Rock, Paper, Shotgun

RPS Tees: The Perfect Christmas Gift, For Yourself

By Alec Meer on November 28th, 2008 at 12:54 pm.

Imagine if there were some way to tell the world that you regularly visit Rock, Paper, Shotgun, other than by shouting at people on the internet. A way to announce that, were it possible, you would gladly donate all your organs and blood to the proud, tired men who write this site. Unfortunately The RPS Blood-Eater 3000 is still in the design stages, but to make the wait a little easier, we do at last have some official t-shirts. Yes! Cloth and websites, together in close harmony.

If you cast your minds back to the turn of the century, you may recall we ran a compo for you lot to design some RPS shirts. Two of the many splendid entries to that contest are, as of today, now available in real t-shirt form, via popculture torso-cladding experts Splitreason.com. Depending on the uptake, we’ll be looking to introduce further designs at some point, but for now please enjoy the most excellent work of Matt Breit (the orange, shotgunny one) and John Roberts (the black, hivemindy one):

Order ‘em from here. There is no finer gift you could give yourself this holiday season. Including love. These are definitely better than love.

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91 Comments »

  1. 28/11/2008 at 12:58 Ian says:

    Do us loyal subscribers get a discount? ;)

  2. 28/11/2008 at 12:58 Alex McLarty says:

    Groovy, but are the t-shirts ethically made?

  3. 28/11/2008 at 13:00 Jim Rossignol says:

    You can’t make t-shirts out of ethics!

  4. 28/11/2008 at 13:00 Meat Circus says:

    When can I get my John Walker posable action figure?

  5. 28/11/2008 at 13:02 gaijin says:

    mmm, but are they better than self-love? will they make me go less blind?

  6. 28/11/2008 at 13:02 Meat Circus says:

    @Alex McLarty:

    Does this mean anything to you:

    “1. What types of t-shirts do you use?
    Split Reason offers only high-quality 100% cotton Alstyle Apparel, and Gildan Ultra Cotton T-shirts.”

  7. 28/11/2008 at 13:04 Senethro says:

    Damnit, gaijin beat me to it.

  8. 28/11/2008 at 13:07 John Walker says:

    Just come over to my house, and you can put my limbs in amusing poses for as long as you like.

  9. 28/11/2008 at 13:07 Meat Circus says:

    As long as we can do dressing up too.

  10. 28/11/2008 at 13:10 Aldaris says:

    John, do you realised that you just posted that on the internet? People will actually try to do that, some of them live in or near london.
    Some may even know where you live.

    It was nice reading your part of RPS. You will be remembered.

  11. 28/11/2008 at 13:11 Yargh says:

    Remember to take many many photos.

  12. 28/11/2008 at 13:13 John Walker says:

    Well, I was limiting my invitation to Meat, who already knows where my house is. Other people have to provide written applications before being considered for posing me opportunities.

    Also, fortunately, I’m miles from London.

  13. 28/11/2008 at 13:18 Lu-Tze says:

    Grah expense! I might buy one anyway but jeez that’s some expensive postage. More UK retailers please.

  14. 28/11/2008 at 13:22 dartt says:

    Damn, I wanted my horace shirt!

  15. 28/11/2008 at 13:29 Down Rodeo says:

    Hm. If I get paid soon (I do) then I might just have to get both of these (make the shipping moneys worth it see). The question is, what size? And should I give one of these away? Questions questions.

  16. 28/11/2008 at 13:35 quin says:

    …it’s ethic material, suitable for winter…

  17. 28/11/2008 at 13:40 lobsterjohnson says:

    No talls :(

  18. 28/11/2008 at 13:44 Bobsy says:

    No sale until I see the entire RPS team modelling these. And ONLY these.

  19. 28/11/2008 at 13:46 AndrewC says:

    Man, harsh on Eskil.

  20. 28/11/2008 at 13:52 Koopa says:

    Only if the second one came in a different colour, I don’t wear brown! (or “texas orange”)

  21. 28/11/2008 at 13:57 Pags says:

    I only wear cool band shirts of cool bands because I don’t want the world to know I’m not cool. Is that cool?

  22. 28/11/2008 at 14:01 Stuk says:

    I can’t find the logic of using a USA retailer for a website by UK based guys… oh Loooogic! Loooogic! Where are you boy?

  23. 28/11/2008 at 14:02 Alec Meer says:

    We may be based in the UK, but the bulk of our readers aren’t. You may have noted the flak we get when some of the compos we run are UK-only…

  24. 28/11/2008 at 14:07 Malagate says:

    Pags, if you have to ask if it’s cool, that automatically makes it and subsequently you not cool. Damn your uncool ways!

