By John Walker on April 5th, 2008 at 9:18 am.
Videogames are getting so hard these days.
UPDATE: Exclusive RPS Walkthrough now available.
Rock, Paper, Shotgun
You Have To Burn The Rope: UPDATE
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Read our finest words
05/04/2008 at 09:22 Lorc says:
I can’t fully explain my affection for this game.
05/04/2008 at 09:23 Freelancepolice says:
It ran a billion miles an hour for me!
05/04/2008 at 09:26 derFeef says:
That made my day, thank you Mr. Walker. I just woke up and played it – wonderful!
05/04/2008 at 09:32 Optimaximal says:
…maybe press ‘Refresh’ and start again?
05/04/2008 at 09:49 Pulp says:
When you only have time to beat one game before you have to go.
05/04/2008 at 09:54 garry says:
I have a feeling the ending is trying to say something about Portal..
05/04/2008 at 10:01 MisterBritish says:
Spoiler:
You have to burn the rope.
05/04/2008 at 10:20 roBurky says:
Now what am I going to do with the rest of my day?
05/04/2008 at 10:24 Nuyan says:
Best ending credits since Portal!
05/04/2008 at 10:25 Cigol says:
Those graphics make me think back fondly to the Sega Master System.
05/04/2008 at 10:26 Theory says:
I missed the chandelier and fell on the boss the first time I tried to burn the rope. Does this make me the worst gamer ever?
05/04/2008 at 10:38 dartt says:
I burnt the rope!
05/04/2008 at 10:42 KBKarma says:
I got the chandelier the first time, then fell through it and hit the boss.
So, yeah.
05/04/2008 at 10:46 Nuyan says:
“I missed the chandelier and fell on the boss the first time I tried to burn the rope. Does this make me the worst gamer ever?”
I had to retry at least 4 times. I’m not kidding.
05/04/2008 at 10:47 O.G.N says:
Speaking of Portal, Game-ism has made an interesting observation about GLaDOS.
05/04/2008 at 11:01 Narvi says:
So is this biting social commentary about the false achievement of winning games or something?
I have the vague feeling I’m being made fun of… :<
05/04/2008 at 11:03 grey_painter says:
I hate games where you have to know the inner workings of the developers minds and understand their own twisted logic. I mean there are no clues in that game as to how to kill the boss!
05/04/2008 at 11:40 Hobbes says:
@freelancepolice
“It ran a billion miles an hour for me!”
Yeah, me too. Fixed it by updating to the latest version of the Flash plugin.
05/04/2008 at 11:41 tom says:
Couldnt handle all the rpg stat assignment elements or the character design tools. Found the levelling system awkward and the puzzles really arcane.. Had to resort to gamefaqs TBH.
05/04/2008 at 11:52 Kieron Gillen says:
I’m stuck in the corridor. The corridor goes up a bit, and my character can only go left and right. I’m not sure what I have to do. Please help.
KG
05/04/2008 at 12:11 John O'Kane says:
I’m stuck on that bit too, did some research and I found the manual here, http://www.mazapan.se/YouHaveToBurnTheRopeManual/ but TLDR. Can someone give me a cheat codes instead?
05/04/2008 at 12:13 John O'Kane says:
Actually it’s weird reading that manual. On the one hand, the comedy is in the obviousness, but on the other hand – when did it become obvious? Would this manual actually be a treasure trove of important information to someone who has never played a computer game before?
05/04/2008 at 12:20 alphaxion says:
my copy didn’t seem to have the rickroll mandated by internet law.. is this a bug or do I have an illegal version?
05/04/2008 at 12:46 Findus Crispy Pancakes says:
Is my ‘version’ broke? He doesn’t seem to “move”; he just teleports places. Also, it causes my browser to curl up and die….
why?
05/04/2008 at 12:59 mrrobsa says:
As mentioned ^above^, people who find the game at warp speed 9 need to update their browser’s flash player, I’ve tried to complete it without updating, trust me its too difficult.
Anyone else think the music was quite ‘Flight of the Conchords’-esque?
05/04/2008 at 13:12 James T says:
Well, it knocks the shit out of Invisible War!
05/04/2008 at 13:18 jph wacheski says:
heheha,. that was great,. yeah the song makes it. sorta Ween-ish,. great work!
05/04/2008 at 13:29 Lambo says:
That is the pure simple source equation of gaming!
Play. Win. Reward. It doesnt matter that it was ridiculously easy! It gave you game which you smiled your way through beginning to end. It does everything portal does and it succeeds because of that.
