Kung-fu Master Meets Sex Offenders Register

By Kieron Gillen on April 2nd, 2008 at 10:45 pm.

Panting for more? Pant-o? Skirting the issue? I give up
When Walker found this, he lobbed it straight at me: “Your Sort of Thing”, apparently. This is him implying I’m a disturbed onaninst who fruitfully ejaculates at the images of underage frogs in lingerie. Which is ludicrous – all the frogs are of legal age. Anyway, With its instruction video appearing just before the 1st, this existed in a “April Fools… or just Japanese Software Development?” file for a few moments. But, no, it’s real.

Yes, it’s the new game from Nigoro, the makers of last year’s aristocratic-slapping-game Rose & Camellia, and sees them really delving their unique idiom. Videos, awesome plot fragments and slander against podcasting comrades beneath the cut.

Firstly, the plot. And this is probably the best piece of Videogame writing since Portal or the good bit in Bioshock or whoever wrote the line “Splendid jetpack dreams of the Apatosaurus named Brontosaurus” on the Jetpack Bronosaur webpage

“I’m the Mekuri Master, the Skirt-Flip King. The name isn’t their idea… It’s mine. I’m a man who was born to lift skirts. You think any so-called “rules” are gonna stop me? When classes get out, I race through the corridors like a fearsome wind, flipping, flipping, flipping up girls’ skirts and letting the whole world know that I am the Mekuri Master!”

That’s the way to do it: “I race through the corridors like a fearsome wind, flipping, flipping, flipping up girls’ skirts “. Glorious poetry. It’s like being put in the sweaty boots of popular sex-pest Simon Byron, of One Life Left and Crimewatch fame.

And here’s the baby in action…

Thanks, Gametrailer! You can expose our panties anytime you like.

Words fail. Only three remain. Play it here.

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17 Comments »

  1. Seniath says:

    I’m..

    But….

    Wha..?

    Well and truly lost for words.

  2. Nick says:

    “When the meter vanishes to the mistake and recieving the counter attack, it is game over”

    Hmm.

  3. Larington says:

    Custers Revenge, eat your heart out…

    Nothing quite like one game single handedly setting back gamings reputation as not being for geeks who don’t get any.

  4. ryan in exile says:

    in england, you call them ‘pants’ right?

  5. Nick says:

    This game is pants, yes.

  6. Kieron Gillen says:

    Ryan: Yes.

    There were many jokes, but I resisted all of ‘em.

    KG

  7. Will Tomas says:

    Ah, Japanese game developers…

    “Skirt can be turned over by moving cursor form skirt under up.”

    I especially like the bald man telling him off when it’s a game over. See, kids, it’s wrong to harass women…

  8. Elyscape says:

    Is it just me or does this game not want to run in Firefox? I can play it in Internet Explorer fine, but with Firefox I just get some problem with cookies. And yes, I have tried deleting the offending cookies, and it didn’t help.

  9. PleasingFungus says:

    It’s just you. A little tinkering with NoScript had it running fine for me in Firefox 2.

    Also, I’m not certain that I’d call it another “Custer’s Revenge.” Because 1) it’s free and 2) it’s no worse than a hundred things out there already.

    • PleasingFungus says:

      Revisiting this post several years later: a much, much better argument would be “A comedy game by some japanese dudes is worse than a crude game simulating rape that invokes centuries of genocide?”

      Man, past me had good intentions, but he was just so dumb.

  10. malkav11 says:

    “Choose your favorite panties”? Yeah. Um.

    Honestly I didn’t see anything that suggested why that was supposed to be fun in the video. Bizarre, certainly, but where’s the game?

  11. Ixis says:

    lol, got the high score XD

  12. matt says:

    That’s pretty brilliant, though i find it quite hard.. :)

  13. Not-a-bot says:

    i find it quite hard

    That’s what she said!

  14. Smee says:

    I love that Street-Fighter destroy-the-car style destroy-the-statue minigame.

  15. Larington says:

    I was kidding about the custers revenge bit btw.

  16. Piratepete says:

    whoever said there was no originality in games anymore was wrong. As politically correct as a Carry on movie and just as fun :)

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