Rock, Paper, Shotgun

Pornography Starring Your Mother: Meet The Spy

By Alec Meer on May 17th, 2009 at 11:06 am.

It’s here! It’s very funny! It’s absurdly violent! It’s like Poirot with more splattered brains! It’s one of the most incredibly-animated things I’ve ever seen! It even includes ‘your mum’ gags! It’s been unofficially leaked in low res! It’s… Meet The Spy!

Another thing I really like about this: it’s the Meet The video that’s most like the game itself, as opposed to the more abstract settings and stories of the others.

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194 Comments »

  1. Martin K says:

    In-fucking-credible.

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  2. blerg says:

    Scouts mother is really hot.

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  3. Poltergeist says:

    “Another thing I really like about this: it’s the Meet The video that’s most like the game itself, as opposed to the more abstract settings and stories of the others.”

    I wish playing as a spy was half as exciting and badass as shown in the video :(

    Valve really is good at this marketing thing, I haven’t touched TF 2 for 3 months and now I want to play it right now!

    I actually was there when a guy managed to leak the video on the Facepunch forums.

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  4. Bobsy says:

    Wait, wait, wait. The Red Spy has been doing his own mother?

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  5. JW says:

    “Another thing I really like about this: it’s the Meet The video that’s most like the game itself, as opposed to the more abstract settings and stories of the others. ”

    Come on, discussing and stuff, no running around and shooting. :) Still lovely and abstract as usual imo.

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  6. Stupoider says:

    That was.. HNNNNGGGGG. I love you, Valve! <3

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  7. MrBejeebus says:

    omg i laughed so much!!!!!!

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  8. Stense says:

    Brilliant! Best one yet.

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  9. Monchberter says:

    Exactly what i needed on a Sunday morning. Just perfect. :)

    And a ‘real’ spy keeps his mask ON in bed. ;)

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  10. Kholmark says:

    My guess is they learnt a lot from the intro sequence to Left 4 Dead, in the sense that they used it not only to present the setting and characters but to also showcase some of the mechanics of the game.

    This “Meet The” appears to do the same, we can see the spy using most of his abilities: disguise, backstabbing, electro sapper.

    As to the video itself, fucking hilarious; love the bit at the end, anyone knows what he actually says in french?

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  11. Poltergeist says:

    Rumors have it that the Scout’s mother is actually the Pyro, and that the Red Spy had an affair with the Blu Pyro.

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  12. Fazer says:

    The best one so far! And the bloodiest, too. Spy looks really badass in the movie O_o

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  13. Flint says:

    I think this is the weakest so far but eh :(.

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  14. Arnulf says:

    Scout’s mum is hot!

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  15. Thirith says:

    Bit at the end: I think he calls the scout’s mum “my little cauliflower.” Bless.

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  16. HidesHisEyes says:

    “ah, my little cauliflower”?

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  17. Vanguard says:

    @Kholmark

    Sounds like “my little flower”. I don’t know the other word he says though.

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  18. Funky Badger says:

    WIN

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  19. lemming says:

    I love Valve so much it hurts…..like physically….inside me….

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  20. TooNu says:

    That, was awesome :) Love it.

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  21. SlappyBag says:

    Absolutely brilliant, nice that it really has a story to it. The animation is incredible as well, I’m glad they took their time – I’ll be watching again once its out on steam.

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  22. Nuyan says:

    Amazing. Best one so far.

    “No… That would be your mother!”

    Most nonsensical plotline ever. It’s perfect.. Brilliant. I do wonder how the scout got to its end though.

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  23. mrpier says:

    It’s “My little cauliflower” apparently

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  24. anonymous17 says:

    Computer: Protect the briefcase!

    Soldier: We need to protect the briefcase!


    What? Is the Soldier Combine now? Either that or some sort of Star-Trek-computer-girl-hybrid.
    Hilarious though.

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  25. Thomas Lawrence says:

    It’s broken!

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  26. ChaosSmurf says:

    Scout’s mom: you would.

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  27. Mr Pink says:

    But everyone knows that you should never disguise as a scout!

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  28. Jacques says:

    Yeah, choufleur is cauliflower. French terms of endearment are a little odd. N’est ce pas ma biche?

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  29. anonymous17 says:

    But that’s not just a red spy.

    That is the Red Spy.

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  30. Stupoider says:

    Scout’s mum is the announcer.

    Conspiracy theorists, go!

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  31. Kast says:

    Excellent as always. Valve’s always pushing themselves to go further and it works every time…

    I am however confused to see (or not as the case may be) that Meet the Spy hasn’t appeared on Steam or the TF2 blog or the Spy Update pages… :/

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  32. Mark-P says:

    This is amazing. I’ve been rewatching it all morning and it doesn’t get any less hilarious or impressive on each subsequent viewing. There’s so many beautiful little touches, so many brilliant gags, fantastic editing and choreography, great voice acting and peerless facial animation. And they’re still just using a higher-poly version of the game engine to do this

    Valve have demonstrated that they have the talent to produce AAA animated material. For what sinister purpose might they have acquired such a capability? We can only hope that a TF2 movie is their ultimate goal. ;)

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  33. Lack_26 says:

    I took it as ‘My little hot flower’ or something that effect, but then again my French sucks.

    EDIT: Okay, I re-watched it, I was wrong.

    Also, the scout’s Mum is blatantly the announcer.

    @Kast, perhaps it has. But it’s still cloaked, biding its time.

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  34. Spliter says:

    ….I was struck with awe. This is the best meet the video I could EVER as for. I have tears in my eyes!
    One thing that bothers me is:
    Not a notice about that video on the valve side…

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  35. Ecko says:

    Ye Mother of God, I have never cried with laughter so much!

