Red Alert 3’s just a week away now, but that’s no reason for EA to stop pumping out ludicrous trailers. Three more now, and I don’t doubt there’ll be others. This time there’s one for each of the playable factions, intercutting game action with hammier acting than a pig-only production of Hamlet. (Yes, I went there).
Allies!
Empire of the Rising Sun!
Soviet!
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Pun of the day!
Now, let’s piel on the offender!
“Whoever plays that russian bird with the pseudo-air hostess outfit should remain in that outfit and keep the russian voice for the rest of her life. With them she is SMOKING, without she is meh!”
Tish and fipsy. That’s the rather wonderful Ivana Milicevic, who is completely gorgeous as The Woman In Black in House, and Ilsa Trinchina in Chuck.
Feel wrong!
“Speaking of pears, I need pear juice but it isn’t widely available in the UK. It seems that, compared to our continental cousins, what we have in flavoursome crisps is balanced by a lack of variety in fresh juices. Pear juice is ace if you do a shot of rum followed by a shot of pear juice. All hint of a burn is gone. Surely it is God’s own juice.”
I’ve been living on the mainland for 2 years and this is by far the most important fact I have learned. Everyone needs to start badgering pub staff to get some pear juice in for when I get back.
She looks rather like a certain presenter off BBC News.
KG: “Something like gooseberry can go fuck itself. Other than that, go for pie!”
Isn’t American Pie designed to fuck itself?
I was warning everyone about pie years ago, now that everything I predicted turned out to be right, everyone still has their head in the sand. We were promised that pie would not come with restrictive measures to curb the use of stolen trade recipies that don’t deter pie thieves but inconvenience and stamp on the face of legitimate pie eaters.
They said that if this happens, they would instate a competitive system of pastry economics giving power back to us and not an arbitrary and untransparant decision making commitee that answers to no one. So far this has failed to materialise and we’ve yet to hear any comment at all. Posts on the pie fansites about this get deleted EVEN THOUGH THEY DON’T BREAK ANY RULES OR FORUM GUIDELINES. They’re respectful and stick to well-known facts based on what the pie-makers own press releases said on their websites before they deleted. Google cache is your enemy here guys.
If carebears and anti-pie people don’t like pie, there are at least two dozen high-scoring pastries and ambigious savoury-confectionary foodstuffs on the market that cater exactly to their needs. So why do they have to come and ruin pie?
EA should stop spamming.
I just want to say that due to this thread, I have read up on the differences between pie and cake on teh internets, and the english language is totally confusing. Why does cheesecake (yum!) count as a pie but has cake in the name? Does all that have a system or is it just a good old conspiracy?
Bombay Duck isn’t a duck.
Sweetbreads aren’t bread (or sweet for that matter!)
Mincemeat doesn’t have any meat in it.
Peanuts aren’t nuts.
Cheesecake is neither pie nor cake.
Cheesecake is our miniature God, built by the hands of Man.
@Pear pie: Pear pie is far too bland once cooked. If you can cook a shell and garnish / fill it with some fresh-sliced pear I think you’ve got something.
@Apple pie: Pick some fresh Granny Smiths for your apple pies. If you cook them just right, you’ll still get that crunch.
These people should be the ones splitting their game into three segments, not Blizzard!
Cake?
Apparently, the cake is a pie.
Woah. Woke up this morning to this ham breakfast. Alas poor Yorrick!
Pie? The American-class of fruit pies (as referred to in the clip above) were originally developed for breakfast. So a Breakfast slice is not only right, it’s canonical.
Pears don’t work too well in pies. When you make a fruit pie, there are two ways to go: baked (Apple, Cherry, Lemon, Blueberry are the ones I prefer to make) and baked crust, uncooked fruit (raspberry, blackberry, strawberry, all of these usually with a glaze). Either the fruit maintains its taste but acquires a smooth, but not undifferentiated consistency when cooked (and pears have too much water, and to do them right they’d become syrup. Much better to cook them and serve them with chestnuts and venison), or they’ve got a strong berry flavor that works really well.
Baked pies are like an evening dress, and unbaked ones are like a thong bikini. Pears are pear-shaped.
Had some delicious lentil soup for breakfast, with some baguette fresh off the bakery.
I think blueberry pie might be the try of choice, of even raspberry. We plucked a lot of raspberries not to starve after I and asome friends made some old people trip to a farm where people tried to sell us matresses, and we declined to buy any. So we got shunned and we didn’t get the complimentary wurst package, and me and my friends decided to go home by train, which included a 6 hour run through the woods constantly saking ourselves whether we were lost and had to die, and we also constantly ate raspberries. So yeah, good fuit. We also drank a lot of Schnaps while finding our way. It was a highly enyoyable trip, all in all.
Americans do pumpkin pie. Nothing more American than a caramel-colored lump that slides out of a fat can, which you then smear around like a naughty toddler in a thawed Pillsbury crust and then cook for a spell. Then it slides right into your fat heart for Thanksgiving. A high Cool Whip to substance ratio is ideal.
Do they have these sorts of brands over there? Names like this are canon in the American lazy-piesmith market.
The only pie I can recall having myself was an apple pie with some cinnamon in it. Was pretty good, really. I miss that pie.
I may buy this game solely for the plot, it looks utterly hilarious.