By Alec Meer on February 12th, 2009 at 5:22 pm.
As you’ve probably seen on various news sites that really should know better, tomorrow the streets of London will endure some feline-mounted advertising. Specially-trained black cats will stalk the pavements bearing FEAR 2-emblazoned jackets. The link? Well, tomorrow is Friday the 13th, the unluckiest day of the year. And black cats are also bad luck. And being superstitious is sort of like being afraid, and thus directly relevant to FEAR 2! Their plan is genius in its simplicity.
I’m really not impressed by this most tenuous of logic, so tomorrow I will lurk doggedly by my window watching out for one of these little frackers. When I see one, I’ll spring my scathing counter-attack…
(click to embiggen)
Yeah, eat that, bitches. WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?
Unfortunately, my own black cat is not specially trained by any measure:
Still, dragging a screaming, squirming beast about Camden is bound to attract more attention to my advert than would a well-behaved moggy passing quietly by. I totally win.
12/02/2009 at 17:26 chesh says:
Trying not to cackle madly at work. Damn you, Meer.
12/02/2009 at 17:27 jsutcliffe says:
Black cats are only bad luck if you let them cross your path. Cats are cuddly and not the least bit fear-inducing.
They’d do better promoting FEAR by letting a few rabies-addled creatures loose in the city. Hell, they’d get more media attention.
12/02/2009 at 17:30 shamanic miner says:
Black cats are supposed to be lucky in the U.K.
+1 to buy kings bounty , it’s ace.
12/02/2009 at 17:31 Theoban says:
They should advertise FEAR 2 by reading Kieron’s Eurogamer review through loudspeakers and watch as the Very Very Angry Internet Men in the populace explode in apoplectic rage.
“HOW DARE YOU SAY IT’S NOT THE BEST GAME EVERRRR RAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH” *pop*
12/02/2009 at 17:37 IdleHands says:
@jsutcliffe –
Black cats are fear inducing, especially when you find one sitting ontop of you slapping you awake at three in the morning after it climbed through your upstairs window. Cats are evil, they just trick you with their cuteness.
Oh yeah and bonus points on the Middleman quote used, well played Meer, well played.
12/02/2009 at 17:41 Turin Turambar says:
So… any opinions on the game Alec? I already know Kieron’s. ;)
12/02/2009 at 17:48 bansama says:
Well it’s “meh” advertising for a somewhat decidely “meh” looking game.
12/02/2009 at 17:52 The_B says:
I agree with the above, you should definitely add “Better than FEAR2 to your advert.” Then get into an actual catfight with one of those catverts.
12/02/2009 at 17:55 TheSpork says:
Awww…
Anyway aren’t they lucky if they cross your path, unlucky if you cross theirs? (In the uk anyway)
@bansama – you’re saying black cats are “meh”? Very bad luck.
12/02/2009 at 18:00 Markoff Chaney says:
I love your cat’s disdain for your attempt at advertising. Good Kitty.
I hope they don’t pick suicidal black cats, or release them from the cat hangar they keep on Floor 10.
12/02/2009 at 18:05 cyrenic says:
I’m going to go out on a limb and say I think I know who would win between this advertising and the Dawn of War II advertising.
Needless to say, it would be messy.
12/02/2009 at 18:08 Fede says:
Black cats are sooo cute :)
12/02/2009 at 18:11 EGTF says:
Does your cat have a bit of bombay in him/her? Or full bombay? Just looks alot like mine, and he’s a playful bastard no mistake.
Even if I’m not overwhelmed by the game this does make me like whichever souless advertising execs they got to come up with this idea.
12/02/2009 at 18:16 Heliocentric says:
Poor man in a tank. The alma acts would rip him apart.
Personally i think they should have gotten little girls in red dresses and no shoes to walk around london.
12/02/2009 at 18:19 pepper says:
Awww.. cats! So much meme and so little time…
12/02/2009 at 18:22 The_B says:
IN UR STREETZ, PROMOTIN UR GAMEZ?
12/02/2009 at 18:24 Mark-P says:
Leaving aside the basic stupidity of the idea, I can’t imagine the cats enjoying this much. I’d rather see the marketing staff fitted with saddles and ridden like horses through Hyde Park by midgets. That might get me to open my wallet.
12/02/2009 at 18:30 Pags says:
They should have had black-haired girls stand in the corner of everyone’s line of sight who disappear round a corner every time someone looks their way. Kind of like a creepier Anthony Gormley.
12/02/2009 at 18:48 James G says:
The Google ads on this story are great!
“Online Cat Shop
Huge Online Cat Shop at low prices. Save now & get 10% off 1st order!
http://www.zooplus.co.uk/shops/cat”
Although I am seriously disturbed that anyone would sell cats on-line. So much so I’ve actually stared out the URL.
Edit: Phew, its merely cat accessories they sell. URL re-instated.
12/02/2009 at 18:55 amishmonster says:
Did you slip a BSG curse word into your article? If so, excellent. Also, adorable cat.
