NSFW: A Beginners Guide To Sporn

Written by Kieron Gillen on June 18, 2008 at 5:59 pm.

Yeah, your mum is real proud right now.
You give humanity a creative tool, the first thing a human will do is - well - make a tool with it. Since the Spore demo’s release, it’s become a bukkake wave sweeping the web: comedy pornographic images via Spore. Spornography - aka “Sporn”. Has it reached a climax yet? We don’t know, but we think it’s as good a time as any to stop and survey the lie of the land. And, yes, it’s sticky.

Beneath the cut you’ll find gathered a large selection of the phalluses, the pseudo-sex-acts and general disturbing animated parts of the gamers’ subconcious. For God’s sake, don’t click it at work.

Right - we’re dividing these into loose categories. There’s certainly some we’ve missed - there’s a brilliant missionary position one I can’t find again - but it’ll do for now. If you’ve got a favourite, please, post it in the comments thread and we’ll work it in later.

COITUS
:
X object in Y orifice, and various combinations thereof.




MOBILE PHALLUSES
:
Like everyone else, we predicted they’d be a lot of these. And the prediction was right. What’s most impressive is the number of different ways you can make a cock move.

(The next one will satisfy you if you ever wondered what a large penis would look like when dancing to rubbishy dance tracks)

GOATSE:
The Dark Heart of the Internet, faithfully recreated.

CREATURES WITH ENORMOUS PHALLUS
Look - it’s an animal with an impressively large cock. Noteworth is the variety in size and shape. No person draws a comedy cock in the same way.

(I especially like how the following one licks it and lies his head against it)

(And someone’s overcompensating)

FORLORN, YET DISTURBING, ATTEMPTS TO MAKE HOT WOMEN
As title. Nice try, but… no.

I’m sure Will Wright is very proud of you all.

UPDATE 1: Some further Sporn! Also, if you’re having trouble actually playing the videos, and they’re stopping after 2 seconds, the way I tend to fix it on my machine is closing and restarting Firefox. As in, a clean restart rather than resuming a session. Very odd.

112

__________________

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Gravatar Lambo says:

These all seem to freeze at exactly 2 seconds for me. Theres probably a very simple reason for this but could someone point it out to me? BTW nice collection you must be very….dedicated…to go through all of this :)

June 18th, 2008 at 6:13 pm

Gravatar Strelok says:

@Lambo: Flash 9 + Firefox.

June 18th, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Gravatar Andthensobecause says:

Dammit. “Sporn.” That’s such a good name for it. And google says you are the first to use it.

I keep mistakenly attributing sentience to these creatures and then I get unbelievably creeped out.

June 18th, 2008 at 6:20 pm

Gravatar rei says:

Oh god, the first one cracked me up so hard that I’m afraid to click on the rest. There’s something absolutely hilarious about subverting the perfectly innocent piece of software to such an end.

(27, for the record <.<)

June 18th, 2008 at 6:21 pm

Gravatar Riotpoll says:

I have the same problem, moving the slider and starting at a different point it just feezes after 2 seconds too :(

June 18th, 2008 at 6:22 pm

Gravatar The_B says:

I think it helps that the dance emote music does sound vaguely reminiscent of a bad porno…

June 18th, 2008 at 6:23 pm

Gravatar Arnulf says:

Really, this is… morbidly fascinating. To say the least.

Questions pop into my head, questions that need to be answered:

1. How large is the percentage of pr0n-centered Sporecreativity?

I mean, is it that these egregious examples just stick out more and get more attention than they deserve. Maybe, maybe I’m just visiting the wrong websites (Kotaku, RPS) which home in onto these like flies to a turd. Did the BBC, Spiegel Online, the NY Times, Wired discover Spr0n already.

2. What does Will Wright think of all this?

Did he forsee it? Is he laughing like a madman? Ashamed to look into a mirror? (”What did I do?“)

3. If Sigmund Freud would live in this day and age, would he have a field day with all this?

June 18th, 2008 at 6:26 pm

Gravatar Corion says:

And to think this game is supposed to download other peoples’ creations to your computer. Will I be subjected to this? Will children be subjected to this?

I can foresee playing in offline mode should I break my boycott and buy an EA game.

