“Sex If You Win, Sex If You Lose”

By Jim Rossignol on March 19th, 2008 at 2:23 pm.


Those seem like reasonable odds, if sadly unrealistic. Anyway, the definitely not-safe-for-office-environs sex-game publisher G-Collections [careful, readers!], has announced that its latest 3D sex adventure on PC, Lightning Warrior Raidy, has gone gold. In fact it seems that Raidy has been presumed to be so popular with G-Collections fans that a sequel has already been announced, even before the first game has gone on sale. Nothing like a dead cert, eh? G-Collections explain the appeal of their cartoon molestations:

With a classic combat feel in the tradition of the finest computer based RPGs, the player navigates the maze-like tower, fighting hordes of sexy monster women and gathering potions, weapons and armor to defeat the tower’s twisted master. With the “sex if you win, sex if you lose” game system, Raidy is able to turn the twisted fetishes of the boss monsters against them if she defeats them in combat, or succumb to their wiles if she loses.

Yeah, you know the system. It’s where you get XP (seXP! sorry) even if you fail the quest. All very familiar RPG stuff. Jolly good, and really in the tradition of the finest computer-based RPGs. Lord British would be proud.

You know, it was a genuine task to be able to find a “screenshot” that could be cropped for use on the frontpage of RPS. We are, after all, a family website. Sort of. And there are some interesting images in there. And by interesting I mean worrying. The buttock-handling and use of leather string pales in comparison to the activities of what appears to be a friendly octopus and some teenage girls… Still, “the leading publisher of Japanese PC dating sim games in English” (employing a loose use of the word ‘dating’ we Britishers aren’t familiar with), does reassuringly inform us that “all characters in this game, as in all games we sell, are aged 18 or older.” Yeah, all those cartoon characters have birth certificates, passports, and families back home, worrying about their career in the videogames industry. (“Raidy, when are you going to get a proper job.” Etc)

Anyway, if you want to keep up to date the latest sex game news, you can do what I did, and have a good long read of the IGDA’s Sex & Games Blog, which has been running for several years now. In fact it occurs to be that it’s getting a bit crowded in sex and gaming arena. Perhaps a bit.. intimate. More and more people are having their say. Even RPS chum Dave Triforce has started making out like he’s a ludic sexpert. Speaking of which, I must write up that Singles 2 retrospective for PC Gamer. It’s the only game I’ve played in which one of the right-click context menu options reads “self-service”. God help you if your Single is in bed with a woman when you decide to find out what that does…

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46 Comments »

  1. Chaz says:

    I’m guessing your Single doesn’t set the timer on the bedside Teasmaid then?

  2. Willem says:

    So this is what you do with your time, Jim? Filth.

  3. Jim Rossignol says:

    Slow news day. And I’m a keen… researcher. Besides, it’s this or why Eve is better than World Of Warcraft, again.

  4. Qjuad says:

    Somehow, Lightning Warrior Ready managed to get off lighter in that post than the number one Hater-and-destroyer-of-women, The Witcher.

  5. Rook says:

    You could talk about the End War video, and fragdolls… http://www.gametrailers.com/player/32022.html

    Aren’t you pleased that this is what’s slowly replacing print journalism :)

    • Phantom_Renegade says:

      You ever read print gaming journalism? I’ve yet to come across one of those magazines that didn’t read as a press release/love letter/job application. There was the occasional critical article/review, but they’re far and in between. Death of the print medium is the best thing that ever happened to journalism, both gaming and regular.

  6. Jim Rossignol says:

    I met the Fragdolls recently. They were very tall.

  7. Marcos Castrillon says:

    I must confess I’m kinda addicted to the bishoujo games. From time to time I find news of a particularly disturbing japanese game and I feel compelled to know if what I’m reading about is truly real.

    And yes, that Rape sim is real. And it has sequels.

  8. arqueturus says:

    @Qjuad

    I fear you missed the point. By a dutch mile.

  9. Qjuad says:

    @Arqueturus

    Wouldn’t be the first time.

  10. Dan (WR) says:

    I’m sure I recently read somewhere that Japan was finally bringing in legislation to outlaw underage porn, but that manga and anime (and presumably Hentai games) were to be exempt under fears that outlawing them would remove an outlet for people with those… urges. They still don’t seem to be bothered about the monster rape part though.

