Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Me So Unicorny: Diablo 3 T-shirt Splenditude

By Kieron Gillen on February 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm.

I want to say something about Virgins and Unicorns, but... no.

Oh, this is just lovely. We saw on Offworld that following on from the Diablo III: The Rainbow Islands furore last year, the Blizzard chaps are snickering behind the hand. With doctored screens and their own internal T-shirts (Grab via MTV). Which is the design at the top. But, most relevantly, you can now order for your very-ownsome via Nerdy-Ts.

As a note to developers, I’d be all over a Rainbow Islands Versus Diablo game. Just for the record.

EDIT: Just in comments thread, there’s a 20% off code – “NerdyFriend2009″ – which works until Monday.

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72 Comments »

  1. PHeMoX says:

    Knowing Blizzard they will not really darken up the art style and direction of Diablo III. They do not care, knowing Word of Warcraft did great with the kiddie graphics, but I am confident quite a bunch of people would have liked more mature graphics in that game as well….

    Anyways, I dig the t-shirts, yeah, let Blizzard know we don’t agree!!

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  2. bobphile says:

    hooray for unsanctioned merchandise!

    You guys are cool with me making RPS teeshirts to sell online right?

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  3. Ian says:

    I’ve never owned a gaming-related t-shirt but I am SORELY tempted by this.

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  4. DSX says:

    Is that unicorn actually shooting a rainbow out of it’s arse? Awesome. Where the heck is THAT game? Any word if D3 is coming out in three bleeding-the-customer-insane parts like SC2?

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  5. AndrewC says:

    Hippos with ice-cream cones.

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  6. Pags says:

    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.

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  7. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Hehe, that T-shirt is great. I spotted it on Offworld yesterday but failed to realise that it was something Blizzard had cooked up with themselves.

    @ PHeMoX: I have a feeling you’re grasping at the wrong end of the stick there.

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  8. Ian says:

    I want that unicorn in the final game.

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  9. undead dolphin hacker says:

    @Pags

    So true, Blizzard games might actually sell if they innovated. It’s a shame they don’t innovate though, which explains why all their games have abysmal sales. Because Blizzard games clearly are not being purchased.

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  10. More power to them. 2008 in mainstream gaming was the year of bleak, gray, shattered worlds for us to run through, Far Cry 2 notwithstanding.

    So if Diablo 3 in fact uses some bright colors, then I only hope I can see it before the cones in my eyes atrophy thanks to every other game made.

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  11. Pags says:

    It’s a shame they don’t innovate though, which explains why all their games have abysmal sales. Because Blizzard games clearly are not being purchased.

    Innovation =/= Sales

    Unless you believe Nickelback are the next Beatles or something.

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  12. Tei says:

    This is a nerfed version of the original one. On the original there are degradation of colores, here are flat. To me this lost almost all the appeal.

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  13. Tei says:

    No real reason why this has been posted, other than raindow, unicorns and wonderfull elves:

    Terry Pratchet Elves.
    “Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
    Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
    Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
    Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
    Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
    Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
    The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
    No one ever said elves are nice.
    Elves are bad.”

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  14. Gap Gen says:

    Actually, I’m pretty sure a unicorn that gibbed enemies with a rainbow attack would make Diablo 3 at least four times as awesome.

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  15. I am beginning to understand this comment system says:

    “Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.”

    :0

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  16. Dave says:

    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.

    Right. Because clearly, the entire Diablo 3 development team abandoned their work for several weeks to produce a couple of JPGs and a t-shirt design.

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  17. @Tei:

    The Fair Folk have never been good guys. We don’t call them fairies out of the kindness of our hearts. We call them that out of fear.

    See also: The Kindly Ones.

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  18. Erlam says:

    “Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.”

    People seem to have this bizarre idea that 100% of any person working on a team is, at any time, working on every single part of a game.

    Do you think pre-pro artists and character/level design artists are still creating basic ideas for enemies at levels?

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  19. Tei says:

    I suppose easter eggs is part of the culture of Blizzard. I could be good for the moral {for the more geeky minded}. And I suppose with crunch-times moral is important.