June 18th, 2008 at 6:37 pm

Gravatar Achievee Soot says:

@Andthensobecause

Sporn is from an RPS comment, actually, but I imagine lots of people came up with it independently.

http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/?p=1921#comments

June 18th, 2008 at 6:37 pm

Gravatar Noc says:

Arnulf:
1) I was browsing the Sporepedia last night, and I wasn’t actually seeing much of it. My theory is that everyone, with a few exceptions in both directions, makes one obscenity. Then they make twenty other creatures, keeping the Phallic Ratio (henceforth referred to as PR) relatively small.

2) RPS needs to seek out Mr. Wright’s opinion on the matter! Headline: “Is Spore Doing Wright with Cocks?”

3) The internet has more polygons than public restrooms.

June 18th, 2008 at 6:43 pm

Gravatar Chugnucker says:

omf the 18th one had me rolling

June 18th, 2008 at 6:57 pm

Gravatar K says:

Mine is still the best, and I’m spamming every thread until you agree. Or, possibly, I won’t. Or, possibly, I already have.

Adore it

I was going to use “sporn” too. :/
Oh, oh, Spore Spawns Sporn?

June 18th, 2008 at 7:08 pm

Gravatar chaos4u says:

Im so dissapointed my creations have not showed up :(

there something about being able to create anthropomorphic (god thats a big word… thanks google)
creatures and then give them sexual traits
i wonder if the porn industry is watching this .

But as Corion pointed out this is going to be a surprise to some clueless parent. They bought this kid the game thinking it would be educational only to come in to the room and see there lil kid staring wide eyed at the abomination gyrating and pulsating across the screen in all its graphic XXX glory…

this has the potential to best hot coffee and sega’s night trap in terms of political rabble..

and on a side note i bet the furries are loving this.

June 18th, 2008 at 7:16 pm

Gravatar Lambo says:

@Strelok I tried it but that still doesn’t work.

Does anyone have any other suggestions. I’ve seen a lot of these vids in other places and they’ve all worked fine, its just these particular links that freeze on me I think.

June 18th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

Gravatar Valentin Galea says:

Programmer for Spore returns home:
Wife - Hi honey, how was work?
Progr. - Well I tweaked even more the engine for displaying cocks! Had some bugs…
Wife - Oh honey I’m so proud of you! Putting money on the table by allowing other people to animate virtual cocks!

June 18th, 2008 at 7:28 pm

Gravatar Okami says:

Will Wright is probably crying right now..

June 18th, 2008 at 7:31 pm

Gravatar Steven Hutton says:

I’m surprised no one has made a woman with a mouth full of razor sharp fangs instead of a vagina… yet.

June 18th, 2008 at 7:40 pm

Gravatar Dodger says:

Gah, this is not what evolution is about, people!

Well… in a way it is. -_-

June 18th, 2008 at 7:41 pm

Gravatar Jim Rossignol says:

This is the end of videogames.

June 18th, 2008 at 7:45 pm

Gravatar Simon Parkin says:

The bell-end of videogames.

June 18th, 2008 at 7:59 pm

Gravatar Alfoodle Noodle says:

I have this feeling that Wright knew this fucking all along.

He created the Sims! Nude Patches, Penis-Sims, they were all over the place!

What I’m thinking is that he attempts to find out what people are exactly using for these creations, he’ll maybe have a few models tweaked to be less optimal for these purposes, or maybe they’re brainstorming some kind of filter that looks through the whole obscenity thing.

June 18th, 2008 at 8:02 pm

Gravatar Nick says:

How long before the senators get involved, eh?

June 18th, 2008 at 8:06 pm

Gravatar hobbes says:

Just for info, the video problem appears to also afflict Opera.
The temporary solution suggested at the mozilla forums is to go back a version to flash 8. I have not tried this, so don’t know if it works or not.

June 18th, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Gravatar AbyssUK says:

Spore might just be the most awesome game ever…

June 18th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

Gravatar fluffy bunny says:

“And to think this game is supposed to download other peoples’ creations to your computer. Will I be subjected to this? Will children be subjected to this?”

Those are good questions, and I wonder what effect this “sporn-fad” will have on the shared content thing that’s supposed to be an important part of the later stages of the game.

June 18th, 2008 at 8:47 pm

Gravatar Sam says:

You see, this is why we can’t have nice things.

June 18th, 2008 at 8:56 pm

Gravatar Rook says:

I can’t wait for the fox news report, because let’s face it, they’d be right about the content this time.

June 18th, 2008 at 9:13 pm

Gravatar Stuk says:

Is this what investigative journalism has come to?! Filth I say!