BTW Portal really has started something wonderful with Still Alive. I know there were other credit songs but i feel Still Alive will always be “The” song.
YHTBTR is very basically the best game i have played since portal, because it fails at nothing and makes you happy 100% of the time you play.
Nice find Walker
05/04/2008 at 13:43 John Walker says:
Kudos for the find goes to Steve Avery, whose credit is hidden in the alt text.
05/04/2008 at 14:25 radomaj says:
Re: O.G.N
Wow, great find! What’s wrong with you, Valve? Why would anybody want to do that?
05/04/2008 at 15:24 Jonathon Halliwell says:
Made me smile. Love the music in the game
05/04/2008 at 15:36 Mike says:
hey i liked the walkthrough ne chance you can put the controls in thanks
05/04/2008 at 15:51 Zeno, Internetographer says:
What, no online multiplayer?
05/04/2008 at 16:00 Mike says:
For those of you having trouble with the graphics, a text adventure version of the game can be yours! It’s still in alpha, so it’s only the bare bones of the strategic depth of the game itself. You can find it here, but you’ll need Win-Glulxe or similar to open it.
05/04/2008 at 16:09 John Walker says:
Excellent stuff Mike, but you forgot to end on a text-song! (Also, some look-ats would be nice : )
05/04/2008 at 16:11 Mike says:
Alpha 2 coming later. I’m just working on some background AI and environmental effects.
Okay, the second sentence is a lie.
05/04/2008 at 16:33 wcaypahwat says:
To date, apart from portal, I still think world in conflict has had the greatest musical spots ever. But I’ve always been a fan of white snake. Also, someone mentioned invisible war. Kidney Thieves was one of the upsides to that particular endeavour.
Games need more great music, damnit!
05/04/2008 at 16:36 Chris Evans says:
Intriguingly good =]
Great end music too :D
05/04/2008 at 16:37 Mike says:
Now with messages, pitfalls and ending celebrations.
http://www.sekritforum.co.uk/burn
That’s all from me. Incidentally, if anyone knows how to get Inform7 to package stuff straight to a Windows executable (e.g. people don’t have to download Win-Gluxle) that would be fantastic.
05/04/2008 at 17:01 Kian says:
Haha, that’s great Mike! :D
05/04/2008 at 17:09 Citizen Parker says:
Thanks for the great FAQ. One thing though – you forgot the obligatory “Thanks” section that is 3/4 the length of the FAQ
05/04/2008 at 17:10 SuperNashwan says:
OMG THESE GAM IS SO SHIT I USED A TRAINER TO BEAT IT IT WOZ RELLY BORING LULZ
05/04/2008 at 17:22 Mr. Dantes says:
I’m extremely conflicted about whether I should bash my head in or grin like a lunatic after playing this game.
In all probability, I shall do both.
05/04/2008 at 17:24 Del Boy says:
Brilliant.
05/04/2008 at 17:30 Matthew Gallant says:
I love it, great find.
05/04/2008 at 17:46 Larington says:
Whats interesting is that this game reminds me about that whole thing about death in games. *Jumps for cover as everyone else on RPS throws a pillow at him*
IE Should games really have life or death survival as the basic core of the challenge, for instance, the designers of Fable 2 tried to experiment with a system where instead of dying you just spend a few moments getting your ass kicked on the ground until you eventually get back up and enact your revenge… It got taken out in the end though, it wasn’t popular with testers or focus groups by the sounds of it, which is a shame (In my opinion).
05/04/2008 at 17:59 radomaj says:
Okay, this is embarrassing. How can I beat the text version? I tried to jump fruitlessly, get the chandelier, throw the torch, equip the rope and I just can’t get past the Grinning Colossus. This is not a joke post, I really can’t. Help me.
05/04/2008 at 18:03 hmm says:
Wiould be interesting to see if a non-gamer actually found this easy or not. Don’t have one to hand myself.
05/04/2008 at 18:47 Jonathan says:
Reply to Lambo
I’ve always been incredibly fond of the lecture at the end of the pc version of Earth Worm Jim. Criminaly there’s no youtube video.
Also the song at the end of Battle Isle Incubation is if anything funnier than Portal’s. For a different reason.
05/04/2008 at 18:58 Mike says:
radomaj – I would strongly suggesting using the ‘burn’ action!
Glad you liked the text edition, Kian! :)
05/04/2008 at 19:02 Thelps says:
Guys, after the corridor there is a big room and a door closes behind you. That is the sign that you are in the room with the big monster. It can hurt you so be careful, I’m stuck at this bit, but I can survive for long periods by dodging and jumping.
