Diablo 3 Is Certain, Possibly, Or Not

By John Walker on June 4th, 2008 at 7:57 pm.

Drag this one out again, eh?

Those vague rumours and wispy mistruths that spread across the internet every day… well, they’re the great, aren’t they? Today’s whispered perhapsment: New Diablo 3 under development rumblings.

The reason I like this rumour so much is because it’s so impossibly vague, and yet here I am writing it to fan the flames. Why? Because I believe that once a consensus is reached it’s very hard to stop it from being true. I mean, Clinton’s not resigned, Obama claims victory, and the media goes along with it before the votes are counted. So it’s true, isn’t it? Let’s all keep stating that Diablo 3 is definitely being developed, and one day Blizzard will just discover they’ve been unwittingly making the game for months. This is Science, people. The rumour’s source:

Via Blues, according to Blizzplanet, who have been shot down recently for other Diablo 3 claims, a translation of the German PC Action’s next ish blurb. You think that’s vague? Read the translation:

“We found out some secret information about a much awaited game, from a very well known game developer, whom we can’t name. Sounds extremely important, doesn’t it? Let’s say: Pure thought about it makes our bedsheets wet. Got any ideas? Post them in the comments. Even if the hell froze and cows gave beer – we would spill nothing out!”

That’s right. A website that last month printed false rumours about Diablo 3 has printed rumours based on a next ish blurb from a German magazine that says it’s got a story about a big game from a famous developer (that makes them wee (or worse) in their beds) that might, but possibly might not, have something to do with cows and hell.

It’s certain! Pre-order your copy now!

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43 Comments »

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  1. Zuba says:

    Give it some time… what do you think will be the new product being officially announced and blitzed at the Blizzcon 08? It’s too soon for them to announce the next WOW expansion with the current one in development still a little ways off. I assumed it as fact when they announced and Blizzcon and re-acquired the Diablo 3 domain around the same time frame. I could be wrong, but until Blizzcon 08, I’m just as right as anyone else.

  2. Heliocentricity says:

    Dont get me wrong, diablo was fun. But less of a damn about diablo 3 i could not give. Especialy after i have seen the direction they have took starcraft 2(which i was previously excited about).

    Although, i’d love a high res startcraft 1, any planescape widescreen like mods for starcraft?

    Anyway, WOW is essentialy a diablo mmo, will they really tred on their own toes?

  3. Frans Coehoorn says:

    End of this month, we know more. Trust me.

  4. Feet says:

    Trust him! I certainly do!

    GO SCIENCE.

  5. Meow says:

    The game insinuated here is not Diablo 3, but the same game PC Gamer US will be revealing in August: System Shock 3.

    And as of last night, Obama does have enough delegates.

  6. Fumarole says:

    Don’t be silly, we all know it’s another Lost Vikings game.

  7. Lunaran says:

    Consensus as truth is not science. The word they have for that is ‘history.’

  8. Glycerine says:

    What everybody seems to have missed this time around, is that Blizzard just registered the BalefulBovineBreweryTycoon.com domain – who needs old franchises when you have whole new cash (or beer!) cows just waiting to be milked?

    Dodgey source it may seem, but this one’s dead on the money…just wait.

  9. Galbrezu says:

    Should really start the rumour here that Diablo 3 is going to be an MMO too.

    As an addition to your rumours will become true theory, of course. :P

  10. Meat Circus says:

    MY NAME IS ADAHN.

  11. PaulMorel says:

    Wow, that’s a pretty big blogging faux pas, inserting political opinion into a blog post at a gaming site.

    Actually, I am kind of offended. I come to gaming blogs to get away from the real world. Why would you do this to me? Why? :/

    Anyway, I think you should edit the post to get rid of whatever message you are trying to get across. imho it’s a pretty big no-no to reference controversial real-world topics in themed blogs. … but whatever…

    … and also, isn’t this blog based in the UK?

  12. Meat Circus says:

    @PaulMorel:

    Hillary-hating reaches beyond borders.

  13. John Walker says:

    It fairly definitely wasn’t an opinion. It was a throwaway statement that the numbers still aren’t final, but the media is acting on what’s inevitably going to be the case. Just a topical example. (Now edited for accuracy).

    And yes, RPS is based in the UK, but we have access to the news from the colonies through our telegraph machine.

    Want my opinion? No? Oh. Woo! Obama! There, you got it.

    EDIT: Oh, this seems so deliciously (in)appropriate now:

  14. James says:

    Um, just because it’s based in the UK doesn’t mean it isn’t read outside of the UK. And be it a good thing or not, American politics affects most of the world to some degree.

    And since when was it a blogging faux pas? I go to blogs for opinionated writing.

    Anyway, I missed out on the whole Diablo thing. The closest I got was multiplayer Dungeon Siege at university over a LAN.
    I’d welcome Diablo 3, especially if it’d run ok on my Macbook :)

  15. SwiftRanger says:

    A game of cows… oh well, we really need a second Beasts & Bumpkins game alright. The first one sorta featured cows from hell (exploding ones at least).

  16. SenatorPalpatine says:

    It is a slight blogging faux pas to throw in random political stuff there. I really don’t see the analogy. It’s a pretty bad comparison. The fact is Obama has been leading in delegates by quite a lot, and it would have taken a miracle for Clinton to win it now. Now Obama has a definitive majority of delegates, so unless a bunch of superdelegates switch to Clinton, it really is over.

