Jenny McCarthy Has A Warrior Inside Her

By John Walker on September 15th, 2008 at 12:33 pm.

Warrior Jenny McCarthy.

I like Jenny McCarthy. I think she’s pretty funny. I remember first seeing her on Singled Out and thinking she was great. My sister loves her pregnancy books. Look, full confession, I even kind of liked her sitcom, Jenny. It was awful, yes, but it seemed to know that. For seventeen episodes. But boy oh boy, does she suck in the clip from Red Alert 3 below.

Gemma Atkinson doesn’t come off much better. I wouldn’t possibly know about this, but the acting seems much like the in-between bits of the awful soft porn they used to show on Bravo after midnight when I was a student… I imagine. At any moment David Dachovny should appear reading a filthy letter to his dog. The sick weirdo.

Um, look, it’s a slow news day.

__________________

« | »

, , .

55 Comments »

  1. The_B says:

    Where’s Kieron when you need a comment on her polishing her knife eh?

  2. Chris Evans says:

    Uh…yeah right…i’m lost for words :|

  3. The_B says:

    So was she, by the looks…

  4. DeliriumWartner says:

    “I’ve got a warrior inside me.” Oh dear God. Could she have made it any worse? Well, probably, but still.

  5. Okami says:

    Must… resist.. urge.. to.. make.. really.. lame.. and.. possibly.. offensive.. joke..

    Anyway. All I could hear from that feature was: “They put me in a f***ing video game, I can’t believe it. But I need the money, so I guess it’s ok.”

  6. Ian says:

    If only there was an Academy Award for “Best Female Lead in a Video Game Cut Scene”.

  7. The_B says:

    And it would blatently goto the office furniture.

  8. Seniath says:

    I miss Kari Wuhrer (I know I’m not the only one).

  9. Esha says:

    @Okami

    And by the broken and rigid way she was speaking, I’ve half a mind to imagine (as does everyone) that she was reading from a script.

    “Sex appeal and nerd fantasies boost sales, LOL. Here, sit in front of camera… read this. Need motivation? Moneymoneymoneymoney.”

  10. Tom says:

    Hey, wait-wait-a-minute here.
    I thought only the red-commies employ torture and other evil and bad things…
    After seeing this, my views on the world and humanity come crushing down.

    Also. I think Tanja should not be a blond.

  11. MacBeth says:

    It’s fine with the sound off…

    What?

  12. Mr Pink says:

    Wow. Just, wow.

  13. The Sombrero Kid says:

    before i read this i had to say lol at the title!

  14. The Sombrero Kid says:

    lol CHEEEEEEEESSSSSEEEE ANNNNNDD HAAAAAAMMMM!!!!!!!

  15. The Dude says:

    It is well known as well that com-operative have all huge cleavage and can all be feature in the playboy center fold. God this is the most ridiculous cut scene since “all your base belong to us”

  16. Lu-Tze says:

    Aww she wont take it out for me?
    Wait, that was a double entendre right?

  17. Muzman says:

    It’s cutscene tastic! I don’t like these games and know nothing of them, so this is like some sort of Lost Skeleton of Cadavra-esque homage to crappy cutscenes of the past. I mean, it’s not meant to be all that serious right?

    Speaking of warrior inside her; McCarthy is quite the extreme anti vaccination kook. She recently got into a war of words with Amanda Peet about it (who comes off a lot smarter than much of her career would indicate). I don’t know why I’m bringin this up except that a battle of the C-list mothers game is probably what it’d take to get me into RTSs again.

  18. MetalCircus says:

    So what’s so bad? Red Alert was always hammy fun.

  19. cliffski says:

    I’m so fucking offended by this crap words cant express it. can we just set fire to the building where a bunch of twats thought this is what gaming needs, and watch the fuckers burn?
    I’m ashamed that some people on earth might see this and think this is the industry I work in.
    Grrrrrrrrrr whine gnashing of teeth,

  20. Acosta says:

    I wouldn’t mock her too much, with such muscles I think she could wipe the floor with any of us anytime.

    And I think C&C 3 required extreme acting skills. I mean, the actors had to deliver the more cheesy lines imaginable in long sequences without plane changes or cuts, without laughing, I can respect any actor able to do that.

  21. Bobsy says:

    @Acosta: In fairness, we don’t know how buff Cliffski is. I mean, maybe he could take Ms McCarthy. Either way, I think I’d like to see it. Go Cliffski!

  22. John Walker says:

    Muzman – it’s all terribly sad. She wrote these fantastic books on being pregnant, and then having a tiny baby – my sister who’s just done the same assures me they’re brilliant – and then just as her marriage breaks up she finds her kid has autism. And, unfortunately, has bought into the nonsense about the MMR. It’s not a fun time.

  23. Iain says:

    I think we’re losing sight of the real issue here. Why is Lieutenant Eva wearing a jacket with Sergeant’s stripes on them?

  24. The Sombrero Kid says:

    @cause it’s an alternate present where sergeants are Lieutenants

    P.S. parental vanity causes autism!

  25. Zarniwoop says:

    The point where I cracked up was when she said “…I’ve got the muscles for it, but never really got to utilize them!”

    There’s something about people who use the word ‘utilize’ in everyday conversation that just makes me go all giggly.

  26. silencer says:

    Sounds like a reference to a porno.

  27. Shadowmancer says:

    Good to know that Red Alert 3 is continuing the tradition of hiring the first actors at the door routine and having bad lines and acting (at lease EA got something right in the past weeks).