05/04/2008 at 19:06 Lambo says:
Reply to Jonaton.
I actually haven’t played Earth Worm Jim or Battle Isle, and wasn’t trying to propose that Portal is the best/only funny game ending.
I was merely pointing out that in the future any game with a song or the like at the end will be thought of as copying portal rather than anything else. Since portal is the most obviously recognized one at the moment.
I completely respect that there may have been better game endings than the, in my opinion, heavenly “Still Alive”.
So put down your torches and pitch forks, no need to kill me for heresy to your cult following to a particular game people……unless you know of the incident involving the goat and the banana, which wasn’t my fault i swear…..*cough*
05/04/2008 at 19:08 John Walker says:
radomaj: the solution you’re after is “up”.
Thelps: have you tried throwing your weapon at the boss?
05/04/2008 at 19:37 Mike says:
I think he’s found ‘up’, as he’s got the torch.
Is ‘up’ a text adventure standard? I’d not seen it before I used Inform7.
05/04/2008 at 19:46 radomaj says:
Well, on my previous post I meant that I: got the torch, can see the Rope and the Chandelier by looking, I’m in a place with the title “Chandelier”, but when I type burn (by itself or with “burn the torch/rope”) I get:
“>burn
(the Suspicious Torch)
This dangerous act would achieve little.”
and I’m just stuck.
05/04/2008 at 20:31 Jonathan says:
Reply to Lambo
Don’t your existence amuses, for now.
I was just saying Portal isn’t the only thing that has ended with a joke or song.
05/04/2008 at 20:32 Mr. Dantes says:
Beta testing to the rescue!
Er, well. Mike, how about implementing a check for implied context with verbs like ‘burn’? Should be relatively easy to do in Inform 7.
Radomaj, try using a sentence that has ‘burn’ and ‘with’ in it. :)
05/04/2008 at 21:51 Mike says:
This would be the second complete game I’ve made with Inform7, and implied context is but a mystery to me without hardcoding! However, come morning that will be the next task.
I’ll make this the best damn tribute you ever saw. *sniff*
05/04/2008 at 22:03 SirNuke says:
Who’s up for making a speed-run?
05/04/2008 at 22:27 Mike says:
Haha!
Actually, I’m waiting for a Portal map to be made based on it.
06/04/2008 at 00:09 mystic sika says:
for a second or two at the start of this I had a rick dangerous flashback.
06/04/2008 at 00:29 MisterBritish says:
By post count, I judge this game to be more popular than Deus Ex 3, Thief 4 and DoW 2
06/04/2008 at 00:46 Cycle says:
Someone else ran with a similar joke earlier…. I present Quest for the Crown:
http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/flash/quest.html
06/04/2008 at 06:52 Rufus T. Firefly says:
I’m reminded of Pick Up the Phone Booth and Die, an old text adventure, more than Portal.
Hint: don’t pick up the phone booth, or you will die.
06/04/2008 at 06:59 Dorian Cornelius Jasper says:
Maybe I’ll press refresh and start again.
06/04/2008 at 10:35 Rob says:
What I particularly like about this game is from the shots in the end credits you can see that at some point in the design process a conscious decision was made to make the game still easier (the platforms leading to the rope were made wider).
06/04/2008 at 11:27 faceometer says:
that walkthrough is excellent, but not nearly self indulgent enough. i suggest some credits, a few dedications, adverts for other walkthroughs, etc
06/04/2008 at 21:33 Andrew Armstrong says:
This is an amazing parody and, honestly, put a big grin on my face playing it and finishing it :D
(and thanks for the link to the end song!)
06/04/2008 at 22:45 yxxxx says:
Did anyone else find the 4th instruction?
Right click
07/04/2008 at 08:24 James T says:
Oo-er, mazapan.se appears to have lapsed for the moment. Will I ever find the 4th instruction?!?!?!
07/04/2008 at 08:57 Boop says:
I hear they’re dumbing down the console version.
07/04/2008 at 09:02 AbyssUK says:
And the PS3 version only runs at 40FPS in a 1080i max resolution and has terrible tearing
07/04/2008 at 17:41 Josh Marshall says:
I’m on pins and needles about whether radomaj will figure out how to defeat the Grinning Colossus.
09/04/2008 at 15:12 Prana Surge says:
I’m not a hero. Never was. Never will be. Yet I burned the rope on first try.
12/06/2008 at 06:51 Crap says:
The walkthrough didnt help me i just dont understand !!?!?!?!???? What do i have to do these days