Me So Unicorny: Diablo 3 T-shirt Splenditude

By Kieron Gillen on February 19th, 2009 at 4:21 pm.

I want to say something about Virgins and Unicorns, but... no.

Oh, this is just lovely. We saw on Offworld that following on from the Diablo III: The Rainbow Islands furore last year, the Blizzard chaps are snickering behind the hand. With doctored screens and their own internal T-shirts (Grab via MTV). Which is the design at the top. But, most relevantly, you can now order for your very-ownsome via Nerdy-Ts.

As a note to developers, I’d be all over a Rainbow Islands Versus Diablo game. Just for the record.

EDIT: Just in comments thread, there’s a 20% off code – “NerdyFriend2009″ – which works until Monday.

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72 Comments »

  1. PHeMoX says:

    Knowing Blizzard they will not really darken up the art style and direction of Diablo III. They do not care, knowing Word of Warcraft did great with the kiddie graphics, but I am confident quite a bunch of people would have liked more mature graphics in that game as well….

    Anyways, I dig the t-shirts, yeah, let Blizzard know we don’t agree!!

  2. bobphile says:

    hooray for unsanctioned merchandise!

    You guys are cool with me making RPS teeshirts to sell online right?

  3. Ian says:

    I’ve never owned a gaming-related t-shirt but I am SORELY tempted by this.

  4. DSX says:

    Is that unicorn actually shooting a rainbow out of it’s arse? Awesome. Where the heck is THAT game? Any word if D3 is coming out in three bleeding-the-customer-insane parts like SC2?

  5. AndrewC says:

    Hippos with ice-cream cones.

  6. Pags says:

    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.

  7. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Hehe, that T-shirt is great. I spotted it on Offworld yesterday but failed to realise that it was something Blizzard had cooked up with themselves.

    @ PHeMoX: I have a feeling you’re grasping at the wrong end of the stick there.

  8. Ian says:

    I want that unicorn in the final game.

  9. undead dolphin hacker says:

    @Pags

    So true, Blizzard games might actually sell if they innovated. It’s a shame they don’t innovate though, which explains why all their games have abysmal sales. Because Blizzard games clearly are not being purchased.

  10. Citizen Parker says:

    More power to them. 2008 in mainstream gaming was the year of bleak, gray, shattered worlds for us to run through, Far Cry 2 notwithstanding.

    So if Diablo 3 in fact uses some bright colors, then I only hope I can see it before the cones in my eyes atrophy thanks to every other game made.

  11. Pags says:

    It’s a shame they don’t innovate though, which explains why all their games have abysmal sales. Because Blizzard games clearly are not being purchased.

    Innovation =/= Sales

    Unless you believe Nickelback are the next Beatles or something.

  12. Tei says:

    This is a nerfed version of the original one. On the original there are degradation of colores, here are flat. To me this lost almost all the appeal.

  13. Tei says:

    No real reason why this has been posted, other than raindow, unicorns and wonderfull elves:

    Terry Pratchet Elves.
    “Elves are wonderful. They provoke wonder.
    Elves are marvellous. They cause marvels.
    Elves are fantastic. They create fantasies.
    Elves are glamorous. They project glamour.
    Elves are enchanting. They weave enchantment.
    Elves are terrific. They beget terror.
    The thing about words is that meanings can twist just like a snake, and if you want to find snakes look for them behind words that have changed their meaning.
    No one ever said elves are nice.
    Elves are bad.”

  14. Gap Gen says:

    Actually, I’m pretty sure a unicorn that gibbed enemies with a rainbow attack would make Diablo 3 at least four times as awesome.

  15. I am beginning to understand this comment system says:

    “Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.”

    :0

  16. Dave says:

    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.

    Right. Because clearly, the entire Diablo 3 development team abandoned their work for several weeks to produce a couple of JPGs and a t-shirt design.

  17. Lu-Tze says:

  18. Meat Circus says:

    @Tei:

    The Fair Folk have never been good guys. We don’t call them fairies out of the kindness of our hearts. We call them that out of fear.

    See also: The Kindly Ones.

  19. Erlam says:

    “Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.”

    People seem to have this bizarre idea that 100% of any person working on a team is, at any time, working on every single part of a game.

    Do you think pre-pro artists and character/level design artists are still creating basic ideas for enemies at levels?

  20. Tei says:

    I suppose easter eggs is part of the culture of Blizzard. I could be good for the moral {for the more geeky minded}. And I suppose with crunch-times moral is important.

  21. Pags says:

    Right. Because clearly, the entire Diablo 3 development team abandoned their work for several weeks to produce a couple of JPGs and a t-shirt design.

    Creative industries are a funny bunch; whatever you place the focus on, that’s the direction the entire company will take.

    If you’re like Valve and your focus is playtesting and a lassez-faire attitude to corporate structure, you end up with well-balanced, artistic games where everyone’s input is valid.

    If you’re like Blizzard, and your focus is on PR stunts and marketing, you end up with polished games that ultimately lack innovation.

  22. CakeAddict says:

    Haha, great t-shirt, although certainly something I wont wear in public unless I want to be ridiculed by those that don’t know diablo 3.

    And I agree that blizzard doesn’t innovate none the less their games are great and I don’t mind that they don’t.
    Although they are starting to loose WoW subscribers because of that, I think. (Well.. me at least)

  23. Ian says:

    @ Dave/Erlam: That is clearly the case. They probably killed a few kittens while they were at it.

  24. Pod says:

    “Pags says:
    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.”

    Because of course the Art team are the ones who go around designing and innovating?

  25. Pags says:

    I fear I may have become the new A-Scale.

    Nevermind, my comments make sense to me. Like I say, Blizzard’s priority is to answer to it’s shareholders: stuff like this is indicative of that. They’ve turned what started as an admittedly bizarre complaint into a money-making tool.

