Postal Movie Date Announced, Denounced

By John Walker on March 11th, 2008 at 12:06 pm.

It takes a lot to offend RPS. You say you slept with our mothers, we’ll suggest you visit the STD clinic. So it’s unlikely you’ll see any of us standing outside cinemas at the release of Uwe Boll’s Postal this 23rd May, waving placards campaigning against whatever crap the new millennium’s Ed Wood has cooked up. Where you can offend us is by being rubbish. Based on these criteria, it’s safe to say Boll has upset us on numerous occasions.

Dave Foley! WHY?!

So it’s surprising that Postal devs, Running With Scissors (be warned: NSFW), are enthusiastic about the Postal movie. Well, surprising until you realise that RWS’ CEO, Vince Desi, stars in the film. Desi and Boll comment below.

Vince Desi exclaims enthusiastically,

“Frankly, we’re ecstatic that a release date has been set, and to have Universal behind it is all the sweeter. We’ve been working overtime developing POSTAL III for PC and console and our fans have been waiting to see this movie for a long time now.”

The film is being released in the US on the same day as the new Indiana Jones film. As if it wasn’t going to bomb hideously without one of the biggest cinematic releases of all time up against it. Boll engages in his trademark modesty and restraint.

“We will go out and destroy Indiana Jones at the box office!”

Dear Uwe,

No you won’t.

Love,
RPS

Just in case you aren’t sure, here’s a clip from the film. (Serious warning: if you are likely to be offended by ‘jokes’ based on the events of 9/11, give this one a miss – it’s astonishingly foul).

, , , .

31 Comments »

Sponsored links by Taboola
  1. Alex says:

    “the tragic fall of dave foley”

    Word.

  2. brog says:

    love it.

  3. Lucky says:

    *blinks* I thought it was released ages ago.

  4. Tunips says:

    That was actually pretty funny.
    Huh. Who would have thought.

  5. Hugh says:

    How are your boxing skills? You may need them!

  6. Willem says:

    Ugh.

  7. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    11/9 jokes are old hat, surely?

  8. devlocke says:

    When this first got shown a few months ago, I think most of the reviews were actually positive, in a begrudging sort of way. Outside of Wired’s Chris Kohler, everyone I read said something along the lines of “This is tasteless, offensive, and stupid, but we regret to inform you that it was also hilarious.”

    I want to say it was Stanley Kubrick who said that it was easier to make a great movie out of a crappy novel than a great one… maybe the same applies to games?

  9. Hugh says:

    Just watched it – that was hilarious! Now if he can only be persuaded to just make short films…!

  10. Nick says:

    Yeah, the dialogue was actually pretty good.. I might illegally download this.

    ¬_¬

  11. Tak says:

    Arrr, there be pirates! Draw the long nines to port, hold ‘er on me order, arrr!

    :D

    I…really hope this isn’t good. Honestly, I want it to cross whatever tax-shelter-The Producers-style-level of income is needed under the freedom-to-make-shitty-movies-under-German-tax-shelter laws in order for this Uwe Boll as a whole to be reduced to flipping burgers.

    There was an interview a while back where he basically said ‘It’s ok if my movies suck, there are laws on my side!’

  12. mandaya says:

    I rented this on video a few days ago (yes, I was surprised as well) and I have to say: The hopes – no doubt fueled by the mixed reactions of the (gaming) press- that this movie could be funny in an anarchist kind of way are completely unfounded. To be honest: It is total and utter crap and you should consider spending your time on something a bit more rewarding. Like, watching your fingernails grow, or stuff.
    Actually the movie managed to piss me off not for being “anarchic” or “chaotic” (those are good things, in my book), but for it obviously being made by a stupid, rambling, but nevertheless boring megalomaniac who seems to be thinking that people’s criticizism of his work only proves some obscure point. and it shows.
    conclusion: this film is so bad that it’s actually bad. and I don’t care if it’s based on a computer game. it’s bad. and sadly, no, inviting your B-movie-posse, drinking eight cans of beer and lighting up the bong won’t make this movie enjoyable either. now THAT’s depressing.

  13. Catch.153 says:

    I can’t believe Boll is doing a FarCry movie. With the developers cooking up a great looking sequel, it’s baffling why they would want to associate the game with Boll.

