By Kieron Gillen on May 19th, 2008 at 10:50 am.
Simple folks us, and we don’t get any simpler than we are on Monday morning. Hence: War Twat. OddBob dropped us a line to note that my favourite retro-remake site (er) Retro Remakes has posted his Jeff-Minter-influenced shooter (i.e. English provincial surrealism involving juxtaposing swearing, fluffy ungulates and the sort of strobe effects that’ll induce an epileptic fit, even if viewed through a brick wall). Except this is a Minter shooter with the finese removed and the volume turned to Bruce Forsyth screaming with the force of a nuclear explosion. Almost literally unplayable, but don’t let that stop you. I can just about top a minute, at best, before submitting to the wall of pulsing death. Hint: If you see a cloud, shoot it, as quickly as you can.
19/05/2008 at 11:15 Seniath says:
My eyes… the goggles, they do nothing.
I’m topping out at about 20 seconds. Clearly, I need more tea.
(Woo, 40 seconds!)
19/05/2008 at 11:32 treeoflife says:
I hit a minute before realising the true horrors of war. Even that 600×192 image above brings back terrible memories of moments gone by.
19/05/2008 at 11:51 Jochen Scheisse says:
I gt a brucey bonus at 2:30, then died. Flying small circles shooting will shower everything with that awesome shot of yours as well as reduce the framerate to ~5 a second, so you can easily avoid the few aimed shots.
19/05/2008 at 12:21 itsallcrap says:
I got a brucey bonus almost straight away, and then died almost immediately afterwards.
It’s extremely hard to play this secretly at work.
19/05/2008 at 12:23 roBurky says:
My god! I don’t think there has been a game that can reduce me to laughter and screaming within 13 seconds before.
19/05/2008 at 12:45 Nallen says:
Lets me be the first to say wut?
Also, it can not be unseen.
19/05/2008 at 12:54 Jonathan says:
Damn, I think Stalin vs Martians just lost the name of the year trophy.
19/05/2008 at 13:18 MeestaNob! says:
I don’t feel ashamed saying “I have no idea what is going on” when in reference to this.
Fun, for a few moments.
19/05/2008 at 13:24 James T says:
Psh, this is a second-stringer compared to FUCK SPACE.
19/05/2008 at 13:30 schizoslayer says:
Pfah I sent Gillen a link to this last week and he ignored it!
I then got distracted by Go Beryllium! and promptly forgot all about WAR TWAT.
19/05/2008 at 13:30 Arsewisely says:
And I thought I felt like crap before…
Don’t play this with a raging cold.
19/05/2008 at 14:09 Dead Fish says:
A game that lets you appreciate every framerate drop you can get.
19/05/2008 at 14:37 Dinger says:
Oh man. See, if you can make a videogame equivalent of the most unwanted music, it’s an art form, one that can be abused at that.
Schizoslayer: You did it wrong. Next time change your reply-to address to “Peter Molyneux”. I understand impersonating him works every time.
19/05/2008 at 17:27 McCool says:
For some reason, this game doesn’t work on my PC. I get the same error I get with other games I guess using the same engine, where the windows constantly makes the “error” noise as fast as it possibly can when I try to play it. Gutted.
19/05/2008 at 18:47 gnome says:
I feel already stigmatized, but I frankly love it. Despite the odd frame rate drop that is…
19/05/2008 at 21:14 Rob says:
@Dinger
I hate you so much right now … my ears … my poor ears …
19/05/2008 at 21:47 Jonathan says:
Reply to Dinger
I just audiosurfed the Most Unwanted Song and if I ever find you I will kill you. Dang I need a liedown.
19/05/2008 at 22:54 Lunaran says:
I played this sitting five feet away and squinting but the damage is still done. I think it gave me epilepsy.
20/05/2008 at 17:27 The Shed says:
Does the title remind anyone of Spaced’s “War Bastard”?
EDIT: Also, I love this game.
21/05/2008 at 11:55 rb_lestr says:
Played this all night last night.
No joke.
Game of the year.
My topscore is like 670, whats yours?
21/05/2008 at 12:13 rb_lestr says:
UPDATE:
1300
26/05/2008 at 22:30 Andrew Farrell says:
1845, 3:01 (also I salute the fact that they’ve got an ‘hours’ counter on the highscore line), and no doubt years of PTSD.