By Jim Rossignol on June 11th, 2008 at 7:43 am.
We know how much you love to conquer the universe. So with that in mind we’re delighted to be able to give away five copies of the excellent real-time interstellar space war strategy, Sins Of A Solar Empire. As you’ll recall from our previous discussions, this is a game that we’d definitely recommend people buying, so we’d triply recommend entering a competition to win a copy. Honestly, you might as well click through to the details.
Here’s the question: What is the best line of dialogue ever to be uttered in a science fiction capacity? This means it must be a line from a science fiction movie, TV-show, or videogame. You must reference your source. The five best lines will win copies of the game. One entry per person.
Send your answers here, and DO NOT forget to include your postal address. Compo rules are here.
Here’s a reminder of Sins’ space action joy. Marvel at the the long zoom:
11/06/2008 at 07:53 The_Archetype says:
No written science-fiction?
If you were looking at literature I might actually have a shot at this, but if you’re going to limit it to TV/cinema/games, I’ve honestly got nothing.
11/06/2008 at 08:08 NewGuy says:
In unrelated news, Psi-Ops is now available for download at Fileplanet:
http://www.fileplanet.com/187537/180000/fileinfo/Psi-Ops:-The-Mindgate-Conspiracy-(Free-Game)
11/06/2008 at 08:17 Freelancepolice says:
I would enter with the classic indiana jones 4 line “the space between spaces”
but I don’t want to publicize the film any more than I already have
11/06/2008 at 08:23 Pace says:
Oh this should be good. Excellent contest idea!
11/06/2008 at 08:37 theapologist says:
Sounds great. Hmmm…a reason to dig out lots of DVDs tonight. Yay!
Is there a closing date we should know about?
11/06/2008 at 08:49 Tacticus says:
Gah sif not include books
11/06/2008 at 08:52 Mike says:
Cool contest idea! I love these compos :)
11/06/2008 at 09:20 Naurgul says:
I’d think it includes books, since the question is “What is the best line of dialogue ever to be uttered in a science fiction capacity?”. In any case, a video-game quote seems a lot more appropriate since this is a gaming website and all.
Edit: Damn, I just realised I forgot to include a name with the address. :/ I wonder if I should send a second message now or just forget about it.
11/06/2008 at 09:21 fearian says:
I suggest we open up the comments the the blindingly obvious answers just to get them out the way.
I’ll start off with ‘their comming out of the goddamn walls’ and ‘I can’t let you do that dave’.
oh and any star trek reference.
11/06/2008 at 09:27 Okami says:
“All your base..”
11/06/2008 at 10:04 Nuyan says:
“What a shame.”
Or isn’t that science-fiction enough?
11/06/2008 at 10:05 RiptoR says:
Only 1 line? Or is a short dialog between peeps also allowed?
11/06/2008 at 10:05 MisterBritish says:
What a shame.
11/06/2008 at 10:07 akbar says:
“Houston, we have a problem…”
Oh, wait. Science fiction…
11/06/2008 at 10:09 nihohit says:
deadline?
also – books?
11/06/2008 at 10:11 Albides says:
I’d think “Get away from her you bitch FWOOOSH!” would be a bit too obvious too.
11/06/2008 at 10:14 Babs says:
Hmmm, DarkStar. There’s just so many…
11/06/2008 at 10:25 Yargh says:
Damn, now I’m going to have to locate Spaceballs and Porn Wars on the interweb and trawl them for ridiculous lines (inadvertent one for the second title naturally)
11/06/2008 at 10:39 Jim Rossignol says:
I’ll allow books and comics.
11/06/2008 at 10:41 man says:
Kids – never give your address to strange men on the internet, particularly if their privacy pollicy is so private that they won’t tell you it.
11/06/2008 at 10:48 Rosti says:
Is there a deadline on this, or do you have a mysterious list of 5 lines you’re waiting to turn up for victory? Either way, gives me something to mull over whilst picnicking.
11/06/2008 at 10:51 Strelok says:
you can bet the best 100 lines are from Futurama :)
11/06/2008 at 10:54 Gap Gen says:
“There’s a bun in the toaster”
11/06/2008 at 11:52 Meat Circus says:
WINS of a Solar Empire, surely?
Wasted opportunity.
