Oh Christ: First Watchmen Footage

By Kieron Gillen on December 16th, 2008 at 10:32 pm.

My photoshop skills are weak. BUT MY CONCEPTUALISM IS STRONG.
No good can come of this. The first Watchmen video’s beneath the cut.

Honestly, nice try guys, but you may as well turn Anna Karenina into a Railroad Tycoon clone.

, .

160 Comments »

  1. Bhazor says:

    Reply to Gap Gen

    “Hell, there’s no reason to do a film of the comic other than to wring money from people.”
    That is a pretty popular decision.

    Crime and Punishment the Sierra style point and click adventure game.
    >Use violence on woman
    You have been struck down by existentialist doubt. (25 out of 300 points)

  2. Grandstone says:

    What We Talk About When We Talk About Love: the racing game!

    The Savage Detectives: Two Aztecs time-warp into modern-day Mexico City and fight crime in a thrilling first-person shooter.

  3. Tim says:

    I saw an ad for the graphic novel in a bookstore, it said “read it before they ruin it!”

  4. pkt-zer0 says:

    Good thing I’ve never heard of this “Watchmen” thing before, so all this trailer makes me think is “generic brawler, meh”.

  5. Nimdok says:

    I got no problem with this, if only because I see it as a brawler. Watchmen wasn’t the best comic to begin with, and this just gives some reason to care…

  6. mpk says:

    Everyone knows the 80′s are back in fashion – how many 80s action movies ended up as platformers? 3D brawler is teh new platformer. Maybe.

  7. Frito says:

    Romeo and Juliet, the dating sim.
    A Critique of Pure Reason-the FPS
    Lord of the Flies-the tactical RTS
    Dante’s Inferno, the action game.
    Nah, no one would be that dumb.

    But seriously, where is my Dune MMORPG?

  8. Pijama says:

    Frito – My sarcasm-o-meter is broken so just to be sure – EA is doing Dante’s Inferno. :D

  9. Radiant says:

    Tom Clancy…oh wait shit.

  10. Pags says:

    Crime and Punishment the Sierra style point and click adventure game.
    >Use violence on woman
    You have been struck down by existentialist doubt. (25 out of 300 points)

    This is so epic I cannot even begin to describe.

  11. MrFake says:

    I’d like to think this is a poetic use of the Watchmen license, considering Moore’s near universal reaction to “adaptations” of his work. Meta-art realized in video game production, really.

    But, in reality, it’s just merely validating Moore’s licensure reticence yet again.

  12. Haml3t says:

    @john t:
    The idea of a Shindler’s List RTS made me snort with laughter. This may say something less than good about me. Well done, sir.

  13. James T says:

    An RTS based on Spike Milligan’s war memoirs would be the FUNNIEST RTS EVER! And simultaeneously the saddest. Ahh Spike.

    When are we going to see a rhythm-game based on the Frost/Nixon interview?

  14. Ben Abraham says:

    There was an awful lot of punching in that video wasn’t there.

  15. SofS says:

    The Satanic Verses – rhythm game with DDR pad
    The Man in the High Castle – MMORPG (consult the I Ching to get your quests, maybe?)
    Wuthering Heights – dating sim

  16. jonfitt says:

    Clockwork Orange – Warioware clone

  17. Muzman says:

    Even if the movie is good, this kind of thing will justify Alan Moore’s rage quite nicely.

    I wan a Catcher in the Rye game but its sort of a Hitman clone where you read the book and then try to assassinate people.

  18. sameasiteverwas says:

    My Contributions:
    Schindler’s List: The RTS

    I think you mean “Concentration Camp Tycoon.”

    Oh wait, they already made that one.

  19. john t says:

    Finnegans Wake: The Text Adventure
    Godel Escher and Bach: the action platformer.
    Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle: Meatpacking Tycoon.

    Also, the Catcher in the Rye game idea made me spit soda.

    ———-
    Actually what’s interesting about trying to think of these is how many seemingly incongruous combinations actually sound like good games when you say them out loud.

  20. Psychopomp says:

    From the makers of Doom, Quake, and Wolfenstein comes a new horror FPS, that will revolutionize the way the world views horror…

    DISCWORLD:THE GAME

  21. Nimdok says:

    We can’t forget the epic RTS/Squad-level-command magnum opus that would be 2112: Sins Of A Solar Federation

    Coming to an XBox 360 near you…

  22. MonkeyMonster says:

    When Harry met Sally for the wii – gotta get the motion right with the controller+nunchuks for the cafe scene….

  23. JM says:

    Psychopomp (nice name, by the way):

    That… that doesn’t sound [i]too[/i] bad. I mean, it could be good.

    But back on topic, I think this game doesn’t look too terrible. Sure, the video shows an amount of wrestling that makes me nervous, but they seemed to have a good handle on the characters’ personalities. Like, the way Rorschach runs around, for instance.