    RPS cannot win when it comes to geography, if only there was a global competition and cotton apparel generation facility, possibly one that’s in orbit so that t-shirts and boxed goodies can be launched directly to your door.

    Edit: Also Alec, is that provable fact or is it that whenever a competition comes up they’re the most vocal ones as all the U.K. readers are busily entering the competition rather than commenting? We need some kind of RPS demographertronator to know the truth!

    Also when did this edit function come back? It’s more then welcome to stay.

  25. 28/11/2008 at 14:10 Pags says:

    Not if I’m so cool that I don’t even keep track of what’s cool anymore.

    I say we repurpose the Hubble telescope as an enormous t-shirt launcher, like the ones at (American) football games.

  26. 28/11/2008 at 14:21 Johnathon says:

    @Malagate – I’m not Alec, but yes, it’s a provable fact… Americans obviously like eating our bandwidth more than those from our ‘sunny’ island ;)

  27. 28/11/2008 at 14:21 James Tao says:

    Wait! As a Angry-Internet-Man in training I’m obliged to reveal the truth to you all. This isn’t about providing comfortable, fashion-friendly, ethical (?) garments to all of you lovely people! No, this is about money! Money that they will no doubt use to fund their burgeoning drug-habits, or the latest sacrificial goat for their temple to e-Satan!

    Shame on you, RPS! Shame!

    … I’ll take three.

  28. 28/11/2008 at 14:23 Ian says:

    Are these shirts free of DRM?

  29. 28/11/2008 at 14:28 x25killa says:

    But, but… I want the actual rock, paper and shotgun!

  30. 28/11/2008 at 14:30 AndrewC says:

    I love that the Internet was invented by Yorkshiremen.

  31. 28/11/2008 at 14:47 Stuk says:

    I want an RPS demographimeter! And a T-shirt. And a kitten.

  32. 28/11/2008 at 14:49 Jochen Scheisse says:

    You should announce that a percentage of the earnings goes toward reincluding the edit function.

  33. 28/11/2008 at 14:53 Pod says:

    A UK website using a Canadia based supplier, you say? Hmph, I say. HMPH.

    Well, I might still buy one anyway…

  34. 28/11/2008 at 15:21 Malagate says:

    See Pags, you’ve pretty much got it, especially with the point about turning the hubble telescope into a t-shirt cannon; for the cool elite do not follow trends, they make them.

    Yes Johnathon, I figured there would be a way of knowing in terms of ISP addresses or some such internet majickery that would tell you who’s eating up the precious bands. Thanks for that, I would like to see some kind of percentage though, just to know exactly how afraid I should be.

  35. 28/11/2008 at 15:25 Alec Meer says:

    In the last month, just over 60% of our traffic was from the US, and around 19% from the UK. Of course, we love our countrymen and our colonists equally.

  36. 28/11/2008 at 15:36 Bobsy says:

    No no. Clearly we need to forceably repatriate that 60% to the UK. They’d prefer it over here. We have a SEXY recession!

  37. 28/11/2008 at 15:43 Dante says:

    @ Ian

    No, I’m sorry, no more than three people can wear each t-shirt at once.

  38. 28/11/2008 at 15:49 Ian says:

    Then I’m going to pirate one. It’s the only answer.

  39. 28/11/2008 at 15:52 Dac====Tammolives says:

    I am sad. I would’ve killed for the Horace the Endless Bear shirt.

  40. 28/11/2008 at 15:59 Adjust Your Set says:

    “You should announce that a percentage of the earnings goes toward reincluding the edit function.”

    Would buy for this reason.
    People in the UK won’t get the visual joke anyway: we call it scissors, paper, stone.

  41. 28/11/2008 at 16:06 Ian says:

    I’m in the UK and I think of it as “stone, paper, scissors.”

  42. 28/11/2008 at 16:23 Shanucore says:

    @Bobsy A… sexcession?

    I’ll get my coat. And a fine tshirt.

  43. 28/11/2008 at 16:23 Lake says:

    In your face, rest of the world. USA! USA!

    Can I get them on Steam?

  44. 28/11/2008 at 16:24 Jochen Scheisse says:

    Well, we Teutons tend to call it by it’s maiden name, Schnick Schnack Schnuck. Schnick Schnack Shotgun would also be a nice name for the page once you have 100.000.000.003 visitors per day and can afford to localize it.

  45. 28/11/2008 at 16:24 johnny_cuts says:

    I’m in the UK and I think of it as “rock, paper, scissors”.

  46. 28/11/2008 at 16:27 Bobsy says:

    @Shanucore:

    No, a sexcession is a sexy secession! THIS OUGHT TO BE CLEAR TO EVERYONE!

