Rock, Paper, Shotgun

An A-Z of Evil

Posted by Alec Meer on September 2nd, 2008 at 6:08 pm.

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Probably did a lot of charity work

Heh. I just stumbled across this randomly, having had no idea it had ever gone online – a pop piece I wrote for PC Gamer last March on PC gaming’s finest villains. Well, the finest that fit easily within an A-Z list, anyway. No, your favourite villain is not in there, and yes, shame on me for the oversight. How dare I call myself a PC gamer, etc. Why don’t you mention him/her/it/them/[no suitable pronoun in the English language] below instead?

Here’s a couple of random entries:

Ethereals – as seen in UFO: Enemy Unknown

The first X-COM did a splendid job of cleverly regurgitating sci-fi tropes to create its alien races, but these creepy, floating robes turned up late in the game and shook our faith in our own abilities. Unnervingly resistant to conventional weaponry and largely attacking with psychic powers rather than the guns of other races, they were the silent masterminds of the alien invasion of Earth. When you finally managed to capture one and dissect it for research, it turned out that, underneath the Jawa chic, it was a spindly pink thing a schoolboy could rough up.

The Pope – as seen in Medieval: Total War I and II
Calm down, Catholics – no matter how much he might look like Emperor Palpatine, we’re not calling the current Pope a villain. In Medieval, however, he’s a colossal pain in the behind. Consistently spoiling your fun (if France can’t be invaded, then what’s it there for?), he makes petulant demands of his own, then punishes you if you can’t meet them in the stingy amount of time allotted. He’s often your single greatest impediment to building a mighty empire. Revenge can be had in Medieval II, where you can kill or kidnap him and a new, similarly vulnerable Pope soon pops up – enabling mass papacide in the space of just of a few turns. It’s an angry atheist’s dream.

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68 Comments »

  1. The Sombrero Kid says:

    clickers craymen from thief

  2. phil says:

    Jack Krauser, you, a knife, good times.

  3. Ian says:

    I don’t care how maligned QTEs are (and most of them deserve it) the knife fight with Krauser rules. On console anyway, I haven’t been near Resi 4 on PC.

  4. The Sombrero Kid says:

    the reason they are maligned is because it would be much more awesome if they managed to design a 21st century game that achieves the same thing instead you get a short FMV game without the benefit of the FMV, it’s very lazy on the part of the designer

  5. cullnean says:

    finest villians?

    every one but my corp mates in eve

  6. Ian says:

    Yes but that “solution” to QTEs is surely implausible short of some sort of magical games controller of the future? Given the kind of (stupid?) shit that goes on in most of them anyway.

    Regardless, I wasn’t saying QTEs don’t deserve the stick they get and I’d happily see them booted from gaming, just that I very much enjoyed the fight with Krauser.

  7. The Shed says:

    I still don’t get why everyone detests QTE so much… Shenmue had it awesome, God of War had it awesome, and Resi 4 had it pretty good. It’s just a different manner of interaction.

  8. Ian says:

    Shenmue’s were an incredibly mixed bag and a fine reflection of why many people have a love/hate (or hate/hate) relationship with them. For example, I’d sooner use my own spine to make a pogo stick than play those series of QTEs that have you scaling a building by walking over planks spanning holes and broken floors for approximately 78 floors.

  9. The Sombrero Kid says:

    @The Shed
    it’s a lesser interaction, it’s less like you are doing those things it’s even less interaction than an FMV game so i take that back as it’s offensive to FMV game designers

  10. phil says:

    @Ian,
    Though Shenue II is not on PC, I’d nominate the butch, chainsaw wielding, lady boy chasing you up that dilapidated building as one of the most memorable villian encounters gaming, QTE or not.

  11. Ian says:

    I just had to search Youtube to remind myself of the part you were talking about. Pretty good but I’d say the part where the huge guy charges you down the corridor and you have to leap to the next building is even better. Not least because the first time I died after a panicky bit of button-mashing because it involved pushing multiple buttons simultaneously. :p

  12. Willem says:

    I quite like the idea of The Cradle being viewed as a villain, as has been mentioned.

    How about the Plague in Pathologic? Or the Executors? (I’m only 3 in-game hours into the game and I’m already scared senseless ;_; )

  13. @Ozzie:

    Didn’t say he was not featured, just that for many, Revan takes precedence over The Transcendent One.

  14. Blue team says:

    You left out the evilest of all: those Red team scum.

  15. Red team says:

    Add the filthy Blue team!

  16. sinister agent says:

    but perhaps not as *evil* as the ethereals.

    Ah! Excellent point, and the same goes for the chryssalids too, I suppose. Everyone but the ethereals was just a pawn really, however monstrous. I withdraw my objection.

  17. Pseudonym says:

    Like your list Alec. On my list, I would place someone from Freedom Force, either Nuclear Winter or the Timemaster. And the Kohr-Ah from Star Control 2.

    Oh, and the thing I like the best about Karras is that he is voiced by the same actor who voices Garret. Dude is talented.

  18. _Nocturnal says:

    Terese & Jeanette Voerman – as seen in Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines
    Neither your enemy nor your ally, totally unique and dangerously broken in the head, Jeanette was the improbably-breasted vamp used to promote the game. She had a nice line in both flirting with and threatening you, often in the same sentence. Then her buttoned-down, ice-cold sister Terese turns up, and before too long you have to pick sides. It’s not so much that discovering they’re the same person is a shock (a personality crisis brought on by parental sexual abuse), but rather the tragedy of it all – how can you convince someone to end a feud with a person who doesn’t exist?

    Wait, that doesn’t have anything to do with the true reason they’re evil!
    Namely, it’s because they send you to that goddamned hotel where you shit your pants off!
    Oh, the abuse I took from that place…

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