June 18th, 2008 at 9:34 pm

Gravatar Andthensobecause says:

@Achievee Soot

Oh, hmm, so I missed that then and my google skills are lacking.

June 18th, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Gravatar Trousers says:

@ Lambo:

I’ve also had problems recently with embedded (sp? drunk?) videos pausing at two seconds, and then playing 2-5 seconds before pausing again no matter where I try to skip the video too. I was using firefox, but IE seemed to play the videos fine.

Has anyone else had problems with embedded (?) videos stopping after a few seconds and refusing to continue? Is it a firefox issue only?

EDIT: I’m in teh america if that makes a difference.

June 18th, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Gravatar Zed says:

Dear lord, I feel sorry for Will Wright ATM. I mean, someone at Maxis/EA must have considered that this could would happen. Will they have some cadre of interns, vetting all the millions of critters that will be uploaded as time goes on?

My god, the emotional scarring from that job…

June 18th, 2008 at 9:43 pm

Gravatar Frans Coehoorn says:

Spore is going nuts! Soon 18+ and bans all over the world!

June 18th, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Gravatar ste says:

FYI Kieron can claim what he wants about the “Sporn” genesis, but I say he ripped the term off me. Evidence: earlier in the day he’d messaged me to ask if I had any favourite s-pornography and I linked him to my blog post. NB This is not the first time he has stolen something from me, going right back to my heart in Bath some eight years ago. The problem is he is handsome / bearded / hung like a Minter-envisioned spore-creation and always gets away with it :(

June 18th, 2008 at 10:29 pm

Gravatar El Stevo says:

I’d say the chances of you encountering a walking cock in your game of Spore are relatively slim. There maybe a lot of them out there, but they’re dwarfed by the number of work-safe creatures.

Another point to consider is that the creatures have to be shared by the creator before others can receive them, which I’m sure not all cock creators will do. I of course gave in to temptation and made a penis monster (Dongzilla), but unlike most of my other creatures I didn’t bother sharing it.

Then when a creature is uploaded users can report it for offensiveness, which I’m sure would happen for all the obviously obscene creatures. This means EA only have to look for obscene content to remove in this list of flagged creatures rather than vetting every single new submission.

There’s also a simple rating system in place for the creatures. I’m not sure about the exact nature of it, so I can only speculate, but perhaps creatures with a negative rating either won’t be put into players’ worlds or will have a smaller chance of doing so. I took a quick look at Sporepedia, and it appears that most of the ruder ones have unhappy faces beside them.

It seems like a fairly robust and self-regulating system to me. I’m sure one or two one-eyed monsters will slip through the net, but as a last resort players can ban individual creatures from their game.

June 18th, 2008 at 11:18 pm

Gravatar Derek says:

Bummer, sporn.com and spornography.com are both already registered. I could have been a millionaire. :(

June 18th, 2008 at 11:31 pm

Gravatar Stromko says:

I’m getting the same video pausing problem even when I use Internet Explorer, and using Firefox 3 and Firefox 2. IE also fails to properly display the page. Awesome. ;) I could try back-patching Flash but I don’t care that much. Oh nevermind, it does have sound and simply buffers bad in IE.

June 18th, 2008 at 11:42 pm

Gravatar Tenorek says:

why are all these videos messed up? I mean besides the obvious. They keep stopping in the middle of play.

June 18th, 2008 at 11:46 pm

Gravatar phuzz says:

And as of now, pretty much all of them have been taken off youtube, which means I don’t get to see them.

thank fuck

June 19th, 2008 at 12:03 am

Gravatar Sightseemc says:

The only solution I have to the “2 seconds then freeze problem” in Firefox is to exit the browser, and begin Firefox again. I do not restore the previous session (though that may not matter), and I just surf back to the page and replay the video. Works fine, so there must be some [insert “buffer” or “memory” or other word that true programmers understand] issue.

June 19th, 2008 at 12:49 am

Gravatar Ci2e says:

yeah why do all the videos freeze after two seconds of play?

i’ve noticed in the past having a lot of trouble w/ quicktime so i don’t use it now youtube videos where’s the fix ??

June 19th, 2008 at 2:21 am

Gravatar Andrew says:

I think its funny. I never even thought about doing this until i read this artical. I have had the program for a few hours now. 8 )

June 19th, 2008 at 4:05 am

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

For the record, I came up with the term SPORN for the three sexy creatures (one of which has now been deleted from youtube after 6000+ views) that I had made on the demo version of spore creature creator that had got leaked on the net over last weekend.

