Gnarly Crenelations, Dude.

By Kieron Gillen on March 5th, 2008 at 8:04 pm.

EXTREME!

In the tradition of publishers following on from stuff RPS does, following the Stronghold making of we published a few weeks back, Gamecock have announced they’ll be publishing an improved version of the Stronghold Crusader in May, going by the unbelievable name Stronghold Crusader: EXTREME. This will allow you to lob around over 10,000 (Count ‘em!) units, adds a tactical bar for firing “Super Moves” (Which I’m not entirely sure is historically accurate, at least if you discount tales of Richard the Lionheart’s Dragon Punch) and an Extreme Trail mode, linking hyperdifficult expert-only challenge missions.

While I suspect we’ll be mocking the “EXTREME” subtitle for a while yet, the screenshot I’ve lobbed beneath the cut, (along with a more sober making-of video) does kind of live up to it as much as any game about fortification construction could.

EXTREME!

It’s the sort of grab you stare at and presume you’re really drunk, because the only possible explanation of seeing that many soldiers running about is you’re boozed out of your tiny little mind.


Thanks, Gametrailers. Your presence is soothing after screenshots of millions of men.

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19 Comments »

  1. Larington says:

    Ahh yes, the ‘Extreme’ tag, if ever there was an excuse for marketing types being “the first up against the wall when the war comes” – This is it.

    ;-)

    I concur on the “Have I been drinking?” thing, that looks INSANE.

  2. James T says:

    I don’t think my developed gaming palate could handle such vulgarity. Notify us when Stronghold Crusader: MILD is out, please.

    edit: Hah, ‘Powerhouse’, neat!

  3. ImperialCreed says:

    Anything right now would be better than Stronghold Legends.

  4. Acosta says:

    EXXTREEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEE

    *ehem* Never played Stronghold, maybe it could be a good chance.

  5. Okami says:

    Larington, you get 10 points for quoting The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and loose 11 for quoting it wron.

    It’s “first against the wall when the revolution comes”. Trust me, I just looked it up.

    Anyway: The world would be a better place, if everybody would just quote Douglas Adams more often.

  6. Citizen Parker says:

    The only thing I’ve ever seen approach that screenshot was in Syndicate when I’d use the Persuadertron to create my own Persuadermob meatshield strike force.

    We need more controlling-massive-crowd games, EXTREME or not.

  7. sh33333p says:

    The real question we should be asking, when presented with a screenshot like that, is “where’s Waldo?”

  8. Beene says:

    I think you have to Drink Mountain Dew and go down gnarly Mountain Bike trails while playing this game.

  9. Al says:

    I used to work for a paper coating manufacturer. Whilst I was with them, they released a new product in a particular line. The previous ones were called [product name entirely forgotten] followed by a number. The new one was christened [product name entirely forgotten] Xtreme.

    Which is, you will agree, worse than plain old “Extrme”.

    Especially seeing as this was a china clay paper coating. Nothing “Xtreme” about it at all. It makes paper white and glossy. That’s all.

    I hate marketing departments.

  10. Stromko says:

    Forget what Stalin told you, quantity is not quality. At least, if my experience playing Stronghold, Stronghold Crusader, and Stronghold 2 is any indicator here.

    I have never thought, “Gee, this’d be better if the AI was just as stupid but they sent tens of thousands of units at me.”

    Dwarf Fortress has really spoiled me when it comes to building castles and settlements. I want to actually give a damn when one of my citizens die now. The idea of cramming 3,000 bowmen onto my battlements instead of 300 is hardly transformative.

    I know Stronghold ain’t that kind of game, but I think there comes a time when a game design becomes so dated you’ve just got to hold that against it.

  11. Larington says:

    Well, on QI -1 isn’t a bad score… Usually.

    Speaking of which, its just occured to me that no ones really done a game that is sorta about hitch hiking (IE in space)… of course you can almost gaurauntee that some daft newspaper will try to claim the game glamourises hitch hiking which is supposed to be bad, or something.

  12. ryan in exile says:

    Where’s waldo?

  13. drunkymonkey says:

    My eyes burn at that screenshot. It just looks…well, not very nice and organized.

  14. Andrew says:

    When I first heard of this ‘update’ about a month back, I just laughed. Especially when I saw the travesties that were the screenshots of it.

    It’s insane. And surely won’t be fun. Massive numbers of troops just weren’t handled well in Stronghold.

  15. terry says:

    That video reminds me of what would happen if you repeatedly hit the cheat button in Simant.

    It was no fun there either (albeit with more laser-firing spiders with one liner quips)

  16. Jives says:

    The mans face on the cover is bearing the greatest expression ever. ever.

  17. Junior says:

    Yeah, I can’t really see this game working, the pathfinding and Ai were awful before they added “-x10 men” to the command line. It’s also a little sad to see just HOW terrible the pathfinding is in the promo video, especially with that poor chap trying to make a really long cue look extreem.

    I really wish this series did better combat, the resource and building side of gameplay is great and setting up labyrinthine defences will never get old while you have spike pits, battle dogs AND pitch.

  18. Jonathan says:

    reply to Jives
    “For ever ever? for ever ever? ever ever?
    Ever ever? ever ever? ever ever? ever ever?
    something something
    We want prenups!”

    I have to say it looks like it would be quite interesting to watch ai players fight. Thousands of arrows meeting tens of thousands of wee men is just naturally good.But there’d just be too much micro managing for a puny flesh mind.

    Ai fights are one thing I’m always surprised to see left out in strategy games. Am I wierd for wanting to see the computer fight itself? Sometimes I just want to focus on swooping the camera and pretending to be Damien from Drop the Dead Donkey or just listen to some music while I want the body count rise. Especially with Dawn of War or Company of Heroes with their great camera and reckless comic book violence.

  19. gnarly says:

    Haven’t gotten to play this game yet, seems gnarly.