By John Walker on April 3rd, 2008 at 9:59 pm.
Yeah! In the cosmos!

Thank goodness for this game. Fuelled by a cold, and Morgan’s Spiced Rum, my rage was complete upon discovering Space Tripper doesn’t bloody work on my machine. It’s too good or something, meaning the game grinds to an unplayable halt after a couple of minutes. Well bang goes the idea of writing about that for Space Week then. But then what should swoop to the rescue but Cactus’ Fuck Space!, a vertically scrolling shmup of maximum greatitude.
Its pixellated style works perfectly, creating a really very hard shooter with some superbly distinctive enemies. Apparently there are seven bosses, but so far I’ve seen a whole two of them, demonstrating my remarkable gaming skills. I get that second one, and then damn the dropping bullets! DAMN THEM!

Cactus is Swedish indie developer, Jonatan Soderstrom. He’s remarkably prolific, with his site containing tons of games, worth checking through. Fuck Space! originally came out in November 2006, and he’s created fifteen games since then.
Well then. I don’t normally provide RPS’ swearing, but tonight I had context.


03/04/2008 at 22:17 AbyssUK says:
Finding the shoot button is half the fun boyz and girlz.
03/04/2008 at 22:27 John Walker says:
It’s Z, like in all games!
03/04/2008 at 22:31 Lorc says:
“Explore the fuck space”.
03/04/2008 at 23:14 Matthew Gallant says:
“Yeah! In the cosmos!”
In the cosmos…. or in the Black Hole?
*We apologize for terrible joke. Those responsible have been sacked.*
04/04/2008 at 00:46 bowl of snakes says:
i love this blog
although i was kind of disappointed this was a game link and not just an anti-space rant
04/04/2008 at 07:23 James T says:
Yeah, space sucks. Give me snowfields any day!
04/04/2008 at 08:39 Hmm says:
Am I missing something? Am I not cool enough? To me this was just a completely average vshump with a slightly ‘interesting’ (read: low res) art style.
04/04/2008 at 08:50 roBurky says:
Jesus hell. That is a thoroughly unfair piece of software.
There really needs to be some kind of warning about the light speed missiles of instant death.
04/04/2008 at 09:06 Rev. S Campbell says:
Alternatively, you need to stop SUCKING SO MUCH.
04/04/2008 at 10:11 roBurky says:
But but but. The only way to survive the missiles of death is to not be moving when they come. And there’s no way to know when they come, so there’s no way to know when to stop.
Edit: Ok, the solution is to never move.
04/04/2008 at 11:31 John Walker says:
Not at all. The solution is to move lots and lots. My falling bullet strategy is to wiggle left and right with maximum ferocity.
04/04/2008 at 11:44 roBurky says:
Well, moving as little as possible has got me to the fifth boss so far, with no deaths to falling missiles.
04/04/2008 at 14:05 redzero says:
fuck space rocks!
04/04/2008 at 16:22 MedO says:
Z as a standard, non-configurable fire button is a standard annoyance for anyone who doesn’t have a “qwerty” keyboard layout. On the german keyboard, for example, Y and Z are swapped. Imagine the fun when you have to press X and Z at once.
However, it’s usually possible to swap to qwerty-layout by pressing “alt-shift” in any application, at least in WinXP.
04/04/2008 at 20:11 Stallman Jr says:
MedO: I imagine that’s a pain if you’re ever using Emacs.
Also: This: The game really is RUBBISH people; why do you like it so much?
04/04/2008 at 23:47 Ginhyun says:
Yeah, the missiles are an annoying way of artificially increasing the difficulty. It just means that moving around is punished by random instant-kills. The game wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for that.
06/04/2008 at 22:55 Mitch Small says:
@ Stallman Jr: NO U
But seriously, I agree that it’s average, a diversion and not much more and completely not up to the standard of Cactus… but hey, it’s a neat diversion. I wouldn’t call it rubbish, but then again, I’m not British.
26/04/2008 at 16:08 Fat Zombie says:
205.
29/06/2008 at 03:47 marriotr says:
For some reason, clicking on this game’s program file causes nothing to happen. In my task manager, I see the ‘fuck space’ process, but I have no way t access the shooty goodness!