Respect where its due. Check out my youtube if you dont believe me. Peace ;0)

June 19th, 2008 at 5:37 am

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

in fact to prove my point further, type ’sporn’ and ’spore’ into google together and which youtube links are at the top

Iii thankyaw

June 19th, 2008 at 5:42 am

Gravatar Mr. Bunny says:

I sure hope this doesn’t become a problem. They can be amusing for a little while, but I sure don’t want these in my game. I hope the rating system can stand up to all this.

June 19th, 2008 at 6:25 am

Gravatar NameRequired says:

Yea there’s a lot of shit coming from this creator, but if it’s done good like a f*cking race or some nice try of naked woman, so I think that there’s no problem. But people u gotta be an artist to do it beautiful, otherwise it became just another proof for humans’ degradation. Here’s something I just saw, and I like it because it’s a combination of fun video and precise work: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mV1xp9m0B00

June 19th, 2008 at 6:26 am

Gravatar RichPowers says:

Call me a five-year-old all you want, but those vids had me lol’ing for a good while, especially the goatse creature.

@Mr. Bunny: Hopefully EA doesn’t ban this immature stuff outright, but lets players rate it. It would be funny to have a few planets full of giant cock creatures — but not an entire galaxy.

June 19th, 2008 at 6:50 am

Gravatar SirNuke says:

I remember calling this long before the demo came out, stating that the biggest problem I could see myself having with spore is that I am past the age where a planet populated entirely with creatures that look like penises is funny.

Maxis official content only? EA would have to pull off an impressive upset to not sell bazillion copies of Spore, so they certainly could afford to hire a small army to approve creatures.

June 19th, 2008 at 7:28 am

Gravatar P.T. says:

What’s with all the fretting about the content? This is the internet, everyone knows this would happen. (You weren’t surprised by the Sporn, were you? Why would anyone else be?)

The Spore game has three download modes: None (default), Friends-only, and Free-for-all. Plus you can “report” objectionable content. Yeah, I assume someone out there in California has to filter out the objectionable content — what a job …

Browse the sporepedia at ea.com. The variety of creatures is amazing! They’re all happy-friendly, rounded creatures though. (I assume all the goths and entomologists that download this are frustruated by the lack of hard corners and unhappy colors …)

Still, I’m stunned by how well this thing works! And the proceduralness of it all is amazing. And the fact that Will Wright got 200k new creature models for the game he’s releasing this september! That’s an army of designers no one else can match.

June 19th, 2008 at 7:56 am

Gravatar Albides says:

Steven Hutton

I’m surprised no one has made a woman with a mouth full of razor sharp fangs instead of a vagina… yet.

That was actually the first thing I made. I’ll concede it doesn’t resemble a woman much.

My second attempt was naturally enough, cock, albeit with big spikey balls.

PS: I use Firefox and the video playback issue happened to me this morning. When I came back from work, they played normally. I have no idea what the problem could be.

June 19th, 2008 at 8:38 am

Gravatar Crispy says:

Great opening line, Gillen.

And to think this game is supposed to download other peoples’ creations to your computer. Will I be subjected to this? Will children be subjected to this?

I would imagine that EA will have to go down the YouTube route and force all creations to be put in a public gallery before they can be downloaded. There they are voted on by do-gooders and tagged for any signs of indecency. There may be a ‘quarantine’ period of a week or so to allow creatures to be voted on before they can be downloaded.

Well, that’s my guess. Or maybe they won’t do anything like this and Spore will become the new posterboy for the impending ‘games cause sexual deviance in kids’ debate.

June 19th, 2008 at 8:52 am

Gravatar Ian says:

At last! A sophisticated game for children.

June 19th, 2008 at 9:07 am

Gravatar ZeeKat says:

Internet - virtual version of last row of desks in the classroom. Yeah, I’m sure they didn’t see this coming.

I have admit some of these made me cry (with laughter, of course), which show how appalingly low standards I have.

June 19th, 2008 at 9:10 am

Gravatar Arnulf says:

For the record, I was not really concerned about the fate of humanity over spornography. I just find the invasion of penile creatures hilarious! Yet, for some curious reason, I’m not really interested in creating such a thing myself? That frightens me a little, since it feels like I’m not normal in some sense. Maybe it’s because I deem this part of the male anatomy not very aesthetical.

Anyway, apparently EA is totally aware of this crisis and intends to crack down on this.

Heavily!