  14. Iain says:

    I think comparing Uwe Boll to Ed Wood is a little unkind. To Ed Wood…

  15. CdrJameson says:

    Good to see Uwe teaming up with Spinglo Spongo there.

  16. cHeal says:

    Well I thought that was pretty damn funny. mildly looking forward to this now :)

  17. Alex says:

    I can’t believe Boll is doing a FarCry movie. With the developers cooking up a great looking sequel, it’s baffling why they would want to associate the game with Boll.

    The developers working on Far Cry 2 aren’t the same ones who made the first one, are they? The original Far Cry developers made Crysis instead, if I remember correctly.

    The developers probably have no say in what happens with the IP, anyway.

  18. John Walker says:

    I’m not weeping at people finding it funny to suggest the innocent victims on the plane were responsible for the deaths of 3000 people. I’m weeping that the banal conversation about how many virgins is good enough for people to laugh at : (

  19. Nick says:

    I don’t think anyone finds the actual events funny, this is hardly claiming to be an historic version of what happened.

    Maybe it’s just suprise at the dialogue not being absolute drivel like the other films.

  20. Nallen says:

    I don’t get that company you linked to at all, I thought Postal was some crappy, ancient FPS game and yet the web site looks like one of those pay-per-view web cam sites.

    Or at least what I’d imagine they’d look like.

    Ahem.

  21. Tak says:

    Nah, the disclaimer at the bottom would mention ‘at or above age 18 at the time’ or something.

    I mean, if there was a disclaimer. On those sites which we clearly don’t visit.

    ¬_¬ (totally stole that smiley. It’s hawt)

  22. Skittles the Pirate says:

    Though the clip was funny, it seems that Boll is surviving on the gigatons of pure hatred that are being poured on him. Even though he’s a hack when it comes to movies, the advertising revenue of his enterprises must be keeping him afloat. And the more attention he gets with his awful movies, the more he prospers. I may be wrong, but it seems that the more we ignore him, the better.

  23. Leeks! says:

    I read the Wired review of the movie, and that fellow seemed to think that intro sequence was about as good as it got. Which is too bad, because I thought it hit the right SA-esque balance between offensiveness and well-paced humour.

    Also, I think it’s an insult to poor Ed Wood to compare Uwe to him. While they’re both certainly the best-known worst filmmakers of their times, Wood made bad films out of misplaced enthusiasm, whereas Boll makes them out of abject stupidity. Put another way: Ed Wood really, really loved movies–to the point where he would use everything, and not really pay any attention to its quality. This ethos is in direct opposition to Boll’s, who I suspect actually hates movies.

  24. FngKestrel says:

    It’s a shame that those two actors are only in that one scene, because it looked like they could actually deliver their lines.

  25. Benjamin Barker says:

    Not horrible; it gave me a smirk.

    Missed an opportunity to add another layer of tastelessness by not intercutting with the cockpit-stormers, being brave and tearful and saying “Let’s roll!” at just the wrong moment. Funnier? Might have undercut the banality of the highjackers’ debate too. Then… the cockpit-stormers could end in up in paradise receiving the virgin ministrations!

    Wow. I’m very, very sorry.

  26. Dracko says:

    I love you, Uwe!

  27. Bill says:

    Anybody else who read the title of the post as PORTAL Movie please put your hand up.

  28. w1lp33 says:

    i gotta be honest. if this scene were in any other context, about any other event, all the critics here would be howling with laughter. but becuase its about the sacred 9/11, you have to get your panties in a bunch. im loathe to credit uwe boll as much as anyone, but that was acutally pretty good.

    excelt the idea of “window washer just finishing the job and then turning to see the plane” is actually ripped right off of Family Guy. like, exactly. check out the epiosde where james woods returns, and peter sets out to destroy his career.

    and the conversation about virgins? absolutely fantastic skewering of the ridiculousness of religious faith. thats what happens when you have belief without evidence…

  29. malkav11 says:

    This is the only Uwe Boll movie I’ve ever thought looked to be any good at all.

    In part because he appears to be actually capturing the stupid, offensive, yet weirdly funny approach of Postal itself.

  30. Wrestlevania says:

    Why is the bald terrorist Scottish..?

  31. Knife Bandit Ant says:

    Ed Wood loved movies, he just didn’t know how bad a director he was (and his budget wasn’t helping). Uwe just want to make money and with the budget he has talented people can make good movies. Therefore you should not compare them.