
It’s important to make it clear at the start that I’m very bad at Team Fortress 2. I’m pretty bad at most online shooters, with the odd exception of Quake 3, where back in the day I was: alright. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy them – I just don’t do very well in them. It’s also not to say I’m no good at shooters. Offline, single player, I’m fine. I think the point is, everyone else is a lot better than me, and so I die a lot.
With that out the way, I’d like to make an appeal: Please, Medics, don’t ubercharge me.

I can’t handle the pressure. You might think a burst of invincibility is exactly what I need, but the moment I see that percentage figure appear on the screen, I fall to pieces. Suddenly I’m no longer able to just muddle along in my own remarkably embarrassing fashion, heading in entirely the wrong direction, or trying to capture a protected base, but instead I’m beholden to another player.
There’s still a thimble of anonymity in a ten-man team. I can muddle along at the bottom of the scoreboard, the unheard sighs of my teammates not affecting me as I blow myself up with a rocket, or press the wrong button and turn invisible in front of the entire opposing team. But once that wispy stream of healing magic is attached to me, I’m done for. It’s too much. And I spontaneously do the stupidest thing imaginable, which normally involves falling off a cliff, or standing stock still in front of an enemy sentry.

I’m suddenly exposed. It’s like when I drive. I’ve no sense of direction to the point where I can get lost going up a flight of stairs. In a car, my average trip involves about thirty-four hasty turns in other people’s driveways or dodgy U-turns in wide junctions. And that’s fine on my own – I’m used to me, and my exceptional incompetence. But the moment there’s someone else in the car, my uselessness is exposed. “Oh, sorry, yes – this is just sort of how it works with me.” And they glance at the door handle and regret their decision. I’m a good driver – safe, capable. I just don’t drive in the direction I need to go. That Medic behind me is that passenger. In fact, worse, he’s the teacher in an exam, who suddenly looms behind your shoulder looking at what you’re writing, and you forget anything you might have revised.

It’s too much! I never know when I’m invincible, and then infuriate the more capable player who thought to give me this opportunity by standing facing a wall throughout my immortality. I hear people telling stories, where they say, “I couldn’t believe this idiot. I ubercharged him, and all he did was go and get first aid!” And I bow my head and feel sympathy for that mocked player, knowing that he too can’t handle the weight of responsibility.