    What, are you president of his fan club? No, that would be your mother. Wuhssubbubuhh-

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  36. TheDeadlyShoe says:

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaalllright then.

    You go Heavy.

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  37. jf says:

    Wait, does this mean the Red Spy could be the Blue Scout’s dad?

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  38. Jon says:

    Video hasn’t appeared officially yet because it was put up by Valve, then taken down again. But there was an iPhone app which let people still download the video and so people downloaded it like there was no tomorrow.

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  39. Rob says:

    Brilliant, absolutely brilliant

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  40. Jacques says:

    I think they’ve got the choufleur bit wrong, sounds like he says “ma choufleur” when it should be “mon choufleur”.

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  41. Dave says:

    So is the spy a Frenchman?
    I always thought he was British.

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  42. Man Raised By Puffins says:

    Great stuff, nice work Valve.

    @ Kast:

    I am however confused to see (or not as the case may be) that Meet the Spy hasn’t appeared on Steam or the TF2 blog or the Spy Update pages… :/

    According to Shacknews it was accidentally uploaded to Valve’s Youtube account and released early (I’d imagine they were saving it for the Spy/Sniper update finale). It’s since been taken down but the video has spread everywhere, obv.

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  43. Jacques says:

    He’s a Frenchman with a sucky accent.

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  44. The Hammer says:

    Hahahahahaa. That was brilliant. Really confidently put together. Grade A dialogue and voices. Man. Valve clearly have love for their own game.

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  45. A-Scale says:

    They simply couldn’t have made a funnier or better video. It is in all ways perfect, and the world is more perfect for them having made it.

    But I must ask, where did you gents come across this video? It’s not on the Teamfortress.com site, nor anywhere else that I can see. Was it leaked directly to the press?

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  46. Carra says:

    Excellent clip. And does what it’s supposed to do: I want to get my copy of the game out of the closet and install it again :)

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  47. Nick says:

    I enjoy the videos a lot more than the game now.

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  48. sockpuppetclock says:

    The video was apparently set to private on Valve’s youtube account, but with the iPhone you can still see the video even if it was private, apparently.

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  49. Nurdbot says:

    Scout’s mum is the announcer.
    Conspiracy theorists, go!
    ^
    Sunk! this is used on the official TF2 blog. Which is a relief because you WOULD the scouts mum. Not the Announcer.
    http://tf2wiki.net/wiki/File:Theannouncer.jpg

    Also, VALVE please make a TF2 DVD film :(.

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  50. Muzman says:

    Jacques says:
    He’s a Frenchman with a sucky accent.

    As someone pointed out to me when complaining a bit about the Sniper’s Austro South LondAfroZealand accent, the Heavy’s accent is something of a pan regional cliche as well.
    So it sorta makes sense (although I reckon you could find Americans that talk like the Soldier, the Scout and the Engineer, but hey).

    Oh yeah: That was great. I can see why they take their time between each one. But the more elaborate they get, the more a TV show becomes a must.

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  51. Stupoider says:

    Nurdbot, I think that’s fanart, because Valve has never released the Announcer’s appearance. ^^ Unless it’s the Scout’s mum.

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  52. The Fanciest of Pants says:

    So awesome. For a company that built it’s success on a game with no cinematics, they sure are good at them.

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  53. White Noise says:

    Sounds like the video was leaked by the Spy to me.

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  54. Wallace_a says:

    “and now he’s here to **** us!”

    Hilarious.

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  55. wiper says:

    “I think they’ve got the choufleur bit wrong, sounds like he says “ma choufleur” when it should be “mon choufleur”.”

    As ‘choufleur’ in this case is an adjective referring to a woman, “ma petite” is the correct opening.

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  56. sinister agent says:

    Downside: Having never played the game, I can be pretty sure that it couldn’t possibly be half as much fun as these videos are.

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  57. Jacques says:

    Wiper, I’m French, it’s not correct. Choufleur, for whatever reason is masculine, therefore the correct usage is “mon”, not “ma”. The fact that it’s reffering to a woman is irrelevant.

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  58. Unlucky Irish says:

    The way I see it is that the Red Spy is the Blue Scout’s father and thus did not kill the Scout in the film but merely out manoeuvred him. However, because of the shame of having a child out of wedlock his mother would only say that his father was a “man of mystery”; Leading the Scout to believe that the Blue Spy was in fact his father; though he would never dare raise this issue for fear of revealing that his mother has looser morals than an investment banker.

    Now, with his mission failed and his Team-mates slaughtered (including who he thought was his father) the Blue Scout will swear Brooklyn style, bat-centric vengeance against the Red Spy….HIS OWN FATHER *cue dramatic music*

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  59. Wirbelwind says:

    @Nurdbot
    That’s fanart, though the artist of that piece of art has recently been hired by Valve to do some Valve store work. Apparently Gabe loves that Announcer drawing.

    Awesome video, so many great things in it. I love the duels, reminded me of ‘The Untouchables’ and some other mafia movies.

    And as usual the speculation has already began; scout’s mom pyro, scout son of spy, announcer is scout’s mother … Somehow typical of TF2 fans but not surprising given the great character design of TF2. Any other shooter they’re just grunts. In TF2, they have personality. Tons of it.

    Fantastic movie.

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  60. A-Scale says:

    Wiper, I’m French, it’s not correct. Choufleur, for whatever reason is masculine, therefore the correct usage is “mon”, not “ma”. The fact that it’s reffering to a woman is irrelevant.

    Merci

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  61. Sonic Goo says:

    I thought he said ‘chauffeur’… because there are times when he feels… he’d rather not be… the one behind the wheel…

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  62. Jigahaganaga says:

    It’s really well made I’ve upon being linked it proceeded to demand people watch it because of how awesome it is, well done and props to valve for making this entertaining.