    If this game has some genuine depth, other than what is shown in the video, it could be decent…

  24. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Das Boot – The Flight Simulator?

  25. Tei says:

    The Count of Monte Cristo – Train braining game

  26. Nick says:

    Cocoon as a japanese dating sim.

  27. Jazmeister says:

    I don’t get the problem. Maybe I’m too sleepy. Watchmen was a great comic, just like His Dark Materials were good films. The actual mechanics of movie-to-game releases isn’t what worries me; it’s the glitches and gaps and general botchedness that bring them down. I’d play a Half-Life pinball game if it was fun to play. They need to show a video of the relentless boredom, or crappy textures. Brawling is what rorsarch spends half his awesome doing. The other half is insane conspiracy, obv.

  28. Antsy says:

    The Boston Strangler… Dating Sim
    Tenko…Platformer
    Upstairs Downstairs…Beat em Up
    Ulysses..FPS (First Person Spurter)

  29. Jhoosier says:

    1984 MMO: Turn in your neighbors before they get you.

  30. Premium User Badge Morph says:

    No Country for Old Men – Beat ‘em up
    The Bible – God game

  31. manintheshack says:

    ‘The Man in the High Castle – MMORPG (consult the I Ching to get your quests, maybe?)’

    Erm, that’s actually a really good idea… I imagine anyone willing enough to bring the less popularised works of Dick to game would do a faithful job, and how fucking cool would it be?!

    Buy the licence! Sell the rights! Make the game! Possibly break my heart! Meh, best not to get carried away. I don’t even like MuhMorPuhGuhs anyway.

  32. Gap Gen says:

    :I’d like to think this is a poetic use of the Watchmen license, considering Moore’s near universal reaction to “adaptations” of his work. Meta-art realized in video game production, really.”

    You mean like the film of Starship Troopers that was basically a piss-take of the book?

  33. The Rev Owen says:

    Kramer Vs. Kramer Vs. Mortal Kombat – No explanation needed, I don’t think.
    The Sims 2: Chainsaw Massacre! Expansion – Actually, this one could be excellent for people that play The Sims that way.
    Resdent Evil 6: A Spoonful of Sugar – A prequel in which we learn that Mary Poppins was the original founder of Umbrella Corp.
    Schindler’s List: Sniper Elite – Sorry.
    Burnout Paradise: David Cronenberg’s Crash Special Edition – A special Wii edition of Burnout Paradise, in which you have to waggle the Wiimote furiously during the slo-mo crash scenes.
    Dance Dance Revolution in the Dark – I think it speaks for itself.
    The Wicker Man: Let’s Go To Summerisle – Animal Crossing, but in Summerisle. Obviously. What’s that they’re building over by the cliff?
    Shadow of the Iron Giant – Befriend the misunderstood Iron Giant, then climb up and STAB HIS BRAIN OUT.
    Secretary Spankathon – Another motion-controlled Wii game.
    Street Fighter Vs. Time Bandits – ‘Nuff said.

  34. Confidence Interval says:

    @Morph: How about The Bible – Beat ‘em up, as a compromise?
    http://www.adultswim.com/games/game/index.html?game=biblefight

  35. Cedge says:

    Eh, looks fine by me. I’ll play it via Steam, for sure. And yeah, Yes, I’m a huge Watchmen fan, but I’m not the sort of nerd who gets into conniption fits when something I’m fond of gets adapted to another medium, and it’s not perfectly true to the source material. I’m hugely looking forward to the film; biggest movie for me in quite some time.

    The point of these “Property Title: Unlikely Game Genre Adaptation” comments eludes me. I mean, if not a beat-em-up set in the period during which Rory and Nite Owl were, well, beating up a lot criminals, then what else?

  36. phil says:

    Pleasingly the trailer makes it look like Niteowl has shat himself just after the first electroshock special move, as the character is just reaching the age were adult nampies might be necessary, this commitment to realism is commendable.

  37. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Gravity’s Rainbow – WWII FPS with an RPG twist

    That’s more impossible rather than inappropriate though. Still, if some Russian developers drove themselves insane and thrashed out an un-hinged broken epic of an adaptation I’d be interested.

  38. Malagate says:

    Re: Frito suggesting Lord of the Flies as a tactical RTS, I’d play it!

    I’d suggest…
    Catch 22- The flight sim where you must spend all your time trying to not to be forced to fly.

  39. Iain says:

    @Gap Gen: You mean like the film of Starship Troopers that was basically a piss-take of the book?