11/06/2008 at 11:55 tony says:
My favorite sci-fi quote (though from a real person, the grand-daddy of Sci-Fi, Arthur C. Clarke)
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”
Having an IT background, it tickles me to explain routers, websites, TCP/IP stacks to non-IT people as “magic” :)
11/06/2008 at 12:01 Meat Circus says:
@Tony:
Any technology distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.
What about any number of H2G2 quotes:
“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.”
11/06/2008 at 12:01 Anticheese says:
I got a good idea….Heres hoping!
Oh Firefly, so awesome.
11/06/2008 at 12:06 Shanucore says:
Heh, I sent some entries before books / comics were permitted. Probably for the best or I’d have been at it all day.
11/06/2008 at 12:13 Meat Circus says:
I’M GOING TO ALLOW THIS.
11/06/2008 at 12:18 Quirk says:
@Tony, Meat Circus:
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
I favour Army of Darkness myself (European cut? the one with the worse ending, anyway): “We can take these Deadites, we can take ‘em… WITH SCIENCE!”.
11/06/2008 at 12:21 Kieron Gillen says:
Meat: I’ve been reading the title as “Wins of a Solar Empire” all morning. Only reading your post did I realise that Jim didn’t go for the gag.
KG
11/06/2008 at 12:32 Crispy says:
It’s got to be a Phillip K. Dick line for me, but which one is another question.
11/06/2008 at 12:36 Ginger Yellow says:
I’ve already got Sins (it’s awesome), so I’ll just post it here. From Serenity: “This is the captain, we have a little problem with our entry sequence, so we may experience some slight turbulence and then… explode.”
11/06/2008 at 12:45 Jim Rossignol says:
I got up very early this morning. (5am!)
11/06/2008 at 12:46 Gap Gen says:
My favourite line is probably from Lost in Space (the remake) where at the end they can’t get into space in their ship so someone offers the helpful suggestion “Let’s go THROUGH the planet!”
11/06/2008 at 12:52 Alex McLarty says:
“My favorite sci-fi quote (though from a real person, the grand-daddy of Sci-Fi, Arthur C. Clarke)
“Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”
Having an IT background, it tickles me to explain routers, websites, TCP/IP stacks to non-IT people as “magic” :)”
How to earn the nickname of “twat”.
Only joking… :)
11/06/2008 at 12:57 Yontan says:
*sigh* not cool. i have too many awesome lines to send in. Just Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams have given me too many to process even before moving onto the movies and games sections. I’m not even going near my Red Dwarf collection, damnit I have work to do!! …which reminds me. When is the deadline for this thing?
11/06/2008 at 16:28 Nimic says:
Two questions, hope they can be answered:
Are we only allowed to send in one suggestion, and is it just a single line, or maybe a short conversation?
11/06/2008 at 16:40 Al3xand3r says:
There! Are!… Four! LIGHTS!
Feel free to use that, I bought the game so won’t take part :)
11/06/2008 at 16:43 cyrenic says:
Can we get a deadline please?
11/06/2008 at 16:49 agrona says:
oh, here I thought _uttered_ would preclude written material that wasn’t performed.
11/06/2008 at 17:11 dartt says:
What a shame.
11/06/2008 at 17:26 Donald Duck says:
From Dune –
“Remember… The tooth!.. The tooth!”
11/06/2008 at 17:32 akbar says:
Best pisstake:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYPKAirIV7M
11/06/2008 at 17:37 mujadaddy says:
I’m in, suckers. Might as well give up :D
11/06/2008 at 17:51 Ben Hazell says:
“Don’t just stand there, come in!”
As soon as I push that out of my brain I’ll enter.
Oh, and Don’t hide again RPS.
11/06/2008 at 18:21 AndyGusto says:
is “There will be Blood” count as science fiction?
11/06/2008 at 18:42 Gap Gen says:
Anachronox: “Is that… bad?”
(note: I already have Sins, but this is fun!)
11/06/2008 at 19:03 Brendan Taylor says:
(oops, sent that to the wrong place)
11/06/2008 at 19:19 John P (Katsumoto) says:
what a shame
11/06/2008 at 19:44 Dinger says:
I have the game too. My submission hors compétition:
“All men by nature desire to know” (Aristotle, Metaphysics A:1)
Probably the greatest bit of science fiction every written — heck that line inspired Dante.