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  20. Pags says:

    Right. Because clearly, the entire Diablo 3 development team abandoned their work for several weeks to produce a couple of JPGs and a t-shirt design.

    Creative industries are a funny bunch; whatever you place the focus on, that’s the direction the entire company will take.

    If you’re like Valve and your focus is playtesting and a lassez-faire attitude to corporate structure, you end up with well-balanced, artistic games where everyone’s input is valid.

    If you’re like Blizzard, and your focus is on PR stunts and marketing, you end up with polished games that ultimately lack innovation.

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  21. CakeAddict says:

    Haha, great t-shirt, although certainly something I wont wear in public unless I want to be ridiculed by those that don’t know diablo 3.

    And I agree that blizzard doesn’t innovate none the less their games are great and I don’t mind that they don’t.
    Although they are starting to loose WoW subscribers because of that, I think. (Well.. me at least)

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  22. Ian says:

    @ Dave/Erlam: That is clearly the case. They probably killed a few kittens while they were at it.

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  23. Pod says:

    “Pags says:
    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.”

    Because of course the Art team are the ones who go around designing and innovating?

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  24. Pags says:

    I fear I may have become the new A-Scale.

    Nevermind, my comments make sense to me. Like I say, Blizzard’s priority is to answer to it’s shareholders: stuff like this is indicative of that. They’ve turned what started as an admittedly bizarre complaint into a money-making tool.

    Of course I’m just crazy with Blizzard-hate, and am apparently the subject of investigation by the literal-brigade.

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  25. Pags: I was about to say something, but you’ve given yourself a good telling off worse than I was going to.

    KG

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  26. Pags says:

    Always best to admit defeat before your losses are too great. In this case I’m not sure my ego could’ve survived the attack.

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  27. Nick says:

    New A-scale? Don’t be THAT hard on yourself…

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  28. Nero says:

    If there’s not a secret Unicorn level in Diablo 3 then I will be upset.

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  29. Xercies says:

    They don’t realize they did make a mistake with their graphics…

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  30. unclelou says:

    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.

    Heh, there’s always one, isn’t there.

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  31. Dolphan says:

    But wouldn’t an innovation versus polish debate be, y’know, fun? Fight your corner, Pags! Bring Blizzard down!

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  32. Tei says:

    It seems innovation withouth polish is a bad idea (most people with great ideas and not polish are backrupt) and polish withouth innovation just work. So innovation is important (IMHumbleO), but is just a ingredient, the main base sould be polish.

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  33. RealHorrorshow says:

    If you want to see attempted innovation without polish, look no further than that clusterfuck STALKER: Clear Sky. After that and some other games, I’m prefer more to be on the safe side…

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  34. Quistie says:

    Pags is right that innovation is required and it’s always been my one little whisper against Blizzard cos lets face it they polish everything else to the nth degree and if they are in your genre they are truly amazing games.

    But… I dunno making a silly t-shirt probably didnt take that long :-) Heyyy unless they took 1 year to polish the art design. In fact i bet they KNEW there would be a diablo 3 art backlash 2 years ago and this is part of a merchandising master plan!

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  35. The Hammer says:

    They were wearing these to Blizzcon last year, which was cool.

    <3 Blizzard.

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  36. Funky Badger says:

    Innovations sucks.

    Eraserhead was innovative.
    Kid A was innovative.
    Allan Stanford’s investment plan was innovative.

    I’d settle for “good quality” every time.

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  37. DSX says:

    “If you’re like Blizzard, and your focus is on PR stunts and marketing, you end up with polished crappy games that ultimately lack innovation.”

    Fixed that for you so EA can sit at the table.

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  38. James G says:

    Innovation is over-rated!

    More seriously though, I wasn’t entirely joking. While innovation is indeed a good thing, and we need at least some developers focusing on it, it certainly isn’t the be all and end all of development. There is something to be said for the process of refining, distilling and polishing.

