Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Shameless Abuse of RPS Power: My Brute

By Kieron Gillen on April 8th, 2009 at 7:24 pm.

My Brute has been nagging at the corners of my consciousness for a while now, but it was Simon Parkin who finally made me play. It’s basically a perversely compulsive cross between Progress Quest and a Pyramid Scheme. You create your brute and then challenge people to fights, going up levels. You also gain XP by getting other people to join, which brings the Pyramid scheme into play. Simon noted that it seemed to be yet more proof that my old line about gaming’s dark secret being that occasionally just seeing a number going up being enough. Worryingly true. Its hyper-cute art style’s another boon. It’s easier to see than actually explain, so go play. You’ll totally beat my Violent Trevor. Despite being level 5, she hasn’t got a weapon yet. Pah.

Yes, this an experiment to see how many pupils posting a link to my brute on a biggish PC games site can get me. And because this has made me hit level 10, you can join the RPS clan! (EDIT: CLAN FILLED! SOMEONE ELSE START ONE) Clearly, post your brute’s name in the comment thread so everyone can fight everyone else.

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206 Comments »

  1. The Hammer says:

    Yeah. Violent Trevor, which is apparently a girl, just beat Gremkarc. BUMMER

    report

  2. Nutkins Victory Otter says:

    The incentive to join diminishes with every passing second and yet people still sign up in droves. I’m scared.

    report

  3. http://evil-evo.mybrute.com/

    I was nicely beaten twice by Violent Trevor!

    report

  4. Erlam says:

    http://erlam.mybrute.com

    I lose a lot, and got some weird ability that gives me full agility. It’s almost entirely useless, as I rarely if ever actually avoid an attack.

    report

  5. Erlam: That’s what I’ve got, and has lead me to be beaten up by everyone. But I’ve just got a knife, which I’m doing some insane 4-attack blow thing, so I think it’s helpful there. I think it’ll turn useful eventually.

    KG

    report

  6. pootank says:

    http://pootank.mybrute.com

    Lost 4 of my 6 but got to lvl 2 !

    report

  7. Talisker says:

    If we cross-pupil each other, we can all level up!

    http://talisker-18.mybrute.com

    report

  8. kenmcfa says:

    http://silvaparam.mybrute.com/ !
    I’ve only just signed up
    /me expects several beatings before I’ve figured the game out.

    report

  9. Cradicus says:

    http://cradicus.mybrute.com/

    I got the Thief ability, it’s awesome!

    report

  10. Biff says:

    http://biffy-biff.mybrute.com

    I have a shield that never saves me!

    report

  11. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Portillo’s Teeth seems to be reasonably competent so far, although some of the opposition are blatantly filthy cheats.

    report

  12. InVinoVeritas says:

    http://invinoveritas.mybrute.com

    I’ve got that lame shield too… Kieron stomped me pretty bad.

    report

  13. Stew says:

    http://bewildered-colin.mybrute.com/ got thumped by Violent Trevor

    report

  14. Theoban says:

    http://theoban.mybrute.com

    In a stunning display of naming creativity there

    report

  15. Azradesh says:

    http://naqam.mybrute.com/

    This is fun :D

    report

  16. Wrault says:

    http://mechakid.mybrute.com Fun indeed! One of those weapons would be nice, though. Or a dog to help me fight. Extra strength seems rather boring.

    report

  17. Nero says:

    Sure I guess
    http://xirius.mybrute.com/
    fear my hairy beast, who got beaten to death by Violent Trevor with a chicken leg.. (or something).

    report

  18. CG says:

    http://lanugo.mybrute.com

    Test your might against the fuzzy, downy bodily hair that is Lanugo!

    report

  19. Sarble says:

    http://toxic-shock.mybrute.com
    I need some sort of a thing I guess

    report

  20. Sarble says:

    Oooh I have a dog. Woof.

    report

  21. Rabbitsoup says:

    suggest we move the train my brute to the forum? anyone else have the club? it hands out major pain.

    a and http://rabbitsoup.mybrute.com

    report

  22. Benga says:

    http://brutal-benga.mybrute.com
    *grits teeth in expectation of beatings*

    report

  23. Sarble says:

    ViolentTrevor truly is a great sensei: http://violenttrevor.mybrute.com/dojo

    report

  24. CG says:

    So you don’t get xp for surviving fights initiated by others? Thus: a max amount of xp per day corresponding to your number of fights and pupils? Too bad… passive advancement is one of the great pleasures of the RPG style.

    report

  25. Mmmmmmhm says:

    http://mmmmmmmhm.mybrute.com

    Getting stabbed and then clubbed doesn’t seem fair if all I do is drink at people

    report

  26. Tei says:

    @Mmmmmmhm: hhahahaha… sorry.

    report

  27. http://bigfoot-king.mybrute.com my guy has a trumpet and strangely has never lost a fight without it

    report

  28. Markoff Chaney says:

    Well, 2 out of 6 ain’t bad, right? Erlam and Portillo’s Teeth were no match for MarkoffChaney‘s Speed(and, to a lesser extent, Agility and Strength)!

