Simple folks us, and we don’t get any simpler than we are on Monday morning. Hence: War Twat. OddBob dropped us a line to note that my favourite retro-remake site (er) Retro Remakes has posted his Jeff-Minter-influenced shooter (i.e. English provincial surrealism involving juxtaposing swearing, fluffy ungulates and the sort of strobe effects that’ll induce an epileptic fit, even if viewed through a brick wall). Except this is a Minter shooter with the finese removed and the volume turned to Bruce Forsyth screaming with the force of a nuclear explosion. Almost literally unplayable, but don’t let that stop you. I can just about top a minute, at best, before submitting to the wall of pulsing death. Hint: If you see a cloud, shoot it, as quickly as you can.
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My eyes… the goggles, they do nothing.
I’m topping out at about 20 seconds. Clearly, I need more tea.
(Woo, 40 seconds!)
I hit a minute before realising the true horrors of war. Even that 600×192 image above brings back terrible memories of moments gone by.
I gt a brucey bonus at 2:30, then died. Flying small circles shooting will shower everything with that awesome shot of yours as well as reduce the framerate to ~5 a second, so you can easily avoid the few aimed shots.
I got a brucey bonus almost straight away, and then died almost immediately afterwards.
It’s extremely hard to play this secretly at work.
My god! I don’t think there has been a game that can reduce me to laughter and screaming within 13 seconds before.
Lets me be the first to say wut?
Also, it can not be unseen.
Damn, I think Stalin vs Martians just lost the name of the year trophy.
I don’t feel ashamed saying “I have no idea what is going on” when in reference to this.
Fun, for a few moments.
Psh, this is a second-stringer compared to FUCK SPACE.
Pfah I sent Gillen a link to this last week and he ignored it!
I then got distracted by Go Beryllium! and promptly forgot all about WAR TWAT.
And I thought I felt like crap before…
Don’t play this with a raging cold.
A game that lets you appreciate every framerate drop you can get.
Oh man. See, if you can make a videogame equivalent of the most unwanted music, it’s an art form, one that can be abused at that.
Schizoslayer: You did it wrong. Next time change your reply-to address to “Peter Molyneux”. I understand impersonating him works every time.
For some reason, this game doesn’t work on my PC. I get the same error I get with other games I guess using the same engine, where the windows constantly makes the “error” noise as fast as it possibly can when I try to play it. Gutted.
I feel already stigmatized, but I frankly love it. Despite the odd frame rate drop that is…
@Dinger
I hate you so much right now … my ears … my poor ears …
Reply to Dinger
I just audiosurfed the Most Unwanted Song and if I ever find you I will kill you. Dang I need a liedown.
I played this sitting five feet away and squinting but the damage is still done. I think it gave me epilepsy.
Does the title remind anyone of Spaced’s “War Bastard”?
EDIT: Also, I love this game.
Played this all night last night.
No joke.
Game of the year.
My topscore is like 670, whats yours?
UPDATE:
1300
1845, 3:01 (also I salute the fact that they’ve got an ‘hours’ counter on the highscore line), and no doubt years of PTSD.