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RPS Tees: The Perfect Christmas Gift, For Yourself
Written by Alec Meer on November 28, 2008 at 12:54 pm.
Imagine if there were some way to tell the world that you regularly visit Rock, Paper, Shotgun, other than by shouting at people on the internet. A way to announce that, were it possible, you would gladly donate all your organs and blood to the proud, tired men who write this site. Unfortunately The RPS Blood-Eater 3000 is still in the design stages, but to make the wait a little easier, we do at last have some official t-shirts. Yes! Cloth and websites, together in close harmony.
If you cast your minds back to the turn of the century, you may recall we ran a compo for you lot to design some RPS shirts. Two of the many splendid entries to that contest are, as of today, now available in real t-shirt form, via popculture torso-cladding experts Splitreason.com. Depending on the uptake, we’ll be looking to introduce further designs at some point, but for now please enjoy the most excellent work of Matt Breit (the orange, shotgunny one) and John Roberts (the black, hivemindy one):
Order ‘em from here. There is no finer gift you could give yourself this holiday season. Including love. These are definitely better than love.
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89Comment on this story — Share/save/Digg this story
Tags: feature, merchandising, no these won't make us rich, t-shirts
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Meat Circus says:
When can I get my John Walker posable action figure?
November 28th, 2008 at 1:00 pm
gaijin says:
mmm, but are they better than self-love? will they make me go less blind?
November 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Meat Circus says:
@Alex McLarty:
Does this mean anything to you:
“1. What types of t-shirts do you use?
Split Reason offers only high-quality 100% cotton Alstyle Apparel, and Gildan Ultra Cotton T-shirts.”
November 28th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Senethro says:
Damnit, gaijin beat me to it.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
John Walker says:
Just come over to my house, and you can put my limbs in amusing poses for as long as you like.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Meat Circus says:
As long as we can do dressing up too.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Aldaris says:
John, do you realised that you just posted that on the internet? People will actually try to do that, some of them live in or near london.
Some may even know where you live.
It was nice reading your part of RPS. You will be remembered.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Yargh says:
Remember to take many many photos.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:11 pm
John Walker says:
Well, I was limiting my invitation to Meat, who already knows where my house is. Other people have to provide written applications before being considered for posing me opportunities.
Also, fortunately, I’m miles from London.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:13 pm
Lu-Tze says:
Grah expense! I might buy one anyway but jeez that’s some expensive postage. More UK retailers please.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Down Rodeo says:
Hm. If I get paid soon (I do) then I might just have to get both of these (make the shipping moneys worth it see). The question is, what size? And should I give one of these away? Questions questions.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
quin says:
…it’s ethic material, suitable for winter…
November 28th, 2008 at 1:35 pm
lobsterjohnson says:
No talls :(
November 28th, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Bobsy says:
No sale until I see the entire RPS team modelling these. And ONLY these.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
AndrewC says:
Man, harsh on Eskil.
November 28th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Koopa says:
Only if the second one came in a different colour, I don’t wear brown! (or “texas orange”)
November 28th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Pags says:
I only wear cool band shirts of cool bands because I don’t want the world to know I’m not cool. Is that cool?
November 28th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Stuk says:
I can’t find the logic of using a USA retailer for a website by UK based guys… oh Loooogic! Loooogic! Where are you boy?
November 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
We may be based in the UK, but the bulk of our readers aren’t. You may have noted the flak we get when some of the compos we run are UK-only…
November 28th, 2008 at 2:02 pm
Malagate says:
Pags, if you have to ask if it’s cool, that automatically makes it and subsequently you not cool. Damn your uncool ways!
RPS cannot win when it comes to geography, if only there was a global competition and cotton apparel generation facility, possibly one that’s in orbit so that t-shirts and boxed goodies can be launched directly to your door.
Edit: Also Alec, is that provable fact or is it that whenever a competition comes up they’re the most vocal ones as all the U.K. readers are busily entering the competition rather than commenting? We need some kind of RPS demographertronator to know the truth!
