I Ain’t Afraid Of No Cat

By Alec Meer on February 12th, 2009 at 5:22 pm.

As you’ve probably seen on various news sites that really should know better, tomorrow the streets of London will endure some feline-mounted advertising. Specially-trained black cats will stalk the pavements bearing FEAR 2-emblazoned jackets. The link? Well, tomorrow is Friday the 13th, the unluckiest day of the year. And black cats are also bad luck. And being superstitious is sort of like being afraid, and thus directly relevant to FEAR 2! Their plan is genius in its simplicity.

I’m really not impressed by this most tenuous of logic, so tomorrow I will lurk doggedly by my window watching out for one of these little frackers. When I see one, I’ll spring my scathing counter-attack…


(click to embiggen)

Yeah, eat that, bitches. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?

Unfortunately, my own black cat is not specially trained by any measure:

Still, dragging a screaming, squirming beast about Camden is bound to attract more attention to my advert than would a well-behaved moggy passing quietly by. I totally win.

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76 Comments »

  1. chesh says:

    Trying not to cackle madly at work. Damn you, Meer.

  2. jsutcliffe says:

    Black cats are only bad luck if you let them cross your path. Cats are cuddly and not the least bit fear-inducing.

    They’d do better promoting FEAR by letting a few rabies-addled creatures loose in the city. Hell, they’d get more media attention.

  3. shamanic miner says:

    Black cats are supposed to be lucky in the U.K.

    +1 to buy kings bounty , it’s ace.

  4. Theoban says:

    They should advertise FEAR 2 by reading Kieron’s Eurogamer review through loudspeakers and watch as the Very Very Angry Internet Men in the populace explode in apoplectic rage.

    “HOW DARE YOU SAY IT’S NOT THE BEST GAME EVERRRR RAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH” *pop*

  5. IdleHands says:

    @jsutcliffe –
    Black cats are fear inducing, especially when you find one sitting ontop of you slapping you awake at three in the morning after it climbed through your upstairs window. Cats are evil, they just trick you with their cuteness.

    Oh yeah and bonus points on the Middleman quote used, well played Meer, well played.

  6. Turin Turambar says:

    So… any opinions on the game Alec? I already know Kieron’s. ;)

  7. bansama says:

    Well it’s “meh” advertising for a somewhat decidely “meh” looking game.

  8. The_B says:

    I agree with the above, you should definitely add “Better than FEAR2 to your advert.” Then get into an actual catfight with one of those catverts.

  9. TheSpork says:

    Awww…
    Anyway aren’t they lucky if they cross your path, unlucky if you cross theirs? (In the uk anyway)

    @bansama – you’re saying black cats are “meh”? Very bad luck.

  10. Markoff Chaney says:

    I love your cat’s disdain for your attempt at advertising. Good Kitty.

    I hope they don’t pick suicidal black cats, or release them from the cat hangar they keep on Floor 10.

  11. cyrenic says:

    I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think I know who would win between this advertising and the Dawn of War II advertising.

    Needless to say, it would be messy.

  12. Fede says:

    Black cats are sooo cute :)

  13. EGTF says:

    Does your cat have a bit of bombay in him/her? Or full bombay? Just looks alot like mine, and he’s a playful bastard no mistake.

    Even if I’m not overwhelmed by the game this does make me like whichever souless advertising execs they got to come up with this idea.

  14. Heliocentric says:

    Poor man in a tank. The alma acts would rip him apart.

    Personally i think they should have gotten little girls in red dresses and no shoes to walk around london.

  15. pepper says:

    Awww.. cats! So much meme and so little time…

  16. The_B says:

    IN UR STREETZ, PROMOTIN UR GAMEZ?

  17. Mark-P says:

    Leaving aside the basic stupidity of the idea, I can’t imagine the cats enjoying this much. I’d rather see the marketing staff fitted with saddles and ridden like horses through Hyde Park by midgets. That might get me to open my wallet.

  18. Pags says:

    They should have had black-haired girls stand in the corner of everyone’s line of sight who disappear round a corner every time someone looks their way. Kind of like a creepier Anthony Gormley.

  19. James G says:

    The Google ads on this story are great!

    “Online Cat Shop
    Huge Online Cat Shop at low prices. Save now & get 10% off 1st order!
    http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shops/cat

    Although I am seriously disturbed that anyone would sell cats on-line. So much so I’ve actually stared out the URL.

    Edit: Phew, its merely cat accessories they sell. URL re-instated.