Okay, if you want to be a pedant, how about: “If I were Napoleon, you could be my Josephine?”
11/06/2008 at 22:04 jamie says:
This is such a good game, 1.05 is out for all who care, featuring such fixes as multiplayer and singleplayer, get it while its hot like.
11/06/2008 at 22:58 internisus says:
I’ll second the request for a deadline, and I’d also like to know whether “best” means “funniest” as I suspect or whether perfectly serious lines stand on equal footing here.
11/06/2008 at 23:43 Albides says:
“He’s dead, Jim!“
12/06/2008 at 00:49 RichPowers says:
Meat Circus deserves to win for suggesting the post be renamed WINS of a Solar Empire.
12/06/2008 at 01:44 jph wacheski says:
looks way too complex for me,. I dont want to take a phd. degree to play a game,. how much time they think I have to kill,. . I will ponder the question and if i win and play the thing, perhaps I will enjoy it,. .
“He’s dead, Jim!“ is a clasic! fo’ sure!
12/06/2008 at 02:02 Albides says:
It’s actually pretty approachable, jph. If you’re familiar with RTS games, then you’ll pick up Sins reasonably easily, because as far as the mechanics goes, it’s more or less a typical RTS with territory broken into planets, planetoids and suns, as with most turn-based space strategy sims, instead of your usual scrolling terrain. It’s a simple idea but it changes the whole dynamic of the way the strategy game plays in the way strategic points do for Company of Heroes and Dawn of War.
12/06/2008 at 03:18 Dogman says:
Does Deus Ex count?
“A BOMB”
12/06/2008 at 09:39 JR says:
“I want more life, fucker!” – Bladerunner
12/06/2008 at 09:51 Tom says:
Hey, I just read the compo rules and RPS are claiming that all these quotes we’re submitting as entries become their copyright. That’s gonna make you rich, guys. If you like I can submit you the McDonald’s logo too…
12/06/2008 at 11:38 fearian says:
Entries must flow!
12/06/2008 at 16:24 TychoCelchuuu says:
“I want more life, father!” – Bladerunner
12/06/2008 at 17:31 Ice Dragon says:
“Beam me up Scotty!”
12/06/2008 at 19:35 KingMob says:
“I’m giving you a choice: either put on these glasses or start eatin’ that trash can.”
They Live, 1988
12/06/2008 at 21:44 Kong says:
Great competition, great magazine. I check it almost daily, thx for the great work.
My entry is not very original, but I believe it’s the bestest and beautifullest sf dialogue (well, monologue) ever. Roy Batty in Blade Runner, 1982 by Ridley Scott:
>Batty: I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.<
My favorite cinema death scene too.
My second and third best dialogues would be: why exploited Ferengi do not fight exploitation in DS 9 -Bar Association and “how a drill instructor named Zim captured a brain”. Harharhar
13/06/2008 at 00:45 Tony says:
Hudson: That’s it man, game over man, game over! What the fuck are we gonna do now? What are we gonna do?
Burke: Maybe we could build a fire, sing a couple of songs, huh? Why don’t we try that?
13/06/2008 at 00:46 Tony says:
sorry..thats From Aliens -1986
13/06/2008 at 03:38 DerangedStoat says:
‘Smoke me a kipper, skipper, I’ll be back for breakfast!’
13/06/2008 at 12:27 Gnee says:
Here’s an oldie buy goodie: That’s not a moon….its a space station!!!
13/06/2008 at 14:22 bartholemue says:
got sins already but hey, wth…(this is off ‘dude, wheres my car?’)
“dude!!! you’ve got a tattoo”
“so have you, what does mine say”
“Dude. what does mine say”
“sweet. what does mine”
“Dude! what does mine say”
“Sweet!what does mine say”
“DUDE! what does mine say”
“SWEET!” (they begin hitting each other)
13/06/2008 at 15:22 Iain says:
Ahh, Hitch Hikers Guide :)
The Guide-
“Space,” it says, “is big. Really big. You just won’t believe how vastly hugely mindboggingly big it is. I mean you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist, but that’s just peanuts to space.”
Zaphod Breeblebox -
“I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.”
13/06/2008 at 15:58 maheshjr2004 says:
I already own the game, will just give out ideas
Number Six: Are you alive?