  47. 28/11/2008 at 16:28 Owen says:

    I live in the UK but nearly always read RPS at work, but it routes via Holland so NER to your stats!

  48. 28/11/2008 at 16:29 McFuzz says:

    I’ve always known it as ‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’. Who are you weirdos who call it “scissors, paper, stone” or the like, and where did you come from?

  49. 28/11/2008 at 16:30 AndrewC says:

    Schnick Schnack Shotgun is my new favourite thing.

  50. 28/11/2008 at 16:31 subedii says:

    Also in the UK, ALSO call it Rock, Paper, Scissors.

    “SPS” makes it sound like an infection of some kind.

  51. 28/11/2008 at 16:31 Ixtab says:

    I also must add my voice to johnny cuts’ in saying that I’m from the UK and have only ever heard it called “Rock. Paper. Scissors.” I might buy the black one but I am a poor student.

  52. 28/11/2008 at 16:41 alco75 says:

    USD.
    Argh.

  53. 28/11/2008 at 16:44 Adjust Your Set says:

    Odd. Regional variations? I grew up around London/Essex (in the 80s), and never heard a non-American call it RPS before this site.

  54. 28/11/2008 at 16:50 Dante says:

    Always been Rock Paper Scissors to me, I grew in in Birmingham.

    Midlands thing? Kieron’s from around here isn’t he?

  55. 28/11/2008 at 16:53 NeonWraith says:

    You should still have got a UK distributor, just to irritate the American readers some more. Besides, it sucks that everytime I order something from Split Reason or ThinkGeek, I get screwed over paying extra tax on it. Besides, there’s a recession on! Isn’t it your patriotic duty to use UK based outlets or somesuch? :P

  56. 28/11/2008 at 16:55 pepper says:

    So how many of us really are Dutch? Since the title read that a few weeks ago!

    Sexy shirts BTW!

  57. 28/11/2008 at 17:08 Danny says:

    Well, I’m Dutch. And Split Reason is not taking my money again. Last time I paid more taxes than the clothing was worth :(

  58. 28/11/2008 at 17:53 Subject 706 says:

    And in Sweden we call it “Sten, påse, sax”, which translates to “Rock, bag, scissors”. We’re different, we are.

  59. 28/11/2008 at 18:03 Skurmedel says:

    I agree that Thinkgeek extra tax is extra shit. They also use the most expensive shipping service possible or something as I can easily reach a shipping cost higher than the actual item I’m trying to buy.

  60. 28/11/2008 at 18:27 Alexander says:

    dutch..

  61. 28/11/2008 at 18:39 Katsumoto says:

    ! As soon as I have a job and money and all that, i’ll definitely be able to fork out for the extra shipping and whatnot. Until then, I’ll just have to tell people in the street that I read RPS so that they definitely know.

    Also, 20% of your traffic vs 60%… but take into account there are over three times as many people in the US… AHA! Quick, only sell to the UK. Also, make all your competitions Midlands only for kicks. Then and only then will I be happy.

  62. 28/11/2008 at 19:47 The Poisoned Sponge says:

    Just so everyone knows, there’s a 20% sale on Splitreason today, if you put in the promo code BLACKFRIDAY. So do it today, and save money!

  63. 28/11/2008 at 20:11 Lake says:

    That code works. Thanks.

  64. 28/11/2008 at 20:20 Noc says:

    I will not be buying any of these shirts, because I object to the nature of the CRM* used.

    What RPS isn’t telling you is that these shirts are physically incapable of being copied; the CRM will actually tear your shirt in half if you try to pull it into two parts. Also, only a single person is allowed to wear the shirt at a time. If you want two people to wear the shirt, you need to buy two shirts. (There are workarounds for this, but they require the two users to be in close physical proximity, and are unworkable for general use.)

    I am sick of RPS treating its customers as potential criminals and bootleggers simply because they want to share their shirt with their friends. The attached CRM is a draconian abuse of the Laws of Physics to enforce RPS’s financial agenda, and I for one will not be condoning this with my purchase, and am registering my complaint with a strongly worded comment on the Internet.

    YOU are the reason t-shirt wearing is dying, RPS. I hope you’re proud of yourselves.

    *Cotton Rights Management

  65. 28/11/2008 at 21:13 roBurky says:

    Ooh. Can I get one like in the image at the top of this post instead, please?

  66. 28/11/2008 at 21:41 RichPowers says:

    I really dig the minimalist RPS logo. Maybe expand the lineup to include mousepads, stickers, coffee mugs, and lingerie?

  67. 28/11/2008 at 22:06 Pace says:

    How about an RPS swimsuit calendar?