  20. amishmonster says:

    Did you slip a BSG curse word into your article? If so, excellent. Also, adorable cat.

  21. FernandoDANTE says:

    VIDEOS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN

  22. baf says:

    I wouldn’t say that black cats are “meh”, but I’ve known a black cat who said “meh”.

    I’ve also seen a young seal that could say “five”. It hadn’t quite worked out how to bark yet.

  23. Oddtwang says:

    @amishmonstre: And a Simpsons reference. Also excellent.

  24. Gnarl says:

    Pictures of the writers cat. That’s what tells you it’s a blog!
    Also very funny. That’s what tells you it’s Mr. Meer!

    Deduction tells me this can only be RPS.

  25. Tei says:

    Is caturday now?

  26. Klaus says:

    I had no idea it was Friday the 13th tomorrow. Ah well. I don’t know of any black felines, but I have a gray rabbit. He’s cool, cooler than any damn cat.

  27. TelefonHonda says:

    I’m waiting for a lolcat caption…

  28. Markoff Chaney says:

    @Oddtwang – What? It’s a perfectly cromulent word I’ll have you know.

  29. Idespair says:

    It seems like the marketing department took it’s cue from Sims 2 Pets. If only I could train my 3 to make some money.

  30. Warduke says:

    Hmmm… I have a sudden urge to play King’s Bounty.

  31. Ginger Yellow says:

    It depresses me to think someone got paid to come up with that godawful marketing plan. Now, if they had little girls in red wandering round London killing people with their minds, that would be scary.

  32. Brian says:

    “tomorrow I will lurk doggedly”

    But big laughs for your cat’s behaviour. My wife tried to teach our cat to walk on a leash but only succeeded in buffing the hardwood.

  33. dhex says:

    what a terrible frickin’ promotional “stunt”. girls in red dresses would have been much niftier.

    while mr. gillen’s eurogamer review of fear 2 was indeed harsh, he’s not really wrong.

  34. Deuteronomy says:

    Can we discuss the eurogamer fear 2 review here?

  35. Nick says:

    Plus people are reading the score not the text seemingly. It’s not really harsh at all.

  36. Eli Just says:

    That FEAR cat looks sad… But I’d definitely buy King’s Bounty if I saw your cat walking down the street.

  37. Klaus says:

    Whilst I don’t think this was an awesome marketing plan, I’d rather look at this than more pretty ‘gamer babes’ or any attractive females peddling games. I’m so disenchanted.

  38. dhex says:

    “Can we discuss the eurogamer fear 2 review here?”

    let’s discuss the comment thread instead. it’s a microcosm of what you’ll find in the project origin community site – a deep, nearly spiritual, loathing of the other.

    also the running conviction that the opinions of others are often part of a machiavellian plot to…discredit monolith.

  39. The Sombrero Kid says:

    genius

  40. Pags says:

    @Klaus: as cute and fluffy as I find kittens, I’m still pretty sure what I’d prefer to see. [/misogyny]

  41. Larington says:

    Wait.

    TRAIN?

    CATS?

    Those two words actually go TOGETHER?

  42. cliffski says:

    cats CAN be cuddly. They can also struggle like ferrets with knucledusters made of razor blades if they don’t agree that it’s time to visit the vet.
    That’s my experience.

  43. ...hmm... says:

    omg, kitteh!!!! seriously, they better be releasing like hundreds of them into a busy square – now that would freak me out.

  44. ...hmm... says:

    also, miaaaow – cats are evil and are secretly plotting to take over the world by assimilating themselves into a humanoid form – however before they can do this they need to study our behaviour, which is exactly why they are both A) so goddamn cuddly and B) so paranoid…

  45. ChaosSmurf says:

    Couldn’t you promote something good instead of King’s Bounty?

    WHO’S EXPLODIN WITH RAGE NOW, HATAZ?

  46. Peace of Eight says:

    Yum. Black cats are the tastiest. Fricassee lightly in butter after skinning and gutting. I prefer them de-veined, but some do prefer that chewy, stringy texture.

  47. Peace of Eight says:

    @Larington

    “TRAIN? CATS? Those two words actually go TOGETHER?”

    Certainly. Observe: “I like throwing cats in front of speeding trains.”

    See?

  48. James G says:

    @Chaos Smurf

    Sleep lightly tonight, for Alec will now attempt to sneak into your room and steal your zombie wife. (For revenge I add)

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