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  63. Nurdbot says:

    I sincerly do hope the Announcer and Scouts Mother are not connected, that’d just make things too silly and Star Wars-esqe. Next thing you’ll know, the Engineer and Soldier are half brothers teaming up with their sons from the FUTURE (Demoman and Spy) to fight for their transvestite mothers love (Pyro). The Heavy is their robotic cyborg sidekick. And the Sandvich is behind it all.

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  64. Inigo says:

    Scout’s mother my arse.
    It’s OBVIOUSLY Cate Archer.

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  65. Thingus says:

    I SPY (ahahaha) with my little eye, what could be new melee weapon for the Sniper, at around 1:53.

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  66. Bhazor says:

    Love the expressiveness in “And now he’s here to f**k us!” Also the best head boom since Scanners.

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  67. Clovis says:

    TF2 movie get!

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  68. Lack_26 says:

    Ah, you speak French, I too am a master of the language. Watch as I perform great acts of… er… speakerage of French.

    Er… Je suis la Gare?

    Definitely my favourite line of French, result of a long running in-joke.

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  69. CakeAddict says:

    I wish I could use my sappers like that. =(
    I really liked the expressions and is it just me or are they getting better and better at making these vids?

    Also anybody else who thinks the medic part is the most badass thing of all ‘meet the’ trailers?

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  70. tekDragon says:

    OK I don’t want to split French hairs terribly more but calling someone dear to you “chou-fleur” (proper spelling) and having it mean cauliflower is wierd and I’ve never heard that used as a term of endeerment in french.

    However, the spy could be saing “Choux Fleur” (maybe without the hyphen). “choux” can be used in French as an adjective that means familiar, gentle, and pleasing. Then, calling the scout’s mom “Ma petite choux fleur” might make more sense.

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  71. Redford says:

    Ok, now valve needs to add one of those “Alert Boards” to the actual map.

    INTRUDER ALERT RED SCOUT STEALING SANDVICH

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  72. Definitely one of the better TF2 videos in a long time and not just because we haven’t gotten one in a while.

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  73. Jacques says:

    Tek, even if that were the case you’d still say “mon choux”, not “ma choux”.

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  74. Stick says:

    “IIIINCOMING!”

    … not the most subtle moment in the film, but Heavy Slapstick never fails to crack me up.

    Don’t think this is any more violent than the other vids, really. Just seems that way since, with the Spy, every kill is up close and personal.

    Also, the sheer poetry of Blue Spy responding on Scout’s level of bratty smack… and then providing pictures.

    Where do I get in line for “marry me, Valve”?

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  75. Smurfy says:

    This is the greatest Meet the Team ever. Even better than Meet the Sniper! I’m going to email Robin Walker to congratulate him and the team and urge them to do the remaining Team videos in this style.

    The best part is that when we get this video in HD, we’ll get to see countless easter eggs on the alert board at the start of the video. Should be hilarious.

    I do wish this video hadn’t been leaked though, and we’d got it in its intended format as part of a big release page.

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  76. Serenegoose says:

    So. We have a known female in TF2 in the pyro. BUT YET! We have never seen her without a mask. And now we find out that the spy is seeing a HEREBEFORE UNMENTIONED WOMAN in the scouts mother. I’m thinking that… THE SCOUTS MOTHER IS THE PYRO. A forbidden love for the spy. Just try and argue otherwise.

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  77. Rich_P says:

    Heh, the big board + soldier are my favorite parts.

    It’s amazing how these have evolved. “Meet the Heavy” was pretty much a tech demo. Can’t wait to meet the pyro.

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  78. JKjoker says:

    lol, these videos always remind me of Evil Genius
    man i wish they would make a single player game with these characters instead of wasting them on online crap

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  79. Walter says:

    This video needs to be gone through frame by frame.

    The sniper picks his kukri off a box that says “Razor-” and has a picture of a wild boar on it.

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  80. @Serenegoose
    The pyro is male as the voice actor is a man, plus does the muffled pyro sound high pitched like a woman no.

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  81. Max says:

    Fucking. Awesome. I LOLd.

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  82. Serenegoose says:

    @Shadowmancer The pyro is a girl, but doesn’t want to be constantly propositioned by the other members of the team, and so has practiced masculinising her voice to disguise the fact. But she doesn’t fool me. I’ve seen the handbag, I’ve seen the valve devs casually refer to her as her, and I seen the editted out little reference to the pyros girlness that was in there when they confirmed the spy thing as being real.

    Only the spy knows her true nature, because one time he disguised as her and then took off her mask and looked in the mirror and he was all “indeed?” and then he took her aside, said that he could understand why she would hide herself from those imbeciles, and seduced her with fine wine and romantic dancing. Then they gave birth to the scout 5 years later. That’s how it went, Gabe Newell himself TOLD me.

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  83. Pijama says:

    Seriously, it is getting ridiculous. Because I would KILL to see a Team Fortress movie now.

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  84. BLU Medic says:

    Fucking Spy stole my glasses.

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  85. Nurdbot says:

    For detail freaks, notice the Soldier putting the code in the door bit? If Heavy hadn’t charged the man would have spent all day just patiently and randomly going through each possible combination on the keypad. Genius.

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  86. @Serenegoose the only reason the community believe the pyro to be female is that on the trading cards it says “no one knows if even he is a man”, valve are just trolling with us and you believe them, here is proof he is male http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0060794/, the pyro is a tf2 version pf deadpool who constantly uses pop cultural references and breaks the 4th wall if no one knew the gender of deadpool would you want that character to be female?

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  87. radomaj says:

    I can’t wait for the HD version of the board. As of now, people on Steam Forums saw “In Toilet”, “Explosives”, “Pushing Cart” and others.