What disturbs me again is that they first target a creature made out of, er, mammaries. Which seem to me much more pleasing to my eye than all these walking, wobbling, jumping phalli…

June 19th, 2008 at 9:12 am

Gravatar Kieron Gillen says:

Updated with further comments thread Sporn!

Mistamatrix: Your work is an inspiration.

RPS makes no attempt to claim the phrase “Sporn” for my own. A friend on a mailing list of ours said it, which is where I’m taking it from, but people were certainly doing it independently before.

But it’s quite the thing.

KG

June 19th, 2008 at 10:16 am

Gravatar AbyssUK says:

Simple answer have 18+ servers and none 18+ servers.. it asks your age when you sign up already.. so easy but I bet EA go mental and start censoring left right and centre.

June 19th, 2008 at 10:46 am

Gravatar Muzman says:

You guys have to hang on to that Oh My Eyes tag too, for all sorts of stuff.

June 19th, 2008 at 10:48 am

Gravatar Pussdaddy says:

Haha what about this one. its checking out his own bunghole!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lh6r43p8gQ

June 19th, 2008 at 11:55 am

Gravatar Okami says:

I think I now understand EA’s reasons for releasing the creature editor in advance of the main game. They want people to get the urge to do sporn out of their systems before the main game launches, so everybody will allready have done sporn and then hopefully have grown tired of it.

Don’t want all those things popping up directly after launch, do you? Especially with the mainstream press beeing interested in the title as well.

June 19th, 2008 at 12:23 pm

Gravatar AbyssUK says:

Okami.. I reckon its more like they have time to cancel before it gets out of hand :)

June 19th, 2008 at 12:36 pm

Gravatar Ste says:

kieron i am not “from” a mailing list i am a real person and moreover a person with feelings.

June 19th, 2008 at 2:14 pm

Gravatar Kieron Gillen says:

I wasn’t talking about you Ste. Someone had beat you to the punch. The Donkey punch, etc.

KG

June 19th, 2008 at 2:19 pm

Gravatar Calabi says:

What has Will Wright done, he could’ve single handedly bought back the space exploration program by years.

When they have the talks for the funding of NASA.

“Have you seen the Spore porn?”
“Could this stuff potentially be out there, in space?”
“Most of it probably not although we cant say with absolute certainty”
“So there could be?”
“Yes”
“Well in that case I will put forward my recommendations to desist all deep space exploration immediately, and begin plans to build a space shield and the biggest goddamn weapon we can muster”

June 19th, 2008 at 2:29 pm

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

Thanks Kieron, I wasn’t accusing anyone I was just setting small things straight. There was only a handful of us making sporn with the leaked demo at the weekend and I coined the term sporn either sunday or monday. It’s not important, just a little bit of joy seeing it all over tinternet :D

Anyway. I am really looking forward to landing on another planet and wiping out herds of penises. Or fighting naked aliens with 6 tits!
I think maybe maxis will curb it, but I plan to do some tasteful softcore sporn females with the full version I bought on release that hopefully they’ll include.

To all the haters, its only a game. Welcomes to teh internets.

x Liam

June 19th, 2008 at 2:35 pm

Gravatar genx says:

some ppl are very disturbed… ugh.

June 19th, 2008 at 2:37 pm

Gravatar Pod says:

Re: “Sporn”. It’s hardly a big leap of imagination to come up with it. I imagine billions of dick-producing sporeites came up with the name as well. Even Ron Gilbert used it as a title of his latest newspost.

June 19th, 2008 at 2:39 pm

Gravatar Kieron Gillen says:

Mistamatrix: If humans were in space, and found a planet and it was full of walking cocks, you bet they’d drop the nukes. “It was too sick to live”.

KG

June 19th, 2008 at 2:50 pm

Gravatar Caiman says:

I can’t believe I clicked through every one of those videos! What the hell is wrong with me?!

June 19th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

Gravatar Noc says:

I’m still curious about the mechanics of it all. I mean, does a marauding band of Dick-Men gain bonuses when raiding a village of Vagina-People? Is Spore capable of recognizing common shapes, making such differentiation possible? If not, how feasible would such functionality be to implement?

There are opportunities here, for men willing to seize them.

June 19th, 2008 at 3:45 pm

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

Noc.. tbh it’s just aesthetics. Some people like to see large breasts and floppy cocks. Funny how no-one complains that cows have great big tits and horses cocks hang proud.

Mammals be proud.

June 19th, 2008 at 4:03 pm

Gravatar Ste says:

oh, furries.