12/02/2009 at 18:58 FernandoDANTE says:
VIDEOS OR IT DIDN’T HAPPEN
12/02/2009 at 19:01 baf says:
I wouldn’t say that black cats are “meh”, but I’ve known a black cat who said “meh”.
I’ve also seen a young seal that could say “five”. It hadn’t quite worked out how to bark yet.
12/02/2009 at 19:01 Oddtwang says:
@amishmonstre: And a Simpsons reference. Also excellent.
12/02/2009 at 19:04 Gnarl says:
Pictures of the writers cat. That’s what tells you it’s a blog!
Also very funny. That’s what tells you it’s Mr. Meer!
Deduction tells me this can only be RPS.
12/02/2009 at 19:18 Tei says:
Is caturday now?
12/02/2009 at 19:48 Gap Gen says:
AMAZING
12/02/2009 at 19:56 Klaus says:
I had no idea it was Friday the 13th tomorrow. Ah well. I don’t know of any black felines, but I have a gray rabbit. He’s cool, cooler than any damn cat.
12/02/2009 at 19:58 TelefonHonda says:
I’m waiting for a lolcat caption…
12/02/2009 at 19:58 Markoff Chaney says:
@Oddtwang – What? It’s a perfectly cromulent word I’ll have you know.
12/02/2009 at 20:04 Idespair says:
It seems like the marketing department took it’s cue from Sims 2 Pets. If only I could train my 3 to make some money.
12/02/2009 at 20:16 Warduke says:
Hmmm… I have a sudden urge to play King’s Bounty.
12/02/2009 at 20:29 Ginger Yellow says:
It depresses me to think someone got paid to come up with that godawful marketing plan. Now, if they had little girls in red wandering round London killing people with their minds, that would be scary.
12/02/2009 at 20:42 Brian says:
“tomorrow I will lurk doggedly”
But big laughs for your cat’s behaviour. My wife tried to teach our cat to walk on a leash but only succeeded in buffing the hardwood.
12/02/2009 at 20:50 dhex says:
what a terrible frickin’ promotional “stunt”. girls in red dresses would have been much niftier.
while mr. gillen’s eurogamer review of fear 2 was indeed harsh, he’s not really wrong.
12/02/2009 at 20:52 Deuteronomy says:
Can we discuss the eurogamer fear 2 review here?
12/02/2009 at 20:53 Nick says:
Plus people are reading the score not the text seemingly. It’s not really harsh at all.
12/02/2009 at 20:53 Eli Just says:
That FEAR cat looks sad… But I’d definitely buy King’s Bounty if I saw your cat walking down the street.
12/02/2009 at 21:00 Klaus says:
Whilst I don’t think this was an awesome marketing plan, I’d rather look at this than more pretty ‘gamer babes’ or any attractive females peddling games. I’m so disenchanted.
12/02/2009 at 21:07 dhex says:
“Can we discuss the eurogamer fear 2 review here?”
let’s discuss the comment thread instead. it’s a microcosm of what you’ll find in the project origin community site – a deep, nearly spiritual, loathing of the other.
also the running conviction that the opinions of others are often part of a machiavellian plot to…discredit monolith.
12/02/2009 at 21:11 The Sombrero Kid says:
genius
12/02/2009 at 21:14 Pags says:
@Klaus: as cute and fluffy as I find kittens, I’m still pretty sure what I’d prefer to see. [/misogyny]
12/02/2009 at 21:30 Larington says:
Wait.
TRAIN?
CATS?
Those two words actually go TOGETHER?
12/02/2009 at 21:34 cliffski says:
cats CAN be cuddly. They can also struggle like ferrets with knucledusters made of razor blades if they don’t agree that it’s time to visit the vet.
That’s my experience.
12/02/2009 at 21:37 ...hmm... says:
omg, kitteh!!!! seriously, they better be releasing like hundreds of them into a busy square – now that would freak me out.
12/02/2009 at 21:54 ...hmm... says:
also, miaaaow – cats are evil and are secretly plotting to take over the world by assimilating themselves into a humanoid form – however before they can do this they need to study our behaviour, which is exactly why they are both A) so goddamn cuddly and B) so paranoid…
12/02/2009 at 21:59 ChaosSmurf says:
Couldn’t you promote something good instead of King’s Bounty?
WHO’S EXPLODIN WITH RAGE NOW, HATAZ?
12/02/2009 at 22:51 The_B says:
I’m sorry guys. It had to be done.
12/02/2009 at 23:01 Peace of Eight says:
Yum. Black cats are the tastiest. Fricassee lightly in butter after skinning and gutting. I prefer them de-veined, but some do prefer that chewy, stringy texture.
12/02/2009 at 23:03 Peace of Eight says:
@Larington
“TRAIN? CATS? Those two words actually go TOGETHER?”
Certainly. Observe: “I like throwing cats in front of speeding trains.”
See?
