By Kieron Gillen on November 25th, 2008 at 3:19 pm.

We haven’t posted about QWOP yet, have we? It’s the webgame that’s turned up in most of my game related conversations for the last few week or so, so it’s probably best we give it at least a nod. Its a running game, with direct control of thighs and calves, and is the most ill-conceived attempt to directly simulate human experience since Trespasser’s sinister floating limb. Brrr. In a real way, it’s this year’s Sumotori Dreams. And a couple of videos beneath the cut…
How it’s done:
How you’ll be doing it:
So – how far have you got, people?


6.8 Metres… many retries… got -0.5 and -0.8 on a few of the first ones… ouch.
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i got 50.1 on my 5th try, i just spasmed until i got to the 50m hurdle, i couldnt get over it
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I’ve completed it!
The way to do it is hold down W and P and press Q and O alternately. It’s a struggle to get over the hurdle but when you do you’re home free.
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My furthest has been about 40 metres. :<
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I managed 1.5m… Most attempts have gone backwards :(
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2 meters :)
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3m on my second attempt, haven’t managed more than 1m since except in the wrong direction!
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2 metres so far. Oh bugger me.
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First try -1.4m, best effort so far 1.9m. Not quite easy now is it.
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2.3m and I feel like a bloody PRO!
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lol u are a pro its hard the furthest ive got is 19.5 but only once
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*sigh*, my sinister floating limb alienates people too.
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Ahahahaha. That is so great.
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15m running and then I faceplanted myself.
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New low: -3M
http://img160.imageshack.us/img160/3488/emdeehayzg1.png
Darn wall, stopped my unprogress.
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21m by accidentally falling onto his knees and then shuffling along. Couldn’t do it again.
Much easier to go backwards, but there’s a wall in the way!
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2.1m.
I understand how running works even less than I thought.
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My record is 25m, but my friend got past 100! o_O
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I worked out a good technique for going backwards.
But forwards my best is 0.8m.
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32.8 meters.
My strategy (tips):
1. Tap O gently to place your back (back being, away from the camera, or left foot) foot just in front of your front foot (right foot).
2. Then alternate pressing P+Q and W+O. Repeat until you fall.
Once you get the timing down it gets pretty easy. Gradually you’ll learn to compensate for “very small” mistakes, but the game will ALWAYS punish you for even just “small” mistakes. My biggest problem is that my ankle always seems to collapse in unrealistic ways and plow me into the ground.
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Quop – video gaming personality of the year?
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ALSO!
Play this in the background of another window:
http://www.youtube.com/v/TYJzcUvS_NU&loop=1&autoplay=1
It’s the running song! It totally helps me play.
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…runner-up, his brother Qwop
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An amazing 9.4 metres.
Although my progress reminds me of Donald O’Connor from this clip, starting from the 2:45 mark.
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“Although my progress reminds me of Donald O’Connor from this clip, starting from the 2:45 mark.”
You mean you got QWOP to run up the wall to the left, do a backflip, and land perfectly? That’s incredible!
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I inched along the ground to about 19m before I got a little too cocky and tried to stand up and do a spot of actual running.
The Cricket game on the same site is a brilliant time-waster too, although not quite so hilarious.
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@Corion:
Sort of. The wall was imaginary, the landing a mess but the backflip worked.
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I’ve played that “Little Master” cricket game before, and played it a lot. I love it even if the ball has a tendency to hit the ground and stay there just out of reach.
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Liked the cricket game better – a score > 1 is always a morale booster!
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I beat it by dragging my left leg along the ground for over ten minutes. The hurdle at 50 meters took some effort to get over, but I did it by sort of hopping. Managed to jump 0 meters in the sandbox as well!
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@ Corion: Chariots of Fire does actually kick in if you start running properly, either that or I’ve started mentally soundtracking games. Which would be a little worrying.
@ Ian: Yeah, it can be a little glitchy at times. The wicket has a tendency to fall of its accord and I’ve had balls which stop dead in mid-air. Great fun nonetheless.
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Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!
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Actually, the two games should be combined – running for a quick single might prove to be ‘challenging’, though.