June 19th, 2008 at 4:23 pm

Gravatar Sithinious says:

While this is pretty disturbing, it’s also pretty funny and actually shows a lot of talent in some cases.

June 19th, 2008 at 6:41 pm

Gravatar Fazer says:

Some of this videos has been already banned. Maybe it’s better for humanity, because they were really disturbing… But hey, the same thing happened with Garry’s Mod! (KleinercoughoncoughAlyxcough) Conclusion? Kieron nailed it - if you give people a tool, firstly they will create the most stupid thing on Earth.

June 19th, 2008 at 6:43 pm

Gravatar Chris Keegan says:

Will Wright i bet is thinking “Opps i may have just created a whole new gaming subculture”

Politicians are going to love this.

Meanwhile…
Anyone up for a quick game of Spore Karma Sutra? ;)

June 19th, 2008 at 7:20 pm

Gravatar Verdugo says:

Jack Thompson will go nuts when he sees this.

June 19th, 2008 at 8:09 pm

Gravatar Kieron Gillen says:

Ste: When I messaged you I said “sporenography “, which is a me-ism of who I stole it from. I’ll link to her blog so you be friends. She’s a girl. You like girls.

KG

June 19th, 2008 at 9:35 pm

Gravatar The_B says:

For breakfast?

June 19th, 2008 at 9:38 pm

Gravatar Mtzoid says:

WHAHAH THIS IS THE BEST ONE SO FAR!!! 3 creatures fucking :P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IdGeMahm1k

June 19th, 2008 at 9:50 pm

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

bloody hell you tube have deleted both my male and female sporn creatures!! and I’ve been banned from uploading or commenting for two weeks!!!

23 or die

June 19th, 2008 at 11:11 pm

Gravatar Ido says:

lol, I can’t believe my vid is still up and got so many views.

June 20th, 2008 at 1:17 am

Gravatar kipsed says:

How about this? My attempt at a nice looking lizard girl:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6l3lDqmvcXE

June 20th, 2008 at 3:38 am

Gravatar Ill Precedent says:

I really ought to be ashamed to be participating, but when in Rome…

I just made a double P, myself… first one I’ve found on the net. I’ll send to anyone who wants to put it up (don’t want to mess up my Youtube account).

Someone with more money than me ought to start “The Sporn Emporium”, where we sodomites can upload our best efforts. I got 5 on it.

June 20th, 2008 at 7:27 am

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

“Someone with more money than me ought to start “The Sporn Emporium”, where we sodomites can upload our best efforts.”

I’m on it.. in the next 23 hours we should have a video/picture hosting forum live, devoted to uploading and sharing sporn. Will post the url here within the the next day. Spreading sporn, with or without the consent of EA and maxis.

June 20th, 2008 at 11:53 pm

Gravatar Ill Precedent says:

You da man, mista! And thanks for the inspiration(s), I caught some of your stuff before it YouTube recycled it back into the ether…

As long as the first amendment is still around, and the creatures are not uploaded to the Sporepedia, I believe we are within our user rights (not using our Spore screennames for anonymity’s sake might not be a bad idea either).

I’ve got a little web marketing experience, if that’ll help the cause at all. Be sure to submit the URL to Buzzfeed, that’s where I first caught the newz

June 21st, 2008 at 12:20 am

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

:D I’m in England and my server is in Germany, its getting little use at the moment so this will be prefect to get the cobwebs off it. I’ve been busy setting up a phpbb forum with video/picture capabilities, need to find a flash streaming site alternative to youtube to relax my server load.
The whole thing will be seperate to EA/Maxis and not involve the sporepedia or even any other form of porn. There’s enough of that on the internet already.
I’m just up for centralising our creativeness and not crushing it.
I’ll be looking for Mods and a bit of web marketing in the soontime, I have to go away to work at Glastonbury Festival on Tuesday but will have the site live well before then.

Yes I will post on Buzzfeed.

If anyone else is on this mission, please let me know and we’ll form a webring! :0)

June 21st, 2008 at 1:10 am

Gravatar turkey says:

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!

June 21st, 2008 at 1:39 am

Gravatar christian hunter says:

i haven’t been this amused by ANYTHING related to gaming since the quake 2 mod w/ the tractor beam (pushing friends into lava!).

this is the funniest thing i’ve seen in months!

