Meet The Sandvich

By John Walker on August 19th, 2008 at 9:26 pm.

OM NOM NOM

Click.

, , .

67 Comments »

  1. TychoCelchuuu says:

    Unlimited sandviches! I think I might give up my shotgun. I’m excited to see how it plays.

  2. The Unshaven says:

    This? Fills me with warm joy.

    We’d pretty much guessed this was going to be Sandvich, but can you think of another game where a weapon would be replaced with food and have it make sense?

    Plus, the video is glorious, and well deserverved after Meet the Scout.

  3. Sum0 says:

    “Om nom nom nom nom.” But of course.

  4. Ryan says:

    “My blood! YOU PUNCHED OUT ALL MY BLOOD!”

  5. Nathaniel says:

    “Oh my god! I think he punched out all my blood!”

  6. rehashbodash says:

    Thank you Valve. You have given another free addon while generating new sales for TF2.

  7. Saflo says:

    For Christ’s sake Valve, just give us a TV series already.

  8. delfino furioso says:

    Name: Sandvich
    Role: Edible Device
    Weapons: Toothpick

    He was a good lunch who played by the rules, until the rules robbed him of everything he ever loved. Now he’s lettuce, tomato, cheese, bread, and a mysterious slice of meat, marching down your throat and straight to hell. He’ll satisfy your hunger. FOR REVENGE!

    oh lawl

  9. Servitor says:

    I want a poster of this to frame and put in my kitchen. Is that so wrong?

  10. Alex says:

    Thank God for Om Nom Nom.
    And yet again I consider risking the shittiness that is my PC + Team Fortress 2 for these splendid-lookin’ upgrades.

  11. Fumarole says:

    Valve, as always, continue to impress.

  12. Xander77 says:

    Copyright Om-nom-nom.

  13. Chaos Theory says:

    I think “Meat the Sandvich” would have been a better title, but now all that’s left is to wait for the update proper, go sniper, and finally earn Grey Matter.

  14. Charles says:

    And TF2 has jumped the shark!

  15. derFeef says:

    Epic, no other words, just epic…

  16. darthpugwash says:

    Oh well, I don’t anyone is going to miss the shotgun, are they?

    OM NOM NOM

  17. sockpuppetclock says:

    TF2 has jumped the sandvich, and into the TOASTER!

  18. Alex says:

    I think “Meat the Sandvich” would have been a better title

    That just makes it sound like some sort of sexual innuendo.

  19. CrashT says:

    Absolutely superb video…

  20. Okami says:

    @derFeef: No, not Epic. Valve!

  21. Little Green Man says:

    darthpugwash: Actually the Shotgun is quite useful when you are moving to the frontline of a map, as when an enemy jumps out at you the time it takes to ready your minigun is enough to be blown to pieces, whereas the shotgun will let you return fire straight away.

    Also, SANDVICH!!!!!!!!

  22. Rogue says:

    “AAARRGGH MY SPINE!”

  23. Crash says:

    best “Om nom nom nom” sound ever!

  24. Erlam says:

    Jesus, Valve does some things to TF2 I don’t like, but this is just hilariously good.

  25. Zak Canard says:

    That’s got to be the best “Meet The” yet.

  26. fishmitten says:

    We knew it was coming but, as always, Valve’s execution was spot on. Here’s hoping the rest of the content will be of the same quality when we all get to sample it first-hand tonight!

    I’m also after a poster-sized print-out, servitor… Nothing to be ashamed of there :)

  27. EyeMessiah says:

    Server uses different class tables?

    Are you insane?

  28. mechtroid says:

    I’d like to get the poster, but I’ll be satisfied with my Portal poster signed by Gabe Newell and various other people at Valve. :D

    EyeMessiah: That means the server hasn’t been updated yet.

  29. Andrew Doull says:

    Ah well. I designedguessed one out of three…

    Welcome to the picnic. OF DEATH.

  30. Zak Canard says:

    Hmm, downloaded the update and something doesn’t seem right already. Perhaps it’s got something to do with being awarded a handful of heavy achievements (including Konspicuous Konsumption) without even firing a shot or getting a stomach ache from overeating.

  31. Pidesco says:

    “You call that breaking my spine? You red team ladies wouldn’t know how to break a spine!”

  32. Different Alex says:

    AWESOME IN A BOX.

    That final sequence… Words cannot describe.

    Oh, and “COPYRIGHT OMNOMNOM”. Valve have once again toppled the pantheon of Olympus and given Chet and Eric control of funny.

  33. monchberter says:

    Valve are the new Matt Groening and TF2 is the new Simpsons.

    :)

  34. James G says:

    Oh no, update servers are too busy! Still, I got in a bit of a game earlier this evening, decided to play heavy because nex time I play everyone else will be. One good thing about class rushes on updates is that it often makes another class very useful, such as medics after the pyro rush. I suppose snipers will really get the upper hand this time, which is a shame as I suck at sniper.

  35. EyeMessiah says:

    WORLD OF BULLETS

  36. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Would I be shot for stupidity if I tried to marry a game company?