    Continuing on this thought, I figured I would succumb to my alt-itis and I created Mortala to give it another go. She was endowed by her creators with a natural speed of 10 and a skill called “Bolt of Lightning”. Surely, I thought, she will move so fast that none shall touch her and that my hitting faster than my shadow and biting faster than my enemy would afford me with a greater degree of success. Unfortunately I lost 5 of 6 battles with Mortala. Mortala was, at least, able to kill MarkoffChaney.

    My favorite battle had to be this one in which Erlam exacts his revenge flawlessly. I actually did laugh out loud. :) I think I finally figured out that my speed attribute must be related to how quickly I die as opposed to any type of fast attack prowess it might bestow upon my avatar.

    report

  29. duel says:

    Ahem, http://dagger-mouse.mybrute.com

    id like to see where this is going, apart from a waste of my time. but this looks like exactly what i need to procrastinate…

    report

  30. Myrth says:

    http://son-of-myrth.mybrute.com/cellule

    Five victories! Booya! Sadly, ViolentTrevor brought the smack down. Thankfully I now have a nice shiny spear, so I will be back to teach her a valuable lesson. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!

    report

  31. CanadianT says:

    Any one else not got any sound?

    report

  32. Sagan says:

    http://sagan1338.mybrute.com/

    You’re level 10 now, so go and make that clan.

    edit: Alright I joined your clan.

    report

  33. Tei says:

    “But if I hit level 10, I’ll make a clan for everyone.”

    You are already level 10.

    report

  34. duel says:

    Ahem, http://dagger-mouse.mybrute.com

    this looks like the perfect thing to help my procrastination…

    report

  35. TelefonHonda says:

    http://fuckyouman666.mybrute.com

    Bestest brute there is, for sure.

    report

  36. Darkflight says:

    http://darkflight.mybrute.com/ – I need to steal my friend’s stupidly overpowered hammer

    report

  37. If anyone wants to join the clan, you can do so here.

    KG

    report

  38. KaunMoth says:

    http://kaunmoth.mybrute.com/

    I just keep getting me arse kicked :<

    report

  39. Garu says:

    http://friendgaru.mybrute.com/

    Nearly defeated ViolentTrevor… next time, Gadget!

    report

  40. InVinoVeritas says:

    Is it just me or does clicking on the “join the clan” link require a password that I do not have?

    report

  41. Jrp11 says:

    This is destroying work productivity, haha.

    report

  42. Sarble says:

    @InVinoVeritas Yes – I think that’s ViolentTrevor’s team details, to join I went to the join a clan page in my cell and found clan RPSYFIGHTERS!

    report

  43. Mintsauce says:

    http://mintsauce.mybrute.com

    my FU is week, great find!

    report

  44. tonypiz says:

    http://stacippa.mybrute.com

    Wow, that axe is pretty mean. I won against a lvl 8 brute.

    report

  45. ...hmm... says:

    :O out of curiosity, in the character generator thing i began to type in different gender specific organs and body parts. To my surprise, the ‘brute’ generated matched exactly to the presumed gender of the genitalia etc. Worrying. Does this only happen for me?

    report

  46. rei says:

    http://scheol.mybrute.com

    My first fight, and I beat Trevor! I’m a natural.

    The clan is full, by the way :(

    report

  47. InVinoVeritas says:

    Got it, thanks Sarble.

    report

  48. Feet says:

    http://barry-feet.mybrute.com

    Awesome, I had full speed at level 1 baby. I’M JACKIE CHAN!

    report

  49. Noerartnoe says:

    report

  50. Noerartnoe says:

    meh… that worked well…
    http://noerart.mybrute.com

    report

  51. CanadianT says:

    Clan is full now :(

    report

  52. the probe says:

    http://yeah-dirk.mybrute.com

    What I am now dubbing “the Testicles of Death” proved to be my downfall many, many times.

    report

  53. Jason says:

    you can join the RPS clan!