    Oddly though, I’ve never really fallen for a Blizzard game. I don’t think this is down to the innovation/polish debate. My favourite games of all time includes a mix of the polished and the innovative (and those which are both).

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  39. Azradesh says:

    @Pags
    “Innovation =/= Sales” but innovation =/= a good game. Yes Blizzard don’t innovate much, but they do make very good games, you may not like them, but they are still good.
    But I get the feeling that you’re one of those people that just hates anything popular.

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  40. CryingTheAnnualKingo says:

    I agree with Pags’ angry admonitions. If there’s any PC game developer out there with the funds and freedom to make something completely new and amazing, its Blizzard, but they will keep churning out sequel after sequel to appease their smelly legions. New IP time, Blizzard.
    Oh, and I’ll take Eraserhead and Stalker: Clear Sky over Transformers and Call of Duty any fucking day of the week.

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  41. Max says:

    It’s almost refreshing to see a developer take a stab at their snobbish fans rather than just ignoring them.

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  42. Dan Lawrence says:

    Anyone else currently enjoying a secret superior laugh at the first comment on this post? I feel like such a bastard :)

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  43. Funky Badger says:

    What the hell is Eraserhead even about, I mean its got that fella that looks like Bob Mortimer and then there’s a little babby alien and, err, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

    That’s one and a half hours of my life I’m not getting back. Naff as Transformers was it had giant shapeshifting robots, and Megan Fox. So I think we can see who’s winning here… ;-)

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  44. Thirith says:

    I don’t see why I should have to choose between Stalker and Call of Duty. Both do what they do brilliantly.

    Similarly, I appreciate both a perfectly honed evolution of a game/genre and an original, less crowd-pleasing diamond in the rough.

    Blizzard doing its thing (and doing it extremely well) doesn’t take anything away from the Braids or World of Goos.

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  45. PAGS? So weak. I can’t believe you caved in so easily.

    Blizzard haven’t been able to wring a single original new idea out of a workforce of thousands in the best part of a decade.

    That’s a tiny bit odd, when you think about it. By pure chance you’d expect Blizzard to have accidentally hit on a new idea by now, without really meaning to.

    Presumably Blizzard’s notoriously rigid corporatocracy lobotomises their minions into brain dead slushdrones from the outset to ensure any and all such unwarranted outbreaks of innovation can be contained and stamped out before they get anywhere near live code.

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  46. Taillefer says:

    I think Pags struck a nerve.

    I’ve never had much interest in Blizzard either. I only own one Blizzard title. They just don’t seem to produce what I’m looking for in my games (although I’m still not entirely sure what that is). But, I hear they make nice t-shirts.

    Also, I don’t think it’s fair to blame bad art design on a man who seems to have no eyes.

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  47. Didn’t stop you playing WoW for weeks on end, eh Meat?

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  48. No, and nor should it. Though I haven’t played WoW for a year and a half. And maybe that’s the point.

    Of course I will play Starcraft 2 and Diablo III, and will probably even enjoy them. But *no more than* that.

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  49. Jacques says:

    Innovation? What’s the point? Thousands of people are still logging onto Battle.net to play the original Diablo 2.

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  50. Muzman says:

    Pags pile-on is go!
    I’m kinda curious how Valve’s output, besides where they bought/brought other people’s stuff to call their own/into the fold, constitutes a great deal of innovation either.
    There’s a good ding dong to be had there.

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  51. But meat, nothing compares to starcraft 2.

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  52. CryingTheAnnualKingo says:

    Explaining Eraserhead to someone defeats the very purpose of the film. Why does everything have to be explained, rationalized, or otherwise demystified? Learn to live with and love the mysteries of life. If you are still curious, read Walter Chaw’s take:
    http://filmfreakcentral.net/dvdreviews/eraserhead.htm

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  53. plant42 says:

    I don’t think mocking your playerbase is a good business decision, but they are rolling in dough from WOW and can probably afford to lose a few people.

    Just keep in mind Blizzard – you’re already getting a bit bloated. A few more years and you’ll be the Microsoft of gaming, unable to churn out anything but costly derivative sequels.

