For Pac-Man I Pick Bruce Willis

By John Walker on May 23rd, 2008 at 5:07 pm.

Pick a game to make into a movie, go on.

SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE

You picked Pac-Man, didn’t you?! I influenced your thoughts. Well, your dreams are coming true. As batshit crazy as it may seem, someone is not only going to make a Pac-Man movie, but also spend a considerable amount of money doing it.

MCV reports that Crystal Sky Pictures (they behind Bratz and Ghost Rider – both narrowly missing Oscars) are to be injected with $200m by Grovsenor Park, which will be used to make five movies. One of these will be Castlevania, another will be a sequel to Hard Boiled (which is what Stranglehold was supposed to be, so who knows what’s happening there), and another is, well, Pac-Man.

If you’re thinking this is an old story (by which you don’t mean yesterday, smart-arse), you’re right. For instance, here’s the exact same news story from December 2005, except without the bit where someone madly gives them a fifth of a billion dollars.

Then back in May 2006, in response to the news Kotaku posted the video below (which I’m including here because I found it before I spotted they did it too, and I JUST DON’T CARE).

So I suppose we can look forward to hearing this same story again in 2010, except that time with Grovsenor Park asking if they can have their two hundred million dollars back please.

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25 Comments »

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  1. Bas says:

    I pick Adam West, because his awesome campness should suit the role of a Pac-Man movie.

  2. Al3xand3r says:

    Please spend all of that money for the Castlevania movie. in order to make it decent. Pretty please?

    For Pacman you can just show the youtube video.

    For the Hard Boiled sequel just have a guy play through the game LIVE (and hype the innovative experience as the movie can be different every time. And the action hero may actually die!)

    But PLEASE make the Castlevania movie SOTN GOOD…

  3. scott says:

    Pac Man has to be played by Nicholas Cage! There is no other logical, reasonable choice. Except Ben Kingsley, of course. Dood can play anything.

  4. Jonathan says:

    $200 million dollars.
    $200 million dollars.
    $200 million dollars.

    In a hundred years mankind will have a lot of explaining to do. Hell westerners really oughta explain to Africa why this is more important than malaria, aids and exploring planets beyond our own solar system.

  5. Nick says:

    Sequel to Hard Boiled made outside of HK.. hmm. No?

  6. Poke says:

    I agree with the Nicholas Cage notion. I thought about it before i had even read scott’s comment. It has to be done.

  7. Andy Johnson says:

    Oh, please leave Hard Boiled alone…

    Nobody but Woo should be allowed to even think about touching it.

  8. Phil says:

    Matt Lucas painted yellow? With Dawn French as Mrs Pacman?

  9. Citizen Parker says:

    Too bad the Warren Ellis Castlevania isn’t getting some of that money, unless I’m mistaking something…

  10. cliffski says:

    games are not films
    films are not games

    please keep these things separate.

    Seriously… PACMAN?
    This has to be a joke,

  11. alphaxion says:

    Nooooooooo

    people need to stop giving nicolas cage work so that he can bugger off and leave us alone!

  12. Down Rodeo says:

    Someone somewhere is taking the piss. I mean, RPS wouldn’t try to trick us like this, would you? What’s the occasion?

  13. dhex says:

    please keep these things separate.

    riddick was pretty damn good, actually.

    beyond that, you’re probably right.

  14. scott says:

    I’m still waiting for the Hollywood big shots to option my Donkey Kong script. It kicks ass I swear!

  15. Jezebeau says:

    I picked Monkey Island.

  16. Lucky Main Street says:

    Is Uwe Boll directing any of this?

  17. MPK says:

    Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!Uwe Boll!

  18. CannedLizard says:

    Ahh, seen that video before, but it’s still gold.

    “Some kind of man, some kind of…PAC man….”

  19. Pod says:

    I can’t believe you made me think of Pac-Man! How did you do it? Was it imagic? Will you be changing your name?
    Derren Walker?
    John Brown?
    Hmm?

  20. Nick says:

    I could see them doing an animated film based on Pac-LAND perhaps, but Pac-man? Bleh.

  21. Iain says:

    Did you hear that?

    That was the sound of the Lumière Brothers turning in their grave.

  22. The Shed says:

    That video was fucking sweet.

    “Except Ben Kingsley, of course. Dood can play anything.”

    I’m afraid that throne has already been passed on. Christian Bale. Any part- he can pull it off.

    The Pac-Man movie. AKA “Sin City 2: Adventures of That Yellow Bastard”. That… That would actually be really scary.

  23. Kim says:

    Pacman can be played by Julia Roberts and her gigantic toothy maw.

  24. Saflo says:

    I loved her as the cacodemon in Doom 3.