Blizzard Deny World Boll’s Next Movie

By John Walker on April 21st, 2008 at 9:47 am.

Devastating news to start the week. There will never be a Uwe Boll movie set in the World of Warcraft universe. MTV spoke to the modern day Eisenstein and learned of this new tragedy. Boll told them,

Won't someone show him some love?

“I got in contact with Paul Sams of Blizzard, and he said, ‘We will not sell the movie rights, not to you… especially not to you.’ Because it’s such a big online game success, maybe a bad movie would destroy that ongoing income, what the company has with it.”

It is a most peculiar comment, at once appearing to imply that he was intending to make a bad movie, and further that he thinks his movies are so very awful that they have the capability to hinder the WoW crazytrain. But Boll may be hurting. Not only has the online petition begging him to stop making films now received over 200,000 signatures, but the implication that he’s anything less than Welles meets Bergman meets, er, Michael Bay has got him very riled indeed. Take a look:

Only 800,000 to go.

Via CVG.

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31 Comments »

  1. AbyssUK says:

    How to make WoW even more boring… bring in Uwe Boll!
    I’d like to see an epic 5hr long film based on killing the same rabbit 7574 times to so you can make a money pouch.

  2. Nallen says:

    I really don’t get him, a perenial mystery. It’s like someone with all the movie making skill and talent of my dad has been just been handed a whole load of IPs and allowed to run with it.

    Except if my dad made movies they’d all be based on tanks of the second world war and you can be damn sure it’d be historically accurate.

    I mean he did basically say in that quote “I asked Blizzard about making a WoW film and they said no way, which might be because I make shitty films”.

  3. drunkymonkey says:

    Oh my god that video is hilarious. Utterly, utterly hilarious.

    You know, I’m starting to think that Mr. Boll is a Boris Johnson. He just says all these totally daft things for the publicity, and really, he’s a very intelligent man who can make excellent movies.

    And “We will not sell the movie rights, not to you… especially not to you” is just fantastic.

  4. essell says:

    Hehehe, that is brilliant. I genuinely like him a lot more now, having watched that video.

    And for the record, he is a more interesting filmmaker than Michael Bay. But Clooney’s recent “social critic bullshit” has been good.

  5. tacticus says:

    Tax Credits,
    If the film loses money it gets a tax discount that can be palmed off to the people paying for it
    hence master Uwes flicks are there to lose money and be terrible

  6. James T says:

    Whoever’s pimping the Boll petition should show the Postal trailer to some of the more reactionary US elements; behold, an instantaeneous upward blast in anti-Boll sentiment!

    I would take the quote to mean that he’s casually come to accept that his movies are shit, but I don’t know if that’s actually the case at all — Boll’s a bit like those TV shows containing surgery footage, in that I take pains to avoid being in any way up-to-speed on them. The whole Producers-esque nature of his accounting suggests he has no illusions about the work he excretes, but you’d think he’d want to avoid making a public clown of himself, in case he accidentally attains a cult following and ends up with a ‘hit’.

    Springtime for Hitler, and Germanyyyyy…

    “Don’t be stupid, be a smarty, come and join the Nazi Party!”

  7. MeestaNob! says:

    I reckon that video was absolutely classic, and to be honest, it’s probably enough to stop me signing the petition.

    I’m on the fence here, I’m just hoping he doesn’t make a movie of anything I like.

  8. Kieron Gillen says:

    I admit, I find the video also amusing. It’s the WWE wrestler approach to PR applied to movie-making. He’s a Heel through and through.

    KG

  9. cullnean says:

    @KG

    would make the jurno’s he beat up in boxing matches babyfaces?

  10. Slappeh says:

    “I’m the only genius in the whole fucking business, goodbye.” – Classic lol

    I think I’m hes growing on me =P

  11. Optimaximal says:

    Tax Credits,
    If the film loses money it gets a tax discount that can be palmed off to the people paying for it
    hence master Uwes flicks are there to lose money and be terrible

    Not anymore. The german IRS closed off the tax loophole that allowed him to run with it…

  12. Alex McLarty says:

    It is a joke that whore master Michael Bay hasn’t been forcibly removed from film making and/or executed yet.

  13. Gurrah says:

    Great quote there James T!

  14. Phil says:

    Boll is a genius, at raising money by convincing relatively green investors of the economic opportunities in B and C grade movies (especially those tied to established franchises). He’s also a genius at scheduling shoots, getting big name actors to give him a day or four by simply filming around the timetables of bigger productions (check the cast list of BloodRayne, Ben Kingsley, Udo Kier and Meat Loaf, together again at last etc.)

    It’s just when he gets behind the camera that everything turns to fetid monkey brains and beetle vomit in a top hat.

    As a producer, with the self awareness to leave the director and script writer the hell alone, he’d kick ass.

  15. Zell says:

    Russell Crowe IS Thrall.

  16. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    He’s also a genius at scheduling shoots

    Hmmm…

    And one night, a courtyard shoot went so late that it ruined a wedding scheduled the next day. (That’s okay, Boll says, because “the bride was really fat and ugly.”)

