By John Walker on November 28th, 2008 at 12:07 am.

Gaia Online‘s first casual MMO, zOMG!, has been in open beta for a couple of weeks now, but I’ve not had a chance to check it out. However, having seen the cute promo movie that’s been put out for it, it’s getting tempting. While not showing in-game footage, it’s some damned fine cartoony nonsense. In-game screenshots – well, not so much. But whichever it is, it doesn’t matter, because it’s called zOMG!
Cutesy casual MMOs are hard to find enthusiasm for. But this is an enjoyable trailer nonetheless.


I’m sorry but this game is utter tripe. After trying for a whole hour to figure out how to actually use this gaia website I finally managed to login to the game. Only to find out that it’s just another boring browsergame trying to get on the gravy train by selling their worthless gold coins. It’s laggy, it’s arkward to use and it makes my browser crash (both Opera and Firefox). It kinda reminds me of facebook with an ingame gold shop.
So I decided to delete my account again, only to find out that this is impossible to do. As they state on their website:
“Accounts are not deleted from Gaia, they are kept incase the history of that account is needed for an investigation. If you wish to stop playing, you are welcome to simply stop visiting.”
Investigantion? What investigation? This game literally deserves its title. zOMG it sucks! (Disclaimer: Not recommended for children)
report
The need a game that actually looks like that trailer.
And possibly plays with the same pacing.
report
I’d be interested to know who animated the trailer, but that’s the only interest I have to show.
report
even if it was good it would still have the fanbase of GAIA.
report
Jonas: Yes.
Dance Commander: No idea who you are referring to, but it sounds like a low blow, and a funny one. hAr har.
report
A videogame you say? I was sure that was an advert for some kind of deodorant; how else would you explain the flying surfboards?
report
Dance Commander is right; this could be the greatest MMO in history, but that doesn’t change the fact that GaiaOnline is by far one of the worst communities on the internet.
report
A million teenagers all a’twittering from /b/ can’t be wrong! Er. Right?
report
Flash seems to be a nice animation tool lately.
report
Flash is a very bad platform for a game of this scale and this proves it.
I have a system that runs all the latest games and this thing manages to run like mud…. oh and it’s boring.
report
FACT: NEWGROUNDS WAS FUNNY WHEN WE WERE ALL 12 LIVING IN THE SUBURBS LISTENING TO LINKIN PARK WATCHING DRAGONBALL Z DRINKING PEPSI WHILE PLAYING HALO CO-OP ON THE EASIEST SETTING DURING WHICH WE CONSUMED DORITOS AND LOOKED AT PAINTBALL GUNS ON EBAY IN INTERNET EXPLORER CONNECTED THROUGH AOL ON A 56K MODEM BEFORE HOPPING INTO OUR BALDING FATHERS’ LATEST MIDLIFE-CRISIS-IMPULSE-SPONSORED JAPANESE-BUILT SUV TO HEAD TO THE MALL AND GET MORE SKATEBOARDING SHOES AND THIRD-RATE IRREGULAR LEVIS AND MOUNTAIN BIKE PARTS BEFORE HEADING HOME, VOTING DEMOCRAT AND MASTURBATING TO THE LATEST SEARS CATALOG WHILE HUFFING PAINT IN YOUR GARAGE BEFORE TALKING TO PEDOPHILES ON AIM PRETENDING TO BE WHATEVER CAMWHORE THEY’RE RANTING ABOUT ON MYSPACE WITH A MATRIX QUOTE/ANIME CHARACTER NAME/TRIPLE SIX-ASTERISK-PARENTHESES-SURROUNDED SCREENNAME BEFORE HEADING TO YOUR SUPPOSED “GOOD SCHOOL” IN THE MORNING TO BUY MORE POT TO SMOKE DURING YOUR COUNTER-STRIKE LAN PARTY WITH JIMMY AND THE REST OF HIS FRIENDS TAKING RITALIN AND ADDERALL AND PROZAC EIGHT TIMES A DAY BEFORE TAKING A CASUAL PASS AT LOCAL, STATE OR NATIONAL GOVERNMENTIAL FIGURES, LEGISLATURE, OR STRUCTURE TO APPEAR EDGY AND INTELLIGENT IN FRONT OF YOUR BUDWEISER-SNEAKING, LIMP-WRISTED, NEAR-TO-COLUMBINE SOCIOPATHIC “DEEP” FRIENDS WHO PLAY THE VICTIM WHEN THEY START LOSING ARGUEMENTS SIX DAYS BEFORE THEIR BOTCHED SUICIDE ATTEMPT SIMPLY BECAUSE SCHOOL TRAMP NUMBER TWELVE WOULDN’T GO UNDER THE BLEACHERS WITH THEM TO LET THEM GET TO SECOND BASE BEFORE THEIR THIRTEENTH BIRTHDAY.
report
@ Nate:
Tip #1 – Caps Lock
report
@ Nate:
Tip #2 – I lol’d.
report
Let it all out Nate, let it all out.
Its good to cry.
report
I love Nate so much.
That’s not even internet sarcasm, it’s brilliant.
report
All in all, this totally reminds me of Dofus, just that Dofus is probably a better game.
Nate Dude, you stopped taking that Ritalin, didn’t you?
report
Nate: Though you might want to work on your interpunctuation and somebody should definetely tell you about this little key at the far left of your keyboard, I heartily applaud you for wrapping up me teenage years for me.
Or for wrapping up what might have been my teenage years if I was a few years younger and an american.
report
Although Nate is the only one who coherently adresses the naming issue of the game. zOMG mainstream.
report
Ugh. Is dat sum Copypasta? On my /RPS/?
report
If you’d put up a screenshot instead of that apparently unrelated “good” picture, I bet none of us would even be here to comment.
report
Funny how advert-driven revenue works, eh, dadioflex?
report
“Moooo…”
and I concur with Jonas
report
LEAVE NATE ALONE YOU PEOPLE! EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT CAPSLOCK IS CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL!
report
Ok, the game was always going to be terrible and made worse by the gaiaonine community. However, what are the options for low time investment PvP griefing?
report
Messageboards.
report
I love it, it rocks, in a stylist and useless way. It make you wish a game is made out of this style.
It looks like another generic korean grinding machine, that is not a bad thing, but is not my tea cup.
It also looks nothing like the video.
report
wow, I totally just wasted 30 minutes of my life trying to play that game. terrible.
report
@Nate:
I remember that from somewhere… was pretty funny back then though
report
Well this is too interesting game… You started hanging out there on the weekends and seeing a lot of shows. Then, you saw the open mic smt screen printers on the schedule and tried it out. I really like it….screen printing
report