Also when did this edit function come back? It’s more then welcome to stay.
November 28th, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Pags says:
Not if I’m so cool that I don’t even keep track of what’s cool anymore.
I say we repurpose the Hubble telescope as an enormous t-shirt launcher, like the ones at (American) football games.
November 28th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Johnathon says:
@Malagate – I’m not Alec, but yes, it’s a provable fact… Americans obviously like eating our bandwidth more than those from our ’sunny’ island ;)
November 28th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
James Tao says:
Wait! As a Angry-Internet-Man in training I’m obliged to reveal the truth to you all. This isn’t about providing comfortable, fashion-friendly, ethical (?) garments to all of you lovely people! No, this is about money! Money that they will no doubt use to fund their burgeoning drug-habits, or the latest sacrificial goat for their temple to e-Satan!
Shame on you, RPS! Shame!
… I’ll take three.
November 28th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Ian says:
Are these shirts free of DRM?
November 28th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
x25killa says:
But, but… I want the actual rock, paper and shotgun!
November 28th, 2008 at 2:28 pm
AndrewC says:
I love that the Internet was invented by Yorkshiremen.
November 28th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
Stuk says:
I want an RPS demographimeter! And a T-shirt. And a kitten.
November 28th, 2008 at 2:47 pm
Jochen Scheisse says:
You should announce that a percentage of the earnings goes toward reincluding the edit function.
November 28th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Pod says:
A UK website using a Canadia based supplier, you say? Hmph, I say. HMPH.
Well, I might still buy one anyway…
November 28th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Malagate says:
See Pags, you’ve pretty much got it, especially with the point about turning the hubble telescope into a t-shirt cannon; for the cool elite do not follow trends, they make them.
Yes Johnathon, I figured there would be a way of knowing in terms of ISP addresses or some such internet majickery that would tell you who’s eating up the precious bands. Thanks for that, I would like to see some kind of percentage though, just to know exactly how afraid I should be.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:21 pm
In the last month, just over 60% of our traffic was from the US, and around 19% from the UK. Of course, we love our countrymen and our colonists equally.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:25 pm
Bobsy says:
No no. Clearly we need to forceably repatriate that 60% to the UK. They’d prefer it over here. We have a SEXY recession!
November 28th, 2008 at 3:36 pm
Dante says:
@ Ian
No, I’m sorry, no more than three people can wear each t-shirt at once.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Ian says:
Then I’m going to pirate one. It’s the only answer.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Dac====Tammolives says:
I am sad. I would’ve killed for the Horace the Endless Bear shirt.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:52 pm
Adjust Your Set says:
“You should announce that a percentage of the earnings goes toward reincluding the edit function.”
Would buy for this reason.
People in the UK won’t get the visual joke anyway: we call it scissors, paper, stone.
November 28th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
Ian says:
I’m in the UK and I think of it as “stone, paper, scissors.”
November 28th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Shanucore says:
@Bobsy A… sexcession?
I’ll get my coat. And a fine tshirt.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Lake says:
In your face, rest of the world. USA! USA!
Can I get them on Steam?
November 28th, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Jochen Scheisse says:
Well, we Teutons tend to call it by it’s maiden name, Schnick Schnack Schnuck. Schnick Schnack Shotgun would also be a nice name for the page once you have 100.000.000.003 visitors per day and can afford to localize it.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
johnny_cuts says:
I’m in the UK and I think of it as “rock, paper, scissors”.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:24 pm
Bobsy says:
@Shanucore:
No, a sexcession is a sexy secession! THIS OUGHT TO BE CLEAR TO EVERYONE!
November 28th, 2008 at 4:27 pm
Owen says:
I live in the UK but nearly always read RPS at work, but it routes via Holland so NER to your stats!
November 28th, 2008 at 4:28 pm
McFuzz says:
I’ve always known it as ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. Who are you weirdos who call it “scissors, paper, stone” or the like, and where did you come from?
