Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Shameless Abuse of RPS Power: My Brute

By Kieron Gillen on April 8th, 2009 at 7:24 pm.

My Brute has been nagging at the corners of my consciousness for a while now, but it was Simon Parkin who finally made me play. It’s basically a perversely compulsive cross between Progress Quest and a Pyramid Scheme. You create your brute and then challenge people to fights, going up levels. You also gain XP by getting other people to join, which brings the Pyramid scheme into play. Simon noted that it seemed to be yet more proof that my old line about gaming’s dark secret being that occasionally just seeing a number going up being enough. Worryingly true. Its hyper-cute art style’s another boon. It’s easier to see than actually explain, so go play. You’ll totally beat my Violent Trevor. Despite being level 5, she hasn’t got a weapon yet. Pah.

Yes, this an experiment to see how many pupils posting a link to my brute on a biggish PC games site can get me. And because this has made me hit level 10, you can join the RPS clan! (EDIT: CLAN FILLED! SOMEONE ELSE START ONE) Clearly, post your brute’s name in the comment thread so everyone can fight everyone else.

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206 Comments »

  1. The Hammer says:

    Yeah. Violent Trevor, which is apparently a girl, just beat Gremkarc. BUMMER

  2. Nutkins Victory Otter says:

    The incentive to join diminishes with every passing second and yet people still sign up in droves. I’m scared.

  3. Chris Evans says:

    http://evil-evo.mybrute.com/

    I was nicely beaten twice by Violent Trevor!

  4. Erlam says:

    http://erlam.mybrute.com

    I lose a lot, and got some weird ability that gives me full agility. It’s almost entirely useless, as I rarely if ever actually avoid an attack.

  5. Kieron Gillen says:

    Erlam: That’s what I’ve got, and has lead me to be beaten up by everyone. But I’ve just got a knife, which I’m doing some insane 4-attack blow thing, so I think it’s helpful there. I think it’ll turn useful eventually.

    KG

  6. pootank says:

    http://pootank.mybrute.com

    Lost 4 of my 6 but got to lvl 2 !

  7. Talisker says:

    If we cross-pupil each other, we can all level up!

    http://talisker-18.mybrute.com

  8. kenmcfa says:

    http://silvaparam.mybrute.com/ !
    I’ve only just signed up
    /me expects several beatings before I’ve figured the game out.

  9. Cradicus says:

    http://cradicus.mybrute.com/

    I got the Thief ability, it’s awesome!

  10. Biff says:

    http://biffy-biff.mybrute.com

    I have a shield that never saves me!

  11. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Portillo’s Teeth seems to be reasonably competent so far, although some of the opposition are blatantly filthy cheats.

  12. InVinoVeritas says:

    http://invinoveritas.mybrute.com

    I’ve got that lame shield too… Kieron stomped me pretty bad.

  13. Stew says:

    http://bewildered-colin.mybrute.com/ got thumped by Violent Trevor

  14. Theoban says:

    http://theoban.mybrute.com

    In a stunning display of naming creativity there

  15. Azradesh says:

    http://naqam.mybrute.com/

    This is fun :D

  16. Wrault says:

    http://mechakid.mybrute.com Fun indeed! One of those weapons would be nice, though. Or a dog to help me fight. Extra strength seems rather boring.

  17. Nero says:

    Sure I guess
    http://xirius.mybrute.com/
    fear my hairy beast, who got beaten to death by Violent Trevor with a chicken leg.. (or something).

  18. CG says:

    http://lanugo.mybrute.com

    Test your might against the fuzzy, downy bodily hair that is Lanugo!

  19. Sarble says:

    http://toxic-shock.mybrute.com
    I need some sort of a thing I guess

  20. Sarble says:

    Oooh I have a dog. Woof.

  21. ossi says:

    http://evil-ozz.mybrute.com
    I have a nice club

  22. Rabbitsoup says:

    suggest we move the train my brute to the forum? anyone else have the club? it hands out major pain.

    a and http://rabbitsoup.mybrute.com

  23. Benga says:

    http://brutal-benga.mybrute.com
    *grits teeth in expectation of beatings*

  24. Sarble says:

    ViolentTrevor truly is a great sensei: http://violenttrevor.mybrute.com/dojo

  25. CG says:

    So you don’t get xp for surviving fights initiated by others? Thus: a max amount of xp per day corresponding to your number of fights and pupils? Too bad… passive advancement is one of the great pleasures of the RPG style.