    Why bother when you can be part of the 120th ranked clan, Plane Tickets Bitch
    Also, my trident weighs a ton.
    http://baby-arm.mybrute.com/

    report

  54. grinnock says:

    This game is kind of stupid in it’s amazing-ness.

    http://grinnock.mybrute.com/

    I like their other game, Alphabounce more.

    report

  55. SykesJester says:

    http://catcher.mybrute.com

    She’s getting pretty good…still need a lot of lvls tho

    report

  56. Satsuz says:

    http://grizzlyfuzz.mybrute.com
    This is more fun than it has the right to be, really.

    report

  57. Vagrant says:

    http://vaguegrant.mybrute.com/

    Won them all so far.

    report

  58. 18Rabbit says:

    http://18rabbit.mybrute.com

    The RPS clan is full already. :sadface:

    report

  59. clinicallyinane says:

    A peril most yellow!

    http://yellow-peril.mybrute.com

    I blame the Fu Manchu, you can’t possibly NOT be racist with *that* popping up.

    report

  60. Drakkheim says:

    Angsty Punctuation seems to get pummeled pretty regularly.

    report

  61. Azradesh says:

    Yay! Level 4!

    This really shouldn’t be fun.

    report

  62. Svengali says:

    http://ezpickins.mybrute.com

    Aww, clan’s full already.

    report

  63. Aphotique says:

    Seriously, why are there no fat brutes? *cries*

    ViolentTrevor with a hammer is serious business…

    http://aphotique.mybrute.com

    report

  64. Satsuz says:

    ViolentTrevor is gonna climb ranks quickly from now on, huh? Already up 3 levels since I first checked…

    report

  65. Lim-Dul says:

    Not if everybody helps me level my character with the *mysterious* name that can’t be tracked back to me at all:

    Lim_Dul
    http://limdul.mybrute.com/

    ;-)

    report

  66. fartdoorknocker says:

    http://fartdoorknocker.mybrute.com if you want an easy battle

    report

  67. Aphotique says:

    Seriously, 274 pupils, your dojo is HUGE! XD

    report

  68. rei says:

    I saw someone with over 7000 pupils, so I guess it’s all relative!

    I have one, and that’s also me ;(

    report

  69. Gnarl says:

    http://the-gnarl.mybrute.com
    And surely some one should start a different clan in the name of one of the other sute-running gents. To see which one is best.

    Someone other than me should do this, as I will probably forget about this game tomorrow.

    report

  70. Nessa says:

    Give Mirala a go

    http://mirala.mybrute.com

    (I think im ready to take on Violent Trevor myself) <3

    report

  71. Valarauka says:

    lmao. Bad doggie! gojirblaster, that was just unfair :p
    http://valarauka.mybrute.com/fight/12658177

    otoh, I got a bitchin’ mace that let me win most of my other fights…

    report

  72. Shalashaska says:

    http://ryablo.mybrute.com/cellule

    Won all my fights except with Violent Trevor. I’m a battle master.

    report

  73. Arathain says:

    http://arathain.mybrute.com

    Of course. You’ll never take me! (except when you do)

    report

  74. SteveHatesYou says:

    http://disgruntled-hobo.mybrute.com

    He may not be strong, but he’s a fast little bastard.

    report

  75. Arathain says:

    I don’t think it likes me. I lost every one of my fights. When I levelled, my hit points went down. Everyone has better stats and kit than I do.

    report

  76. Mishap says:

    Man, the people with pets are evil…

    report

  77. That Guy says:

    I have a pet…
    It does all of nothing.

    http://halona.mybrute.com/

    report

  78. Ultimate Brute says:

    http://arturiapendragon.mybrute.com/

    thought id stick it here :P

    report

  79. http://fragilebum.mybrute.com

    I killed That Guy’s dog, I’m such a bastard.

    report

  80. Sarble says:

    Toxic Shock have axe now, Toxic Shock not know how it work.

