Die Sim Awards 2009

By Tim Stone on March 8th, 2009 at 1:58 pm.

The badly-mauled Mughals got some respite on Friday when I popped over to Dusselfurt to attend the Third German Sim Awards. Held in a disused schnapps distillery and hosted by eighties balloon squanderer Nena the event proved just as predictable as last year. Of the 709 awards only three went to dark horses…

 

Against the odds, the statuette for Most Self-Controlled Developer was nabbed by the people behind troglodytic train sim World of Subways Vol 2. The committee felt they’d shown admirable restraint in not filling their beautiful Berlin tunnels with irradiated rats, undead commuters, or cryogenically frozen SS sturmtruppen (despite obviously wanting to):

 

 

The announcement that Gabelstapler Simulator 2009 rather than DCS: Black Shark, had won in the Most Realistic Vehicle category, almost started a riot.

 

 

Visual Imagination Software’s recreation of the Still RX 60 forklift  is decent enough, but is it really better than Eagle Dynamics’ breathtaking Ka-50? Judge for yourself by downloading the German language demo, or save yourself the bother by reading the following word: no.

 

 

The last surprise of the evening came when local favourite Bagger Simulator lost out to an unknown Swedish title in the hotly contested Simulations of Diggy Things category. Bread rolls and beer bottles were hurled, but having played the Tenstar Simulator trial (which requires a gamepad) I can see where the judges were coming from.

 

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37 Comments »

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  1. rob says:

    Tim Stone channelling early RPS era John Walker. Wonderful.

  2. Okami says:

    I’m appalled by the apparent lack of homeless people trying to sell you lighters and newspapers, playing incredibly bad music or droning on about how they really hate to do this, but they’re homeless and have nothing to eat and no place to stay and if anybody would be so kind as to give them a little money, something to eat or maybe even a place to stay. There are also no hordes of drunken british or spanish people, no foul smelling punks and no party goers going or coming from some kind of afer- pre- or whatever hour.

    In short: Worst simulation of Berlin subways evar!

  3. Gladman says:

    Can you take upskirt photos on the tube simulator?

  4. Smurfy says:

    OMG It’s just what I’ve always wanted!

  5. kyrieee says:

    Eh, wtf?
    Simulation wise DCS:BS was the best game last year even though the lack of a dynamic campaign sucks

  6. Arnulf says:

    O_O

    I use these trains every day… and I don’t know about this SIM!

    It’s eerie enough without graffiti and carvings on the windows. I couldn ‘t quite recognize the train stations. I think the one with the white columns was Berliner Straße.

    Wow.

  7. Premium User Badge

    Sagan says:

    I really want an explanation why people make this stuff. Get an interview or something with these guys.

    Especially the World of Subways thing has got to be a very elaborate joke. It boggles the mind why anyone would want to play a train simulator that is completely underground. The description on the website says “The U7 is the longest subway in Berlin […]. It runs completely underground, crosses 5 districts and goes under the rivers Spree and Havel, as well as the Teltow- and Westhafencanal.”
    They have to be joking, right? Why does the path of the route matter, if it is completely underground anyway? And what will the game be like? Will they tell you “Now you are under the district Berlin-Mitte. You could see all the famous sights if you weren’t underground.”
    Seriously. Who comes up with this stuff?

    Oh btw they did actually win an award (Serious Games Award 2009) this weekend.

  8. Stuk says:

    World of Subways Vol 2 looks surprisingly pretty. However I would only play it if I was assured that running two trains directly at one another was possible, and that the resulting explosions were suitably shiny enough.

    I also wonder what MI5 will make of this message…

  9. phuzz says:

    The thing that freaked me out about the subway sim was the people.
    Why don’t they get on the train? They just stand there looking at it with their empty eyes, but never moving, why don’t they get on?
    OMG THE EYES!

  10. chrisis says:

    It’s actually DIE Sim Awards. While award, despite being an English word, is used in it’s masculine form, hence “der” as long as it’s singular, in this case it’s plural, and plural is always “die”, it doesn’t matter which gender.
    I know, German is a weird language.

  11. Mike says:

    There’s probably an evert button in World Of Subways. It’s the only explanation.

  12. Xercies says:

    How could the bagger Simulator lose!

  13. Mr Gein says:

    Well, that subway simulator looks mighty pleasant.

  14. Chaz says:

    Are these things designed to be games, or are they meant to be used as training applications in their respective industries?