  26. Mmmmmmhm says:

    http://mmmmmmmhm.mybrute.com

    Getting stabbed and then clubbed doesn’t seem fair if all I do is drink at people

  27. Tei says:

    @Mmmmmmhm: hhahahaha… sorry.

  28. Bigfoot_King says:

    http://bigfoot-king.mybrute.com my guy has a trumpet and strangely has never lost a fight without it

  29. Markoff Chaney says:

    Well, 2 out of 6 ain’t bad, right? Erlam and Portillo’s Teeth were no match for MarkoffChaney‘s Speed(and, to a lesser extent, Agility and Strength)!

    Continuing on this thought, I figured I would succumb to my alt-itis and I created Mortala to give it another go. She was endowed by her creators with a natural speed of 10 and a skill called “Bolt of Lightning”. Surely, I thought, she will move so fast that none shall touch her and that my hitting faster than my shadow and biting faster than my enemy would afford me with a greater degree of success. Unfortunately I lost 5 of 6 battles with Mortala. Mortala was, at least, able to kill MarkoffChaney.

    My favorite battle had to be this one in which Erlam exacts his revenge flawlessly. I actually did laugh out loud. :) I think I finally figured out that my speed attribute must be related to how quickly I die as opposed to any type of fast attack prowess it might bestow upon my avatar.

  30. duel says:

    Ahem, http://dagger-mouse.mybrute.com

    id like to see where this is going, apart from a waste of my time. but this looks like exactly what i need to procrastinate…

  31. Myrth says:

    http://son-of-myrth.mybrute.com/cellule

    Five victories! Booya! Sadly, ViolentTrevor brought the smack down. Thankfully I now have a nice shiny spear, so I will be back to teach her a valuable lesson. Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!

  32. CanadianT says:

    Any one else not got any sound?

  33. Sagan says:

    http://sagan1338.mybrute.com/

    You’re level 10 now, so go and make that clan.

    edit: Alright I joined your clan.

  34. Tei says:

    “But if I hit level 10, I’ll make a clan for everyone.”

    You are already level 10.

  35. duel says:

    Ahem, http://dagger-mouse.mybrute.com

    this looks like the perfect thing to help my procrastination…

  36. TelefonHonda says:

    http://fuckyouman666.mybrute.com

    Bestest brute there is, for sure.

  37. Darkflight says:

    http://darkflight.mybrute.com/ – I need to steal my friend’s stupidly overpowered hammer

  38. Kieron Gillen says:

    If anyone wants to join the clan, you can do so here.

    KG

  39. KaunMoth says:

    http://kaunmoth.mybrute.com/

    I just keep getting me arse kicked :<

  40. Garu says:

    http://friendgaru.mybrute.com/

    Nearly defeated ViolentTrevor… next time, Gadget!

  41. InVinoVeritas says:

    Is it just me or does clicking on the “join the clan” link require a password that I do not have?

  42. Jrp11 says:

    This is destroying work productivity, haha.

  43. Sarble says:

    @InVinoVeritas Yes – I think that’s ViolentTrevor’s team details, to join I went to the join a clan page in my cell and found clan RPSYFIGHTERS!

  44. Mintsauce says:

    http://mintsauce.mybrute.com

    my FU is week, great find!

  45. tonypiz says:

    http://stacippa.mybrute.com

    Wow, that axe is pretty mean. I won against a lvl 8 brute.

  46. ...hmm... says:

    :O out of curiosity, in the character generator thing i began to type in different gender specific organs and body parts. To my surprise, the ‘brute’ generated matched exactly to the presumed gender of the genitalia etc. Worrying. Does this only happen for me?

  47. rei says:

    http://scheol.mybrute.com

    My first fight, and I beat Trevor! I’m a natural.

    The clan is full, by the way :(

  48. InVinoVeritas says:

    Got it, thanks Sarble.

  49. Feet says:

    http://barry-feet.mybrute.com

    Awesome, I had full speed at level 1 baby. I’M JACKIE CHAN!

  50. Noerartnoe says:

  51. Noerartnoe says:

    meh… that worked well…
    http://noerart.mybrute.com

  52. CanadianT says:

    Clan is full now :(

  53. the probe says:

    http://yeah-dirk.mybrute.com

    What I am now dubbing “the Testicles of Death” proved to be my downfall many, many times.