    To be honest, I’ve always been surprised that sex games haven’t had more penetration (fnar). I don’t think there’s much demand in the US and Europe for Japan’s H Games, and Western sex games are few and far between – usually ranging from poor flash animations to unerotic 3D render posers in games and sex MMOGS. I’m only guessing though. I have no idea on the sales figures.

    Mainstream flesh games get short shrift too. I’ve nothing against games like Rumble Roses, but I’d prefer it if tittilating games had their own niche and there was less inappropriate intrusion in other games – like PoP:Warrior Within’s thong-Goth or the pointless animation of Arbieth’s bounciness in NWN or… well… the list is endless.

  11. Jim Rossignol says:

    I think Singles 2 is the unchallenged boss of the Western sex games. It’s an awesomely disturbing Sims-alike, where your psychotic mission is to sleep with both the women you’re sharing a flat with, one of which is your ex-girlfriend. (Or ex-boyfriend, I think, as I recall there being a lady option.)

    The best part is the freakish behaviour exhibited by your character, who must shower and clean himself obsessively for several hours a day to maintain his self esteem.

  12. Kieron Gillen says:

    I took great joys reviewing both Singles games. I appear to have interviewed every single Sims-rip off in existence.

    (Which there aren’t enough of.)

    EDIT: When I say “great joys” I mean writing the reviews. They were nob.

    KG

  13. Charles says:

    Kieron, in that case, have you had a chance to review Supple yet?

    According to their website, its “It’s funny, sexy, challenging and much more.”

  14. The_B says:

    Did you do Desperate Housewives Kieron?

    And by ‘do’ I mean review. I’m not sure that even I could bring myself to adding innunendo to this post…

  15. Phil says:

    Something Awful has a comprehensive selection of ‘dating sim’ reviews.

    They haven’t done one in a while, perhaps the goon responsible went blind.

  16. Kieron Gillen says:

    Charles: I haven’t. BUT THERE IS A FREE TRIAL. Win!

    KG

  17. The_B says:

    I think I have just read the funniest character description ever.

    A dark elf and the fourth floor boss of the Cubust tower.

    Seems fine so far.

    Her pointed ears and dark skin compliment her young-looking features.

    Not too bad, abliet a slight undercurrent given we know what the game is actually about.

    She enters battle armed with a rapier…

    Weapons. Always nice to know in a game.

    and is known to be fond of enemas.

    Oh.

  18. Butler` says:

    And I thought what my dad does in Second Life was scary.

  19. dhex says:

    [Yeah, no - admin]

  20. dhex says:

    wait – what was wrong with that?

    there is only so much you can blame on the toxic effects of testosterone-concentrated fields – high fantasy and the whole chainmail bikini thing, for example.

  21. Okami says:

    dhex, I guess your post was deleted for including too many blatant, stupid prejudices…

  22. Radiant says:

    You know what the king of kings boss of bosses dating sims was?

    DOA EXTREME BEACH VOLLEY BALL.

    A dating sim wrapped up as a volley ball game.
    A lesbian dating sim at that.

    Best bit of marketing in gaming history.

  23. Jim Rossignol says:

    Yes, let’s not put entire cultures to the torch.

  24. AbyssUK says:

    This game sounds like a normal Friday night in Hull.

    Edit: If you replace sexy with obese.

  25. dhex says:

    mr. rossignol, okami: fair enough.

    on the other hand – and i say this in all seriousness – there is a deep undercurrent of something that goes beyond misogyny and even objectification and hooks a left past vagina dentata and bang-utot and has its own little special place, hopefully in hell.

    in one sense it is much like the undercurrents found in fantasy/swords and sorcery genre fiction and d&d (chainmail bikinis 4eva) it is probably not that toxic to outsiders. adherents are fucked, but they may very well gravitate in that direction because of their innate fuckedness, or social sanctioning, or some conflation thereof. the combination of grinding testosterone, adolescent monomania and deep longing tends to have these sorts of effects, much like how head shops have not changed in 40 years. (dunno the uk equivalent – dedicated stores where you’d buy bongs and jeans with bad patches and the like.)

    but in another sense it’s something else entirely. is this parochial reactionary nonsense from me? in part.

    but only in part.

  26. Okami says:

    I won’t pretend to have understood half of what you’ve written in your last post, but at least it wasn’t downright insulting. And I guess you do have a point, but my english just isn’t good enough to get it…

  27. DigitalSignalX says:

    We used to say porn forced technology to evolve just like PC games did video cards. VHS won over Betamax because porn was cheaper to distribute on the first. Flash/shockwave animation, the JPEG / MGPEG compressions, online retail methods; all can find their first widespread uses via adult material.