  15. Dave says:

    The music in the subway simulator trailer really had me expecting zombies. Or at least headcrabs and CPs.

  16. Jochen Scheisse says:

    The 1935 build of World of Subways Vol 2 has cryogenically frozen radiated SS Zombies, but the publisher opted for passengers instead.

  17. JohnArr says:

    Someone needs to mod in a Resonance Cascade Faliure halfway through World of Subways.

  18. Valentin Galea says:

    That subway video reminded me of the subway part of Silent Hill 4…

  19. parm says:

    I know someone who’s bought that subway simulator. He also has a photo album on Flickr of every station on the Circle Line from a trip he went on a month or two back with a bunch of other total, total nerds. What I’m trying to say is that there is a small but totally dedicated bunch of people who will pay for this stuff, but that you probably wouldn’t want to talk to at a party.

  20. Mark Stephenson says:

    God Bless the good ship RPS and all who sail in her.

    This comment thread has made me chuckle and remember that there are others out there like me.

  21. Skurmedel says:

    I do think these things are more for training than pleasure though. Or maybe it is for the few workaholic forklift drivers who after a whole day of forklifting thinks “yay! finally I can go home and lift som virtual pallets.”

    It would be cool with a hazmat level; can you move the stolen Russian nuke from the train to the bomb squad in time?

  22. Saul says:

    Is it April 1st already?

  23. Axeman89 says:

    Well, to be fair, the subway simulator does have above-ground portions, but look at the other games made by the maker of Bagger Simulator and Gabelstapler. There’s even a garbage truck simulator!

  24. 357SIG says:

    Next up : Simulation Simulator

  25. Hanzii says:

    Why the hell did they score and film the trailer like it was a horror game? With that stupid flashlight and that music you expect a zombie to jump out any moment.

  26. Kommissar Nicko says:

    Oh god, I can’t believe it hasn’t been brought up. My apologies to our German comrades, who will no doubt have a peculiar (more Teutonic) insight into this video, but it’s absolutely necessary that any conversation involving Germany and forklifts include

    Trust me, if you speak English, you won’t really feel the humor unless you’re a little patient. But it’s worth it. And if anything, it will make up for the fact that forklift simulators are boring.

  27. Kommissar Nicko says:

    HTML accident simulator.

  28. Irish Al says:

    I am an owner of Euro Truck Simulator.

    Thrill! As you pick up some logs from an industrial estate in Spain!

    Gasp! As you rumble down the motorway for 2 hours, debating whether to stop and refuel!

    Swear! As you realise that you can’t actually do anything interesting like jump the truck off a bridge into 3 lanes of motorway traffic!

  29. Premium User Badge

    MacBeth says:

    Hmm, the On A Rail chapter from Black Mesa is looking a bit disappointing…

  30. Pani says:

    @Kommissar Nicko
    That my friend was genius! I especially like the youtube comment by JohnDoe1989125: “OMG Klaus sucks !!”

    But like the above posters, I am curious why so many developers make these sort of games, give us interviewz!

  31. Kommissar Nicko says:

    Glad to be of service.

    I would like to chime in and say that an interview with a developer would be very interesting and enlightening. If anything, I anticipate a theme reminiscent of that one piece Tim did an eon (aeon?) ago (looks like it was posted last year, in April) about making a faithful replication of the transatlantic crossing in a sim.

    Oh, and another try at HTML, to atone for my prior sin.

  32. Kommissar Nicko says:

    Hmm. Note to RPS: Either I’m retarded, or the little “You can use these tags – a href=”” title=”” ” is wrong. Maybe both?

  33. ulix says:

    Where has my post gone? (it was 2 actually)

    I was promoting the many facets of German simulation games… why was it erased?

  34. Okami says:

    @Nicko: the title=”” parameter declares what mouse over text will be displayed if you hover the cursor over the link. In order to create a piece of text that acts as a link, you need to do the following: Start with a href=”yourlinkhere” title=”” then write the text you want to act as a link and then close the whole thing with /a.

    You don’t need to use the title=”” parameter, if you don’t want any mouse over text displayed. Hope that helped.

  35. Psychopomp says:

    “There’s probably an evert button in World Of Subways. It’s the only explanation.”

    I HATE THOSE CREEPY FUCKING HANDS.

    PS.WHAT HAVE I DONE?

  36. Darth_Mueller says:

    you mean duesseldorf?

  37. Jochen Scheisse says:

    Dusselfurt. It’s between and , somewhere near .