  37. MetalCircus says:

    So what does the sandwich do?

  38. SenseiJinx says:

    You call that breaking a spine?!

  39. AndyGusto says:

    “So what does the sandwich do?”
    Behold! the top right corner!
    or the link to the actual website.

  40. CaptainJorge says:

    Sandwich Good!

  41. darkripper says:

    have you guys tasted the awesomeness that is Arena Mode? I had some of my best tf 2 moments ever playing ravine tonight.
    Not a thing to do with CS, just pure, fast fun.

  42. IIshin says:

    You know what I just realized? In the meet the scout trailer, the heavy is actually wielding the shotgun and eating the sandwich at the same time. It makes me think that valve didn’t plan this beforehand. Anyways, how were rumors spread that the sandwich would be an unlockable, even before the achievements were announced?
    Meh, TF2 vanilla….

  43. hidden_7 says:

    So I just jumped back into some TF2 today (suprise!) only to find out that the Backburner health up had been removed. That was probably my favorite part of the Pyro pack! Add to the fact that everyone is heavies, and it’s kind of like, all anyone needs to do is LOOK at me and I die. Hilarious!

  44. DragonSix says:

    As I thought, arena is lame, the tf2 classes don’t fit, the gameplay feels awkward… but thankfully my favorite servers didn’t gave in, so I’m good xD

  45. RichPowers says:

    Who else besides Valve could make gaming memes out of a cake and sandwich? Brilliant.

    Seconded about the Sandvich poster. Spam Valve’s inbox with demands for one.

  46. James T says:

    Can’t say I’m liking Arena; it’s such a relief changing back to any of the other modes afterwards! Hopefully we’ll see the sawmill set attached to a more TF2-appropriate mode later.

    As for the sandwich, well, as I was saying in the last thread, I still don’t see any virtue in an achievement unlocking system — if I don’t have any of the Pyro’s (my most played class) unlocks, I doubt I’ll ever be at the point where I can employ Natasha or the Heavy’s new sanger (or the boxing gloves or the Backburner or the flare gun or the Axtinguisher or the Bludzuiger or the Kritzkreig or…) Bloody pointless, and you wouldn’t think a team directed by Gabe ‘we want the player to experience every bit of our work’ Newell would entertain the idea.

  47. Stella says:

    I really don’t see the problem with the unlock system…I got 2/3 of the Heavy unlocks today playing very casually (1-2 hours). I actually really like the time just after an update when I log onto a server and people are already doing great things with the new weapons. It allows me some “damn I want that!” time which makes the game even more fun for me.

    I’m loving arena…not something I would want to play exclusively but it allows some scenarios you just don’t see in the other modes. Just a few minutes ago the sole player remaining on my team, a heavy, was capping the point when he heard footsteps, turned around and saw an ubered sniper rushing at him with the machete. The sniper beat the heavy down to a sliver of health before the uber wore off and the heavy tore him to shreads, only to be cut down by a few well aimed blutsauger needles. It was great.

  48. wyrmsine says:

    I was never very good at CS:S, what with it’s serious! headshot! gameplay, but Arena is a real hoot. In smaller matches, picking your team becomes very important – don’t ALL be heavies on it, or my sniper will rack up teh points.

    Haven’t seen the alpine level yet, but cp_steel is awesome. Love the multiple route system.

  49. Nimic says:

    I’m not a big fan of unlockables, but I don’t really see many of the unlockables as big improvements. The class that got the best unlockables is probably the medic, where the medigun and the Ubersaw are both straight up upgrades (medigun doesn’t crit, but still). The Kritzkrieg isn’t that good.

    For the Pyro, I feel the backburner is the only real upgrade, and that’s only if you haven’t mastered the blowback thingy of the regular gun. The axe might be good too, but not extremely useful. The flare-gun is fun for a while, but I definitely think there’s more to be gained from using the shotgun. For the heavy, the gloves are fun for crazy melee action, but not very useful. Natascha might be good, but from an hour and a half as other classes than heavy I ran into several situations where the guy would have killed me if he hadn’t gotten the damage reduction.

    The Sandvich.. well, it’s awesome and fun, but how many times do you choose heavy when you don’t have a medic to heal you?

    Still, I love Valve and I love TF2. And as a bit of a sniper-whore, this update is fun! :D

  50. Angel Dust says:

    @James T
    Your ‘we want the player to experience every bit of our work’ argument doesn’t really apply how you think it does. In HL2, for example, you don’t get access to every gun and level right from the start you have to play through the game to ‘unlock’ them. This is what I believe is one of the things Valve are trying achieve with these unlockables, give that sense of progression you get from playing a single player game. You would have a point of the achievment bars had be set quite high but the required amount for the unlockable is easy for the player to achieve, all they have to do is play the game.

    @Nimic
    I don’t think Valve’s intention with the unlockables is to improve the classes drastically. It is simply just to give a few more options. Maybe you don’t like the flare gun, I prefer the shotgun too, but I have seen some people dominate with it so it depends on the player. Personally I use the Klitzkrieg Soldier combo quite often and if you Soldier is a good one the results are devestating.