Military Liaison: Yes.
Number Six: Prove it. (Whoever doesn’t recognize that shame on you)
Apollo: So what’s the charge this time?
Starbuck: Striking a superior asshole.
Apollo: You’ve been waiting all day to say that, haven’t you?
Starbuck: Actually, all afternoon.
Starbuck: Why can’t we use the starboard launch tube?
Chief Tyrol: It’s a gift shop now.
Starbuck: Frak me.
Roslin: I’m going to be straight with you here. The human race is about to be wiped out. We have fifty thousand people left and that’s it. Now, if we are even going to survive as a species, then we need to get the hell out of here and we need to start having babies!
Adama: There’s a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.
Shelley Godfrey: Have you lost your mind!?
Baltar: That’s an interesting question, and one I pose to myself on a regular basis.
Starbuck: You have been selected as Caprica’s delegate to the Quorum of Twelve.
Baltar: Me? Is this some kind of joke?
Starbuck: Guess you got the super-genius vote. No accounting for taste.
Number Six: Congratulations, Doctor!
Baltar: Thank you, um…politics is the only thing more boring than blood samples. All those interminable speeches, all that dreary pomp…!
Number Six: Parties full of young women, drawn to men of power.
Baltar: …but when the people call, you must serve.
Starbuck: Bitch took my ride.
Tigh: Why aren’t you in the brig?
Billy Keikeya: (flustered) Because.. no one put me in there?
Brother Cavil: Do you know how useless prayer is? Chanting, and singing, and mucking about with old half-remembered lines of bad poetry? And you know what it gets you? Exactly nothing.
Tyrol: Are you sure that you are a priest?
13/06/2008 at 18:38 zima says:
eXistenZ
As hard as it is to choose only one creative work as source of quotation, this movie presents another challenge – quotation worthy dialogue shows up every 5 minutes ;) (but otoh it’s strongy related to games, so it’s a good candidate for this contest/might make my chances better/is a pathetic form of flattery ;) ).
If choosing only one dialogue…
Allegra: So how does it feel?
Ted: What?
Allegra: Your real life. The one you came back for.
Ted: It feels completely unreal.
Allegra: You’re stuck now, aren’t ya? You want to go back to the Chinese restaurant because there’s nothing happening here. We’re safe. It’s boring.
Ted: It’s worse than that. I’m not sure… I’m not sure here, where we are, is real at all. This feels like a game to me. And you, you’re beginning to feel a bit like a game character.
And few more noteworthy… (spoilers ahead? And above for that matter too…)
Ted: Free will is obviously not a big factor in this little world of ours.
Allegra: It’s like real life. There’s just enough to make it interesting.
Hey, tell the truth. Are we still in the game?
Ted: We’re both stumbling around together in this unformed world, whose rules and objectives are largely unknown, seemingly indecipherable or even possibly nonexistent, always on the verge of being killed by forces that we don’t understand.
Allegra: That sounds like my game, all right.
Ted: That sounds like a game that’s not gonna be easy to market.
Allegra: But it’s a game everybody’s already playing.
(this one’s not really remarkable, but certainly a dream of every gamer geek ;) )
Allegra: What the hell was that?
Ted: That wasn’t me. That was my game character. I wouldn’t have done that. Not here anyway.
Allegra: Our characters are obviously supposed to jump on each other. It’s probably a pathetically mechanical attempt to heighten the emotional tension of the next game sequence. No use fighting it.
You have to play the game to find out why you’re playing the game.
Allegra, what if we’re not in the game anymore?
13/06/2008 at 18:50 Josh says:
“Who am I? I’m Susan Ivanova. Commander. Daughter of Andre and Sophie Ivanov. I am the right hand of vengeance and the boot that is going to kick your sorry ass all the way back to Earth, sweetheart. I am death incarnate, and the last living thing that you’re ever going to see. God sent me.”
Commander Susan Ivanova, Between the Light and the Darkness
13/06/2008 at 20:05 Jeff says:
“FOR TANITH! FOR THE EMPEROR!”