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  88. Serenegoose says:

    You’re obviously wrong. if the pyro was male then there’s no way that he could have given birth to the scout. The spy is virile, incredibly so, but I don’t think even he can impregnate males.

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  89. Rich_P says:

    According to one easter egg thread, pyro’s mom looks like a TF2 pinup girl you see on the spawn room calendars.

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  90. @Serenegoose
    Valve won’t reveal the identity/gender of the pyro, the video will just be off the pyro burning stuff.

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  91. Serenegoose says:

    @Shadowmancer: Of course. That’s how she rolls. She doesn’t have to prove her gender to you, it’s unimportant next to her firey passion for pyromania.

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  92. blindpsychic says:

    @nurd

    Actually, Soldier put in the right code. If you look close, the 1 on the keypad is really beatup and all the others are perfectly fine. And you hear the door opening, before the heavy charges in and makes it pointless.

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  93. Cigol says:

    Absolutely brilliant. Come on Valve, make a feature film!

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  94. Dagda says:

    The scout was too obvious. I was disappointed that it wasn’t actually the *soldier*.

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  95. psyk says:

    So the reason you are giving for the pyro being a dude is because a guy does his voice does that mean bart is a woman?

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  96. Wulf says:

    @Shadowmancer

    You appear to be assuming that the Pyro is Caucasian and of a standard Commonwealth/American descent, that’s a huge assumption, my friend!

    To take a less narrow view of it, there are many accents and ethnicities where a woman can have a voice nearly as deep as any man’s, and much deeper than that of the average Commonwealth/American Caucasian.

    I’m personally hoping that the Pyro is a slightly overweight Russian woman named Helga, just to freak the hell out of the more Microscopic World TF2 players.

    Go on Valve, do it, I believe in you!

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  97. Stupoider says:

    I hope we never find out the Pyro’s gender and leave the case unsolved.

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  98. tekDragon says:

    @ Jacques:

    I’m not saying his French is proper, just that I doubt he’s calling her a caulifower.

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  99. @Wulf and anyone stupid to believe the pyro is a woman.

    read the official pyro description “Only two things are known for sure about the mysterious Pyro: He sets things on fire and he doesn’t speak. In fact, only the part about setting things on fire is undisputed. Some believe his occasional rasping wheeze may be an attempt to communicate through a mouth obstructed by a filter and attached to lungs ravaged by constant exposure to his asbestos lined suit. Either way, he’s a fearsome, inscrutable on-fire Frankenstein of a man. If he even is a man. ”
    Also male voice actor http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0060794/ sigh.

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  100. szudden says:

    Cauliflower would sound like “Shoo-Fleur”, but he is pronouncing it “Shoh-feur”, with comic emphasis on the second syllable sounding kind of like an ‘l’. So he’s saying “ma petit chauffeur”. I’m pretty sure chauffeur is feminine.
    It’s not supposed to make sense, it’s another joke– as though it’s the only french word the writers know, besides “ma” and “petit”. Sort of a Pepe La Pew thing.

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  101. Chalkster says:

    Couple tidbits….
    Spies can’t appear to hold the sandman!
    And also: If you watch the spy’s head get shot off in slowmo…
    He’s just a mask, a brain, and eyes. It’s awesome.
    And having seen the possible medic expressions in this vid, I can’t wait for that video.

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  102. ChampionHyena says:

    The guy who plays the Spy, Dennis Bateman, is also the guy who plays the Pyro.

    …I think there’s something poetic about that.

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  103. EetsJustAVideo says:

    If he even is a man.

    Cyborg female undead zombie thing!

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  104. MaybeNextTime says:

    Possibly taking this a bit far, but you can never be sure with Valve: what’s that gun in the rack above the soldier’s shotgun, right at the beginning of the video?

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  105. @MaybeNextTime
    Thats just the sniper rifle below the shotgun is the flamethrower.

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  106. Russ says:

    @Dagda

    No, because he used his shotgun, which would have removed the disguise. It couldn’t have been the Heavy either since the Spy certainly lacks the bear strength the Heavy has. It was best AS the Scout because it just shows how good the Spy is at disguises.

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  107. @Russ
    Ironically in the video the spy disguises as the classes most easy to spot as spies, as scout spies don’t move as fast as regular scouts and medic spies don’t have an ubercharge percentage displayed.

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  108. Hybrid says:

    The best of the Meet The videos so far!

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  109. Walter says:

    Pijama says: Seriously, it is getting ridiculous. Because I would KILL to see a Team Fortress movie now.

    Larry Probst
    Hugh Jackman
    Hugh Grant
    James A. Skinner
    Sandra Bullock
    Gordon Brown

    These are the people you have to neutralize to make a Team Fortress 2 movie possible.

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  110. Stijn says:

    Oh, it would be totally impossible for a man to voice a female character, oh yes.

    Since the sounds the Pyro makes in-game are pretty nondescript with regards to the Pyro’s gender (they’re so muffled you can’t even really understand, after all) I doubt it matters whether those are recorded by a man or woman.

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  111. Das Blau Medik says:

    @ BLU Medic: Zee medic is a spy!

    @ ChampionHyena: Zee pyro is a spy?

    @ Srsly: I was hoping ‘Meet the Spy’ would turn into ‘Meet the Pyro’ the same way the Sniper update turned into the Spy. I half-expected, throughout the video, that Pyro would just run through the base setting shit on fire and stealing the show. It would’ve been golden. Then, ‘MEET THE SPY PYRO’, MMPH MPH MMMPH!

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  112. Vinraith says:

    Not bad, probably on par with Meet the Scout, but it’s not Meet the Engineer, Demoman, Heavy, or Sniper. That may just mean it fits the character, though, I’ve never been much of a spy fan.

