Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Let Slip the Dogs of War Twat

Posted by Kieron Gillen on May 19th, 2008 at 10:50 am.

Share:

You can't not link to a shooter called War Twat, y'know...

Simple folks us, and we don’t get any simpler than we are on Monday morning. Hence: War Twat. OddBob dropped us a line to note that my favourite retro-remake site (er) Retro Remakes has posted his Jeff-Minter-influenced shooter (i.e. English provincial surrealism involving juxtaposing swearing, fluffy ungulates and the sort of strobe effects that’ll induce an epileptic fit, even if viewed through a brick wall). Except this is a Minter shooter with the finese removed and the volume turned to Bruce Forsyth screaming with the force of a nuclear explosion. Almost literally unplayable, but don’t let that stop you. I can just about top a minute, at best, before submitting to the wall of pulsing death. Hint: If you see a cloud, shoot it, as quickly as you can.

__________________


Related Stories:

__________________

« The Sunday Papers | Monday Morning Stoopids »

, , , .

22 Comments »

  1. Seniath says:

    My eyes… the goggles, they do nothing.

    I’m topping out at about 20 seconds. Clearly, I need more tea.

    (Woo, 40 seconds!)

  2. treeoflife says:

    I hit a minute before realising the true horrors of war. Even that 600×192 image above brings back terrible memories of moments gone by.

  3. Jochen Scheisse says:

    I gt a brucey bonus at 2:30, then died. Flying small circles shooting will shower everything with that awesome shot of yours as well as reduce the framerate to ~5 a second, so you can easily avoid the few aimed shots.

  4. itsallcrap says:

    I got a brucey bonus almost straight away, and then died almost immediately afterwards.

    It’s extremely hard to play this secretly at work.

  5. roBurky says:

    My god! I don’t think there has been a game that can reduce me to laughter and screaming within 13 seconds before.

  6. Nallen says:

    Lets me be the first to say wut?

    Also, it can not be unseen.

  7. Jonathan says:

    Damn, I think Stalin vs Martians just lost the name of the year trophy.

  8. MeestaNob! says:

    I don’t feel ashamed saying “I have no idea what is going on” when in reference to this.

    Fun, for a few moments.

  9. James T says:

    Damn, I think Stalin vs Martians just lost the name of the year trophy.

    Psh, this is a second-stringer compared to FUCK SPACE.

  10. schizoslayer says:

    Pfah I sent Gillen a link to this last week and he ignored it!

    I then got distracted by Go Beryllium! and promptly forgot all about WAR TWAT.

  11. Arsewisely says:

    And I thought I felt like crap before…

    Don’t play this with a raging cold.

  12. Dead Fish says:

    A game that lets you appreciate every framerate drop you can get.

  13. Dinger says:

    Oh man. See, if you can make a videogame equivalent of the most unwanted music, it’s an art form, one that can be abused at that.

    Schizoslayer: You did it wrong. Next time change your reply-to address to “Peter Molyneux”. I understand impersonating him works every time.

  14. McCool says:

    For some reason, this game doesn’t work on my PC. I get the same error I get with other games I guess using the same engine, where the windows constantly makes the “error” noise as fast as it possibly can when I try to play it. Gutted.

  15. gnome says:

    I feel already stigmatized, but I frankly love it. Despite the odd frame rate drop that is…

  16. Rob says:

    @Dinger

    I hate you so much right now … my ears … my poor ears …

  17. Jonathan says:

    Reply to Dinger
    I just audiosurfed the Most Unwanted Song and if I ever find you I will kill you. Dang I need a liedown.

  18. Lunaran says:

    I played this sitting five feet away and squinting but the damage is still done. I think it gave me epilepsy.

  19. The Shed says:

    Does the title remind anyone of Spaced’s “War Bastard”?

    EDIT: Also, I love this game.

  20. rb_lestr says:

    Played this all night last night.
    No joke.

    Game of the year.
    My topscore is like 670, whats yours?

  21. rb_lestr says:

    UPDATE:
    1300

  22. Andrew Farrell says:

    1845, 3:01 (also I salute the fact that they’ve got an ‘hours’ counter on the highscore line), and no doubt years of PTSD.

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

GamersGate has loads of PC games.

Respond to our gibber

  • Pantsman : “Except then success in combat would depend on the player's skill, rather than that of his character, which would rather defeat the purpose of an ...” on Not Dragon Age: SWTOR Reveals
  • Weylund : “It involved more than that - the way you fought, the strikes and parries, were all keyed into your movements. My hatred of various RPG ...” on Not Dragon Age: SWTOR Reveals
  • sinister agent : “Oh, and I have been enjoying Mass Effect a fair bit since I got it a few weeks ago. It's not usually the sort of ...” on The RPS Bargain Bucket: Cracking
  • LewieP : “People with concerns about the inventory system for ME2. Someone from Bioware said basically this to me "We know exactly what was wrong with it ...” on The RPS Bargain Bucket: Cracking
  • Will : “PC Gamer gave Lords of Magic a 40% score in a half-column paragraph, however I LOVED THE PANTS off that game, although I was quite ...” on The RPS Bargain Bucket: Cracking

Browse the archive

Buy classic PC games from Good Old Games, please.