  54. Jason says:

    you can join the RPS clan!

    Why bother when you can be part of the 120th ranked clan, Plane Tickets Bitch
    Also, my trident weighs a ton.
    http://baby-arm.mybrute.com/

  55. grinnock says:

    This game is kind of stupid in it’s amazing-ness.

    http://grinnock.mybrute.com/

    I like their other game, Alphabounce more.

  56. SykesJester says:

    http://catcher.mybrute.com

    She’s getting pretty good…still need a lot of lvls tho

  57. Satsuz says:

    http://grizzlyfuzz.mybrute.com
    This is more fun than it has the right to be, really.

  58. Vagrant says:

    http://vaguegrant.mybrute.com/

    Won them all so far.

  59. cyrenic says:

    http://cyrenical.mybrute.com

    I am teh suck.

  60. 18Rabbit says:

    http://18rabbit.mybrute.com

    The RPS clan is full already. :sadface:

  61. clinicallyinane says:

    A peril most yellow!

    http://yellow-peril.mybrute.com

    I blame the Fu Manchu, you can’t possibly NOT be racist with *that* popping up.

  62. Drakkheim says:

    Angsty Punctuation seems to get pummeled pretty regularly.

  63. Azradesh says:

    Yay! Level 4!

    This really shouldn’t be fun.

  64. Svengali says:

    http://ezpickins.mybrute.com

    Aww, clan’s full already.

  65. Aphotique says:

    Seriously, why are there no fat brutes? *cries*

    ViolentTrevor with a hammer is serious business…

    http://aphotique.mybrute.com

  66. Satsuz says:

    ViolentTrevor is gonna climb ranks quickly from now on, huh? Already up 3 levels since I first checked…

  67. Lim-Dul says:

    Not if everybody helps me level my character with the *mysterious* name that can’t be tracked back to me at all:

    Lim_Dul
    http://limdul.mybrute.com/

    ;-)

  68. fartdoorknocker says:

    http://fartdoorknocker.mybrute.com if you want an easy battle

  69. Aphotique says:

    Seriously, 274 pupils, your dojo is HUGE! XD

  70. rei says:

    I saw someone with over 7000 pupils, so I guess it’s all relative!

    I have one, and that’s also me ;(

  71. Gnarl says:

    http://the-gnarl.mybrute.com
    And surely some one should start a different clan in the name of one of the other sute-running gents. To see which one is best.

    Someone other than me should do this, as I will probably forget about this game tomorrow.

  72. Nessa says:

    Give Mirala a go

    http://mirala.mybrute.com

    (I think im ready to take on Violent Trevor myself) <3

  73. Valarauka says:

    lmao. Bad doggie! gojirblaster, that was just unfair :p
    http://valarauka.mybrute.com/fight/12658177

    otoh, I got a bitchin’ mace that let me win most of my other fights…

  74. Shalashaska says:

    http://ryablo.mybrute.com/cellule

    Won all my fights except with Violent Trevor. I’m a battle master.

  75. Arathain says:

    http://arathain.mybrute.com

    Of course. You’ll never take me! (except when you do)

  76. SteveHatesYou says:

    http://disgruntled-hobo.mybrute.com

    He may not be strong, but he’s a fast little bastard.

  77. Arathain says:

    I don’t think it likes me. I lost every one of my fights. When I levelled, my hit points went down. Everyone has better stats and kit than I do.

  78. Mishap says:

    Man, the people with pets are evil…

  79. That Guy says:

    I have a pet…
    It does all of nothing.

    http://halona.mybrute.com/

  80. Ultimate Brute says:

    http://arturiapendragon.mybrute.com/

    thought id stick it here :P

  81. NikRichards says:

    http://fragilebum.mybrute.com

    I killed That Guy’s dog, I’m such a bastard.

  82. Sarble says:

    Toxic Shock have axe now, Toxic Shock not know how it work.

    Clan RPSYFIGHTERS! are now ranked 240… w00t?

  83. Simon Parkin says:

    All your dojo are belong to me, Gillen. Just you remember that.

  84. Bob Hope says:

    http://baronterror.mybrute.com/

    You will know me by the trail of dead.

  85. GriddleOctopus says:

    I was your first pupil Kieron, remember that…!

    http://griddleoctopus.mybrute.com

  86. Pidesco says:

    I’ve been playing this for a couple of days, now.

    http://pidesco.mybrute.com

  87. Tamps says:

    http://jellybabyofdeath.mybrute.com

    Damn you! Damn you all! There goes my working day.