  17. Pidesco says:

    I’m betting his movies make lots of money from video sales.

  18. Phil says:

    @Man Raised By Puffins – My point still stands.

    He improvised, dropped the scene and saved money. He damaged artistic integrity of the final film (which had the artistic integrity of grind house porn to begin with) but still, he got more film in the can without extending the shoot and spending more cash.

    The man saved money on actors but by paying, hourly, cheap Romanian prostitutes to play cheap Romanian prostitutes. That’s almost punk levels of ‘lets do the gig right here’ spirit.

    If he writes a guerrilla film making handbook, I’d read it. If he makes another film, I’d rather spend two hours ordering spaghetti by length than watch it.

  19. Phil says:

    Double post

  20. matte_k says:

    He’s losing badly, and he knows it. Between the “Raging Boll” stunt and that film, trying to get a “pro-Boll” petition going, smacks of someone on the back foot desperately trying to retain what little credibility he has left (if any). I applaud, in a way, his forthrightness in showing his anger and contempt towards his critics, as if he’s trying to convince us he doesn’t give a shit, but really, we know he’s hurting. Otherwise, he wouldn’t bother, he’d just keep making movies regardless of what people thought. If someone is dumb enough to give him the rights and the cash, he’ll make the movie. Hell, I would, if they handed me the dough and said “make a movie on this second rate videogame, we need to sell more of it!”

    Which is why Blizzard said no, because they know that whether he did a good job or not is irrelevant, people will criticise it just for being made by him, therefore its bad publicity for WoW in their eyes.

    Plus, if someone did make a WoW movie, it would probably be bad anyway. I still don’t get the obsession of making videogame movies, it’s almost saying “oh, this medium isn’t good enough to tell the story/create the experience for you to have, so if we put it in a film, that’s more credible and entertaining”. NO, it isn’t. I like my games as games, thankyouverymuch.

  21. Jochen Scheisse says:

    I hate his films but he’s a good celebrity. Also, Postal was comparably bearable. The downside was that after the film, Boll talked for about 30 minutes about what it is that makes the film politically important. Wasn’t even funny to derail his rants about the film’s tremendous importance and probable political impact, because he’s just way too arrogant in his rethorics to really let anything get to him.

    Previous post has a good point. The narrative structure of video games, where existent, does not translate very well into a movie script in most cases. The mediums just work differently. And VGs where plot is important can not be converted into a good movie without losing a lot IMO. Imagine Fallout with only one story line and next to no subplots.
    All in all I’m happy they did Pirates of the Carribean and not Monkey Island the Movie.

  22. Michael says:

    …gamers are the typical download guys, right? They don’t pay anything for movies, because they illegally download the movies.

    This is brilliant. No, seriously. He is talking about the people who cash out enough so that a billion dollar industry feeds off of them.

    Well, frankly I would expect him to say something like that. After his “boxing promotion” I list Boll among the most deplorable knaves to have ever walked the earth.

    A failed German artist who thinks he is a genius… lets just hope he doesn’t get to head any political parties. ;-)

  23. The Shed says:

    Huh, the petition finally broke 200k. Not bad.

    Heheh, thats the second awesome knock-back Boll has recieved, the one Kojima handed out was also sweet.

  24. Leeks! says:

    @tacticus

    On paper, all of Boll’s movies have been successes. Yes, they actually make money. In the case of Bloodrayne, I think it was somewhere in the $18m range.

    And, sadly, he’s getting better. In the Name of the King was just bad in a really average kind of way. I actually thought the epic failure of House of the Dead and Alone in the dark was hugely entertaining.

    A friend of mine recently interviewed him for the university paper, and he fully admitted that his “videogame films” were rote and cliche, though he’s recently been trying to make his characters more three dimensional. I think this is really too bad.

  25. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    @ Phil: I think our definition of ‘genius’ may differ a tad. That said, I can’t deny that Boll seems to have got his hustling down pat.

  26. horian says:

    wow that petition really stagnated. it’s been at ~200k for a few weeks now

  27. Dracko says:

    Boll is just about the only man who can do justice to WoW anyway.

    So much hate for the poor guy…

  28. Nahual says:

    Why would Blizzard even need to sell rights to anything WoW related, if they want to they could hire a real fantasy film director, like, say, i dunno, Peter Moore, maybe, and give him a bigger budget than the LoTR trilogy had ($270 mill for the three movies) with just 2 months worth of subscriptions, and retain all their IP in house. To suggest you’re going to attempt to buy rights to anything from them is hilarious, Boll could offer Blizzard everything he owns, both legs and his first born and it’s still pocket change for blizzard.

  29. drunkymonkey says:

    Legendary Pictures are producing the WoW film anyway.

  30. Dareos says:

    Best goddamn film Boll has ever made!

    maybe he will release this one in the cinemas next….

  31. Erlam says:

    “And one night, a courtyard shoot went so late that it ruined a wedding scheduled the next day. (That’s okay, Boll says, because “the bride was really fat and ugly.”)”

    Sheer. Awesome. Comedy.

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