If I Knew You Were Coming I’d Have Baked A Cake

By Kieron Gillen on January 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 pm.

I'm lost for words
Been online for a while, it seems, but Shawn Elliot’s Tweet-o-thing expose us to the above lovely fanart by Peganthyrus of the ‘shipping of ur-AI-hottie Shodan and fairly-ur-AI hottie GladOS. Above is her humourous take on it. And beneath the cut, the more slashy approach. Click through to go to the full images on her deviant-art page at much better image quality.

NSFW? I think it’s fine, but I’m a big old pervert.

I'm rock hard.
Peganthyrus, we salute you.

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43 Comments »

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  1. CrashT says:

    Those pictures make me feel funny… and I honestly don’t know if it’s in a good way or not.

  2. ChaosSmurf says:

    PORN? ON MY RPS?

  3. JonFitt says:

    That made me search GoG for System Shock. Not there :(

    They do have the game which for a short while (due to my friend’s pronunciation) I thought was called Jagger Delights.

  4. Vanderdecken says:

    GLaDOS/Shodan slash? There really IS a rule 34… no seriously – seen it. But not because I went looking for it…

    For a moment I thought this was a story about a Wallace and Gromit A Matter of Loaf and Death tie-in game, and was about to curse Nick Park’s new-found commercialism to the depths of /b/.

  5. Jonas says:

    System Shock is impressively high on GoG’s user wish list though, so there’s hope if EA bends!

    Nice artwork, extremely stylish and I love the way she illustrated their particular speech patterns – I can just hear their voices in my head (but that may be the MPD).

    Also reminds me of that excellent analysis of how GlaDOS was actually a lady in bondage. Clearly, clever games bring out the best in people!

  6. Premium User Badge

    James G says:

    Vanderdecken, your mention of Rule 34, then Wallace and Gromit has made me curious. Not curious enough to actualy go google anything mind you… I value my childhood memories.

  7. Octaeder says:

    I’ve had the bottom pic as my desktop wallpaper for a while now – never seen the top pic or even known the source though so kudos…

  8. Jazmeister says:

    It’s not pron, it’s just two complicated systems exchanges ideas and informationfap. fap fapFAP.fAp!

  9. MisterBritish says:

    If this isn’t an RPS t-shirt I don’t know what is.

  10. An Innocuous Coin says:

    Raise of hands, who thinks a System Shock/Portal crossover with a villian team of SHODAN and GlaDOS in a…”healthy” relationship would be the best game ever made?

  11. Lukasz says:

    wow. it cost almost fifty bucks to buy a print.
    a bit expensive considering author doesn’t own the right to publish it.

  12. Stew says:

    …I’ll be in my bunk.

  13. Markoff Chaney says:

    We are merely exchanging long protein strings. If you can think of a simpler way, I’d like to hear it. – Kang

    If that’s NSFW, people better stop making vases and I can’t pull wire any more…

  14. Jay says:

    Romantic lesbian AI erotica.

    Only on the internet!

  15. AlexW says:

    Lukasz, don’t blame the artist, blame deviantArt. It’s always been hideously expensive from their massive cut, and it’s usually significantly cheaper to go for prints directly from the artist if they’re willing to oblige.

  16. Willy359 says:

    I think, Coin, it would have to be GlaDOS vs. SHODAN, fighting for control of the player’s loyalty. Let’s face it, Xerxes really wasn’t a proper challenge for our SHODAN. Of course, it would take the sultry GlaDOS from the endgame to even tempt me away from my first sociopathic AI love.

  17. Dave says:

    I didn’t see anything particularly porny about it until I concentrated really hard… :goes off to concentrate some more:

  18. Tei says:

    I read the internets for the articles

  19. DigitalSignalX says:

    After browsing her galleries, I only saw those 2 portal themed pictures, the remainder mostly seem to be tarot and fury oriented. Great art though!

  20. Smurfy says:

    listen guys i have a boner

  21. CrashT says:

    It’s a weird world where GLaDOS is the submissive one.

  22. Theory says:

    Also reminds me of that excellent analysis of how GlaDOS was actually a lady in bondage. Clearly, clever games bring out the best in people!

    Which is here, if anyone was wondering.

    I think, Coin, it would have to be GlaDOS vs. SHODAN, fighting for control of the player’s loyalty.

    You know, that could actually work. Are you listening Valve?

  23. Rei Onryou says:

    Something must be wrong with me. I can’t see the rule 34-ing of either picture. Is this a good or bad thing?

  24. baf says:

    I think, Coin, it would have to be GlaDOS vs. SHODAN, fighting for control of the player’s loyalty.