    Of course I’m just crazy with Blizzard-hate, and am apparently the subject of investigation by the literal-brigade.

  26. Kieron Gillen says:

    Pags: I was about to say something, but you’ve given yourself a good telling off worse than I was going to.

    KG

  27. Pags says:

    Always best to admit defeat before your losses are too great. In this case I’m not sure my ego could’ve survived the attack.

  28. Nick says:

    New A-scale? Don’t be THAT hard on yourself…

  29. Nero says:

    If there’s not a secret Unicorn level in Diablo 3 then I will be upset.

  30. Xercies says:

    They don’t realize they did make a mistake with their graphics…

  31. unclelou says:

    Note to Blizzard: More time spent innovating and less time spent on snarky press-grabbers means you might some day actually make a game worth buying.

    Heh, there’s always one, isn’t there.

  32. Dolphan says:

    But wouldn’t an innovation versus polish debate be, y’know, fun? Fight your corner, Pags! Bring Blizzard down!

  33. Tei says:

    It seems innovation withouth polish is a bad idea (most people with great ideas and not polish are backrupt) and polish withouth innovation just work. So innovation is important (IMHumbleO), but is just a ingredient, the main base sould be polish.

  34. RealHorrorshow says:

    If you want to see attempted innovation without polish, look no further than that clusterfuck STALKER: Clear Sky. After that and some other games, I’m prefer more to be on the safe side…

  35. Quistie says:

    Pags is right that innovation is required and it’s always been my one little whisper against Blizzard cos lets face it they polish everything else to the nth degree and if they are in your genre they are truly amazing games.

    But… I dunno making a silly t-shirt probably didnt take that long :-) Heyyy unless they took 1 year to polish the art design. In fact i bet they KNEW there would be a diablo 3 art backlash 2 years ago and this is part of a merchandising master plan!

  36. The Hammer says:

    They were wearing these to Blizzcon last year, which was cool.

    <3 Blizzard.

  37. Funky Badger says:

    Innovations sucks.

    Eraserhead was innovative.
    Kid A was innovative.
    Allan Stanford’s investment plan was innovative.

    I’d settle for “good quality” every time.

  38. DSX says:

    “If you’re like Blizzard, and your focus is on PR stunts and marketing, you end up with polished crappy games that ultimately lack innovation.”

    Fixed that for you so EA can sit at the table.

  39. James G says:

    Innovation is over-rated!

    More seriously though, I wasn’t entirely joking. While innovation is indeed a good thing, and we need at least some developers focusing on it, it certainly isn’t the be all and end all of development. There is something to be said for the process of refining, distilling and polishing.

    Oddly though, I’ve never really fallen for a Blizzard game. I don’t think this is down to the innovation/polish debate. My favourite games of all time includes a mix of the polished and the innovative (and those which are both).

  40. Azradesh says:

    @Pags
    “Innovation =/= Sales” but innovation =/= a good game. Yes Blizzard don’t innovate much, but they do make very good games, you may not like them, but they are still good.
    But I get the feeling that you’re one of those people that just hates anything popular.

  41. CryingTheAnnualKingo says:

    I agree with Pags’ angry admonitions. If there’s any PC game developer out there with the funds and freedom to make something completely new and amazing, its Blizzard, but they will keep churning out sequel after sequel to appease their smelly legions. New IP time, Blizzard.
    Oh, and I’ll take Eraserhead and Stalker: Clear Sky over Transformers and Call of Duty any fucking day of the week.

  42. Max says:

    It’s almost refreshing to see a developer take a stab at their snobbish fans rather than just ignoring them.

  43. Dan Lawrence says:

    Anyone else currently enjoying a secret superior laugh at the first comment on this post? I feel like such a bastard :)

  44. Funky Badger says:

    What the hell is Eraserhead even about, I mean its got that fella that looks like Bob Mortimer and then there’s a little babby alien and, err, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?

    That’s one and a half hours of my life I’m not getting back. Naff as Transformers was it had giant shapeshifting robots, and Megan Fox. So I think we can see who’s winning here… ;-)

  45. Thirith says:

    I don’t see why I should have to choose between Stalker and Call of Duty. Both do what they do brilliantly.

    Similarly, I appreciate both a perfectly honed evolution of a game/genre and an original, less crowd-pleasing diamond in the rough.

    Blizzard doing its thing (and doing it extremely well) doesn’t take anything away from the Braids or World of Goos.

  46. Meat Circus says:

    PAGS? So weak. I can’t believe you caved in so easily.

    Blizzard haven’t been able to wring a single original new idea out of a workforce of thousands in the best part of a decade.

    That’s a tiny bit odd, when you think about it. By pure chance you’d expect Blizzard to have accidentally hit on a new idea by now, without really meaning to.

    Presumably Blizzard’s notoriously rigid corporatocracy lobotomises their minions into brain dead slushdrones from the outset to ensure any and all such unwarranted outbreaks of innovation can be contained and stamped out before they get anywhere near live code.

  47. Taillefer says:

    I think Pags struck a nerve.

    I’ve never had much interest in Blizzard either. I only own one Blizzard title. They just don’t seem to produce what I’m looking for in my games (although I’m still not entirely sure what that is). But, I hear they make nice t-shirts.

    Also, I don’t think it’s fair to blame bad art design on a man who seems to have no eyes.

  48. Jim Rossignol says:

    Didn’t stop you playing WoW for weeks on end, eh Meat?

  49. Meat Circus says:

    No, and nor should it. Though I haven’t played WoW for a year and a half. And maybe that’s the point.

    Of course I will play Starcraft 2 and Diablo III, and will probably even enjoy them. But *no more than* that.