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sorry for the wrong link
http://img139.imageshack.us/my.php?image=19708724dg0.png
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I finished it!
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Another thing that irks me in that cricket game is when you smack the ball and it’s arrowing toward the ’4′ area, only for another to be bowled and send the ball out. -_-
Of course I don’t moan when it sends the new ball through the 4 and the one I’ve hit into the 6. =D
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I liked the last of their three games the best, since it contains ninjas (too many).
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14.2m. I stopped after realising that Firefox was suddenly using 1GB or RAM.
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After D posted I went to check out their other games, found the cricket one.
I hit one ball back only for it to hit the next one coming, and suddenly it dawned on me, the perfect way to improve cricket:
MultiBall!!! (plus a giant tarantula.)
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It’s fun, though what makes it frustrating is that you have no control of the upper torso. What makes walking/running so easy in real life is that you can lean forward or backwards to compensate for a misstep. That said it would be tough trying to coordinate center of mass while pumping those legs to Chariots of Fire.
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Don’t like it.
I can’t freaking *jog*. What the hell is that? He just collapses because he’s putting too much weight forward every single time. Running does not work that way! *Rage!*
But I guess that’s not the point of the game. Meh, not my thing.
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An impressive -1.5 metres. I don’t count my record of 2.0, since that involved the runner leaping forward and crashing onto his skull, whereas I managed a balletic shuffle-step to reach -1.5.
I like how it presents the complexity involved in a simple act like running, conveyed by a running simulator that’s nothing like running whatsoever.
No really, I love that.
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8.9 metres, and then usually my runner’s foot scrapes the ground and there’s no way back from it.
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Ooooh, 16.7 this time. Again, I can usually get a good pattern going but once I make the smallest mistake it’s pretty much game over.
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0.6 metres! I’m about as bad at this as I was at Toribash, though at least here I can sort of understand what it is I’m doing with each key press.
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Ack – thought I had a good rhythm going, keeping Qwop running on his toes. Sadly only lasted for 7.4 metres before the faceplant.
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I hate this one. Of all the webgames why did this one get posted and not Auditorium?
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I managed to finish it by getting down on one knee and spasming my way to the end. Took a hurdle with me all the way to the sand pit too!
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1.6 metres. I’m getting at least 3 if it takes me all night.
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Pissing myself here.
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Two meters. I think I’ll stick with Sumotori, as my petty little brain can’t even begin to understand the controls here.
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This is all I have to say. I was sooooo irritated.
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Without context, without playing the game, that second video is absolutely hysterical. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages.
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All I can think is this a fine Ministry of Silly Walks simulator
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I really can’t understand the kind of person who is willing to shuffle along all the way to the end. I quickly realised I could do this, but kinda’ considered it cheating, and it would be super boring. And did you really expect something amazing to happen at the end??
I did play the game a lot though. My best was just a bit of 20 meters. I found that I could occasionally correct tiny mistakes, but through muscle memory only. If I made a wrong move and tried to think about what button to hit to fix it I would fail every time. I really have no idea which button does what. But if I’m not thinking about it too much I can manage to correct mistakes and even pop right back up after doing the splits.
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About 30 metres. I got the guy kneeling and could’ve crawled to 100m, but progress was so slow it would have taken me too long.
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It’s great if you play the audio from the first video while watching the second.
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Your linking reminds me to enquire about an Advent Game-O-Calendar this year, as it was so fantastic last year. Om nom nom etc.
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It tells me that I press Q and W to control my thighs, but my thighs do not seem to be under my control…
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Playing this kinda makes me glad I’m not a calf muscle.
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But a bag of chips in his hand and you’ve got next year’s big thing. Binge Drink: the Aftermath
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I’ll wait for the sequel, where they finally put in ankle control.
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20 Meters
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All three games on foddy.net are worthwhile, but I’ve spent waaaayyy too much time over the last few days with Too Many Ninjas! Despite being just a reaction-matcher in theory, it’s actually a subtly assembled and near-perfectly balanced videogame. The analogue variety in enemy and projectile tracks and per-pixel collision on the sword are its soul, demanding that you extrapolate, catalogue and prioritise multiple vectors with both speed and precision. The NES ambience and slight animation delay of the moves also helps keep it interesting, as does the vital inclusion of a ‘death-cam’ freezeframe to let you know exactly where you got hit.
