Operation Immortality – DNA In Spaaaaaace

By John Walker on July 30th, 2008 at 6:24 pm.

Please don't save humanity.

Need your DNA in space? Yeah, we thought so. Thankfully Richard Garriott is here to help. Well, if you’re in the US anyway. (Apparently EU law prevents it taking place – any lawyers out there know why?) “What,” you ask incredulously, “are you on about?”

Well, it seems that in a deeply peculiar promotion for the middling NCSoft MMO, Tabula Rasa, players are being offered the chance to have their DNA sequenced, digitised, and fired off into space as part of the “Immortality Drive”, to accompany Lord “Richard Garriott” British’s expedition to the International Space Station in October 2008. You know, in case the human race gets wiped out and we needs spares.

Even more peculiarly, all worldwide players with live accounts on Sept 2nd will get their TR character uploaded to the device, which is rather desperately described as an “opportunity to go to space virtually.” The good Lord explains,

“I’ve been able to do some very exciting things in the games business, but nothing of this magnitude. I’m thrilled we can offer the once in a lifetime chance to millions of gamers to virtually go to space with me. A select few U.S. players will have their DNA digitised and sent. And, theoretically, if anything happens to the human race, it could be their DNA that is used to resurrect humanity.”

Um, right. It is, of course, an elaborate front for pushing free trials for Tabula Rasa, which you’ll be offered if you make your way to Operation Immortality. (Be warned, this site makes a lot of stupid noises with no option to switch them off, thus earning itself the right to be fired into space).

The real question we should be asking ourselves is: if humanity needs to be saved, do we really want players of Tabula Rasa to repopulate the race? I mean, shouldn’t it be Eve, at least?

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22 Comments »

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  1. cyrenic says:

    So exactly what kind of DNA are they firing off into space? The kind that can repopulate the universe? Gross!

    (Sorry, someone was going to go there so it might as well be the first post :D)

  2. CrashT says:

    That’s got to be an idea for an MMO in itself: “A dark future where humanity has been wiped out. Reborn from the stored DNA of the ‘greatest gamers’ of the 21st century do you have what it takes to ressurrect humanity. Leave your mark. Save Humanity. Operation Immortality coming soon…”

  3. Colthor says:

    So they don’t need any women for this endeavour then..?

    /Stereotype

  4. SanguineLobster says:

    Wait, why is Lord British going to the international space station?

    Color me a deep shade of mauve, or baffled.

  5. cyrenic says:

    Because he has a shit-ton of money.

  6. mpk says:

    Reborn from the stored DNA of the ‘greatest gamers’ of the 21st century do you have what it takes to ressurrect humanity. Leave your mark. Save Humanity. Operation Immortality coming soon…”

    I’ve always thought that EVE could be some sort of Ender’s Game like training program, getting us ready for an interstellar war we’ll be able to fight from our PCs (as long as we have Direct X 10)

  7. MA6200 says:

    Yeah, a shit-ton of money and is really into space. I stumbled on this New York Times article a while back. He apparently owns a Sputnik!

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/03/science/03collector.html

  8. Sum0 says:

    They’ll need Eve to restart the human race.

    [/Biblical joke]

  9. Simon says:

    You know those theories of how life started on earth in that it rode along from another planet on a meteorite that crashed on earth?

    So what if this is how life got started on earth? Not a meteorite but a crash landing of a DNA collection of another planet’s niche MMO hardcore gaming.

    It’d be sadder then what Douglas Adams suggested in Hitchiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

  10. Colinmarc says:

    Oh god, not Eve players. Anything but that.

    This is pretty terrible though. It’s not only that Tabula Rasa players would be repopulating the earth, but it’s the Tabula Rasa players dumb enough to pay money for this…

  11. Dreamhacker says:

    There is something on the wind… desperation!

  12. Stick says:

    Now I’m imagining something vaguely Galaxy Quest but rooted in EVE instead of StarTrek. And it’s awesome.

  13. Optimaximal says:

    That’s got to be an idea for an MMO in itself: “A dark future where humanity has been wiped out. Reborn from the stored DNA of the ‘greatest gamers’ of the 21st century do you have what it takes to ressurrect humanity. Leave your mark. Save Humanity. Operation Immortality coming soon…

    Does it come with a poster of Lara Croft/Character from DoA Volleyball/replace with VG hottie to aid in the DNA collection?

    Now I’m imagining something vaguely Galaxy Quest but rooted in EVE instead of StarTrek. And it’s awesome.

    I wouldn’t want to view any ‘historical documents’ that have been collated about a bunch of people who spend most of their time playing online games… Really!

  14. Seb Potter says:

    When I got that email today I was stunned.

    Tabula Rasa is still running?

  15. Chris Charabaruk says:

    How about the fact that his father was an astronaut? I’m sure that plays into his interest in space as well.

  16. Fashigady says:

    Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of “DNA sequenced, digitised, and fired off into space” by a crazy guy with “a shit-ton of money“.

  17. Ian says:

    Would this potentially give aliens everything they need to know to devise some sort of bio-weapon that causes us all to boil to death in our own gastric fluids or something?

  18. Vitalis says:

    I think Ian’s rumbled Garriot!

    Screw Gabe Newell and the Valve satellite, it’s Garriot sending information to our soon to become alien overlords with their anti-human rays we’ve got to worry about!

  19. GeorgeR says:

    Man, you’d want Eve players to be the source of Humanity’s repopulation? Sure they’d be great economists but yeeesh.

    I frankly wouldn’t want any MMO being the pool from which humanity’s salvation is pulled. Just saying.

  20. Nick says:

    They are shooting Garriot into space for Tabula Rasa?

    Bit harsh.

  21. EyeMessiah says:

    @Nick: Firm but fair.

  22. actellim says:

    it’s your actual DNA they’re shooting; the whole thing, not bits of it. they’ll need your blood, not your… erm… special fluids. no laura croft aids required; but probably some Novocaine involved if I know gamers.