By Alec Meer on February 26th, 2009 at 9:52 am.
If you’re one of those who becomes outraged by our occasional (alright, regular) self-indulgence/celebration on RPS, you should wander away now and pretend this story isn’t here. What story? Exactly.
I’ve just received a very large box in the post. What could it be? An unsubtle letter bomb from angry Alice fans? The optimism I lost somewhere aged about 6? Oh, that’s right – it’s my birthday today. This is probably some kind of ‘gift’, which is what I believe you human creatures share on such occasions. The box originated from my father and his missus, which led me to guess it’d contain either some sort of adorably retro toy or some manner of practical joke that’d spray me with cold tea or something. I opened it with some trepidation, and inside I discovered…
The world’s first and only Rock, Paper, Shotgun cushion! When we are elected the New Gods, this one-of-a-kind head-comforter will be a collector’s item worth billions. I absolutely guarantee it.
No, you can’t have it. What you can have is an official RPS t-shirt that bears the same logo (and from which I presume my parents cribbed for ultro-cushion). The t-shirts are this: super-fashion! Englishers, we are looking into a way to make the postage a bit easier on our fellow countrymen – watch this space.
26/02/2009 at 10:01 Tei says:
Pretty good taste, you really are a lucky lucky guy. Anyway you already lost it. Is owned now by that cat.
26/02/2009 at 10:02 LactoseTheIntolerant says:
Happy Birthday, my good man.
26/02/2009 at 10:04 Ian says:
Happy Birthday Mr Meer.
If you complete all your birthday tasks you shall get cake.
26/02/2009 at 10:06 rei says:
That’s very stylish. More importantly, I request a cat tag for all the stories where it’s appropriate. It’s almost impossible to meet my cat picture quota on this site, the way things are.
(p.s. happy birthday)
26/02/2009 at 10:09 Gap Gen says:
An RPS cushion and a King’s Bounty kitty. Aren’t you lucky?
26/02/2009 at 10:11 Bobsy says:
What a shame cushions are inherently vile and useless creations. That one’s nice though.
26/02/2009 at 10:15 Tworak says:
a year closer to death.
you’ve got a really photogenic pussy I must say.
26/02/2009 at 10:17 Matt Kemp says:
Gap Gen: Kings Bounty comes with a cat? I actually wouldn’t put it past it. How does it fit in the amazon cardboard envelope?
In other news: Happy birthday.
26/02/2009 at 10:33 Fede says:
Awesome present indeed :)
Happy Birthday!
26/02/2009 at 10:36 matte_k says:
Happy Birthday Mr Meer. Any cake for us RPS-er’s?
26/02/2009 at 10:38 phil says:
Small point; you don’t get elected to the New Gods, you generally only become one if you appear in Jack Kirby’s imagination as he’s struggles to appeal to hippy culture.
Also; Happy Birthday
26/02/2009 at 10:42 Thingus says:
Is this cat the same counter-FEAR publicity one recently deployed in London? It deserves a rest for all the hard work.
And happy birthday (obligatory cake reference) :)
26/02/2009 at 10:42 Kirrus says:
@matte_k surely you’ve worked out by now that the cake is a lie? ;)
Happy birthday :)
26/02/2009 at 10:43 ...hmm... says:
merry berthday
26/02/2009 at 10:43 Nick says:
Happy Birthday, Alec.
26/02/2009 at 10:50 Fashigady says:
Happy Birthday!
26/02/2009 at 10:52 Larington says:
Happy Birthday!
26/02/2009 at 10:52 Theoban says:
I foresee RPS pillows, RPS soap, RPS bathtowels, RPS rocks, RPS watermarked paper, RPS shotguns, RPS flower baskets, RPS dog collars, RPS charcoal, RPS estate agents, RPS batteries….
You guys could really cash in on this!
26/02/2009 at 10:54 ChaosSmurf says:
I might buy one of those T-shirts and just rap it round a pillow. And the use some pins. It’ll be cool.
