Game will probably sell 10x more on the consoles anyway.

AT THE SAME TIME, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

That multiplayer looks like fun in theory but I suspect it’ll be guff.

When a game is formed (from pixie-juice and elf tears, mixed and flavoured with love) it is left in an unstable, perilous state. With no natural chrysalis form, video games must be protected by a giant mother-bird, which adopts the quivvering, jelly-like mass of proto-game as its own and sees off predators with a particularly vicious squawk. Now while this giant psychotic avians are common in the Americas (thought previously to be an entirely fictional land until accidental missionary George A Romero turned up in the 1980s with a mouthful of zombie-flavoured videos) they do not occur naturally in Europe, and only rarely in the atlantic ocean.

The upshot of this is that fragile fleshy lumps of videogames have to be transported very carefully across the sea, in special Biohaven Frigates constructed for that very purpose. Sadly, the bioluminescent glow from these megatankers commonly attracts unwanted attention, not only from 18th century pirates but also mutant narwals, which try to scupper the vessels with their radioactive horns.

When they finally arrive in port at Olde London Towne, the games are transferred into complex incumbator devices. These facilities recieve only intermittent power from the National Grid due to Credits Crunching all over the fragile rooftops of the city. While the trembling proto-games enter their final stage of development mercenary guards are used to defend them against this final threat, in a tense battle to the death, and indeed, beyond death into a shadowy afterworld, where their immortal souls continue to act as guardians of the games’ spirit forms.

Eventually the new, British-y games are born anew and can go to store shelves. At this point the process is repeated for the rest of the continent.

And that’s why we have to wait an extra fortnight. The end.

Oh, stop cribbing. This game will likely reach stores here (in India) by the April 7th- of 2010. If, that is, it does at all. Most people in the world have it rougher than the US or Europe when it comes to games.

You’ve, er, got something in your mouth there, Teo….oh, I’m sorry, Gabe, I didn’t see you there! Uuh…er, carry on, ah, gents.

I used to own an Atari ST in my youth. Seeing how badly this new Atari does ANYTHING makes me cry real man-tears. Bad release date! BAD!