Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

By Kieron Gillen on April 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 am.

I’ve been pleased to see the new Crispy Gamer column about Game-health issues, as we could never write it – despite our previously discussed gaming hypochondria - because we are phenomenally lazy. Steve Steinberg gives some tips to combat Warcraft Back, which includes things which look suspiciously like Yoga. We’re not good at Yoga. We think Yoga taught Luke Skywalker to do that stuff with the Force.

Oh – This is a Space Week post because in Space, Astronauts do exercise and in the Space-future we’ll all be perfectly healthy. Millions now living will never die. Yes. Anyway – anyone got any health tips they’ll recommend? Other than doing anything obviously healthy?

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19 Comments »

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  1. Jim Rossignol says:

    Drink coffee, eat chips, snort sherbert fountains.

  2. Velt says:

    Healthily jump in front of a bus.

    Can’t die from being a fatshit if you die first from stupidity.

  3. Seniath says:

    Don’t play WoW?

  4. Babs says:

    Get a Thai massage whilst playing. Preferably a dodgy one that includes ‘additional services’.

  5. Apco says:

    Don’t ever do the “Superman” unless you want to remove your spinal discs…

  6. Gybe! says:

    i just wanted to say that i got thee tortoise reference

  7. Tormod says:

    Work It, Make It, Do It, Makes Us!

    Obviously keep your hands in shape between play sessions! (you can actually meditate to that one.)

  8. drunkymonkey says:

    The Forward Bend is like, impossible.

  9. Kismet says:

    Just take your Game Supple tablets regularly and everything will be fine.

  10. AbyssUK says:

    Need to ‘raid’ all night..don’t drink coffee like normal people then don’t fear! Just add 1kg of sugar to 1 pint of boiling water. Stir (for ages) until it all dissolves (by this time its only warm ish) drink down in one. You’ll be up for ages.

    If your worried about your teeth use a straw so it doesn’t touch your teeth.

    I actually used to do this at uni when I need to get a report in, my stomach never really recovered…

  11. terry says:

    This may be tantamount to paganism, but my local has made a good thing (a VERY good thing) out of awarding people who beat the barstaff at Wii Bowling with a complimentary pint (ie free as in beer, not a lecherous beverage with a smooth tongue in a dangerous situation). I can report that my bowling prowess has improved fourfold but I can no longer stand up without medical assistance.

  12. Andrew Farrell says:

    I knew someone was going to post Daft Hands. And now, my pancreas just exploded after reading AbyssUK’s post.

  13. Phil says:

    Do twenty proper push ups when your game is either loading or saving – this also helps to prevent cheaply quick saving your way through a game.

    (Warning – If you try this with No one Lives Forever you’ll end up with a grotesquely overdeveloped upper body though spindley little legs and end up having to nuckle your way across the floor like a sliver back.)

  14. nihohit says:

    Mטy real life advice – ignore it at all times, and before you shower and go to sleep (or, if you’re a morning shower-person, before you shower in the morning), take a twenty minute run.
    It’s also a good way of making you whoer every day, you filthy pig!

  15. Dr. Pod says:

    terry: How on earth does that work? Surely everyone in the pub will be challenging the bar staff? infact, are they even bar staff anymore? After all, most of their time will be spent warding off drunks…

  16. Ghiest says:

    Crispygamer always takes about 5 minutes to load the front page, well any page for that matter on their site.

  17. ElGuapo says:

    I just closed my office door and took 2 minutes to do all the stretching poses. My back feels wonderful. Honestly, it felt a bit punched before.

    Kudos to the author and to making it fun. The Cobra one is particularly nice.

  18. Jim Rossignol says:

    Awesome. Reading RPS improved someone’s health.

  19. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    snort sherbert fountains

    For maximum healthage sherbert needs to be melted and injected intravenously.

    My back is currently killing me as I’ve spent the last four days shovelling chicken shit. Exercise has clearly been over-rated. In other news, Bobcats are Awesome.