Duke Nukem Not Never

By Alec Meer on April 30th, 2008 at 11:20 pm.

Something about parking bricks

Just a brief note on something we really should have mentioned a couple of days back – Shacknews have, they claim, actually seen Duke Nukem Forever in action. Like, with their eyes and stuff. The very scant report they gave had some calling shenanigans, but 3D Realms’ George Broussard later popped his head into the thick of it to offer some apparent corroboration.

All the detail on offer is this:

“We actually got to see the truth of Duke curator George Broussard’s many past claims, including environmental puzzles and interactivity, a host of finished weapons, the existence of an in-game forklift, and plenty of heads and arms being blown off. We both confidently agree that after seeing this demonstration, Duke Nukem Forever is looking great, and will easily stand apart from the crowd in both visual and gameplay styles.”

An in-game forklift! Stop the fricking presses!

I jest, of course. The info-embargo is understandable, and it’s good to hear more evidence that DNF is at last on its way, even if there’s nothing whatsoever to yet prove if and how it’s a triumph.

, .

38 Comments »

  1. a-scale says:

    Yawn. Eight years late to the game.

  2. RichPowers says:

    Just when you thought the hoax couldn’t get any more elaborate.

    Props, Shacknews and 3d Realms, you got us again :P

  3. Alex says:

    That’s the thing though – I don’t really care anymore.

  4. DosFreak says:

    “and it’s good to hear more evidence that DNF is at last on its way”

    Just…..stop. It’s like Jack Thompson news. All sound and fury signifying nothing.

    We’ll have Crysis 3 before we see DNF. Oh goody another DNF phrase. :rolleyes:

  5. Noc says:

    Actually, Duke Nukem Forever is an expansion for the previously released Duke Nukem United Nations, which was freely released but only if you’d bought the original Duke Nukem 3D between the months of April and August.

    Duke Nukem Forever will be free as well, but only on weekends and days beginning in “T.”

  6. po says:

    A forkilft??!!!!11!1!!???

    Yay! Originality! I will put this in #2 position on my must buy slot, right after Spore (subject to the announcement of something else coming out first).

  7. Zonderic says:

    I guess it should be interesting fighting aliens without armor. That hasn’t happened in a while.

  8. Alex says:

    You’ll even have finished weapons to fight with.

    Which is nice.

  9. Matu says:

    Didn’t Far Cry have forklifts? You couldn’t use them for tearing up trigens though, which was a shame.

  10. Alex says:

    Yeah, but even the actual weapons in Far Cry had a hard time of tearing up Trigens and those were of the finished variety too, if I remember correctly.

  11. Albides says:

    Eh. Duke Nukem is so…. 90s.

  12. araczynski says:

    i likewise cared 10 years ago maybe, now? whatever, i might be interested if there’s ever a demo.

  13. CryingTheAnnualKingo says:

    Gimme a break. When this game comes out every single one of you will give it a try.

  14. Noc says:

    It DOES have forklifts, after all.

  15. Alex says:

    Woah woah woah..! Everyone calm down – the article mentions a forklift, one forklift.. this is how those internet hypes get started.

    Gimme a break. When this game comes out every single one of you will give it a try.

    That’s quite an astute observation. After the seemingly endless faffery surrounding this game the last ten years, you know what – we probably will!

  16. Saul says:

    More than likely I will give it a whirl, if and when it does finally arrive. I will say one thing, though: it’d better be GODDAMN good.

  17. Albides says:

    “Gimme a break. When this game comes out every single one of you will give it a try.”

    No. Sorry. I was impressed back in 96 when a few politically incorrect jokes and some satirical male chauvinism in a first person shooter were bold and fresh. Even after that, I still kind of enjoyed Redneck Rampage and Shadow Warrior. But I can’t help but feel this new game has nothing to offer me but a novelty that’s no longer all that novel.

  18. Flint says:

    Of course, there might be an actually enjoyable game that doesn’t rely solely on the jokes and chauvinism, like in DN3D’s case.

    I’m not really holding my breath, I’ve stopped anticipating for this a long time ago, but it’s still intriguing to see what’s actually coming out. If it comes out. But with the recent teaser and now this, there seems to be some tiny indication that maybe one day we’ll see something.

  19. Stew says:

    This ain’t a triumph
    I’m making a note here, epic fail.
    It’s hard to over-state my lack of caring.
    Duke Nukem Forever
    You do what you can, it’s not enough
    Eleven years is just too long
    And our enthus’asm’s dead.
    But there’s no point crying ’til your beta-tests crash
    You just keep on trying ’til you run out of cash
    So the programmers get paid
    And the fans never get laid
    O’er a game that you call
    Still Alive

    Sorry… I’m so sorry.

  20. Saflo says:

    A for effort.