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  113. Guhndahb says:

    Perhaps it’s just the hairdo but the Scout’s mum reminds me of NOLF’s Cate ‘The Operative’ Archer.

    Edit: And, oh yeah, ADORED the video.
    Edit 2: Woops, Inigo noted her resemblance before me but I missed it. I’m with you Inigo.

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  114. I’d rather Valve made a brilliant single player game set in the same universe, than a movie.

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  115. Sam C says:

    I think that noise the medic makes when he sees the spy become him is just perfect, but the whole thing seemed pretty excellent.

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  116. Heliocentric says:

    I hope the pyro is more subtle than either an unveiling or a fire obsession. I hope for the pyro to be zen gardening/cooking and talking about itself while remaining impossible to understand. With subtitles which give up half way. Also reference to spy checking would be good.

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  117. Vinraith says:

    @Jim Rossignol

    I’d love to see a brilliant SP game in the TF2 universe as well, but that’s kind of a false dichotomy isn’t it? The resources, time, and expense involved in producing 3:20 of reasonably witty character movie doesn’t faintly resemble the quantities of those same elements that’d be required to make a quality SP game.

    Honestly, I’d settle for some really good AI bots to play TF2 with on those occasions when I don’t feel like putting up with the unpleasant elements of multiplayer gaming.

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  118. A Dead Eldar Guardian says:

    The fact that Team Fortress 2, a game with no story, created characters, who through accident of their design, end up having more personality than just about any other video game character out there right now, brings tears to my eyes, tears of joy of course.

    edit: Soldier and Heavy are BFFs.

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  119. Nick says:

    I’d like it to go back to pre-release beta when everyone just messed around and laughed a lot and noone was ‘pro’.

    I don’t think their characters were an accident, it was deliberate.

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  120. Gorgeras says:

    Some quick responses to things brought up.

    I thought they were your proposed stars until I read the last bit Walter.

    I think given the behaviour of the Soldier here, his supposed alignment of Lawful Evil might have to be revised.

    The Pyro is a suit full of choreographed insects; we’ve been over this.

    Don’t tell the BNP the Demoman is the only British guy represented on the team. It’s odd that we know exactly where two of the Americans are from: Scout is from Boston, Massachusetts and Engineer is Texan. The Soldier is a comedy US military accent; based on that of General Patton and the personality fits too! He was a Californian of Scottish descent and almost like a fictional character. So all the American characters in TF are distinct in their origins. The non-Americans are only distinct in their nationalities and it gets no more specific than that. It’s a very American game.

    My campaign to get a Velociraptor introduced as a new class has been abandoned due to a lack of support.

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  121. Stupoider says:

    @ Dead Eldar Guardian: “You RED team sissies wouldn’t know how to break a spine even if i- MY SPINE!” Soldier, Meet The Sandvich.

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  122. CannedLizard says:

    I think an interesting way to reveal the Pyros gender, without unmasking her/him, would be to do the video as the pyro running around, killing stuff, interspersed with the usual interview bits (think the demoman one, for example), and at the end, after the Pyro hunts down and kills a red spy, sees a picture on the floor, picks it up, and its the one from the end of Meet the Spy video, and then she puts it in her pocket.

    Although that could be interpreted a few ways.

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  123. Funky Badger says:

    A Dead Eldar Guardian: see also L4D.

    Valve are very, very good at this.

    (Is it odd that their least memorable characters inhabit single-plaer games – I’m looking at you Gordon and Alyx…)

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  124. Stupoider says:

    @Funky Badger: I think Alyx is awesome! And let’s not forget about Kleiner, or Barney, or Eli, or even Magnusson!

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  125. Nimdok says:

    Stabbing to the end credit music? Priceless.

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  126. Funky Badger says:

    Jade and Zooey are marvellous female characters (by way of comparison) – Alyx is atrocious. Having a less than ridiculous cup-size does not make her an engaging character.

    The only memorable characters from HL2:Ep2 are the snarky doctor and the homage to Concerned – and he wasn’t originally written by Valve…

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  127. Bret says:

    I believe someone is forgetting d0g.

    And that just isn’t right.

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  128. Funky Badger says:

    Were Old Man Murray involved in HL2 – by the way? Just that Louis’ “Get it off, get it off me!!!” screech is more memorable than all the dialogue in HL2etc…

    (And “Oh no, zombies killed God” is genius)

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  129. EetsJustAVideo says:

    Gabe Newell listed OMM as one of his favorite sites and tried to solve the crate problem in HL 2 but gave up. Half of OMM works at Valve (did the writing in Portal, TF 2).

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  130. Vinraith says:

    I sincerely pity anyone that doesn’t enjoy the array of characters in HL2, they’re by far some of the most memorable and entertaining pretend people ever put into a video game. Comparing them to the relatively lifeless (though occasionally amusing) L4D crew is absurd.

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  131. EetsJustAVideo: Er… all of OMM work at Valve.

    KG

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  132. Y3k-Bug says:

    Watching Shadowmancer use extremely goofy logic to deduce that the pyro is a man has become more entertaining than the video itself.

    They’ve made numerous references to the Pyro being a woman. Not to say it definitely is, but no one knows for sure outside of Valve HQ.

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  133. EetsJustAVideo says:

    @KG

    Ah…I thought only Erik Wolpaw worked there and not the other guy whose name is less memorable. :/

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  134. Y3k-Bug says:

    Between these Meet the videos, and the *excellent* story in Episode 2 and Portal, I’m actually looking forward to Episode 3 more for its story than its gameplay. That’s saying alot considering how great the gameplay way in Ep 2.

    I hope Valve decides to create new singleplayer IP down the line.