12/02/2009 at 23:06 James G says:
@Chaos Smurf
Sleep lightly tonight, for Alec will now attempt to sneak into your room and steal your zombie wife. (For revenge I add)
12/02/2009 at 23:15 Blain says:
I thought you were going to put a “No Fear” shirt on a dog (rottweiler perhaps?) and chase the cats and their handlers down the street.
You could improve their ad campaign and terrorize people. It’s win win.
12/02/2009 at 23:15 Mike says:
Did you… sellotape that?
12/02/2009 at 23:17 Caiman says:
Mark_P: yes, because clearly taking cats for a walk constitutes blatant animal abuse. They’ll be taking dogs for a walk next.
12/02/2009 at 23:33 ChaosSmurf says:
… I have a wife?
12/02/2009 at 23:34 DigitalSignalX says:
I’ve heard urban myths about Anne Sullivans who teach cats to use toilets, open doors, fetch things that aren’t small dead animals, even walk on a leash. However after 30 years of various cat-coexistence and failed attempts at suggestive reprogramming, I think the odds of it happening to any of mine is about the same as Fear2 being a totally amazing must-have title.
12/02/2009 at 23:37 unique_identifier says:
Your catvertisement is much better Alec. As for Kieron’s Eurogamer review, two of my friends have bitterly opposed impressions of fear2 based on the demo:
friend a: fear2 seems like more fear1, which was fun. yay!
friend b: fear2 seems like more fear1, why should we bother playing it again?
13/02/2009 at 00:07 wcaypahwat says:
Meer-cat???
13/02/2009 at 00:53 Saul says:
@wcaypahwat: you win :)
13/02/2009 at 01:14 Nervous Little Tit says:
starts with a W…
rhymes with spinach…
13/02/2009 at 02:02 Hoernchen says:
Whi-nach ? Probably not.
13/02/2009 at 02:15 bansama says:
@bansama – you’re saying black cats are “meh”? Very bad luck.
Having shared a house with several, yeah. They’re nothing special. The huge furry odd-eyed white cat I had, now he was something special. You sure didn’t want to upset him when he wanted to eat your dinner. The black cats though? Real push-overs.
13/02/2009 at 02:32 Tei says:
Is 3:32 AM. Can we start the furry jokes? this is the internets…
13/02/2009 at 03:35 Tei says:
Now?
13/02/2009 at 06:30 mpk says:
Did someone find a magic box containing stupid marketing ideas Acclaim never got round to using?
13/02/2009 at 07:18 Andy`` says:
“@bansama – you’re saying black cats are “meh”? Very bad luck.”
The huge furry odd-eyed white cat I had, now he was something special. You sure didn’t want to upset him when he wanted to eat your dinner. The black cats though? Real push-overs.
Don’t be racist!
Sorry, I had to, heheh. Now, who’s the one taking bets on how long it takes for PETA to turn up and…
(Use Arrows Keys and Enter select a dialogue option)
> [Sympathy] help save these poor little kitties?
> [Cynicism] use this as an opportunity to advertise themselves?
> [Unrelated Topic] Alec your cat has freaky eyes. Woah.
13/02/2009 at 07:41 pepper says:
now if they would give those cats random firing lasers!
13/02/2009 at 08:36 TreeFrog says:
This would be a great way to sell something to my wife. If the product in question wasn’t a graphically violent FPS, that is.
13/02/2009 at 08:45 Dinger says:
My review of Kieron’s review of F.E.A.R. 2:
Not paid by the word, I gather.
13/02/2009 at 08:58 Kommissar Nicko says:
All these kittehs look exactly like mine. And Alec’s cat acts exactly like mine. Daaaaaaaaaaaaaw. I am intrigued by King’s Bounty now.
13/02/2009 at 09:02 Nallen says:
I think saying this is the unluckiest day of the year is a little unfair on the other Friday the 13ths in March and November!
13/02/2009 at 11:41 Demikaze says:
That cat in the first photo looks so phenomenally sad.
Good!
Evil things.
13/02/2009 at 12:32 Player1 says:
Genius?!?! Jeeez, open your eyes!! This must be the most stupid campaign in the history of mankind (next to Sony’s stunt with the goat of course). Cats tend to flee when there are lots of people around them, you can’t train them for that. These poor kitties will have a lot of stress walking on a leash in the middle of the street, unable to run away. Gosh, humans are soooo incredibly arrogant towards other beings. I wish that the people behind this braindead idea get attached to a leash and put into a cage with tigers…
13/02/2009 at 14:28 dhex says:
well, it beats their original plan to skin them and use them as kites.
13/02/2009 at 16:43 JonFitt says:
Maybe the cats inspire FEAR as they are trained to leap on your head when you’re in the middle of a game. Like my cat. That’ll scare the crap out of you.
13/02/2009 at 17:00 Zuffox says:
Maybe they don’t expect the black cats in the street to draw attention to the game rather than the disbelieving journos, and subsequently readers, writing about it.
It managed to get them free advertizing here at least.
13/02/2009 at 22:55 Good Luck Charm says:
cool kittie!