Yes – you could be the proud owner of a videogame written upon by a real human female. Specifically, by Keeley Hawes – the agreeably posh voice of Lara Croft, face of ‘er out of Ashes to Ashes and of course, most famously of all, silent subject of the video for geriatric pop gibberish-spouters James’ She’s A Star. SHE IS A PRETTY LADY. She is also able to write her own name – three times, in fact, for that’s how many signed copies of Tomb Raider Underworld we have to give away. And it’s the game we’re really interested in, of course.
While Underworld, the most recent Tomb Raider game, is currently making unfortunate headlines about it not selling terribly well, it is easily one of the best Lara adventures of recent times. Bar some iffy storytelling, anyway. No annoying boss fights, no silly quick-time event guff and some remarkably fluid puzzling, I hear. While I’ve not yet played it, I know Walker and Jim enjoyed it – and they both had their fun-glands surgically excised in order that they might finally attain ultimate objectivity years ago, so it must be pretty decent. There’s a demo here if you wish to investigate further.
So we have three copies of Tomb Raider Underworld for the Personal Computer Electronic Typing Engine to give away to three bold RPS readers, each of which is John-Hancocked by Ms Hawes.
To enter, you must chant these words to yourself three times: “I believe that unicorns mean to steal all our hazelnuts.” Then you must send an email here, with your suggestion for this conundrum:
Ne’er cool 80s Mancunian pop codgers James, in one of whose videos Keeley Hawes once starred, are forever trying to stage a comeback. What should their next exciting new direction be?
The best answers will win the games. Failing there being any best answers, we’ll pluck three entries out of a digi-hat. And yes, before you lot fill the comments threads with the usual complaint, we’ll sort out the earlier compos we haven’t posted out prizes for yet very soon.
Here are some rules and stuff. This one’s UK-only, alas.
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@Nick: The prize-suppliers you say? Then we shall have to combine forces and fiddle their faces with flipper-fish. It won’t change their minds, no. But any reason’s a good reason for men of all countries and ethnicities to band together and slap other men with seafood. Slap them silly.
Was the demo of Underworld unrepresentative? While the landscape was stunningly pretty, the camera was terrible (often couldn’t turn it to see where you were jumping to) and the combat was utter drivel.
The combat’s pretty much pointless, and you get the feeling the devs know it, and are including it for the hell of it. As for the camera, yup, the problems remain I’m afraid. There are a few moments where you’re forced into Leap Of Faith Syndrome.
You realise these UK-only incentives are only done to tempt back English speakers to the glorious British empire, right?