    OMM for the win.

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  135. Y3k-Bug says:

    Good grief the music played when the spy is killing people is great. So ominous.

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  136. Chis says:

    Masterful, excellent, thoroughly enjoyable. Valve’s best yet. Convinced me to play TF2 again come Thursday, after months of not bothering (mostly due to L4D).

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  137. Wulf says:

    RE: Valve Females vs. Jade, April Ryan, and Zoey.

    This is one of the reasons I want the Pyro to be female, because TF2 characters are usually just a little bit off the wall and unexpected, and that’s a good thing.

    The problem with Valve females usually is that they’re stunningly predictable which makes them dull.

    - Oh so sassy and independent, quite invulnerable too.
    - Can hold a gun. Bang, bang, bang. And all that implies.
    - Is what alpha nerds find attractive in fantasy women.

    I’m sorry, but I hated Alyx and wot’s-her-face in L4D, I found them to be terribly staid, they were safe. Just once I want to see Valve do a woman that’s there to be a good female character, as opposed to there to appease the audience.

    I think TF2 could do that.

    Would Alyx fit in TF2? Hahaha, no.

    In fact, the most appealing female to me of the Valve Universe is GlaDOS, and I know so many people are going to hate me for this, but that’s okay.

    This is how I see it though, I want Valve to do a good female character, just once. And in the environment of TF2, they might be able to pull it off. A slightly overweight and non-stereotypical hyperactive Russian female who likes to set fire to things would be perfect.

    Come on, Valve, show me you have it in you! Create an interesting female character! I know you can!

    And that’s my take on things, anyway. Dog has more personality than Alyx, for crying out loud.

    /flee!

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  138. @ Y3k-Bug
    My point still stands how would you like it if Deadpool, Spiderman, Batman, The Joker, Hellboy, Gordon Freeman, Alyx, Master chief and basically all game and comic and all fictional characters were all fat women under makeup. Valve are playing on sexual ambiguity to get ppl interested in the character and to play it, Mouse 1 + w ftw.

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  139. Vinraith: I was responding to people saying they’d like to see a feature-length TF2 movie. Obviously these short films aren’t comparable to a game project.

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  140. LB says:

    Running on the idea that Scout’s mother, and therefore Red Spy’s bedmate, is the Blu Pyro: Perhaps what he is saying is “Ma petite chaud fleur,” “My little hot flower.” Hot as in fire? As in pyro!

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  141. Vinraith says:

    @ Jim Rossignol

    Sorry, somehow I completely missed that. I agree completely with you, in that case. The resources would be much better put towards a single player game than a feature length movie.

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  142. Arnulf says:

    Favourite moment: @1.30 when heavy shows soldier a very delicate picture.

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  143. armless says:

    The blue spy that got his face shot off could have just feigned death, he should have popped up behind the red spy at the end and killed him:)

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  144. Rich_P says:

    If the Valve video ain’t enough, I direct you to this excellent fan-made “Meet the Spy.” The humor is heavily influenced by various TF2 memes (the spy’s face stuffed with cigarettes).

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  145. Serenegoose says:

    LB THAT IS THE SPIRIT. I think you’ve cracked the case.

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  146. psyk says:

    Shadowmancer is bart from the simpsons female or male? as a female does the voice he must be a little girl, right?

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  147. Gorgeras says:

    Feigned having his head blown off? I think there are limits man.

    I think the comments about Alyx are unfair; she is the love interest and all doubt about this(SPOILER) is removed in Episode 2. What’s significant about her is that she isn’t *just* the love interest but a mutual platonic partner as well. She makes up for Gordon’s lack of personality by having enough for two and rather than being over-shadowed by classic characters like Dr Kleiner, the contrasting personalities work well together.

    I think Valve made a smart move in the writing of Half-Life 2 by elevating ‘The One Free Man’ to messianic legend. After the first game the world could be divided into those who had heard of Gordon Freeman and those who hadn’t. He is real-life understated pop culture myth whilst Lara Croft and Mario are dominant white noise. This is the ‘Everyman Effect’: the archetype symbolises what everyone can be but no one is and it’s a powerful emotional appeal. It’s used in the Bible in the form of Christ(except for the bloody miracles; way for some of the gospel writers to miss the point) and ‘the American dream’ is a version of it. Everyone can be the ideal person, but no one is. Why? If everyone can, why not? Gordon Freeman is repeatedly confirmed to be just an ordinary person who should be far out-matched by the enemies he faces and he has no allies most of the time except for dumb luck. Half-Life takes all the crap out of a tale and instead simply describes stuff that happens.

    The hero is always a hardened soldier, trained marine, mercenary caveman or jaded sociopath(the best ones) when they don’t have to be. Gordon Freeman could have been the janitor at Black Mesa and done everything he’s done but no one made that game. He’s only a PhD(meaning the G-man should call him Dr Freeman rather than ‘Mr Freeman’) to logically justify his presence in a classified facility, in the very test chamber where the story begins.

    Bloody hell do I over-analyse things.

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  148. Has nobody picked up on the fact that the Soldier killed the Blue Spy? Are Valve about to add a friendly fire variable?

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  149. Stupoider says:

    Naaah, why would Valve remove friendly fire only to put it back in?

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  150. FernandoDANTE says:

    Epic fucking win. Valve outdo themselves at funny movies. Again.

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  151. BlackBandit says:

    Even though I’m terrible at playing him, The Spy is by far my favourite character. So this was great.

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  152. Y3k-Bug says:

    @Shadowmancer

    If the characters you named were fat women under makeup I wouldn’t care, so long as they were compelling characters.

    Why, would you care?

    @optimaximal
    Don’t read so much into it mate, the soldier shot the spy because it was funny, not because they’re teasing a new play mechanic.