  21. Duoae says:

    And yet everyone who cares so little just has to post about it – going to elaborate lengths to write little anti-songs based around (dare i guess?) their most favourite recent games?

    If people don’t care then they shouldn’t post about it. It goes against the definition of apathy. :)

  22. Malagate says:

    “Of course, there might be an actually enjoyable game that doesn’t rely solely on the jokes and chauvinism, like in DN3D’s case.”

    My thoughts exactly, what really made DN3D wasn’t the jokes and the “naughty” bits, but the frankly awesome level design, environment interactivity (good for its time, still better than in many newer games) and of course the original weapon and item designs. Many people seem to forget all those cool little bits and just focus on “I’m here to kick ass and chew gum, and I’m all out of gum” and “Shake it baby”, which was frankly not a large part of the game.

    As long as they bring it out before we all die and as long as they have good level designs then I’ll be interested. Sounds a lot better to me than being “generic space marine 22b” and marching through dark corridors ranging from gunmetal gray to muddy brown…yet again.

  23. Crispy says:

    People need to stop hyping this game and just let it release to faint approval, instead of epic dismissal.

  24. Irish Al says:

    And yet, and yet …

    I’ve been playing the OpenGL ports of Duke and Shadow Warrior recently, and the reason is their playability, simplicity in today’s terms, and immediacy. And ganseyloads of secrets and easter eggs. If DNF can bring an updated version of that old-school FPS vibe then I’ll be happy.

  25. Alex says:

    If people don’t care then they shouldn’t post about it. It goes against the definition of apathy.

    This is the internet. Your Earthly concepts, like ‘apathy’ and ‘not posting’, do not exist here.

  26. Nick says:

    “They triiied to kill him with a forklift….”

    Sorry, MST3k reference that probably noone will get.

    =(

    Anyway, in game forklifts are great, they were the best part of Battlefield 2: Special forces. You could have a guy riding on the forks! How great is that? I’ll tell you. Very great.

  27. Chaz says:

    I’ve always wanted an in game kick stool.

    Can’t quite make the jump to the top of that big crate? That ledge just frustratingly out of reach? Then the in game kick stool is your friend.

  28. Bas says:

    I hope this game flops, and 3DRealms goes bankrupt. That’ll teach them not to spend 11 years on a game. I’m surprised any publisher would still give them money at the 5 year mark.

  29. Dinger says:

    Bas, where’s your gratitude? Duke Nukem Forever has provided us with years of amusement. I’ll be sad when the game is released and the fun ends.

  30. Kadayi says:

    I agree with Abides to a degree . I think the real problem DNF faces is not so much whether it’s a decent shooter (I’m sure it will be reasonable), but whether the humourous side to is still funny and not risibly embarassing “It’s a manpig, and he’s dressed as a police man!!!, you geddit you geddit?” Certainly I don’t expect it to be po faced, and from what we’ve seen in the teaser that’s clearly not the case, but after 10 years of other companies making better parodies (GTA series) of Americana, DNF might be out of step.

  31. Doug F says:

    people! clearly the forklift is mentioned to reassure us that the developer is keeping the Crate Review System in mind as they develop the game. We all know that the presence of crates in the game is inevitable, but 3D Realms featured the forklift to reassure us that they were taking such things seriously. If there are pallets as well, this has a strong chance of being my GoTY.

  32. Alex says:

    ..whether the humourous side to is still funny and not risibly embarassing “It’s a manpig, and he’s dressed as a police man!!!, you geddit you geddit?” Certainly I don’t expect it to be po faced, and from what we’ve seen in the teaser that’s clearly not the case, but after 10 years of other companies making better parodies (GTA series) of Americana, DNF might be out of step

    They might go all ironic on us.. “we know the pigman joke was lame even back then, look at us doing it anyway.. woo.. hoo..”.. that would be truly frightening.

  33. Kadayi says:

    It would be like watching your Dad dancing at a wedding reception disco frightening tbh…

  34. Jochen Scheisse says:

    The forklift could also be a reference to THIS!
    If you don’t know the video, it will definitely help you realize the potential of forklift action in FPS. Also, don’t drink while watching.

  35. Kelduum says:

    I can exclusively reveal that there are, in fact, in-game forklifts in Grand Theft Auto IV!

    Plus, theres more than one, and you can drive them around – there are a load of them on Happiness Island, next to one of the warehouses.

    Not PC-related (yet), but there are definitely other options for your in-game forkliftery!

  36. Zaph says:

    Jochen, I am forever grateful for that link. I larfed and I larfed!
    Beautiful.

  37. Anonymous says:

    Man they are always waiting so long, while their stocks go down incredibly, no forgetting nobody will have the computer good enough to play it if they ever get to a point where they release it :S

  38. Psychopomp says:

    Oh god, I lol’d