  17. Acosta says:

    Why, in the name of heaven, would Blizzard, of all companies, need to say anything about Diablo 3 the year they launch Starcraft 2 and a new and important expansion for WoW. Blizzard?! It is a miracle they have two games announced.

    Is it confirmed that the exclusive of PCG is System Shock 3? Funny it takes a succesful “spiritual sequel” to remind the company holding the original IP that they actually have it and can do games with it. Can anyone ask Peter Molyneux if he would make a spiritual sequel of Syndicate, please?

    I really hope Doug Church is in charge of SS 3 if it’s finally confirmed.

  18. Meow says:

    I didn’t see it as political. But it was a clumsy topical reference, even post-edit.

    “Before the votes are counted”? The primary is over and all precincts have reported.

    You can’t really “count” superdelegates unless you’re really holding out for the official count of all delegates at the party’s convention several months from now.

    So what is there left to count? And the media didn’t “go along” with Obama claiming victory, they declared it on the basis of publicly-declared superdelegates before he gave his speech last night.

  19. Frans Coehoorn says:

    Politics and games, does it mix? Certain, Possibily… Or not. :P

    (I don’t mind though.)

  20. steve says:

    It would be bigger news if Blizzard wasn’t working on Diablo 3.

  21. John Walker says:

    Lordy lawks, it was a clumsy analogy. Do move on!

  22. tackle says:

    It’s not D3!
    They’re working on the sequel to Stunt Island!
    “Quiet on the set… speed… and, action!”

  23. batak says:

    Diablo 3 is certain. One of my best friends worked for Blizzard and got to see some pictures for it. The secret projectname for this is Hydra. There’ll be a new class in the game called Witchdoctor (focuses on damage over time). It’ll be announced this year, and be released next year.

    and yearh yearh… I know you probably wont believe me.

  24. Riotpoll says:

    @Heliocentricity; if WoW was anything like Diablo I might play it ;-).

    And, I expect Blizzard will make Diablo 3, if only to further line their already solid gold pockets!

  25. Saflo says:

    My friend’s uncle’s neighbor’s ex-wife shops at the same grocery store as the junior data systems analyst in Blizzard’s accounts payable department, and HE says that Diablo 3 is definitely being considered as a possible future project.

  26. Nick says:

    Oh no, not another Faux Pas!

    Three more and you’ll have to shut the site down =(

  27. RichPowers says:

    Wait, you’re telling me RPS is based in the UK!? And here I was, thinking that an unusually high number of Anglophiles posted here, using the Queen’s English out of enjoyment more than anything. ;)

  28. The_B says:

    So, Piracy/Oblivion/US Politics, eh?

  29. Dean says:

    Blizzcon 2008 Keynote:

    Rock N’ Roll Racin’ 2

  30. wcaypahwat says:

    People tease me because I speak english, not american. I live in Australia. Go figure.

    In any case, the truth behind these rumours is that Blizzard is making the next premium module for NWN2, in addition to being in the planning stages for the next Worms game.

  31. Stick says:

    This is Science, people.

    … sounds more like Magic According To Schrödinger to me, not that I’m complaining. (Oh, hey, I just got MC’s “Adahn” reference. Heh.)

    Also: Is Diablo 3 really cause for loss of control over bodily functions? Didn’t they already refine all the game’s relevant stuff and put it in some slightly well-known product?

  32. rustdragon says:

    I’m not looking forward to Diablo 3. Story wise how many times do you have to kill Diablo before it stops making sense. If they do make it I feel so sorry for my mouse…

  33. JJ says:

    So, who started the rumors about Beyond Good & Evil 2?
    And could we please start some rumors about Grim Fandango 2 :-)

  34. Frans Coehoorn says:

    Yeah, Grim Fandango II will be on the Wii. Really! But the old LucasArts adventure classics cannot be ported to the Nintendo DS because of the disc space and its shape.

    Uhuh. Really.

  35. John Walker says:

    We’re the new Surfing Girls.

  36. davidAlpha says:

    “Rock N’ Roll Racin’ 2″

    that would be infinity awesome

  37. Tak says:

    This game is nothing compared to Starcraft 2!

  38. Xristafer says:

    Damn… I had my heart set on Rock & Roll Racing II.

    Ugh… Beaten!

  39. Nate says:

    The vagina thing (“just deep and tight enough”) was okay and a passing reference to US politics is Faux Pas: Taboo of the Web?

  40. Kieron Gillen says:

    My Dad always said, avoid debates about politics and religion. The shape of vaginas is fine.

    Apparently.

    KG

  41. Nick says:

    Vaginas can’t be a blogging faux pas, at least a third of the internet would collapse.

  42. Jochen Scheisse says:

    I bet if there will be a 3rd installation of the series, it will be the grittiest, darkest game we have ever seen from Blizzard. Simple reason is they will need to make obvious why they didn’t set it in the Warcraft setting. And it would be stupid to make their 2 fantasy settings totally samey, because Diablo would lose that popularity race.

  43. SwiftRanger says:

    Diablo 1 is the grittiest and darkest game of Blizzard. I doubt they’ll have the guts to go back to that theme. Diablo II was very good but in terms of atmosphere it wasn’t as spine-chilling as Diablo 1.