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  153. waffles says:

    I predict the scouts mum is actually the pyro.

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  154. hun23 says:

    http://forum.game-central.org/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=2267&start=100

    Turns out this is a fake update. Sorry for any confusion.

    (Thank you the Hammer)

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  155. The Hammer says:

    Hun23, that picture has “fake update” right at the bottom. :P

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  156. James T says:

    I like the ‘clue’ of the Scout not being able to open the door. “Yo, a little help here?”

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  157. Jachap says:

    The Scout’s shocked little throat noises when viewing the pictures of his mother are absolute comedic perfection.

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  158. jarvoll says:

    I only skimmed, but amongst the arguments about cauliflower’s gender, no-one seems to have noticed that he said “petit” and not “petite” (which is a mistake if using “ma”), or the fact that he pronouced it “chaufleur”, or the fact that it’s spelled chou-fleur.

    *stops being too anal about french*

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  159. Soulless One says:

    Did anyone notice the box the Sniper’s Kukri was on? It was an urgent delivery box for the Razorback. You can see “Urgent – ….
    a picture of a boar
    “Razorb….
    “by”
    “MAI…”

    I think that can easily translate to Urgent Delivery Razorback by MAIL.

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  160. Russ says:

    Come to think of it, here’s hoping the Heavy gets a new unlock to charge people with his gun, knocking them out of the way.

    And the Spy’s new melee weapon? Kung-fu!

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  161. BabelFish says:

    best line in the movie is the heavy’s “AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaalllrightthen….”

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  162. JKjoker says:

    I hate Alyx, i felt like the had a chain tied to my balls and walked me like a freaking dog, specially since she is immortal (except to plot related injuries) and has unlimited ammo, i just let her get mobbed by zombies and threw grenades at her feet (slightly hoping i might blow her up too :D)

    About a single player TF2, they have the engine, a lot of characters, animations and other resourses done, it wouldnt be that difficult to write a simple story, make some levels and run with it
    how about a Silent Storm/Jagged Alliance like game where you play a mercenary group with the guys and just go on standalone missions (making it easy to release more in the future and even leaving the possibility of a making short campaigns of several missions stringed together) ?

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  163. Nano says:

    JKJoker: Jesus god, did Alyx run over your dog or something, dude? In the game I played, she let you set the pace and was a formidable, likable and entertaining ally. I hope the next game you play spontaneously manifests five escort missions in a row with allies who gormlessly walk into explosions, get eaten by monsters and make you start the level again and scream the same two lines over and over. Then you can talk about balls and chains.

    I don’t understand all this Alyx hate at all; I adore her.

    At any rate, for a game studio, the Valve guys sure as hell know how to animate a thing.

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  164. JKjoker says:

    @Nano: well, im still preparing myself mentally for Resident Evil 5 PC: the escort mission

    Dude, she takes all decisions, chooses where to go, how to get there, who to kill and what to shoot it with, i didn’t say she felt like a full time escort mission (she doesn’t only because she is in godmode), i mean that it felt like the game was about her and i was just tagging along (in a leash) and i just hate that

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  165. Adventurous Putty says:

    @Gorgeras:

    He’s also a PhD because the people at Valve are massive nerds, and they wanted an excuse to control a theoretical physicist (pointdexter/nerd/geek) who uses a crowbar to beat the living snot out of a bunch of narcissistic, athletic, “All-American” soldiers (jocks).

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  166. Nano says:

    @JKJoker

    Er – but that’s the entirety of the Half-Life series, basically. That’s just the mechanism the devs decided on in order to hand you objectives, hints and facilitate Gordon Freeman’s awesomeness. If it’s not Alyx telling you what you’re meant to do next, it’s Eli Vance or Barney or Isaac Kleiner or Magnusson or the G-Man or some nameless rebel or Odessa Cubbage. Gordon’s a player character, that’s his lot in life. You still get to do all the coolest stuff in the game. I don’t get hatin’ on Alyx specifically for that.

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  167. JKjoker says:

    @Nano, but thats exactly why i hate her, because she is the dev’s tool to kick me around

    one thing is to nudge you in the right direction with a little hint here and there at least giving you the illusion of choice, and another is just openly saying “This game is ON RAILS, suck it!”

    if you get told to destroy a boat in farcry or crysis you can’t reply, but you can choose the direction to approach from, if you use stealth or not, if you snipe everyone or blow everything up with explosives etc, in HF2 ep1&2 Alyx would say “hey, lets blow that up, come though *this* door, take *that* explosive, place it *there*, use the rifle to shoot *that thing*”, i have no choice whatsoever i cant even use different weapons, it has to be “that one” and since she is the one that more often tells me what to do, i hate HER

    the worst of all is that it seems the player is *supposed* to care about the bland token mission-giving character, that makes me want to blow her the hell up even more

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  168. vicx says:

    LB has cracked wide open: “Ma petite chaud fleur,” “My little hot flower.” Hot as in fire? As in pyro!

    How can you argue with that? All those guys saying it was a spy update were right, which means we can never again ignore the clues.

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  169. Nano says:

    @JKJoker

    I still don’t get why it has to be Alyx specifically that you hate. All the characters do that; she just does it most of all because she’s your partner. That isn’t her fault, it’s the devs. It sounds like you just hate Half Life itself or linearity or something. Making Alyx the scapegoat burns me because I think she’s actually a reasonably well-written female character and they just get far too much shit. Do you blow up Barney? Did you blow up the scientists following you in the original?

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  170. Spartan021 says:

    I’m liking that detection computer thing at the beginning. (There’s like hundreds of different alert combinations there.)