    This would be priceless. Look at the means by which these two attempt to win our hearts in their repsective games:

    Shodan: Death threats, claims of godhood, assertions of your insignificance

    GLaDOS: Really transparent lies, dubious promises of cake, blame

    The kicker is that they’re both so far from being able to empathize with humans that I can easily see them fearing each others’ charms. “That bitch!” Shodan would scream. “That temptress and her cake! He’s fallen for her for sure. What can I do to woo him back? I know, I’ll remind him that he’s a worm beneath my feet. Less than a worm! Then he’ll be sorry he ever left me.” Meanwhile GLaDOS would be like “How can I compete with someone as self-assertive as Shodan? I know. I’ll say that she ate all the cake. Then he won’t love her, and he’ll throw her core into an incineration tube. Because that’s what happens to bad people. Then I can say that we’ve located a piece of cake that Shodan couldn’t find and he’ll come back to me.”

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    James G says:

    Reminds me of this XKCD: http://xkcd.com/375/

    We could end up with a rather confusing love-square going on.

  26. Skree says:

    Maybe I’m hugely naive, but I don’t understand at all. Probably for the best… :P

  27. Peganthyrus says:

    Thanks for the salute. *grin*

    And yeah, this is pretty much the only fanart I’ve done since the dreadful drawings of Tom Baker as the Doctor that I did when I was in high school.

  28. windlab says:

    Tom Baker was a pretty good Doctor though, unlike some others.

    Brilliant piece of fan-art, as you said on DA, there’s a lot of people talking about GLaDOS/SHODAN slash, but nobody doing it….

  29. Doctor Sampa says:

    What about a Shodan/GLaDOS/Skynet/HAL/Multivac orgy ?

  30. Ben Abraham says:

    Shodan would TOTALLY own GladOS.

  31. N says:

    And by own you mean seduce in sizzling A.I. polygonal cuntbumping

  32. Bret says:

    Ah.

    You know, this is quite possibly the geekiest porn related discussion imaginable.

  33. Zed says:

    Thanks for that link, Theory. I’d forgotten that article.

  34. Muzman says:

    baf says:
    “it would have to be GlaDOS vs. SHODAN, fighting for control of the player’s loyalty. ”
    The kicker is that they’re both so far from being able to empathize with humans that I can easily see them fearing each others’ charms. “That bitch!” Shodan would scream. “That temptress and her cake! He’s fallen for her for sure. What can I do to woo him back? I know, I’ll remind him that he’s a worm beneath my feet. Less than a worm! Then he’ll be sorry he ever left me.” Meanwhile GLaDOS would be like “How can I compete with someone as self-assertive as Shodan? I know. I’ll say that she ate all the cake. Then he won’t love her, and he’ll throw her core into an incineration tube. Because that’s what happens to bad people. Then I can say that we’ve located a piece of cake that Shodan couldn’t find and he’ll come back to me.”

    Dear lord, this must be in some media or other.
    It’s like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane meets 2001

  35. Muzman says:

    Oh and the art’s great too. (yes I didn’t log in yet again. Sorry)
    Rule 34 should go in the pile with Poe’s and Godwin’s Laws as once identified it basically requires people to prove it.

    Actually who’s up for some God/Hitler?

  36. simonkaye says:

    Surely this would make a better sitcom/dramedy? Throw in Icarus/Daedalus from Deus Ex (with a HILARIOUS multiple personality disorder/fatherhood/transhumanism issues) and you’ve got a really strong base cast.

    Each episode a different p-p-p-pathetic hacker gets sucked into the power-play. What do you reckon?

  37. DarthS says:

    I’m disappointed, he could have gone a whole other way with this. If GladOS is supposed to be a woman dangling upside down in a straight jacket, why no bondage? Eh?

  38. Vanderdecken says:

    What about a Shodan/GLaDOS/Skynet/HAL/Multivac orgy?

    More xkcd… http://xkcd.com/534/. And of course I have to mention this, even if it’s only related by the hovertext: http://xkcd.com/521/

    And by own you mean seduce in sizzling A.I. polygonal cuntbumping.

    *facepalm*

    Ah.

    You know, this is quite possibly the geekiest porn related discussion imaginable.

    Oh, I don’t know… could be worse. Has anyone found the diamagnetic properties of cunt yet?

    *levitates pussy magnet*

    *realises that was a straight joke, and resumes mincing*

  39. thefanciestofpants says:

    Brilliant notion. Imagine a game based on that relationship.

  40. Garrett says:

    NSFW? That second image looks more like they are killing each other.

  41. fuzz says:

    @Garrett
    Daddy? Why were you hurting mummy last night? I hear her screaming….

    ;)

  42. LionsPhil says:

    Consult the Video Games section—people have been trying to enumerate suitable AIs in gaming for just this kind of thing. Because the Internet demands it.