By Kieron Gillen on June 24th, 2009 at 8:17 pm.
I actually turned the RPS-chaps into Sims 3 characters when I had the preview code, but I’ve been a little behind in getting the full code so I could upload them up to the main servers. You can download all four of us from here. You can totally force us to make out. It’s awesome. Some more details on exactly what you’re downloading beneath the cut. Also repetitive use of the “And In The Game” gag.
Here’s our heroes:
What are they like? Well, I tried to get the best resemblance with the minimum of effort I could. The limited amount of hair in the standard version does somewhat limit what RPS characters look like. Jim comes off worst, looking more like lovely develop-writer Jon Jordan than himself, due to a lack of his particularly scruffy beard and hair. John and myself are worryingly like our real selves, except I’ve got too much hair and John’s a little too far. And here’s our traits, so you can argue about them.
Jim is a lucky workaholic grumpy light-sleeper with a green thumb. He likes Electronica, eating Stu Surprise and the colour green. And in the game!
John is hot-headed, excitable, Over-emotional and friendly. And has good sense of humour. He loves indie rock, Stu Surprise and the colour blue. And in the game!
Alec is a Neurotic, Grumpy, Kleptomaniac Vegetarian who’s also a Computer Whiz. He loves indie-rock, likes to eat Stu Surprise and likes the colour blue. And in the game!
Kieron is a absent-minded, clumsy, insane, easily-impressed slob. He likes indie-rock, Dim sum and the colour black. And in the game!
So, if you ever invite us around to a house, make Stu Surprise to be a bit hit. Ignore me, as I’m mental.
The traits were picked by the RPS-members in question – showing a worrying amount of humility that no-one chose the Genius trait. John thought he should have Childish, but I talked him out of it, as I think that was a little over-critical on himself, and talked him into having the good sense of humour trait. Because, he is The Funny One. Oh – and I didn’t choose my own traits, letting Alec do it instead. I suspect I’d have selected almost all the same ones, except for insane and easily-impressed. Though I can see the argument. I tried to talk him into having mean-spirited, but he sagely noted that wasn’t something he’d say to someone who is going to come and fix someone else’s computer. And from that evidence you can prove whatever side of the argument you choose.
Oh – while Alec, John and Jim all have their bios, I forgot to include mine. I use something like “Kieron Gillen is one quarter of RPS. He’s the one who may be behind you right now, with a mind full of evil thoughts and a handful of razors”. Feel free and cut and paste into your game if you make your own copy.
I’m starting to play a game with them. I’m not exactly sure what we’re going to do with. Perhaps some kind of succession game between the RPS chaps, with each inflicting horrors on each other’s Sims. Either way, if you’ve any Sims content you thing should be included in our little town, do link in the comment thread, and I’ll throw it into the town. As fantastical as you wish. Because it’s a game which, despite the And In The Game-isms, bears no relation to reality.
Look – evidence: Here’s us all in the gym.
That never happens.
24/06/2009 at 20:26 Clovis says:
big pictures get
24/06/2009 at 20:33 Borat says:
don’t worry about men guys, make women cry instead, like this one:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4mtPVKssm4&fmt=22
make sexy time with her, yes ? vnice.
24/06/2009 at 20:35 Amirul B Ruslan says:
And in the game!
24/06/2009 at 20:43 Legionary says:
I’m going to lure each of you sequentially into sexual relationships, then have a party with you all where I break your games-journalist hearts by kissing every one of you whilst the others watch.
And in the game.
24/06/2009 at 20:44 Kadayi says:
Cool I shall download promptly
I’ll also whore some of my funky minimalist lots:-
http://www.thesims3.com/mypage/kadayi/mystudio
I recommend Modern II (60×60), as its a suitably austere 4 bedroom affair with plenty of garden space for Green fingered Jim to go crazy in.
24/06/2009 at 20:45 Serondal says:
This can not end well, or at least I hope it doesn’t.
24/06/2009 at 20:47 Jockie says:
@Legionary, you made me spurt my tea all over the keyboard with a hearty belly laugh there.
The Sims is a game so ripe for abuse.
24/06/2009 at 20:48 Bhazor says:
I seem to be getting less a sitcom feel and more a Silent Hill feel about this.