Anyway … yeah, happy birthday.
@Theoban: you’re saying you want to rub yourself down with RPS soap. Is that what you’re saying?
26/02/2009 at 10:57 Man Raised By Puffins says:
Happy Angry Internet Birthday Alec!
26/02/2009 at 11:04 DBeaver says:
Happy Birthday, cat!
26/02/2009 at 11:07 Monkfish says:
Happy cushion day, Alec.
26/02/2009 at 11:08 Colthor says:
Happy Birthday, Alec!
26/02/2009 at 11:09 Biggles says:
Stealth “it’s my birthday” post : )
Happy Birthday, Internet Alec!
26/02/2009 at 11:10 Theoban says:
@ChaosSmurf I’d get lathered up with a bit of RPS in my hand
Oh god I made myself feel sick oh god oh god the vomit’s going everywhere
26/02/2009 at 11:15 phuzz says:
There shall be cake!
26/02/2009 at 11:19 Ben Abraham says:
Oh Joy, Oh Happy Day this day of birth! Congratulations on your continued survival Mr Meer. May you last long enough to contribute to the gene pool and the evolution of our species.
26/02/2009 at 11:26 Heliocentric says:
Why is it that dog collars on girls are awesome, but when guys wear them they look like they are trying to look stupid. Guess its true for lots of things.
I’d wear an rps watch if it told me how angry the internet was at any given moment.
Hell, i’d love to have a rps hardback book that i can place on a bookshelf and pass to visitors when they ask me what i do.
The book would contain nothing but threads on piracy.
26/02/2009 at 11:28 yhancik says:
Ah, Happy Meerday !
26/02/2009 at 11:30 Owen says:
happy birthday Mr Mear
>> a year closer to death.
Lovely :)
26/02/2009 at 11:36 Ian says:
@ Heliocentric: An AIM-O-Meter (-O-Tron)?
@ Owen: You could at least have done the decent thing and spelled his name correctly. ;-)
26/02/2009 at 11:38 Subject 706 says:
Happy birthday Mr Meer. A year closer to your pension! May it make you filthy rich!
26/02/2009 at 11:40 Davee says:
Happy Birthday Mr. Meer! Too bad your King’s Bounty-cat seized the pillow – better eat the cake before he/she does.
26/02/2009 at 11:49 The_B says:
I’m waiting for the officially branded RPS Rocks, headed paper and Shotguns (as used against Angry Internet Men).
Happy birthday Alec, may your birthday bring more joy than a biscuit filled with awesome!
26/02/2009 at 11:54 teo says:
cute cat
26/02/2009 at 11:56 sfury says:
The Cushon is a Lie!
btw, Happy Birthday. :)
26/02/2009 at 12:04 James G says:
Happy Birthday, may the year ahead bring you many more cushions, until your home is so full of them that you have to crawl between them to get anywhere.
26/02/2009 at 12:13 mcw says:
Happy Birthday !
26/02/2009 at 12:18 Dan Harris says:
Joyeux anniversaire, et salut a ton belle chat!
26/02/2009 at 12:23 itsallcrap says:
Were this a less splendid website, I would be forced to suggest a caption for that picture beginning with, “I can haz”.
Let us be grateful that this is not the case.
Many happy returns and all that.
Also, where does the phrase, “happy returns” originate? Man, I need to learn to focus.
26/02/2009 at 12:26 The Sombrero Kid says:
ahem by englishers i assume you mean brittishers i stand thoroughly offended! happy birthday!
26/02/2009 at 12:29 Catastrophe says:
Carry on my wayward son
There’ll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more
26/02/2009 at 12:37 Reggie says:
Tanjoubi omedetou, Alec! That means, “Happy flimsy pretext to show off my beginner’s grasp of Japanese day”.
Seriously, hope you’re having a good birthday!
26/02/2009 at 12:37 Yegwa says:
Happy birthday Mr. Meer!