NB: Diagonals are happily accepted, though I’ve established that down-diagonals are completely unnecessary for survival (score-boosting only) and upper-diagonals are useful only at the highest levels of play, if at all. I’m not there yet, my high score is somewhere around 30 with a mean of 15-20. If there is no strategy involved in the gameplay, there is at least strategy in changing yourself to be better at the gameplay, ala Geometry Wars et al.
With the sword’s resting position moved in a few pixels to keep it from 100% impaling rear melee and blocking rear leg shuriken, and some lower shuriken launches for shallower tracks to incentivise diagonal strikes, it would be a perfect game.
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http://i36.tinypic.com/xkpz4g.jpg
WHATS UP BITCHES
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YEAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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i got 88 meters and would be more i just closed it because i was bored
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I got 100 meters at college, knocked over the fence and carried on to the sand pit at the end…. never played it since.
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“http://i36.tinypic.com/xkpz4g.jpg
WHATS UP BITCHES”
Are you using windows 98? Are you living in some kind of hut in the third world or something?
Maybe if you spent a bit less time running like a retard you could afford a computer from this century.
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“Are you using windows 98? Are you living in some kind of hut in the third world or something?
Maybe if you spent a bit less time running like a retard you could afford a computer from this century.”
Uuuuh, that’s Windows XP.
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I got 100.8! very, very slowly.
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i reached 105.5m on my first try! :) just hold down w and p and tap q, although it takes like 5 mintues -_-
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i got 100m!! i just lightly kept tapping p,o,w, then q.
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got 100.8, theres a long jump at the end
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i made it to 13.4 on my 3rd try…….i fail at life -____-
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100.6m mhm… i have publicly just declared i have no life
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Finished it. 50 meters is a hurdle and at the end 100 meters is a jump. but you don’t need to jump them, i pretty much dragged the hurdle from the 50 meter line all the way to the end. It calls you a National Hero when you finish.
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Got to 83…. FML
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took me a few tries but i got to 43
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100.5m. YEAHHHH http://img411.imageshack.us/i/qwopy.jpg/
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I got 38 meters :D
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OH MY GEEZUS!!!! I JUST BEAT IT!!
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It was actually quite simple. :3
I didn’t jump though, I wasn’t sure how.
All I really did was help down W and P and kept hitting Q and O at first fast, then slower, then fast again. Taking some short breaks. It’s really easy once you get the hang of it. :)
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i got 53.1 meters just crawling with Q & W
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I got to 60.1m. I lost because of hurdle. My guy was almost crawling.. :I
This game is damn hard. After that, I couldn’t get near that again. Kept getting 20′s and stuff.
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this dude needs better shoes =/
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5.7m PERSONAL BEST!
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CAPTCHA I made it 100.3 meters using WP strategy! :D
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Omg 8.9 meters! thanks for the tips!
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I finished all 100m on my second try , just drag your self over there! XD Took me over 15min though.
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I got 100.2 meters.. took a lil over 30 minutes.. i used the knee – hop method all the way down. even got it on video i was so excited. barely any practice as well. 50m mark took at least 5 minutes to hop over it. eventually got over it and i was home free
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anyone else notice the random brestfeeding video?
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I got 100.1 on the second try. No joke.
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49.2 meters on my first try, but knocked over hurdle :S
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my best=100.3 :) i cant fig out how to do the jump tho
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49.2m. A hot chick smiled at me and i lost my focus.
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i got to 100.5 but i was like humping the air it was wierd
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i gotsa 100.1m
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OMG i got to 96.8 and i fell back wards, i limped my way there, took 30 mins
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6.8m with actually runnign not tbag walking
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i took the damn hurdle bar with me to the finish line and got a score of 101.7
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my tip is :
just go to finish on your knee . it’s simple :D i did it and i made it :D
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i got 9.3m on my forth try but i have figured out how to run at the biggining i just cant keep doing it on time
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i got all 100m, but i used the second method and it took me a solid 8 min :p now im just trying to actually learn how to run.
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101.7 Meters. I feel like a god.
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