24/06/2009 at 20:50 Theoban says:
I would use you in my Sims game, except every Sim I’ve ever had has died in a puddle of their own piss, with the sink on fire and crying about the lack of toilets. Even though they live in a veritable toilet jungle.
24/06/2009 at 20:52 CakeAddict says:
“You can totally force us to make out. It’s awesome.”
The fact that you find that awesome makes me wonder about a few things.
Had to laugh a bit at the last screeny where Kieron sim is wearing some rather odd clothes probably because of the insane trait (which I never take again, funny at first but after a while it got annoying)
24/06/2009 at 20:57 Jeremy says:
What is Kieron wearing at the gym? It looks like a leopard print sport jacket.
24/06/2009 at 21:01 Kieron Gillen says:
Jeremy: That’s just how I roll.
KG
24/06/2009 at 21:03 Brother None says:
I’m not so much disturbed by the inevitability of someone making the RPS team members make out – that’s just the nature of the beast – as much as I am by the fact that Kieron seems to be rather actively encouraging people to do so :/
24/06/2009 at 21:08 Kieron Gillen says:
None: It’s either:
1) Reverse psychology
2) Turning inevitability into comedy.
3) Wanton perversity.
KG
24/06/2009 at 21:08 flo says:
@Brother None: That is what he wants you to think … then he’ll sue for virtual rape and improper use of his virtual image or something like that.
24/06/2009 at 21:08 Bhazor says:
Also that chick in the last pic is totally checkin’ Jim out.
Think you’re in there.
24/06/2009 at 21:09 LionsPhil says:
4) All of the above
24/06/2009 at 21:14 Taillefer says:
They’ll be like monkeys in a zoo, no?
24/06/2009 at 21:16 Clovis says:
@Theoban:
Toilets, toilets, every where
and all the Sims did wish
Toilets, toilets, every where
nor any pot to piss
24/06/2009 at 22:29 Philip says:
This, is, amazing.
24/06/2009 at 22:52 Flint says:
I demand The Adventures of Sims-RPS to become a regular feature.
24/06/2009 at 22:59 Pace says:
Eek, John must be better looking than that. Eek.
24/06/2009 at 23:05 Howard says:
Does the link not work for anyone else…? =(
24/06/2009 at 23:09 Man Raised By Puffins says:
You called?
24/06/2009 at 23:11 Kieron Gillen says:
Howard: It didn’t work first time for walker earlier. Worked again a few seconds later.
Puffins: Hero.
KG
24/06/2009 at 23:16 solipsistnation says:
Dear god.
(OKAY EVERYONE, WHO WANTS TO BE THE MEAT IN A KIERON SANDWICH?)
24/06/2009 at 23:28 Karrius says:
Everyone does. That’s who.
24/06/2009 at 23:40 Howard says:
Yea gods your model is spot on, Kieron. Therefore, Puffins: YEA GODS! MY EYES!
24/06/2009 at 23:42 Stupoider says:
@Puffins: CANNOT BE UNSEEN!
24/06/2009 at 23:52 The_B says:
As for stuff we demand included. here are my Left 4 Dead survivors. Feel free to do with them as you wish.
Except maybe a fivesome with Zoey.
…OK, you can do that if you want too.
24/06/2009 at 23:53 Tagert says:
@Bhazor
It actually looks like two girls and a guy are checking him out in that picture. Totally awesome orgy potential there.
24/06/2009 at 23:58 Diogo Ribeiro says:
Awesome. I’m planning on uploading pics of my Sim as soon as I get the game – shouldn’t take much longer :)
25/06/2009 at 00:36 Blast Hardcheese says:
Damnit see now I have to buy this game.
I’m also worried that “and in the game” is going to be used so much you just start adding it to the ends of sentences that have nothing to do with it.
Which would be hi-larious.
25/06/2009 at 00:37 Serondal says:
Blast Hardcheese said “Damnit see now I have to buy this game.
I’m also worried that “and in the game” is going to be used so much you just start adding it to the ends of sentences that have nothing to do with it.