November 28th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
AndrewC says:
Schnick Schnack Shotgun is my new favourite thing.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
subedii says:
Also in the UK, ALSO call it Rock, Paper, Scissors.
“SPS” makes it sound like an infection of some kind.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Ixtab says:
I also must add my voice to johnny cuts’ in saying that I’m from the UK and have only ever heard it called “Rock. Paper. Scissors.” I might buy the black one but I am a poor student.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
alco75 says:
USD.
Argh.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Adjust Your Set says:
Odd. Regional variations? I grew up around London/Essex (in the 80s), and never heard a non-American call it RPS before this site.
November 28th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Dante says:
Always been Rock Paper Scissors to me, I grew in in Birmingham.
Midlands thing? Kieron’s from around here isn’t he?
November 28th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
NeonWraith says:
You should still have got a UK distributor, just to irritate the American readers some more. Besides, it sucks that everytime I order something from Split Reason or ThinkGeek, I get screwed over paying extra tax on it. Besides, there’s a recession on! Isn’t it your patriotic duty to use UK based outlets or somesuch? :P
November 28th, 2008 at 4:53 pm
pepper says:
So how many of us really are Dutch? Since the title read that a few weeks ago!
Sexy shirts BTW!
November 28th, 2008 at 4:55 pm
Danny says:
Well, I’m Dutch. And Split Reason is not taking my money again. Last time I paid more taxes than the clothing was worth :(
November 28th, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Subject 706 says:
And in Sweden we call it “Sten, påse, sax”, which translates to “Rock, bag, scissors”. We’re different, we are.
November 28th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
Skurmedel says:
I agree that Thinkgeek extra tax is extra shit. They also use the most expensive shipping service possible or something as I can easily reach a shipping cost higher than the actual item I’m trying to buy.
November 28th, 2008 at 6:03 pm
Alexander says:
dutch..
November 28th, 2008 at 6:27 pm
Katsumoto says:
! As soon as I have a job and money and all that, i’ll definitely be able to fork out for the extra shipping and whatnot. Until then, I’ll just have to tell people in the street that I read RPS so that they definitely know.
Also, 20% of your traffic vs 60%… but take into account there are over three times as many people in the US… AHA! Quick, only sell to the UK. Also, make all your competitions Midlands only for kicks. Then and only then will I be happy.
November 28th, 2008 at 6:39 pm
The Poisoned Sponge says:
Just so everyone knows, there’s a 20% sale on Splitreason today, if you put in the promo code BLACKFRIDAY. So do it today, and save money!
November 28th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Lake says:
That code works. Thanks.
November 28th, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Noc says:
I will not be buying any of these shirts, because I object to the nature of the CRM* used.
What RPS isn’t telling you is that these shirts are physically incapable of being copied; the CRM will actually tear your shirt in half if you try to pull it into two parts. Also, only a single person is allowed to wear the shirt at a time. If you want two people to wear the shirt, you need to buy two shirts. (There are workarounds for this, but they require the two users to be in close physical proximity, and are unworkable for general use.)
I am sick of RPS treating its customers as potential criminals and bootleggers simply because they want to share their shirt with their friends. The attached CRM is a draconian abuse of the Laws of Physics to enforce RPS’s financial agenda, and I for one will not be condoning this with my purchase, and am registering my complaint with a strongly worded comment on the Internet.
YOU are the reason t-shirt wearing is dying, RPS. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.
*Cotton Rights Management
November 28th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
roBurky says:
Ooh. Can I get one like in the image at the top of this post instead, please?
November 28th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
RichPowers says:
I really dig the minimalist RPS logo. Maybe expand the lineup to include mousepads, stickers, coffee mugs, and lingerie?
November 28th, 2008 at 9:41 pm
Pace says:
How about an RPS swimsuit calendar?
November 28th, 2008 at 10:06 pm
Frans Coehoorn says:
Dutch as well. And I want one. T-shirt that is. Hmm…..