    Clan RPSYFIGHTERS! are now ranked 240… w00t?

    report

  81. All your dojo are belong to me, Gillen. Just you remember that.

    report

  82. Bob Hope says:

    http://baronterror.mybrute.com/

    You will know me by the trail of dead.

    report

  83. I was your first pupil Kieron, remember that…!

    http://griddleoctopus.mybrute.com

    report

  84. Pidesco says:

    I’ve been playing this for a couple of days, now.

    http://pidesco.mybrute.com

    report

  85. Tamps says:

    http://jellybabyofdeath.mybrute.com

    Damn you! Damn you all! There goes my working day.

    report

  86. Little Green Man says:

    http://little-green-man.mybrute.com
    NOOOO I’m LOOOOOOOOSSSSSSIIINNNNG!!!!!!
    Plz hlps ty kk bb
    =]

    report

  87. manwe says:

    http://dodgybobmcmayday.mybrute.com

    I am the most violent travel agent on mybrute, Fight me if you dare!

    report

  88. James says:

    Poor http://humongor.mybrute.com , he has no dog / bear / creature.

    report

  89. moromete says:

    http://moromete.mybrute.com

    High agility doesn’t help…

    report

  90. Ian says:

    http://angry-ian-man.mybrute.com

    Level 2, and I have a KNIFE!

    Only one win, though. :(

    Also: While it’s sensible to stop grindaholics winning, I wish I could play more matces per day. :(

    report

  91. Warden says:

    http://many-as-one.mybrute.com

    Woo I’ve an axe- doesn’t seem to help much though!

    report

  92. Songbearer says:

    Whyyyy do none of them wear shoes :(

    report

  93. Sagan says:

    Sarble you are way imba. My character was only attacking your dog while you kept on hitting me with that imbalanced ax.

    report

  94. Pani says:

    Wow, this is far more fun than it should be…

    http://paniwan.mybrute.com

    report

  95. Dan Harris says:

    http://catharsisman.mybrute.com

    Bow in fear before my dropping moustache, and Feline Agility!

    report

  96. Dan Harris says:

    Sigh. Drooping, clearly.

    report

  97. Kyr says:

    http://apostlekyr.mybrute.com
    Level 2, and already have a knife AND a sword. Fight me, dammit!

    report

  98. Sarble says:

    Sagan – don’t worry I’m sure they’ll nerf the axedog soon ;)

    report

  99. Lokijki says:

    http://lokijki.mybrute.com

    My brute is all of the yes.

    report

  100. Lewis says:

    http://rorty.mybrute.com

    because derrida and nietzsche were already taken.

    report

  101. CP says:

    My brute has a knife, which is great, but then he decides to throw it away…

    http://commodore-perry.mybrute.com

    report

  102. Arathain says:

    Hah! Someone attacked me last night, and apparently I beat him up while he was trying to knife my dog.

    report

  103. Standa says:


    Is the distribution of all the abilities, skills, items and pets only about luck, or is it possible to affect it somehow?
    P.S. you can also give me few pupils ;)

    report

  104. Ziv says:

    zivpeleg.mybrute.com

    report

  105. Stinky Pink says:

    I got lucky, my character is awesome! She won all 6 matches and leveled up to level 3 in one setting, I dont think anyone knocked her below half her life!

    http://pinky-stink.mybrute.com/cellule

    report

  106. notarobot says:

    needsahug.mybrute.com

    i need no weapon!
    (not actually true)

    report

  107. FhnuZoag says:

    In as http://slicer99.mybrute.com/

    Do they add a bunch of easy fake players to fight against, or something? My character seems near invincible against characters of the same level. (Shurikens seem to be almost like machine guns)

    report

  108. LOipop says:

    My character just beat violent trevor despite being lv 4.
    Myself got stunned!

    http://fetcher-d.mybrute.com/

    report

  109. augustus says:

    report

  110. Mike says:

    http://rawrdar.mybrute.com/cellule

    i just started today, this thing is addicting

    report

  111. notarobot says:

    sorry for the doublepost, i am not that smart.

    http://needsahug.mybrute.com

    needs a fight! and a pupil! please come beat me into a fine paste…

    report

  112. Feline agility says:

    http://clneo.mybrute.com

    Challenge me to a fight!

    report

  113. ZyloOk says:

    im still looking for a bear (15 brutes and no bear :P, this game is addicting lol)…
    here are my brutes:
    http://sssiliths.mybrute.com
    http://buuzz.mybrute.com
    looking for fights and pupils…

    report

  114. noog says:

    http://noogl.mybrute.com

    The little pet dog type thing seems to kill everyone before I get chance to hit :S

    report

  115. Ian says:

    This game is mostly random and I STILL suck. :(

    report

  116. Muzman says:

    http://transgressor.mybrute.com

    My doggie rocks the house. Fear the Egg/Cream/Beige/Off White-fro as well.
    (only 6 fights a day? I assume you have fights when you aren’t logged in and stuff right?)