  28. Nick says:

    So.. Space Race – War – Porn?

  29. Larington says:

    To add to that thing about prawns pushing technology… Anyone know why they put multiple camera angle options into DVDs? I think you can probably guess.

    And no, its not got anything to do with football.

  30. Noc says:

    @Nick: Simplify it as Nationalism and Horniness.

    Which often tend to be the same thing . . . there’s nothing that helps motivate a culture better then widespread sexual frustration.

    And @dhex:

    I think it’s important, though, that the market for these sorts of things is tremendously bigger in Japan then it is here. Western fantasy has sexist undertones as far back as . . . well, the beginnings of Western fantasy. But historically, Japan’s view of sexuality and gender roles has always been pretty closely entwined with violence and the warrior culture. (See Nanking)

    Clearly the culture has changed in the past seventy-odd years. But Japan’s still got some deep-seated issues with gender and sexuality to work out. The West does too, but ours are of a somewhat different sort, and I propose that the fascination of a small subculture here with exported Japanese pronzors is an anomaly.

    Also, mommy issues.

  31. Okami says:

    The whole “sex if you win, sex if you lose” game system hast to be the greatest video game innovation since.. since..

    Hell, it’s the greatest innovation of all times! If only real life had this system…

  32. malkav11 says:

    I don’t mind some sex in my games. Even better if there’s attractive art (and yes, I find some cartoon women to be attractive. So be it.). But hentai games tend to have three issues: one, most of them aren’t really games so much as choose-your-own-adventure books with a lot fewer plot branches than usual. Two, most of them have really terrible writing and/or translation. Three, a whole heap of them have some really fucked up sexual elements. I don’t actually object to that, per se. I believe the idea is to work those urges out in a safe, harmless way. But I don’t have those urges myself and don’t want any part of that stuff as a result.

    And the ones with real gameplay tend to do it poorly, yet the gameplay gets in the way of the primary role as sexual fantasy delivery.

  33. KingMob says:

    There are some decent games in this genre.

    Have a look at this Let’s Play:

    When death clouds your vision, can you resist the urge to kill? (Tsukihime)

  34. malkav11 says:

    I happen to like Divi Dead, myself. But the translation’s still horrible and it’s still not much of a game, really. It’s just got tons of atmosphere and some hot women.

  35. Dorian Cornelius Jasper says:

    Speaking of Tsukihime and games by Type-Moon…

    I rather like the fan-translated Fate/stay night, though I would be remiss in saying I like “playing” it. As it’s a visual novel, I have no shame in admitting that I like it because it’s a good read–and neither does it, apparently.

    Because, let’s be honest here, who doesn’t want to see King Arthur, Hercules, Cu Chulainn, and Gilgamesh get into a battle royale a la Highlander? With explosions, laser light shows, time paradoxes, Holy Grails, and some poor sod with a Galahad complex and an improbable sword-conjuring power brightening up the place.

    There’s also the nerdy compulsion to take figures from mythology and history, then shoehorn them into arbitrary character classes. That always helps.

    And the girls are cute, too.

    Now, if only the final third story path were translated, that’d make it a must-have for the “reading books with prawns on the side for the PC” game category. … The fan translators also guilt you into buying a legit copy of the game, and I can’t in good faith deny their efforts, much less the efforts of the company that actually made the game itself–not with my unfailing support of Stardock as precedent and my own affection for the game itself, to say the least.

  36. Unknown_Gamer says:

    Chaz says:

    I’m guessing your Single doesn’t set the timer on the bedside Teasmaid then?

    Willem says:

    So this is what you do with your time, Jim? Filth.

    Geez just cause someone likes a hentai game doesn’t mean they are filth heck I have seen a few hentai games that if you just remove the sex scenes would be a PERFECT game

  37. CHARLEY COX says:

    pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeee will u go out with me
    pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  38. Sparkasaurusmex says:

    I don’t think we are there yet, but I see a future where CG porn can replace human porn. It seems gross to some, but it’s certainly better for the potentially exploited porn “stars.”

  39. decoy says:

    The “new immersive 3d porn” not that far. You can move, look around and “enjoy” the experiense.

    Virtual Reality Sex

  40. Gazz says:

    Ah, but genre aside – is it a good game? =)

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