November 28th, 2008 at 11:11 pm
James G says:
Scissors, Paper, Sotne here, grew up in the south west of England. But then again I talk vaguely ‘posh’ for reasons that are beyond me (I wen’t to a state school damnit!). Either way, I’m more John Walker than Kieron Gillen.
Edit: Wow! The edit button is back. Those T-Shirts have clearly worked quickly.
November 28th, 2008 at 11:24 pm
MeestaNob! says:
I demand Noc gets a freebie, I literally have corn flakes ALL OVER my keyboard now.
November 28th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
Pod says:
Schnick Schnack Schnuck is a great name!
Also, I live in the UK and I’ve always thought of this site as “Kieron Gillen’s Blog”. KGB.
November 29th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Will says:
You know, instead of Rock-Paper-Shotgun, my friends and I play Crocodile-Stingray-Steve. Crocodile is made by making your hand into a mouth shape with your fingers together and your plam facing down, thumb vertically opposite, an inch away. Stingray is just like pointing using your index finger, and Steve is a thumbs up.
It doesn’t have it’s own website though, and if it did I don’t think it would be as good as RPS.
November 29th, 2008 at 1:12 am
Alex McLarty says:
Meh. It’s made out of cotton. Great.
BUT IT’S STILL MADE BY SLAVES!
Get that shirt made out of hemp grown by well fed dwarves and I’ll buy it.
November 29th, 2008 at 2:33 am
me says:
Noc: LOL…insane.
November 29th, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Lunaran says:
no wonder I don’t feel like I have any readers, they all comment on the wrong sites :)
November 29th, 2008 at 10:34 pm
Gnarl says:
I’ve always played Rock, Paper, Stone.
Like a nocrits server, it favours skill.
November 30th, 2008 at 12:37 am
Blackberries says:
Alas, I would love to have one (or both!) but my humble means won’t meet the international delivery rates. Food remains a priority.
As an aside, I live in the south of England and have only ever heard the game referred to as ‘rock, paper, scissors’.
November 30th, 2008 at 3:51 am
Gap Gen says:
I call it stone paper scissors paper paper shotgun shoehorn scissors stone aardvark.
It’s quite a difficult game.
December 1st, 2008 at 11:50 am
Jarmo says:
Thank you for making the T-shirts available. I ordered two. I want the support The Goodest of Causes. Also, what would I wear on Laundry Day, otherwise.
December 2nd, 2008 at 4:19 pm
chesh says:
A Londoner friend of mine who is also a linguist suggests that it can be “ching chang walla” in England, and also “Tsching Tschang Tschong” in German.
It’s also jan-ken-pon in Japanese, which is of course where video games come from.
Also, please do make the 3d render and the literary shirts, as those are the ones that I will purchase without hesitation.
December 2nd, 2008 at 8:13 pm
egg says:
It’s “Pedra, Papel, Tesoura” for me. But then again, I’m Brazilian.
But for all it’s worth, I always heard it as Rock Paper Scissors. And they have too.
December 18th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
Krupo says:
g/f got me the black hivemind shirt, which I happen to be wearing now. Yay splitreason’s Canadian shipping point and present arrival 2 days before Christmas!
December 26th, 2008 at 7:33 am
Trousers says:
Noc : Well played
Im finally going to get me one of these sexy tee’s. cheers SPS
January 5th, 2009 at 3:17 am
Jarmo says:
I finally received my shirts yesterday. I’m already quite fond of them. The subued Texas orange colour and the iconical, beautifully stylized design makes for a strong fashion statement on the street and in the office.
P.S. Delivery time to Finland from Vancouver, Canada (during Christmas time) via the cheapest shipping method: 2 months. Be advised.
January 29th, 2009 at 10:48 am
mike gotham says:
Personally, I prefer the alliterative ‘paper, scissors, stone’, but there’s no accounting for taste.
January 30th, 2009 at 9:19 am
Freudian Trip says:
Yes Kristin Davis, don’t I just know it!
June 12th, 2009 at 7:40 am
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