  68. 28/11/2008 at 23:11 Frans Coehoorn says:

    Dutch as well. And I want one. T-shirt that is. Hmm…..

  69. 28/11/2008 at 23:24 James G says:

    Scissors, Paper, Sotne here, grew up in the south west of England. But then again I talk vaguely ‘posh’ for reasons that are beyond me (I wen’t to a state school damnit!). Either way, I’m more John Walker than Kieron Gillen.

    Edit: Wow! The edit button is back. Those T-Shirts have clearly worked quickly.

  70. 28/11/2008 at 23:41 MeestaNob! says:

    I demand Noc gets a freebie, I literally have corn flakes ALL OVER my keyboard now.

  71. 29/11/2008 at 00:17 Pod says:

    Schnick Schnack Schnuck is a great name!

    Also, I live in the UK and I’ve always thought of this site as “Kieron Gillen’s Blog”. KGB.

  72. 29/11/2008 at 01:12 Will says:

    You know, instead of Rock-Paper-Shotgun, my friends and I play Crocodile-Stingray-Steve. Crocodile is made by making your hand into a mouth shape with your fingers together and your plam facing down, thumb vertically opposite, an inch away. Stingray is just like pointing using your index finger, and Steve is a thumbs up.

    It doesn’t have it’s own website though, and if it did I don’t think it would be as good as RPS.

  73. 29/11/2008 at 02:33 Alex McLarty says:

    Meh. It’s made out of cotton. Great.

    BUT IT’S STILL MADE BY SLAVES!

    Get that shirt made out of hemp grown by well fed dwarves and I’ll buy it.

  74. 29/11/2008 at 17:54 me says:

    Noc: LOL…insane.

  75. 29/11/2008 at 18:45 Lunaran says:

    Sweet. I’m even obliged to buy one.

  76. 29/11/2008 at 18:59 Saflo says:

    Lunaran, your Quake post was excellent.

  77. 29/11/2008 at 22:34 Lunaran says:

    no wonder I don’t feel like I have any readers, they all comment on the wrong sites :)

  78. 30/11/2008 at 00:37 Gnarl says:

    I’ve always played Rock, Paper, Stone.

    Like a nocrits server, it favours skill.

  79. 30/11/2008 at 03:51 Blackberries says:

    Alas, I would love to have one (or both!) but my humble means won’t meet the international delivery rates. Food remains a priority.

    As an aside, I live in the south of England and have only ever heard the game referred to as ‘rock, paper, scissors’.

  80. 01/12/2008 at 11:50 Gap Gen says:

    I call it stone paper scissors paper paper shotgun shoehorn scissors stone aardvark.

    It’s quite a difficult game.

  81. 02/12/2008 at 16:19 Jarmo says:

    Thank you for making the T-shirts available. I ordered two. I want the support The Goodest of Causes. Also, what would I wear on Laundry Day, otherwise.

  82. 02/12/2008 at 20:13 chesh says:

    A Londoner friend of mine who is also a linguist suggests that it can be “ching chang walla” in England, and also “Tsching Tschang Tschong” in German.
    It’s also jan-ken-pon in Japanese, which is of course where video games come from.
    Also, please do make the 3d render and the literary shirts, as those are the ones that I will purchase without hesitation.

  84. 18/12/2008 at 17:16 egg says:

    It’s “Pedra, Papel, Tesoura” for me. But then again, I’m Brazilian.

    But for all it’s worth, I always heard it as Rock Paper Scissors. And they have too.

  85. 26/12/2008 at 07:33 Krupo says:

    g/f got me the black hivemind shirt, which I happen to be wearing now. Yay splitreason’s Canadian shipping point and present arrival 2 days before Christmas!

  86. 05/01/2009 at 03:17 Trousers says:

    Noc : Well played

    Im finally going to get me one of these sexy tee’s. cheers SPS

  87. 29/01/2009 at 10:48 Jarmo says:

    I finally received my shirts yesterday. I’m already quite fond of them. The subued Texas orange colour and the iconical, beautifully stylized design makes for a strong fashion statement on the street and in the office.

    P.S. Delivery time to Finland from Vancouver, Canada (during Christmas time) via the cheapest shipping method: 2 months. Be advised.

  88. 30/01/2009 at 09:19 mike gotham says:

    Personally, I prefer the alliterative ‘paper, scissors, stone’, but there’s no accounting for taste.

  89. 12/06/2009 at 07:40 Freudian Trip says:

    Yes Kristin Davis, don’t I just know it!

  90. 01/08/2009 at 00:44 Railick says:

    Rock, Paper, Scone?

  91. 26/08/2009 at 22:32 starclaws says:

    OUT OF STOCK AHHHHHHHH

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