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  54. Rich_P says:

    ahahahah

    Not only is the shirt hilarious, but I picture some Diablo fanfolks getting mighty upset.

    They should include the shirts with the Diablo III Collector’s Edition.

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  55. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    @ Pags:

    They’ve turned what started as an admittedly bizarre complaint into a money-making tool.

    Unless I’m very much mistaken, the store selling the T-shirts isn’t connected to Blizzard. Their shirts just seem to be based on the internal Blizzard shirts.

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  56. Rei Onryou says:

    I’ll see your secret Unicorn level and raise you a “There is no Unicorn level” cheat in SC2.

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  57. Funky Badger says:

    plant42: yeah, it must be terrible to make as much money as Microsoft.

    Crying theAnnualThing: thanks for the invite, but I’ve already given Eraserhead too much of my life :-)

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  58. Pags says:

    But I get the feeling that you’re one of those people that just hates anything popular.

    I like games that are popular, though only games that are popular for the right reasons. If you want though, you can erase all memory of this comment and remain safe and cosy in your assumptions.

    Unless I’m very much mistaken, the store selling the T-shirts isn’t connected to Blizzard.

    It isn’t? Boy is my face even redder. I assumed it was because otherwise there might be some issues with copyright/trademark/I-don’t-know-what-the-correct-legal-term-is?

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  59. Arathain says:

    Blizzard do what they do very well. While they may not have too many new ideas they polish what they make to such a high degree that it raises the standard for the rest of the industry. On the whole, a good thing, I think.

    If I want innovation there are more great titles, especially from the indie sector, than I will ever have time to play. Sometimes I don’t want to be wowed with the new; I just want a really solid, fun game. I tell you, PC gaming has never been better, and Blizzard play their part.

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  60. Ghastly says:

    Wow PheMox you do realize the shirt was originally made BY BLIZZARD right? You’ve got to be the biggest idiot I’ve ever seen. Good Job!

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  61. Saul says:

    I don’t even like Blizzard games very much, but this is pure awesome. No more need be said.

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  62. Okami says:

    One could say that the insane amount of polish and tweaking Blizzard put into their games is innovative enough in an industry where most companies declare gold master status the moment the game stops erasing your entire harddrive everytime you click the middle mouse button.

    I know it has become modern to bash on Blizzard ever since they “sold out” (I’ll never understand how people can accuse any company of “selling out” – it’s like accusing water of beeing wet) by becoming unbelievably successfull, but there’s a rather simple reason for that: they create incredibly good games.

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  63. We really love the buzz you guys are generating. So much that we thought we’d go ahead and share this sweet coupon code for 20% off!!

    Enter “NerdyFriend2009″ for 20% off your order.

    (The code expires Monday [2/23/09] Tell your friends too!)

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  64. Kommissar Nicko says:

    As mentioned by others, I too would be interested to see Blizzard level their gigantic money-cannon at a new idea, rather than a further polishing of the same shit.

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  65. BargainBinLaden says:

    @Funky Badger: “Naff as Transformers was it had giant shapeshifting robots, and Megan Fox…”

    My doctor would be grateful if you’d kindly not mention that…film…or the hormonal-teen-boy’s current golden, shining Fap-meat. It’s apparently not good for my blood pressure.

    Meanwhile…Unicrons, er, unicorns with rainbow butt cannon-attacks are AWESOME. I’ve never played a Diablo game but I promise I’ll buy this one if I can play as a Unicorn who shoots rainbows from it’s magical sphincter.

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  66. minipixel says:

    I say that the secret level will be the “Secret rainbow level”, because rainbow > unicorn.
    :)

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  67. Tyrrin says:

    Are you people stupid?!?!?! You do realize that blizzard sells enough games and has enough subscribers (WoW) that they could buy and start their own damn country, military force and all…

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    I am willing to argue that a reliable paper writing service supposes to be a light on the road of research essay writing. Therefore, people are able use it every time they want buy custom essay.

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  69. prom gowns says:

    Really very nice site!I have you bookmarked your site.

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