Zeno Clash Compo: Ten Copies Up For Grabs

By John Walker on April 21st, 2009 at 8:53 am.

Father-Mother instructs you to enter.

Zeno Clash goes live today on Steam and Direct2Drive, and you’ll have noticed that we were really rather taken with it. The melee combat packs an extraordinary punch, accompanied by jaw-dropping world and character design. We’ve strongly recommended you buy it. But how about one better – we’ve arranged with developers Ace Team to give away ten copies of the game via Steam.

Now, clearly if you’re desperate for a copy you’re not going to want to wait long. So this is a speedy compo. We want you to email us via this link saying who you think would win in a fist fight between the four of us at RPS and why, before midnight GMT tonight. The best ten that respond to that question will get themselves a free copy of the splendid game. Hurrah!

Time honoured rules apply, and entries utterlymust come in to the address above, with the subject “Zeno Clash Compo Please Mister” or they will definitely not get read.

Compo closed now. An incredible number of entries. Thank you. Ten winners have received their Zeno Clash codes by email.

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62 Comments »

  1. Heliocentric says:

    Blah! I say you just have a fist fight and whoever wins gets to give to copies to loved ones. You can put the video on youtube and the hits will cover your medical costs.

  2. a rob amongst many says:

    The shotgun would win.

  3. Malagate says:

    @Helio, not that I’m against watching a RPS all-out brawl, but medical costs? Are you suggesting that they use BUPA, that they’re too good for the NHS, or that they don’t contribute to National Insurance and are thus charged? Scandalous one and all!

    Also I’ve no idea, also also I’ve already ordered a copy and don’t want to steal a copy-less/cheapskates chances to win. On a whim…I’d say James, as he looks devious enough to suggest Queensbury rules all round and then break said rules.

  4. Heliocentric says:

    Oh course NHS will tend to the medical care… They youtube profits will be taken away in tax.

    Apart from Mr Gillen who is technically a lizard and will use the net profits to pay a vet.

  5. Schaulustiger says:

    I’m really tempted to participate because yesterday’s review has made me quite curious about Zeno Clash.
    My mediocre english skills keep me from writing, though, as they would surely not set off your fine British humour sensors.

    Next time, please do a highscore contest in some mind numbing browser flash game so that non-English speakers can show their awesomeness, too :)

  6. Heliocentric says:

    The british find johnny foreigner exciting and exotic, just dont try and be english funny (dry and hateful). You’ll just seem depressed.

    Do enter!

  7. Malagate says:

    @Schaulustiger, I’d say have a go anyway! Give a simple and short reason as to why [RPS-metabrain-X] would beat the tar out of the rest, doesn’t have to be complex, even interject some non-English humour which could be fresh and funny to us English types. (me and Helio seem to be on the same wavelength today, I am worried about my thoughtspace).

    Although it could have been interesting to do a vote, like send in a vote for which one you think would kick the most ass, then say randomly pick 5 people who voted for the most fighty RPSer then 5 from those few who voted the least punchy RPSer and give them all a copy.

  8. John Walker says:

    Schaulustiger – your English seems better that wot ours is based on that comment : )

  9. Bobsy says:

    Oh, not ANOTHER elephant-punching game.

  10. DeliriumWartner says:

    I love the idea of me having a “fine British humour sensor”. I say award him a copy just for that line! My humour sensor is tingling.

  11. Schaulustiger says:

    See, that’s what I’m talking about. You keep patting my back, encouraging me to submit something and in the same line you come up with some witty, incredibly clever remark, thus only proving my point.

    Besides, I’m German and our Internet providers have huge whirling swastikas installed, that chop every attempt of a joke to tiny, harmless and completely un-humorous bits and bytes anyway.

  12. Markoff Chaney says:

    I maintain that your English is far superior to my German (in fact, anything I say would probably be offensive to someone (much like my English)) and, if I were you, I’d absolutely indulge yourself in your fanfic of grown men pummeling each other to a pulp. A lot of us already picked Zeno Clash up (at 10 or 15 dollars) so that just makes the pool of fish you are fighting against that much smaller.

    I can’t speak for the British (home of Snuff Box, Python and Red Dwarf), but I know we Americans aren’t as funny as we think we are. No worries. :)

  13. Heliocentric says:

    I think prefix-tiger is humour sharking us.

  14. Ian says:

    My entry almost referred to Kieron as being “depraved” before I decided that might be a bit harsh.

  15. Dominic White says:

    I have entered this brawl-related competition, because while I have preordered the game for myself, I’d love to have a second copy to give to a frugal-yet-geeky friend. She must be introduced to the weird and wonderful world of punching elephant-men in the face.

    Sharing and caring with violence. It’s what I do.

    And edit function is back! Hurrah!

  16. unclelou says:

    Last time I got into a fight (many years ago, and without me doing anything at all), the surprising blow to my head knocked my glasses right off my head.

    So, who of RPS is wearing glasses and does *not* have the blind-fight feat?

  17. Malagate says:

    @unclelou, according to the RPS “about” page, the only one wearing glasses in that is Kieron. Either there are contact lenses afoot or it turns out years of videogames and journalism doesn’t automatically mean glasses all round (barring the bar of course).

    But of course:
    Journalist + glasses = Clark Kent
    Journalist – glasses = …!

  18. SirKicksalot says:

    Journalist – glasses = …!

    Damn, that’s a tough riddle! Can you give me the answer, good sir?

    I guess the mail must include the Steam account’s name too, right?

  19. Xercies says:

    Done and Done. Your competitions are weird, but there good.

  20. Ian says:

    @ SirKicksalot: Interesting question… I didn’t include mine*. I just imagine they’ll ask if necessary when they e-mail the ten winners.