Which would be hi-larious” And in the game
25/06/2009 at 00:49 Frans Coehoorn says:
Alice and Kev would love these guys. I want them to meet the RPS chaps. Which would be awesome and in the game!
Do it! Do it now!
25/06/2009 at 00:57 Dorian Cornelius Jasper says:
Stu Surprise?
25/06/2009 at 00:59 Frans Coehoorn says:
http://sims.wikia.com/wiki/File:Stu_Surprise.jpg
It’s nice. Not very nice, not great, not perfect. Just… nice.
25/06/2009 at 02:24 Moonracer says:
The only thing I can think which should be added to the game is AwesomeMod from MoreAwesomeThanYou.com. Since from my experience the game does awful things without it, like eat your neighbors at random.
25/06/2009 at 10:07 Diogo Ribeiro says:
“Stu Surprise”
Now I can’t get off my head an image of Stuart Campbell saying this before making love >_< GAH!
25/06/2009 at 10:23 Kieron Gillen says:
Diogo: That joke had come to mind, but I decided to side-step it.
KG
25/06/2009 at 10:41 roBurky says:
I think I’ve got Puffins beaten.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/roburky/3658963429/sizes/o/
25/06/2009 at 10:43 Kieron Gillen says:
ALERT! ALERT! WE NEED TO CLOSE THE INTERNET!
KG
25/06/2009 at 11:02 Bukowski The Cat says:
roBurky:
That’s the most wicked thing I’ve seen since goatse :)
25/06/2009 at 11:14 AndrewC says:
So no pictures of Jim gardening or John feeding stray cats then.
25/06/2009 at 11:23 Diogo Ribeiro says:
Kieron: I’m always glad to take one for the team :lol:
25/06/2009 at 11:56 Stuk says:
Haha, this is amazing! Are there really 8 Kierons roBurky, or is there some Photoshop magic going on?
Now I’m tempted to grab The Sims as well…
25/06/2009 at 12:02 Timofee says:
A perfect accompaniment to any town featuring the RPS Hivemind: – Jack Bauer, Chloe OBrien, Tony Almeida and Hadji the Terrorist playing happy families.
http://gb.thesims3.com/assetDetail.html?assetId=372665
Sadly there isn’t an action to ‘Torture for information’ nor do they even use loud whispers on the phone for dramatic effect. A man can dream though…A man can dream…
25/06/2009 at 15:24 BigDangDude says:
http://fermun.blogspot.com/
25/06/2009 at 17:51 Man Raised By Puffins says:
@ roBurky: Touché. I was thinking of retorting with a 32 Gillen dance party/orgy, but merely having 8 in a room together sends my frame-rates crashing. It’s almost like my PC was trying to tell me something.
25/06/2009 at 19:18 LionsPhil says:
Argh. The dedication of you guys to simulating an actualisation of Kieron’s self-love is…impressive?
25/06/2009 at 19:58 roBurky says:
I think I might just start a game with every house in town occupied by Kieron Gillens, and then play it properly.
25/06/2009 at 21:09 Man Raised By Puffins says:
By the way, I’ve uploaded separate houses of RPS clones (Gillen, Walker, Meer, Rossignol) to save anyone else the faff of putting them together should they wish to continue the depravity.
26/06/2009 at 08:28 Psychopomp says:
I guess this is a good time to admit it.
I know a person who will draw *anything* for thirty dollars, and she’s not half bad at it either. I brought her up in a RPS chatroom conversation, a couple peopl expressed interest so I invited her in.
Turned out a fair number of us wanted her to draw RPS rule 34. For the lulz, of course.
However, we were all broke, but don’t feel safe yet.
YOUR
DAY
WILL
COME
26/06/2009 at 18:31 Mr. Brand says:
@roBurky:
Gillen Gillen? Gillen. Gillen Gillen Gillen.
26/06/2009 at 18:42 Mr_Day says:
I see the many Kierons, and imagine The Matrix made by RPS:
“Mr Anderson – how will you make a phonecall, with my tongue in your mouth?”
“No one has ever remained un-raped by an agent. If you see one, it is best to lie down, relax, and let it happen.”
“No one can be told what the matrix is..”
“Is it a place where Kierenclones rape you?”
“Oh. I guess you can be told what it is.”