- Colonel-Commissar Ibram Gaunt
13/06/2008 at 20:58 maheshjr2004 says:
Jeff has inspired me to post WH40k stuff
* Some may question your right to destroy ten billion people. Those who understand realize that you have no right to let them live…
o – Officio Exterminatum In Exterminatus Extremis
* In an Imperium of a million worlds, what is the death of one world in the cause of purity?
o Inquisition credo
* The enemies of the Emperor fear many things. They fear discovery, defeat, despair and death. Yet there is one thing they fear above all others. They fear the wrath of the Space Marines.
o Anonymous
Why not arm the bastards and have them win us a few bloody worlds between the verses?!
* Leman Russ on Remembrancers
* Only in the Space Marines of the Legiones Astartes are courage and expertise perfectly blended. In other troops they are present in varying degrees and proportions, and many scholars have debated their relative merits.
For my own part, I come down on the side of courage. For courage makes a virtue of inexperience. I myself have commanded Imperial Guard troops whose probitor units have achieved great things, because their courage was infinite and because they were too inexperienced to realise that their goal was impossible.
o Leman Russ, De Natura Belli Book XIV
* After the orbital strikes, Thunderhawk bombardments, Whirlwinds, Vindicators, fusion and starfire and finally Battle Brothers with flamers had finished cleansing the world of all the enemies of Man, we built a monastery in the center of the largest, most radioactive impact crater. We named the planet “Tranquility”, for it was very quiet now.
o Brother Vlad Carthas
* To admit defeat is to blaspheme against the Emperor.
o Roboute Guilliman, Primarch of the Ultramarines
* Do not ask, ‘Why kill the alien?’
Rather ask, ‘Why not?’
o Battle Brother Artemis of the Deathwatch
Next up FIREFLY
Addenum: Starship Troopers
* With national governments in collapse at the end of the XXth century, something had to fill the vacuum, and in many cases it was the returned veterans. They had lost a war, most of them had no jobs, many were sore as could be over the terms of the Treaty of New Delhi, especially the P.O.W. foul-up – and they knew how to fight. But it wasn’t revolution; it was more like what happened in Russia in 1917 – the system collapsed; somebody else moved in. The first known case, in Aberdeen, Scotland, was typical. Some veterans got together as vigilantes to stop rioting and looting, hanged a few people (including two veterans) and decided not to let anyone but veterans on their committee. Just arbitrary at first – they trusted each other a bit, they didn’t trust anyone else. What started as an emergency measure became constitutional practice in a generation or two. (Pg. 179)
13/06/2008 at 22:02 Sradac says:
“…So harry began feelin around on all the trees. And he said, Well I think we’re on pluto. So I said, but harry how can you tell? By the bark you dummies! By the bark!!”
13/06/2008 at 23:39 Emperor Dano says:
so when does the contest end?
15/06/2008 at 04:02 Call me Ishmael says:
“Undomesticated equines could not remove me.” – Teal’c
“Wild horses, Teal’c. That was a joke…” – Jack O’neill
15/06/2008 at 05:53 what must be done says:
“I knew it, I’m surrounded by assholes!”
-Spaceballs
“In the beginning God created the heavens and the Earth.”
-Genesis
15/06/2008 at 21:37 sinister agent says:
I’ve just realised I made not one, not seven, but TWO embarassing errors with my submission. Let’s gloss quietly over this.
15/06/2008 at 22:26 Dagda says:
Same here. Unless a narrator counts as dialogue.
16/06/2008 at 03:18 sinister agent says:
Mine were more embarassing, I assure you. I confused Asimov with Clarke, for one thing.
These authors all look alike, anyway.
17/06/2008 at 04:11 Josh says:
Anyone know when the winners will be announced?
Thanks!
-J
19/06/2008 at 10:59 jakeo says:
Marooned for all eternity in the center of a dead planet.
Buried alive!
Khan!
-Star Trek 2 the wrath of Kahn
21/06/2008 at 16:09 Oli says:
“How many archeologists carry weapons on them?” – Jack O’Neill
“Well… I do!” – Daniel Jackson
“Ok, wrong example” -O’Neill
(i had to put that because of the earlier stargate quote I read here :P)
but mine would be
“Time to go and find this “Redship Rory”… Sheesh, did his mama really name him “Redship”?” – Bruce Campbell as Jake Logan in Tachyon
23/06/2008 at 22:52 renegade ninja says:
okay for all you browncoats out there
“I aim to misbehave” Malcom Reynolds
Firefly