    It’s not quite as simple as that – the book and the film do share a lot of commonality – particularly in the portrayal of the egalitarianism of the society (that is, there is only one form of social stratification – the two-tier system of citizens and non-citizens). The film is more of a condemnation of the “violence solves everything” approach of American foreign policy and a social satire (the idea of taking really young and beautiful people and then getting them ground to pieces in a war) than a statement on the book. Indeed, Verhoeven gave up on the book about halfway through and just used the setting and broad strokes from the plot of the book. I can heartily recommend listening to the director’s commentary on Starship Troopers – Verhoeven and the American producers have a real ding-dong when Verhoeven starts trashing US foreign policy and makes parallels to the Federation’s approach in the film.

    Getting back on topic – I didn’t really have much hope for a Watchmen game (though I am cautiously optimistic about the film) – it just looks like the standard by-the-numbers cash-in to me. If they were going to do a game that takes place before the main story, they should have done Dr. Manhattan in Vietnam. That could have been fun.

  40. Bhazor says:

    Driver Miss Daisy
    A sandbox driving game where you drive at no more than 30mph through rural racism all building to an old woman pie feeding crescendo.

    Grateful Evil Dead
    A high concept Resident Evil 4 and ddr hybrid in which you have to cave heads in in time with the cowbell from Touch Of Grey.

    Bailout 3
    A post apocalyptic banking sim.

  41. Bhazor says:

    Oh don’t try to defend Starship Troopers. It was truly truly gash.

    Denise Richards (!) becomes commander of a battle cruiser in the time it takes Rico to learn how to use his helmet. Despite training to fight bugs all the drills involve fighting against humans and Rico essentially just ricochets cock first from woman to woman. Also marine armour is utterly worthless and where the dickens are the flying suits?

    Denise Richards becomes an Admiral. Denise! Richards!

  42. Premium User Badge AndrewC says:

    Don’t take Starship Troopers literally Bhazor. It is a work of genius.

  43. SofS says:

    The point of these “Property Title: Unlikely Game Genre Adaptation” comments eludes me. I mean, if not a beat-em-up set in the period during which Rory and Nite Owl were, well, beating up a lot criminals, then what else?

    I think that said comments aren’t really about the trailer at this point. This tangent has legs and it knows how to use them. That said, I think the answer to your likely rhetorical question would generally be “nothing” or “an adventure game”. Watchmen isn’t an action story, so the idea of making an action game related to it doesn’t sit very well. As the trailer shows nothing but fighting, it’s impossible to know for sure whether or not the game will have decent writing or any self-awareness about it. The hallmark of Watchmen is its masterful, clear-sighted writing, and a game (and/or movie) adaptation that didn’t feature it would come off badly compared to something with similar mechanics that better realized its source material. Honestly, I’m not holding out any hope for the movie or the game, but I’m quite willing to be pleasantly surprised.

  44. simon says:

    Walker, I was thinking of All Quiet on the Western Front earlier today, thinking that the last time I saw it was on Channel 4 some 20-odd years ago before the move to Aus. Do you think it would make a decent FPS? All I can remember is crying lots, which ain’t optimal for aiming.

    Plus, yeah, maybe it’s time for a new PA meme, “I’m a generic pop-culture villain being shot at by consumers targeted by metrics statistically derived from market research”. Make a comic out of that one suckers!

  45. clive dunn says:

    William Burroughs’ The Naked Lunch.

    A multiplayer FPS populated by all the penis monsters that EA banned from Spore.

  46. IdleHands says:

    Starship troopers was bad but fun if you watch it with your tongue firmly in your cheek. Anyway it’s better than it’s two sequels. If you want really bad soap actors playing sci-fi war then watch “Transmorphers”.
    . . .
    What? I don’t watch pure crap movies, then again I have seen “Leprechaun in the hood” the fifth of the Leprechaun movies. Fine I love bad movies, they’re just so much fun to mock.

  47. Kieron Gillen says:

    Starship Troopers is amazing. It’s the one example of a Hollywood film which wasn’t disrespectful to the subject matter accidentally – it was disrespectful because it found the subject matter morally loathsome.

    (Though I should listen to what Iain references upthread)

    It’s also very funny.

    KG

  48. Thingus says:

    I’ve not finished reading the comic yet, but the game COULD be a Psychonauts-style Journey To The Center Of The Mind, where the main characters work out their issues by representing them as street thugs and beating them to a pulp.

    It probably isn’t, but we can hope, right?

    Also, The Shawshank Redemption; a brawler/puzzle/business and management sim. And then you have to hold down the forward key for 10 minutes as he crawls through that pipe.

  49. Carey says:

    And there was a guy poking a big slimey brain thing with a stick.

  50. ChaosSmurf says:

    so basically what you guys are saying is that this is going to be the best game of 2009? Am I getting the right vibe here?

    In related news, I want to see Harry Pot… oh wait … er … Northern Lig-no, no … how about Era-shit, no…

    I have it! The Lion Th… crap. Nah, looks like everything I read in my youth has already been killed by the games industry.