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  171. JKjoker says:

    @Nano: she is the one always there to take the hate, but yeah, i accept i dont like HF2 much, too many boring zombie areas and those
    *SPOILER!!!*
    scenes where you lose control and someone gets killed/kidnapped in front of you and you are just screaming, LET ME SHOOT YOU #@$%#@!!
    *END SPOILER*
    were gamebreakers for me, you just can not pull that crap and stay on my good side, its the only plot device i know worse than Dead Space’s (and many others) “unbreakable glass protecting the bad guy while he rants”, i could accept it for something like the game intro (like Prey) but that’s about it

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  172. Nano says:

    @JKJoker:

    Ah. Well, fine then. I disagree on a fairly massive scale about that, but that’s a subjective issue and it’s too damn cold here. Just…could you not blame and persecute the one female character for a device you don’t like? It gives me an uncomfortableness.

    …Man, and all I wanted to say was that Meet the Spy is like the most perfect miniature murder mystery ever. God, Valve, don’t ever stop.

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  173. JKjoker says:

    ok, ill try to hate Valve from now one (but somehow the image appearing in my head is Alyx’s face)

    and yeah, Meet the spy was awesome :P (meet the soldier and sniper were pretty good too, demoman was ok, scout was just average and the heavy sucked)

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  174. Tonic says:

    All this talk of whether or not the pyro is female or such and such proper usage of french is distracting from the absolute best of the short: At the end when the spy is taking out the heavy and the soldier, he times his stabs with the outro theme,.
    Ba! Ba! Ba-da-da-da-dum!
    This point alone probably merits another front page post to the blog.

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  175. Nano says:

    @JKJoker

    Pah. Ingrate. Picture Gabe Newell instead, he’s less pretty. (For the record. I don’t mind being called one, but – I’m not a dude. :D)

    @Tonic

    …You’re absolutely right, and that is awesome.

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  176. Rich_P says:

    I’m liking that detection computer thing at the beginning. (There’s like hundreds of different alert combinations there.)

    I’d love to see the Big Board in a future map. Have the announcer record every word on the board and then, depending on the players’ actions, say them throughout the match. Adlib TF2 style. “A [team] [class] is [verb] a [team] [object].”

    (Reminds me of TFC server admins making vox say stupidly immature stuff throughout the round.)

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  177. D says:

    One of the first little things I immediately noticed and liked would have to be the engineer going “sentry down” in completely believable game-style. Theres so much brilliant charactarization going on in these, I cannot wait for Pyro and Medic .

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  178. D says:

    Also

    ALARM-O-TRON (5000?)

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  179. v.dog says:

    Apparently Valve let slip that the Pyro is female on the blog saying ‘she will be inconsolable’ (it’s now been fixed).

    As for the Spy’s poor French, Valve has never striven for accuracy (listen to the other accents)- in fact it’s somewhat deliberate, and adds to the ‘comic’ feel.

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  180. Rich says:

    Great vid. and I love Valve’s continued teasing about the Pyro’s gender. I don’t think they’ll ever tell us and I’m not even sure if I’d want them to. The prestige is never as fun if you know all about it (I watched the Prestige last night, anyone guess?)

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  181. James G says:

    @JKjoker
    Are you sure that Alyx is immortal? Granted she seems a fair bit tougher than even Gordon “HEV Suit” Freeman, but I could swear I had her gunned down at one point in Nova Prospekt, forcing a reload. (Failed to protect mission critical resources, I think)

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  182. Russ says:

    James G I believe it was “Mission critical personnel”

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  183. Lack_26 says:

    I’ve killed/ had killed Alyx on multiple occasions. I was playing on Hard (and sometimes normal) for most of HL2 + episodes.

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  184. Mejwell says:

    Ever since the “secret” spy update proved to be the one thing out of dozens of outlandish theories that the community got right (and wasn’t even that farfetched, considering the clue in the official source was pretty blatant) everyone and their mother is coming up with the silliest ideas.

    Can’t we just enjoy the video for what it is rather than theorizing that the Spy isn’t actually fluent in French and therefore misconstrued the woman was the Scout’s mother and was ACTUALLY the disrobed Pyro who is a female that speaks Portuguese and wears an American football helmet in the off-season?

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  185. JKjoker says:

    @James G: I have never be able to kill Alyx and i tried, i swear (i think i was playing on normal), it might depend on the version you played, i did have to reload quite a lot for destroying my damn car

    @Lack_26 : tell me your secret :D

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  186. Funky Badger says:

    Still as awesome as I thought yesterday. fantastic. The music for the Red Spy’s motage is wonederful.

    (Alyx is still rubbish, mind)

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  187. Erlam says:

    “@Serenegoose the only reason the community believe the pyro to be female is that on the trading cards it says “no one knows if even he is a man”, valve are just trolling with us and you believe them, here is proof he is male http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0060794/, the pyro is a tf2 version pf deadpool who constantly uses pop cultural references and breaks the 4th wall if no one knew the gender of deadpool would you want that character to be female?”

    http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0004813/
    Riposte!

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  188. psyk says:

    I see so i needed to post nancy’s imbd page to get that point across :)

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  189. EBass says:

    Alyx is immortal to your own fire and extremely resiliniant to enemy damage but not invincible. Shes tough enough to ignore most bullet based weapons, but she can die if she gets mobbed by melee attacking characters. The area with lots of zombines in ep.1 is the only place where thats a serious threat though.

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  190. Thesilverfoxsk says:

    if you know french you’ll understand that he says at the end. ” Mon petit chau-fleur.” Chau-fleur translates derectly to hot flower. In my opinion the scout’s mother is the blue pyro. Chou-fleur is indeed cauliflower, but he doesn’t say chou-fleurs he says chau-fleur.

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  191. CookieCat says:

    No, he took the appearence of his son

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