  28. soviet_ says:

    David Duchovny is the man

  29. Gorgeras says:

    McCarthy’s not just bought into MMR, but the entire anti-vaccination movement in the US.

    MMR isn’t much of an issue in the US, where the vaccine preservative Thimerosal was the favoured target of speculation over Autism. The anti-vaxxers are running a PR campaign to by-pass science altogether, so even though they talk about MMR online and in private, they don’t do so in public, the same way JABS in the UK don’t talk about Thimerosal in public because they focus on MMR, but do so where most people aren’t listening. In truth, they are all anti-vaccine, ALL vaccines.

    Before Jenny McCarthy got into the ‘Autism is an ‘orrible monster that snatched my child phase’ and joined up with anti-vaxxers, she was in the ‘Autistic children are special phase’ where she followed the Indigo-child cult, running her own website which she closed down and covered up. On that site she basically said the complete opposite about Autism she says now. Whilst both are utterly anti-science, at least the Indigo crap wasn’t pro-actively harmful.

  30. RichPowers says:

    I’m almost embarrassed to admit that I once liked C&C. Between this and the OMGEXXXTREME BATTLECASTS!11, it’s like EA’s borrowing from pro-wrestling promos or something.

    If RA3 is anything like C&C3, the game won’t be worth playing.

    /goes off to play RA2

  31. andy says:

    for both game acting and C&C in general acting, that is actually not bad.

    heck, that’s actually not bad for a lot of movie acting i’ve had to endure lately.

  32. Matt says:

    Red Shoe Diaries Alert 3? Sign me up!

  33. Zuhtu says:

    God, that was terrible. It made me miss the original Tanya even more. And I’m not talking about Kari Wuhrer.

  34. sbs says:

    “NYET PLEA–!” indeed

  35. Calabi says:

    Honestly it wasnt that bad, their hotness surely makes up for any subparedness in their acting.

  36. Weylund says:

    I very much doubt the vaccination theory. My oldest is autistic, and if I look objectively at myself, my wife, and our respective parents, I can see where heredity did its work. I see the same thing in other parents of kids on the autism spectrum.

    That said, autistic kids have a tough row to hoe. Imagine the awkwardness that you would feel at a party where you were a stranger and didn’t feel like you could talk and have people understand you. Then imagine feeling that feeling, magnified by two or three times, all the time. And that’s if they have high-functioning autism (i.e. their autism isn’t completely debilitating).

    It doesn’t do the kids any good having their parents running around speculating about “why it happened”. Just deal with it already, your kid’s the one who you should be focusing on.

    And this clip was just awful.

  37. Kadayi says:

    I think they need to try aiming a bit higher with their casting tbh. C&C Tiberium wars had some decent people, but since then the standards have slipped, and everyones just turning up for a paycheque. I can only think Gemma Atkinson good chosen because she seems to be flavour of the month with all the lads mags, though when you do manage to drag your eyes away from her magnetic surgically enhanced cleavage for long enough you’ll soon realise she’s a bit of a munter at the end of the day. Why not go after someone like Rosamund Pike, posh, pretty and can act. Also Katee Sackhoff would of been a given for Tanya tbh.

  38. Real Horrorshow says:

    Reading these comments, I have to wonder how many people actually remember what Red Alert 2 and Yuri’s Revenge were like.

  39. Fumarole says:

    Finding fault with acting in CnC games is akin to finding fault with the plot in porn movies.

  40. Gorgeras says:

    What? You think the plot would be better if he just fixed the washing machine and then left??

  41. Erlend M says:

    It’s like Leigh Alexander said, this game is all about war and boobs. Don’t try to look for style and class here.

  42. Kadayi says:

    I’m sure there are better cleavages that can act out there.

  43. Larington says:

    Uhh, I’m gonna give up, I’m obviously not going to get anything clever or deep (Unless its deep cleavage, apparently) from this one.

    Never gonna let you down,
    Never gonna run around,
    and cap your base.

  44. malkav11 says:

    Ahhh, continuing in the fine tradition of C&C cutscenes. Though I think I found them a bit less embarassing when I didn’t immediately recognize half of the actors performing in them.

  45. dhex says:

    can we just set fire to the building where a bunch of twats thought this is what gaming needs

    the building is the world and the twats are everyone who buys the stuff that fuels the psychodemographic data that makes these decisions financially viable.

  46. Scandalon says:

    Muzman normally would win automatically by referencing Lost Skeleton of Cadavra – however, LSoC was actually having fun, and was intentionally (or at least, knowingly) bad. This, however, is just plain bad.

  47. Novack says:

    Im the only one worried about this game beeing much probably rated “T” like the previous RAs, meaning that kiddos starting (theoretically) from 13 years will be playing a game where the heroes are shown torturing people?

    And this only months after the yanks started supporting torture?

    My godness, I hate to say this here, but sometimes bad cutscenes are the less of the problems.

    WAKE UP Jake.

  48. megaman says:

    Just adding to the list of things that suck in this trailer (and I already thought this when watching the last trailer): why does Lt. Eva look like she is wearing the suit of her dad, and why does the badge on the top of Tanya look like it has been fixed to it with a pin?
    Is it so hard these days to find good clothing and tailoring?

  49. Nallen says:

    Man.

    She looks great.

  50. KindredPhantom says:

    Slow news day is slow..

Comment on this story

XHTML: Allowed code: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>