Red Alert 3 Uprising: Goo Squirter Trailer (Hoho!)

By Jim Rossignol on February 18th, 2009 at 7:35 pm.


Last year’s splendidly stupid RTS spectactular, Red Alert 3, is soon to be joined by an expandalone game, Uprising. This new campaign is set after the end of the story arc of Red Alert 3 and features much of the acting talent of the original. The trailer beyond the jump shows developer Mical Pedriana explaining just what is going on in Uprising. He introduces some new Gothic environments, and the toxic goo squirting Desolators. No mention of the critical, relevant, addition of Holly Valance to the plot, however.


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35 Comments »

  1. Fumarole says:

    Darker and grittier!

  2. DD says:

    For some reason i haven’t played this game yet. I need to get it.

  3. Pace says:

    Man, there were, like, hardly any girls in that video at all! wtf?

  4. The_B says:

    Bah. I messed up that comment and now it’s held for moderation. Sorry guys!

  5. A-Scale says:

    As someone who was brought into RTS games largely by Red Alert, and someone who adored RA2, I’m genuinely sad to say that RA3 never caught my attention for more than a moment. It has more of a Generals feel than RA2. The cartooney units, way over the top humor (not just silly, but genuinely stupid), massive focus on sexy ladies, seemingly simplistic gameplay and the persistent co-op made me feel that RA3 was more about getting new players into the RA franchise than playing to old fans. I’m disappointed in that, and I don’t think this expandalone will get me to play either.

  6. Pags says:

    I prefer the video where Ric Flair fights a guy in a bear suit.

  7. Skurmedel says:

    Finally an “interview” with a developer who doesn’t spout a lot of crap. Yes he tries to sell the game, but he doesn’t try to be cool, or tell us how “art” it is (nudge nudge Epic.)

  8. DERP says:

    To be honest I wasn’t very happy with RA3 alone because it really felt like they tried to change too many things…like, even fundamentals like how spies work changed. It’s not completely oriented for mindless fun anymore, they tried to go for RTS fun. I don’t think that’s what I want out of the RA franchise…
    Also, new art direction could use some work too imo.
    /rant

  9. Devan says:

    I think calling it acting “talent” is giving too much credit. It doesn’t help that the dialogue is pretty awful, but even reasonably straightforward lines like the one about the chronosphere seem very poorly delivered.
    This was the biggest turnoff of RA3 for me.

  10. A-Scale says:

    RA is supposed to be corny, but trying overtly for laughs just seems forced.

  11. eyemessiah says:

    I rushed out Yuriko Omega and owned the nap with her I want to fk her so hard…

  12. Elliott says:

    A-Scale: “The cartooney units, way over the top humor (not just silly, but genuinely stupid), massive focus on sexy ladies, seemingly simplistic gameplay and the persistent co-op made me feel that RA3 was more about getting new players into the RA franchise than playing to old fans.”

    ahhh man, you named all the reasons I liked it! I had way too much fun explaining the Man Cannon and the Soviet Easter Island mission to my roommates (“So the Russians don’t include doors on their troop transports…” “The Moai? Actually disguising tesla coils.”)

    That said: I played on the medium difficulty, and it seemed pretty easy; it was just a matter of getting a heavy-hitting unit into the enemy base. Guess I don’t have room to complain, not till I’ve tried Hard. And maybe this new-newfangled Generals Challenge will channel the difficult parts of RA: Generals?

    And I wasn’t really playing it for the challenge; I wanted to see more insane cut scenes and more insane units.

  13. DSX says:

    After shooting 5 flying bears from a soviet troop transport at the behest of a pleather clad officer with more cleavage then a go-daddy commercial, I realized RA3 had officially jumped the shark and frankly felt kind of insulted. I gave it 3 missions and uninstalled it. Pure crap.

  14. Jante says:

    Red Alert; serious business.

  15. Okami says:

    After shooting 5 flying bears from a soviet troop transport at the behest of a pleather clad officer with more cleavage then a go-daddy commercial

    That actually sounds pretty awesome, more videogames should aspire to be like that. I guess I’m going to buy the game after all..