  88. Little Green Man says:

    http://little-green-man.mybrute.com
    NOOOO I’m LOOOOOOOOSSSSSSIIINNNNG!!!!!!
    Plz hlps ty kk bb
    =]

  89. manwe says:

    http://dodgybobmcmayday.mybrute.com

    I am the most violent travel agent on mybrute, Fight me if you dare!

  90. James says:

    Poor http://humongor.mybrute.com , he has no dog / bear / creature.

  91. moromete says:

    http://moromete.mybrute.com

    High agility doesn’t help…

  92. Ian says:

    http://angry-ian-man.mybrute.com

    Level 2, and I have a KNIFE!

    Only one win, though. :(

    Also: While it’s sensible to stop grindaholics winning, I wish I could play more matces per day. :(

  93. Warden says:

    http://many-as-one.mybrute.com

    Woo I’ve an axe- doesn’t seem to help much though!

  94. Songbearer says:

    Whyyyy do none of them wear shoes :(

  95. Sagan says:

    Sarble you are way imba. My character was only attacking your dog while you kept on hitting me with that imbalanced ax.

  96. Pani says:

    Wow, this is far more fun than it should be…

    http://paniwan.mybrute.com

  97. Dan Harris says:

    http://catharsisman.mybrute.com

    Bow in fear before my dropping moustache, and Feline Agility!

  98. Dan Harris says:

    Sigh. Drooping, clearly.

  99. Kyr says:

    http://apostlekyr.mybrute.com
    Level 2, and already have a knife AND a sword. Fight me, dammit!

  100. Sarble says:

    Sagan – don’t worry I’m sure they’ll nerf the axedog soon ;)

  101. Mogizzle says:

    http://mogizzle.mybrute.com/

    oddly addicting

  102. Lokijki says:

    http://lokijki.mybrute.com

    My brute is all of the yes.

  103. Lewis says:

    http://rorty.mybrute.com

    because derrida and nietzsche were already taken.

  104. CP says:

    My brute has a knife, which is great, but then he decides to throw it away…

    http://commodore-perry.mybrute.com

  105. Arathain says:

    Hah! Someone attacked me last night, and apparently I beat him up while he was trying to knife my dog.

  106. Standa says:


    Is the distribution of all the abilities, skills, items and pets only about luck, or is it possible to affect it somehow?
    P.S. you can also give me few pupils ;)

  107. Ziv says:

    zivpeleg.mybrute.com

  108. Stinky Pink says:

    I got lucky, my character is awesome! She won all 6 matches and leveled up to level 3 in one setting, I dont think anyone knocked her below half her life!

    http://pinky-stink.mybrute.com/cellule

  109. notarobot says:

    needsahug.mybrute.com

    i need no weapon!
    (not actually true)

  110. FhnuZoag says:

    In as http://slicer99.mybrute.com/

    Do they add a bunch of easy fake players to fight against, or something? My character seems near invincible against characters of the same level. (Shurikens seem to be almost like machine guns)

  111. LOipop says:

    My character just beat violent trevor despite being lv 4.
    Myself got stunned!

    http://fetcher-d.mybrute.com/

  112. augustus says:

  113. Mike says:

    http://rawrdar.mybrute.com/cellule

    i just started today, this thing is addicting

  114. notarobot says:

    sorry for the doublepost, i am not that smart.

    http://needsahug.mybrute.com

    needs a fight! and a pupil! please come beat me into a fine paste…

  115. Feline agility says:

    http://clneo.mybrute.com

    Challenge me to a fight!

  116. ZyloOk says:

    im still looking for a bear (15 brutes and no bear :P, this game is addicting lol)…
    here are my brutes:
    http://sssiliths.mybrute.com
    http://buuzz.mybrute.com
    looking for fights and pupils…

  117. noog says:

    http://noogl.mybrute.com

    The little pet dog type thing seems to kill everyone before I get chance to hit :S

  118. Ian says:

    This game is mostly random and I STILL suck. :(

  119. Muzman says:

    http://transgressor.mybrute.com

    My doggie rocks the house. Fear the Egg/Cream/Beige/Off White-fro as well.
    (only 6 fights a day? I assume you have fights when you aren’t logged in and stuff right?)

  120. Shakey Lo says:

    http://shakey-lo.mybrute.com/

    lost all my fights so far. easy pickings!