June 21st, 2008 at 8:43 am

Gravatar utubesuckbad says:

i say let the human body part in spore run wild and free it just good humor and oyu know what? screw the kid this is a adult games base on a RTS so kid will surely give up the games at the RTS part since it going to be the long and hard so here my sporn video lol
http://youtube.com/watch?v=16Idw-80Hsk cockasasur rex
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bENwQaD1T_s TITZILA
http://youtube.com/watch?v=0CS4qaQJgM8 PEDOSAUR lol enjoy =D

June 21st, 2008 at 4:26 pm

Gravatar ujmkiop says:

could youtube be more of a blue haired granny? thanks for the pointless censorship youtube, who needs those little cartoon chinese internet cops when we have you?

June 21st, 2008 at 4:27 pm

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

http://www.sporn.unlimited23.net/

Here is the address of the forum, I’m having just one weird problem that I’m talking to phpbb about to solve, you’ll notice it soon enough (there is a cgi error if you dont press a button after submitting a post), apart from that it will work perfectly. You’ll be able to upload pics and easily embed video from most online hosts.

It’s by no means complete and I dont have tonnes of time to throw at it but it’s there to play with if anyone fancies it.

CHEERS BIG EARS :0)

June 22nd, 2008 at 1:28 am

Gravatar Ill Precedent says:

Cool beans.

June 22nd, 2008 at 9:44 am

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

The site at http://sporn.unlimited23.net will remain active, but will be moved to http://spornography.net very soon all content will be transferred, so come on guys POST SOME SPORN!

I’ll add the rest of my own soon, need a break now though.

June 22nd, 2008 at 12:42 pm

Gravatar gavril peloponnakos says:

Take it down or leave it up? That is the question of the hour?
Jeez. And here I’m thinking “Christ, some of these poor bastards need to hook up with a woman before they go beyond insane.”
Seriously, spore porn? This is just ridiculous.
honestly, sure its just a game, but this is so frakking beyond laughable. When people start doing this its time to shut down the computer and read a book, or better yet get outside. I didn’t believe this when I heard about it from youtube, but this just goes beyond anything that I have ever seen. Kids/teens/young adults these days (Shaking my head in disbelief).

June 22nd, 2008 at 9:23 pm

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

Leave it up.

To answer your concerns.

I have a hot girlfriend, I spent all day out.. went to the market for veg and used the afternoon to fit a weatherproof socket to our vannette so our solar panal can be removed easily. I read manuals, not really into books.. I like a good movie. I have enjoyed reading the LoTR a few times and HHGttG also Robert Anton Wilson books and some other spiritual pap…

My point is, I am wise and well rounded and so what if I’m a massive cartoon perve, I hate censorship and stand for the fact that floppy willies and bouncy tits look great on SCC.
Its a creative outlet, that rocks. Better still we can create aliens with GENITALIA!
Do you have something against GENITALIA?

Please supporters, come fill the Sporn Emporium with Sporn.
http://www.spornography.net

June 23rd, 2008 at 12:35 am

Gravatar Kieron Gillen says:

I’m actually slightly amazed anyone things the sporn is for wanking over. It’s funny.

That there is a forum for Sporn alone pleases me. Good work, Mistamatrix.

KG

June 23rd, 2008 at 1:02 am

Gravatar spornmaster says:

I have a sporn weblog at sporn-u.com All videos put up on my weblog have been downloaded as mp4s. If Youtube takes them down, we’ll just upload them to another video host and fix the blog entry to have the new video source. :-)

Hell, I have half a mind to just download all Youtube sporn as mp4 and upload to another host. Let’s see how Youtube likes having its ad revenue taken to the competition. Sporn might be silly, deranged, whatever, but there’s no doubt it brings TRAFFIC.

June 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 am

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

Haha, I never said I wank to Sporn, I just find it funny and sexy in a cartoon, visual way.. you know like how when we were kinds we’d pause SFII when Chun Li was doing a spinning bird kick to catch a glimpse of her knickers.
Oh is that just me ?
Anyway yeah its a larf.

I’m mainly posting to let you all know, the teething problem with the forum has been solved… I was just poking away at it this morning when the solution came to light.
So now it is bug free and primed for use.
Gonna work more on the graphics and styles but not until there is a bit more content.
Need a bit of feedback really.

As I said before I am away for a week tomorrow but will leave the forum open to see how it goes/grows, when I get back I’ll prune and evolve the look somewhat.

spornmaster, I’ve replied to your email, we’ll definitely form a webring.. first thing is to find a video host that doesn’t mind Sporn… has anyone tried megavideo ?