    * Not that they’re liable to need it. :D

  21. SirKicksalot says:

    Eh, I’ll guess they’ll just mail us a code. That’s what the GoG guys do.

  22. Richard Beer says:

    Schaulustiger, you seem pretty damn funny to me. Enter, already, swastikas be damned! They’re just a Hindu religious symbol anyway.

  23. radomaj says:

    I would enter if I hadn’t already bought it when it was 50% off. Now, I just have to wait until 20pm my time and clash away!

  24. The Hammer says:

    I hope you like puns, RPS, I hope you like puns…

  25. Rei Onryou says:

    Would Horace allow such fighting to occur? Surely there is only peace and love and occasional homo-erotic incidents between the hivemind?

    This competition confuses my beliefs. :’(

  26. Richard Beer says:

    Do you mean Hungry Horace?

  27. Gurrah says:

    Going to pass on this one since I already own it and am still waiting for it to be released on Steam, little hint there Gabe, heat up them preload pipes already!

  28. Kieron Gillen says:

    Beer: HORACE THE ENDLESS BEAR!

    KG

  29. Premium User Badge Morph says:

    Alec obviously, but I’ve already pre-ordered Zeno Clash so my clever reasoning will go unknown.

  30. qrter says:

    I’d rather have Horace The Endless Beer.

  31. Richard Beer says:

    Gillen: Lawks! After some cursory research I now know wtf you’re talking about and stand corrected.

  32. Schaulustiger says:

    With some of you being kind enough to push aside my shame, I reluctantly submitted some sort of contest entry. Sorry to the poor staffie that has to read through that mess of a text.

    A tip of the hat to all insightful RPS commenters, though, for being the nicest kind of guys to be found on any gaming related site. I know why I always click on the RPS bookmark first when having some of that sparce free time. You all rock!

  33. qrter says:

    You’re sure to win now, Schaulustiger, after all the thread publicity you’ve gotten – RPS have to be total heartless bastards to deny you a copy now.. I wonder..

  34. Schaulustiger says:

    @qrter:
    Yes, maybe all that whining by myself was just a well-calculated plea for mercy. You know, like those little puppies that look so insanely innocent that you just have to give them a treat.

    However, being regarded as RPS’ mercy-begging, puppy-like whiner fills me with so much shame, that you can disregard the assumption I made above. I’m really convinced that posting here as a non-native speaker of the english language – as I am – is a hard thing to do, especially since I consider the writing style and humour of both the RPS editors and the commenters to be absolutely stunning. I like to come here to learn about games I’d normally not hear about and also have a good laugh at some of the punchlines, all being written by someone who does not have to use a dictionary for every second word he writes.

  35. qrter says:

    I wasn’t trying to imply you were trying to win RPS over with a ruse, Schaulustiger! I would not dare doubt your earnestness, god forbid.

    Doesn’t matter anyway – the RPS Hivemind has a tiny little cat’s heart for feeling emotion when needed but it lies unused in a cupboard because no one knows how to hook it up properly.

    Your English is pretty fantastic for someone who think his English is pretty bad. It’s fun to imagine the sound of frantic pageturning while reading your comments, though. ;)

  36. Richard Beer says:

    For the record, Schaulustiger, I’d have put you down as a native speaker (typer anyway) were it not for your clearly Germanic name. You really are very good at expressing yourself in English.

    Don’t beat yourself up about being from Germany! Be inspired by RPS, not intimidated by it! You belong here as much as anyone else. In fact, I’m sure whatever you can bring to the table will provide a welcome relief from our typically cynical, Anglo-Saxon approach to things, so don’t try to assimilate too much. Just do your own thing.

  37. Dave says:

    I’ll give this a shot, since Steam and Paypal seem not to be on speaking terms for me lately and my feeble attempts at preordering have come to naught.

  38. dhex says:

    it’s too bad i already have a copy of this. all of rps together can’t weigh more than 300lbs, right? :)

  39. qrter says:

    Zeno Clash is now in the ‘Top Sellers’ list on Steam. Good to see. :)

  40. Blather Blob says:

    Why would they pick this week to release? Surely for a Steam-exclusive game, the pop-up ads, weekend deals, and free play weekends are critical to their success, and surely all of Steam’s might is going to be devoted this week to L4D and Survivor Pack self-promotion.

  41. Tim James says:

    The editors must be delayed because they haven’t told me I’ve won yet.

    That’s the only explanation!

  42. Rei Onryou says:

    @dhex: Kieron’s ego alone probably weighs 300lbs.

    Zing!

  43. Rosti says:

    Why only the “core four” brains of the hivemind? Is it because Tim Stone would win and no one wants to hurt Quinns?

  44. Jim Rossignol says:

    Everyone wants to hurt Quinns.

  45. nakke says:

    Uhm, I can’t download it from D2D… just says “Pre-ordered” on my account page. Tips?

    Edit: Oh, seems like “April 21st” means April 21st, 20:00 CET. Of course!

  46. Schtee says:

    @nakke Yeah, what the fuck? Surely Valve don’t have a 6 hour exclusive or whatever? Cos surely that’d be silly.

  47. nakke says:

    Mehh, now it’s live on Steam but not on D2D. INJUSTICE!

  48. Schtee says:

    Is it literally not going to be accessible until 20:00 CET? One wonders why digital pre-orders have needless around-fannying such as this.

  49. ...hmm... says:

    umm.. there isnt a word limit or anything is there? i kind of got a little carried away… but it’ll only take a minute or two to read, i promise :O

  50. nakke says:

    It’s already 20:00 CET (well, CEST to be precise now with DST and all that), and that was when it became available in Steam as far as I can see.