  16. Erlam says:

    “After shooting 5 flying bears from a soviet troop transport at the behest of a pleather clad officer with more cleavage then a go-daddy commercial, I realized RA3 had officially jumped the shark and frankly felt kind of insulted.”

    Wow, the end of that paragraph did NOT go where I thought it was going.

  17. Nimic says:

    I have to eco the previous couple of sentiments, I thought that comment was going somewhere along the lines of “at this point I realized how splendidly awesome RA3 was”.

    That was my feeling, anyway.

  18. Rich_P says:

    I adore RA2 (it’s the only game I’ve beat more than twice), but found the RA3 demo insultingly bad, both in terms of cutscenes and gameplay. Maybe the full game is better?

    Anyway, it seems like EA wants me to pay $30 for a collection of B-movie outtakes. The actual RTS game behind the big-breasted models and ridiculous wrestlers just doesn’t seem worth it.

  19. mister slim says:

    At what point do we get an RTS where beating a mission earns you hardcore pornography?

    Actually that doesn’t sound so bad. Someone should make that.

    Bonus points for just modding the Left Behind game to substitute pr0n for the post-mission (de)briefings.

  20. Philip says:

    Did anyone notice the woman from Prison Break here?

    Or was it announced before..

  21. Lukasz says:

    Allied won in RA1
    Allied won in RA2
    Allied won in RA3

    wtf?

  22. Bret says:

    And yet, they lose massive amounts of tech and territory every game.

    They should go back and hire Tesla. Then maybe things would work better.

  23. thefanciestofpants says:

    Holly Valance? Who the fuck gave her money. What is it with the English and australian actors?

    It’s like the accent puts them into some sort of hypnotic state where they believe the person they are watching is anything short of shotgun-blast-to-the-face goddawful.

  24. TCM says:

    Anybody who complains that RA3 is too over the top hasn’t played RA2/Yuri’s Revenge in quite some time.

    That said, RA3 does play a bit faster and looser with continuity and cleavage. >_>

  25. Muzman says:

    shooting 5 flying bears from a soviet troop transport at the behest of a pleather clad officer with more cleavage then a go-daddy commercial

    Solid gold, provided, of course, that the bears are real bears
    Also, I don’t think anyone cares about Holly Valance for the way she talks somehow.

  26. Okami says:

    Solid gold, provided, of course, that the bears are real bears
    Also, I don’t think anyone cares about Holly Valance for the way she talks somehow.

    BEARFORCE ONE! BEARFORCE ONE!

  27. Feet says:

    All I know is Holly Valance is fit. And really, at the end of the day, isn’t that all RA3 is about?

  28. phil says:

    Holly Valance, amoured bears, Ric Flair, Dracula, goo, Akira and transformers; it’s little someone tapped into the sub-conscious of my inner fourteen year old.

  29. drewski says:

    I was tremendously bored by Red Alert 3.

  30. Gap Gen says:

    Yeah, I have no real interest in RA3 or this. Still, there are plenty more explodey RTSs around – WiC may not have armoured bears, but it does have about a million things exploding on-screen at any one time.

  31. the affront says:

    Didn’t like any C&C since RA2, personally. Generals was somewhat ok-ish, but that was about it. They really need to stop rehashing the same mechanics, the same controls, the same UI from 1995 and go with the time. Also the funding for the “humor” and plentiful tits in RA3 should have gone into making a better game…

    But maybe that’s just because I’m a huge SupCom/TA & Ground Control & Homeworld fanboy and have come to expect the additional things those offered while doing everything but cheesy videos that are simply too stupid to be funny downright better in every way…

  32. Pod says:

    Why is the woman in that picture pretending her finger is a mustache?

  33. caesarbear says:

    For a game that’s supposed to be “playful”, it didn’t play that way.

  34. Fumarole says:

    Methinks all the naysayers haven’t seen the video of the US Vice President.

  35. Radiant says:

    Holly Valance?
    Smaaaaaaash.