So please don’t ubercharge me. Clearly it’s not worth your time, but more, it’s ruining mine. Sure, I know how ungrateful I sound, and I promise, it’s not a criticism of you at all. It really is me. There are other people more deserving of your attention and effort. I, meanwhile, will be getting killed by the same sentry eight times in a row before I remember where it is.
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@Malibu Stacey: It must have been the weekend’s sudden pyro-mania that subtly annoyed me – all these freshly spawned pyros were running away from me slightly faster than I could run, soon disappearing without my wondrous healing touch.
If they’d just slowed down a notch, I could have given ‘em lovely, spangly übercharges soon after arriving at the front line…
@Erlam: I’ve been playing TF off and on (usually off) since the days of QuakeWorld – and while I’m definitely not a beginner, I’m still not a good player. If someone’s obviously struggling with the game mechanics, or isn’t too sure where they’ll supposed to go, I’m more than happy to explain. And I’m more likely to be congratulating opponents on particularly impressive (or embarrassing) kills. Screaming at someone for making a mistake? Definitely not me. It’s a game!
Those of you running the wrong way with with CounterStrike bombs? Er. Yeah. You remember when you used to be able to relocate the hostages as terrorists in CS?
Turns out, if you got confused as to which team you were on, you could actually take them all the way to the rescue point. Thankfully, this was at a casual LAN party, so the result was some highly amused CTs, rather than a kickban for (completely accidental!) griefing.
If you have a list of servers that’d be great – as it stands we only have the one favourited. (I personally have been scouring the earth for a good non-crit one. It’s a thing.)
I must admit, it’s weird not only discovering another QTF veteran, but finding out my favourite level designer/modder is one as well. And to have said person reply to me, well, it’s a little overwhelming ;)
Heh, I seem to get ubered a lot when I have no ammo left. Especially as Heavy. It usually goes something like…
*Medic pops his uber*
NOW IS COWARD KILLING TIME!
bangbangclickclickclickclickclick
*I stare in disbelief at my ammo counter, before fumbling with my controls to pull another weapon*
Damn it… GIANT FISTS!
*Uber runs out. Demomen detonate the twelve million stickies under my feet. They never find all the parts.*
This invariably happens when the entire enemy team is waiting around the corner, and are unable to run away. If I ever get ubered with full ammo, there’s no-one there or they somehow all manage to hide before I have a chance to riddle them with holes…
This is why decent medics fucking ASK before they unleash an uber.
While less than decent medics decide to ubercharge a demo to take out a sentry 10 seconds away from where they are, when the demo just expanded most of his ammo supply.
So… yeah.
Of course, as a medic, going “ok, guy I’m healing – I’m about to uber you. In 5 seconds. Let’s go, push them back a bit. Ready? Go” (all in one excited yap) and then having that guy… do nothing…. is ever so pleasing.
I am ok being ubered unless I am a demoman and there are no sentries that need immediate attention.. I cannot kill anything when ubercharged as a demoman, it just fails to happen unless I manage to bottle them =(
Nick you CAN deny ground though by setting all your stickies in strategic places while ubered, a bit harder to do though now that pyros can blow them away. :( Problem is that crappy medics will be pissed you didn’t kill anyone.
If I do get ubered I tend to run into a group of people and set off lots of stickies at my feet till it’s time to run away again.
I know how you feel!
But maybe that is one more of my reasons to play as a sniper. I always play as a sniper in all FPS and when i tried this free weekend the sniper it was great! No freaking grenades but 3 seconds after that though i was stabbed by a spy -_-”!
I sometimes change to scout for the speed of the kills, but one time when a med ubercharged me i was like all in panic, OMG i need to do a lot of kills or they kick me!
Loved this free weekend and now i am going to buy the orange box!
I have the same problems. Whenever I play a heavy, which isn’t that often, I get Übered the moment I reach the front lines, and pinned against a wall by a sentry, unable to accomplish anything.
I don’t play medic much either, as I have horrible timing.
Maybe I’m just not good at this?
That’s not that bad. The worst I’ve encountered was a medic who got defeated by a dispenser.
He was following me to the intel room of twoforts where an enemy engy had built a dispenser blocking the corridor. I jumped over it, he didn’t know how. So the medic stood there bumbling around infront of the dispenser while I grabbed the intel. Before I got back, he got blown up by a defender.
You know, when facing a sentry with an Uber, a good Medic will go first and get pinned by the gun, allowing their ward to move freely and kill stuff. Plenty of communication needed for this move.
Be not discouraged, oh people who think they are bad. This game has the best learning curve of any multiplayer game I’ve ever experienced. Play smart, pay attention, and you’ll learn be a vital team member very quickly.
This happens constantly to me. I also love it when people are screaming for healing, I start healing them but they still keep running towards the nearest medpack & inevitably collect it as they are almost full of health. This is always followed by me being rushed by a Pyro & since I can’t heal myself, I die before I can find another medpack.
I think the medic unlocks might be bugged. I only have 21 achievements but it unlocked both the Kritzkreig & the Ubersaw for me last night (so with the 3 milestones I have 24/39 in the medic pack). It looks like it’s counting milestones as achievements which may or may not be by design but I’m not complaining to VALVe at any rate & if they do fix that I’ll probably have the 22nd I need for the Ubersaw anyway as I’m a little off completing some of the longer ones.
To everyone saying they can’t handle the pressure etc in team games like TF2 & CS:S. Have you ever considered maybe not playing Team based mulitplayer games? There was this multiplayer game type a while ago, not many people have heard of it so it may come as a shock to you. It’s called “Deathmatch” as far as I can remember & the concept is every man (or woman) for themself. Crazy concept I know, don’t think it’ll ever catch on but give it a bash if you ever find one of those “Deathmatch” games.
At the very least stop trying to play a team game like it’s deathmatch. Perhaps use your voice comm key once in a while & ask for advice? You never know you might be pleasantly surprised by the results.
I got the “Big Pharma” medic achievement (kill 20 enemies with a heavy without either of you dying) at the weekend on cp_dustbowl with a new player who went Heavy. He said on voice he was new to the game so I gave him advice on when to grab ammo (we were camping the right side spawn exit with the little hut next to it near the first cap point), what the ubercharge does etc. It helped that the opposition was full of clueless pyros all rushing him while I stood on top of the hut healing & ubering him but that’s beside the point.
I’ve never felt so proud of an achievement.
Poet: yes, totally aware, but single stickies flying across the map at 5 second intervals rarely get the job done cause the engy can actually shoot them off and repair the damage. A hail of well-aimed grenades; not gonna happen.
Okay. I snapped. I was addicted to TF2 over Christmas (the 360 version, shamefully). All this talk of Pyros and upgrades and that sweet, sweet Sniper video… They lured me in.
I bought TF2 off Steam yesterday.
AND I IMMEDIATELY REGRET IT. Gahhh!
This is why I don’t buy online games for PC. I just can’t get them to run… Everything’s jumpy and I don’t know if it’s my shitty (though apparently above Recommend Specs) PC or my shitty (yet amazing for everything else) internet connections or some mystical intersection of the two.
I don’t have a friends list and get lost in the umpteen servers, where I instantly lose connection or end up the only one on a vast, empty map, or in an AchievementWhore game…
I’m not too used to the mouse, and don’t know what sensivity I should set it to, and so can’t hit a thing…
And worst of all…Everyone’s playing as Pyros now, my old favourite underdog.
(That said, I have played a good couple of hours this morning hoping my experience would get better, and if anyone wants to offer to hold my hand, they’re more than welcome.)
I find the soldier the worst to be given an uber charge to. I’ll have two rockets left and suddenly someone slaps me with an ubercharge and I am running around firing rockets into the ground trying desperately to hit something, then have to wait while I reload in a painfully slow fashion as the charge trickles away. Then I have to listen to the medic complaining about me because I got us both killed and did nothing of use. I do pretty well as a soldier on my own, firing random rockets down narrow areas and annoying the other team, suppressing snipers or slowing down enemy rushes but the ubercharge definitely renders me usless.
I haven’t played for a while I was waiting for the medic achievement fever to die down now I am waiting for the pyromania to subside, hopefully I will be able to go back in a while. I used to play pyro quite a bit but being a pyro amongst other pyros will probably be embarrassing, everyone will be able to see how bad I am as one in comparison to everyone else.
Medics: Buy a good microphone / headset and use it.
Everyone else: You too.
The team that talks to each other, slaughters the other.
If you’re ubered and out of ammo as a soldier, just use the shotgun and hope for crits.
Anyway, Medics don’t care if they waste an uber on you, usually it was to save their own life as well. All we ask is that you withdraw when you see the uber is wearing off. Usually some demoman has planted 4 or 5 bombs under us, and if you just move we’ll both live.
Hey I’m usually a Medic and I care when I use the Uber and the guy just stands they doing nothing… Though after reading Walker’s “confession” I might be a little less forthcoming with my vitriol when it happens next time.