  121. benjamin says:

    Visit the mybrute website,challenge my characters http://doji7.mybrute.com http://chileung.mybrute.com

  122. prodigydancer says:

    http://b15h0p.mybrute.com/

    A friendly warning: I’ve got a bear and I’m not afraid to use it! ;-)

  123. Ecruzil says:

    How do you get a weapon? And I need some pupils. :))

  124. mouj says:

    http://killermouj.mybrute.com/

    Of course i suck since i just got there. : )

  125. ZephyrSB says:

    http://zephyrsb.mybrute.com

    It all goes so well until they throw something at the pooch…

  126. Dustin says:

    Enjoying this. Come fight me. Muahahaha

  127. muckypup says:

    http://muckypup.mybrute.com come and have a go then, i dares ya!

  128. Demiurgix says:

    http://demiurgix.mybrute.com/
    The knife is not bad, but nothing compared to that damn hammer.

  129. Martin MPK says:

    http://campdavid.mybrute.com

    I beat Lily Allen in my second fight.

    If only we were dating I could be the British equivalent of Chris Brown!

  130. Finn says:

    TheManji is up for fightin’.

    http://themanji.mybrute.com/

  131. Codered says:

    http://coder3d-01.mybrute.com

    I just signed up at this moment and got up to lvl 3!

  132. vlad says:

    http://dwan-dei.mybrute.com pupil me and i will pupil you

  133. hard.. says:

    http://kablamy.mybrute.com/cellule go on, try and beat me :)

  134. nustart says:

    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com
    give me a lvl2 pupil and i’ll
    return the favor right away

  135. nustart says:

    http://creden.mybrute.com
    give me a lvl2 pupil and i’ll
    return the favor right away

  136. nustart says:

    vlad gave you lvl 2 pupil retufa for http://dwan-dei.mybrute.com please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com

  137. Huest says:

    Nutstart, pupilled Hawkeson, pls return thnks

  138. Huest says:

    Same to vlad =)

  139. Edyim says:

    http://edyim.mybrute.com/
    Come if u dare.

  140. jason says:

    i’m a newbie to mybrutes but i have a lot already haha.
    here are my brutes:

    icedemon21.mybrutes.com
    tmwcbm.mybrutes.com
    jayeuf.mybrutes.com
    eufy.mybrutes.com
    jasonjunior.mybrutes.com
    jasoniii.mybrutes.com
    jason4th.mybrutes.com
    jason5th.mybrutes.com
    jason6th.mybrutes.com
    jason7th.mybrutes.com
    jason8th.mybrutes.com
    jason9th.mybrutes.com

  141. Furbomb says:

    http://albinodeath.mybrute.com

    pale beatings await!

  142. nustart says:

    huest gave lvl2 pupil coon fuuse to http://gthwasdaq.mybrute.com

  143. nustart says:

    furbomb gave you lvl2 pupil tupp bu return favor if you can to
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com
    http://creden.mybrute.com

  144. nustart says:

    edyim gave you lvl 2 pupil yo upin to http://edyim.mybrute.com/
    please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com/
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com/

  145. darq80 says:

    http://miguelissimo.mybrute.com click please and i’ll click yours!

  146. nustart says:

    shadow jo i gave you a lvl 2 pupil jokesoon please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com/
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com/

  147. nustart says:

    darq80 i gave you a lvl 2 pupil jokesoon2 please return favor to
    http://creden.mybrute.com/
    or
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com/

  148. Jim Rossignol says:

    Any chance you guys can create a forum thread for this? It’s getting rather tiresome.

  149. Zyrusticae says:

    Hmmmm…. Interesting. I’ll try it…

    http://zyrusticae.mybrute.com

  150. Dominik2 says:

    plz fight me aswell

    http://dominik2.mybrute.com

    thx everyone

  151. nustart says:

    nulsyn dominik2 and zyrusticae gave you pupils re turtur1, 2, and 3
    please return favor for either one of my guys
    http://hawkeson.mybrute.com
    http://creden.mybrute.com

  152. yoyoy says:

    hey be my pupil i need to level my brute

    http://cru-tan.mybrute.com

  153. http://zoroastrian.mybrute.com says:

    http://zoroastrian.mybrute.com

    you have to click the link for two reasons:
    1. you get the opportunity to get a cool master
    2. i pupil back anytime liek np

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