26/02/2009 at 12:42 dartt says:
Happy Birthday! Not long now!
26/02/2009 at 12:47 Alec Meer says:
You are all very kind. Ripley T. Cat says hi. Well, more like”brrrrrowwwp”, but y’know.
26/02/2009 at 12:49 Heliocentric says:
Your cat just burped at you Mr Meer. It was a happy birthday burp.
26/02/2009 at 12:54 Hmm-Hmm. says:
A glorious and happy birthday I wish unto you, Mr. Meer.
Also, that’s one very nice-lookin’ cushion.
26/02/2009 at 13:09 Redd says:
WAHA! Have some of my raisins dear sir.
26/02/2009 at 13:42 tba says:
Today is your birthday!?!
ME TOO!
Happy Birthday Man!
26/02/2009 at 13:48 Markoff Chaney says:
Happy Birthday! Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!
26/02/2009 at 14:21 Ian says:
So as well as it being your birthday where you shall get presents and cake (lie!) and celebrating in the giant golden mansion/space robot you purchased with your ill-gotten games-reviewing fortune, you now have a burping cat?
Some guys get all the luck.
26/02/2009 at 14:31 Satsuz says:
Hippo Birdies, Alec. I suggest you construct a celebratory pillow-fort, with this mighty cushion put in a place of honor.
26/02/2009 at 14:43 Rei Onryou says:
I’m currently awaiting the RPS Hivemind Plushies. Each comes with 5 different catchphrases that are activated by strangling them.
Happy Birthday Mr. Meer! Does Ripley T. Cat happen to be wherever you want to take photos, or do you staple him/her to whatever surface is in focus?
26/02/2009 at 14:49 Overwatch_UA says:
Congrats!
26/02/2009 at 15:24 Chopperdave says:
hip hip hip hooray, hip hip hip hooray, hip hip hip hooray,
Happy birphday
tanks for you obsessive gamer updated which quantify my hour checking of your site…
did someone say TANK.. ahhh who has a moltov!!??!?!
26/02/2009 at 15:27 James Tao says:
Have a good one, Mr. Meer.
26/02/2009 at 15:35 Tei says:
I still think a T-Shirt for the cat would have been more fun.
26/02/2009 at 15:37 realmenhuntinpacks says:
appy birfday you SLAAAAAAAAG
26/02/2009 at 15:41 nickski says:
so THAT’S a Meercat?!!
i did wonder
H.P.B.D
26/02/2009 at 15:49 catska says:
At least someone is making money off PC gaming.
26/02/2009 at 17:09 Little Green Man says:
Happy Birthday you fine gentleman you! I’m personally jealous of your cushoin of WIN. +1 INTERNET to the RPS Overlords!!!!!!!
26/02/2009 at 18:20 clovus says:
I think that what I actually like about the site.
“Lay down your weary head” seems like it could come from anywhere, but you meant Dylan, right?
Happy Birthday and all…
26/02/2009 at 18:36 Ratty says:
Happy Beer Day Alec :)
26/02/2009 at 18:41 Him says:
It’s your birthday? And a merry internet to you to! Of the four RPS Overlords, you are clearly the birthday-est of all four.
26/02/2009 at 23:12 Monchberter says:
I have the esteemed status that that cat has only ever chosen to sit on me aside from Mr Meer. I feel quite privileged. Although it might have something to do with Alec playing Gear of War 2 at the time and the cat simply staging a protest.
;)
27/02/2009 at 00:14 Dorian Cornelius Jasper says:
Happy Birthday! It’s still Feb 26th in the USA as of this comment. Therefore your birthday goes on even when you’ve moved on, Mr. Meer.
27/02/2009 at 05:09 Krupo says:
Happy birthday from the future/past um thing.
27/02/2009 at 06:47 Rich_P says:
That pillow’s a spy!
27/02/2009 at 13:16 Dave Green says:
Happy birthday!
Now, just need a UK supplier of that t-shirt and I’ll order! xD