    report

  117. Shakey Lo says:

    http://shakey-lo.mybrute.com/

    lost all my fights so far. easy pickings!

    report

  118. benjamin says:

    Visit the mybrute website,challenge my characters http://doji7.mybrute.com http://chileung.mybrute.com

    report

  119. prodigydancer says:

    http://b15h0p.mybrute.com/

    A friendly warning: I’ve got a bear and I’m not afraid to use it! ;-)

    report

  120. Ecruzil says:

    How do you get a weapon? And I need some pupils. :))

    report

  121. mouj says:

    http://killermouj.mybrute.com/

    Of course i suck since i just got there. : )

    report

  122. ZephyrSB says:

    http://zephyrsb.mybrute.com

    It all goes so well until they throw something at the pooch…

    report

  123. Dustin says:

    Enjoying this. Come fight me. Muahahaha

    report

  124. muckypup says:

    http://muckypup.mybrute.com come and have a go then, i dares ya!

    report

  125. Demiurgix says:

    http://demiurgix.mybrute.com/
    The knife is not bad, but nothing compared to that damn hammer.

    report

  126. Martin MPK says:

    http://campdavid.mybrute.com

    I beat Lily Allen in my second fight.

    If only we were dating I could be the British equivalent of Chris Brown!

    report

  127. Finn says:

    TheManji is up for fightin’.

    http://themanji.mybrute.com/

    report

  128. Codered says:

    http://coder3d-01.mybrute.com

    I just signed up at this moment and got up to lvl 3!

    report

  129. vlad says:

    http://dwan-dei.mybrute.com pupil me and i will pupil you

    report

  130. hard.. says:

    http://kablamy.mybrute.com/cellule go on, try and beat me :)

    report

  131. nustart says:

    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com
    give me a lvl2 pupil and i’ll
    return the favor right away

    report

  132. nustart says:

    http://creden.mybrute.com
    give me a lvl2 pupil and i’ll
    return the favor right away

    report

  133. nustart says:

    vlad gave you lvl 2 pupil retufa for http://dwan-dei.mybrute.com please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com

    report

  134. Huest says:

    Nutstart, pupilled Hawkeson, pls return thnks

    report

  135. Huest says:

    Same to vlad =)

    report

  136. jason says:

    i’m a newbie to mybrutes but i have a lot already haha.
    here are my brutes:

    icedemon21.mybrutes.com
    tmwcbm.mybrutes.com
    jayeuf.mybrutes.com
    eufy.mybrutes.com
    jasonjunior.mybrutes.com
    jasoniii.mybrutes.com
    jason4th.mybrutes.com
    jason5th.mybrutes.com
    jason6th.mybrutes.com
    jason7th.mybrutes.com
    jason8th.mybrutes.com
    jason9th.mybrutes.com

    report

  137. Furbomb says:

    http://albinodeath.mybrute.com

    pale beatings await!

    report

  138. nustart says:

    huest gave lvl2 pupil coon fuuse to http://gthwasdaq.mybrute.com

    report

  139. nustart says:

    furbomb gave you lvl2 pupil tupp bu return favor if you can to
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com
    http://creden.mybrute.com

    report

  140. nustart says:

    edyim gave you lvl 2 pupil yo upin to http://edyim.mybrute.com/
    please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com/
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com/

    report

  141. darq80 says:

    http://miguelissimo.mybrute.com click please and i’ll click yours!

    report

  142. nustart says:

    shadow jo i gave you a lvl 2 pupil jokesoon please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com/
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com/

    report

  143. nustart says:

    darq80 i gave you a lvl 2 pupil jokesoon2 please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com/
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com/

    report

  144. Any chance you guys can create a forum thread for this? It’s getting rather tiresome.

    report

  145. Zyrusticae says:

    Hmmmm…. Interesting. I’ll try it…

    http://zyrusticae.mybrute.com

    report

  146. Dominik2 says:

    plz fight me aswell

    http://dominik2.mybrute.com

    thx everyone

    report

  147. nustart says:

    nulsyn dominik2 and zyrusticae gave you pupils re turtur1, 2, and 3
    please return favor for either one of my guys
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com
    http://creden.mybrute.com

    report

  148. yoyoy says:

    hey be my pupil i need to level my brute

    http://cru-tan.mybrute.com

    report

  149. http://zoroastrian.mybrute.com says:

    http://zoroastrian.mybrute.com

    you have to click the link for two reasons:
    1. you get the opportunity to get a cool master
    2. i pupil back anytime liek np

    report

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