June 23rd, 2008 at 8:11 am

Gravatar timpundit says:

So the kids are making walking pee-pees? I have a question…

So the fuck what?

Jesus P Kerist… there’s games out there manufactured for the sole purpose of beating and raping prostitutes and car jackings and we’re upset that some 11 year old sees a dancing penis?

American’s are totally fucked in the head. We deserve what we get.

June 23rd, 2008 at 4:34 pm

Gravatar John P (Katsumoto) says:

So Pee-Pee means willy in America eh? What does Wee mean, in that case? I’m recalling the grand days of 2006 or whenever it was we first found out the Wii’s name. That was OUTRAGEOUSLY FUNNY for several months, then suddenly we all got used to it at once. I miss those days.

June 23rd, 2008 at 4:36 pm

Gravatar Derek K. says:

“but perhaps creatures with a negative rating either won’t be put into players’ worlds or will have a smaller chance of doing so. I took a quick look at Sporepedia, and it appears that most of the ruder ones have unhappy faces beside them.”

I’d certainly imagine you can set a download threshold for your own universe - only happy, 75% happy, etc.

“There are opportunities here, for men willing to seize them.” I will seize *no* opportunities related to giant willies.

“there’s games out there manufactured for the sole purpose of beating and raping prostitutes and car jackings and we’re upset that some 11 year old sees a dancing penis?”

Assuming that was a serious question, Spore is marketed to kids and families. The beating and raping games, presumably, are not. Spore also likely will have a *slightly* higher retail success.

Also, that’s a common fallacy - simply because a beating/raping game exists doesn’t mean we should care about lesser games. That’s sort of like saying “I don’t really care that you were shot. You see, there are thousands of people a year in Africa that die of diseases. I’m going to allow you to bleed to death.” Unless you are using time you would otherwise be using to crusade against said games to do this, it’s not an either or situation.

June 23rd, 2008 at 8:08 pm

Gravatar mistamatrix says:

That’s sort of like saying “I don’t really care that you were shot. You see, there are thousands of people a year in Africa that die of diseases. I’m going to allow you to bleed to death.”

It’s not really like that is it.

Too many prudes in the world.. what are you actually protecting these mythical ‘children’ from.
I agree, keep Sporn out of the game (mods will be developed soon enough anyway.). But dont squash people for playing with their toys.

June 23rd, 2008 at 9:59 pm

Gravatar Anthony Damiani says:

OK, so, who wants to chip in to buy Jack Thompson a copy of the Spore Creature Creator, a “Best of Sporn” DVD and a note saying ‘Please… think of the children?”

June 26th, 2008 at 12:03 pm

Gravatar Haha says:

You can’t stop it, nor filter it, it’s simply impossible when you have that much freedom.
And Yes you will have such creatures in your game or at least creatures that look alike.

That’s how you end up when you make “Pixar artists” jokes hahaha

June 28th, 2008 at 10:27 pm

Gravatar CJ McFly says:

I’ve also had issues with the playback stopping after 2sec in Firefox, and not just when addressing my sporn requirements. My workaround has been to get the “IE tab plug-in” for Firefox then open any site with troublesome embedded content in an IE tab. It means I’m not quite using IE and therefore can sleep well at night.

June 29th, 2008 at 4:14 pm

Gravatar 13asic says:

Rule 34

Nuff’ said.

June 30th, 2008 at 5:16 pm

Gravatar anon says:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MAtGl8oAjHU

July 3rd, 2008 at 9:12 am

Gravatar Boysz says:

where can i download this game from???

July 4th, 2008 at 8:05 pm

Gravatar The_B says:

Porn & Spam? This comment thread truly has the entire internet wrapped up in it’s warm, nestling folds.

July 7th, 2008 at 8:52 pm

Gravatar suchchoices says:

thread: “KILL ……… ME”

August 7th, 2008 at 11:55 am

Gravatar Scarlo says:

Ha, I think these are quite amusing actually.
And people don’t worry, these will probebly mostly stay in worlds were they’re welcome, you might get them when you don’t want them if your unlucky though.

August 23rd, 2008 at 3:08 pm

Gravatar Scarlo says:

But eventually I think spore staff will make sure that these things only stay were they’re wanted,
But it’s no good to ban people from having them, this game is about freedom.

August 23rd, 2008 at 3:17 pm

Gravatar 32red online casino jeu de casino en ligne says:

interesting site

August 26th, 2008 at 5:10 am

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