idiot son and a woman who is almost Jessica Alba versus EVERYONE FROM THE 1980s! And where the hell did they film it? British Columbia?

    Tom Armitage makes a good point – when they even manage to make a logo they’ve lifted straight from the game look rubbish, you know you’re onto a winner. TEN STARS!

  21. Yhancik says:

    It’s missing the big voice talking over the trailer :o

    “it was supposed to be a simple mission…”

  22. Janto says:

    It looks generic. And surely a Far Cry film shouldn’t LOOK generic. Be generic, sure, what have you, but why scrap the lovely location for ten miles outside Vancouver? ($$$ me thinks) Nonsense.

  23. Jonty says:

    Weirdest thing for me is that it suddenly drops in the theme music from The Usual Suspects. Is that a Boll in-joke?

  24. Ryan says:

    And who the hell is Til Schweiger?!

    Til Schweiger IS Jack Carver.

  25. The_B says:

    Weirdest thing for me is that it suddenly drops in the theme music from The Usual Suspects. Is that a Boll in-joke?

    I thought everything he’s ever produced in his career was the injoke…

  26. AK says:

    I love – LOVE – that they’ve made a film based on a game about a glorious tropical island, and not set it on a glorious tropical island because they couldn’t afford it.

  27. yxxxx says:

    That does actually look ok.

    A mindless action film.

    Then again i did actually like the doom film so what do i know.

  28. Max says:

    YOU’RE MAKING BRAINLESS MONSTERS FILMS

  29. Dracko says:

    I love you, Uwe! Hatas be damned! ;_;

  30. David says:

    Amazing. It’s almost as well written as the source material!

  31. Mattress says:

    If they had some WWF wrestler or something instead of Til Schweiger, I would get behind this movie like Snakes on a Plane!

  32. RobotLiberationArmy says:

    I’ve always taken Far Cry is a very dry satire of terrible action movies. This is rather much ironic.

    Also, the creepy sort of snicker he makes after the “is that your gun” line makes me want to hide the children.

  33. Muzman says:

    Old Boll-weevil does appear to be improving though. Before we had was some sort of student zombie horror things with terrible continuity and staging. Now he’s getting up to the level of some 80s US army porn/ Canon films/ Chuck Norris MIA/Universal Soldier sort of standard.
    By the end of the decade he might even be a competent director. Then his place in the record books won’t be for most edits in five minutes, but for the most expensive film making education ever. Something to be truly proud of.

  34. Rogue says:

    I don’t remember kung-fu in Far Cry. ¬_¬

  35. Dan says:

    It’s the tall German from Gladiator :O

    Funny how the establishing shot was of a tropical island, while the rest was generic North American woodland.

  36. grey_painter says:

    I’ve not played far cry outside of the demo. But it struck me that apart from a glimpse of red Hawaiian shirt that looked nothing like far cry. At least nothing how I imagined far cry.

  37. Masked Dave says:

    People seem to miss the point, there was no way a Far Cry film would ever be good and ever be anything over than this.

    Uwe Boll isn’t trying to make good films, he’s trying to make money, and he seems to have found a way to do it. So more power to him. The only way to make him go away is to ignore him and his product.

  38. Garth says:

    I’m not sure he COULD make this true to source material – would you watch a movie where a guard watched his buddy get shot, looked around for a bit, and then went back to his post?

  39. Selkcip says:

    Aaagh! That looks horrible.

  40. Iain says:

    The thing is, knowing Uwe Boll, it probably is his gun…

    And Grüß Gott, that’s Udo Kier as Dr Krieger. I remember when he used to act. (And when all this was fields, etc, etc)

  41. Seth Tipps says:

    You know, this could have been shot Blair Witch Project style and it would have gotten a bit of interest from me. But no, they had to turn it into an 80’s shoot ‘em up. Oh well. It’s not like the people who made the movie played the game, so what can we expect?

  42. Chris R says:

    LOL, the clip and these everyone in these comments have me laughing right now. Fun times!

  43. Bobsy says:

    “Doctor, I assume you’ve got something interesting to show me.”

    “Bet your life?”

  44. Max says:

    I watched it again, this time got as far as the shot of the pine trees on the island before I started laughing. Pine trees, I tell you.

    Also, anyone else agree that it seems to be based on FarCry Instincts, not FarCry? What with the bio-soldiers (not trigens) and the boat being blown up just as Jack dives out of it…? I preferred Instincts to be honest. FarCry was just a techdemo for DX9.

  45. James T says:

    Actually, that looks Commando-tastic. One for Bittorrent, perhaps! (what, you didn’t think I was going to financially support Uwe Boll, did you?)

  46. Zephyrtron says:

    Well, whether it’ll be good or not is besides the point.
    What I want to know is why Uwe seems to have ditched *the* source material early on – 80% of that trailer has Jack Carver *not* wearing his fantastic shirt!
    The shirt *is* Far Cry!

  47. vic says:

    How can it be Farcry without a hawaiian shirt in sight?