By Kieron Gillen on July 7th, 2009 at 10:32 pm.
Yengwa forwarded E4′s Steamshovel Harry claiming it’s hilarious and genius. He’s a wind-up merchant and so are Steamshovel Harry’s developers. That said, there’s a few things here I’d love to see a developer totally rip off. Gears of War with the Vocoder-treated briefing vocals would be amazing.
07/07/2009 at 22:39 zombiehunter says:
What the HELL?
i tried that link… well i tried to ‘play’ that game… heh… 10 minutes of non skippable introduction ? this. is. bullshit.
07/07/2009 at 22:43 Petethegoat says:
I started playing this about ten minutes ago, and the introduction is not yet finished. I am shocked and appalled.
Still, at least it’s in a browser, or it would probably have Assassin’s Creed-esque quitting.
07/07/2009 at 22:48 PaulMorel says:
F-ing win.
Hilarious.
I was unaware of the first one, but I will have to “play” it.
07/07/2009 at 22:48 Dominic White says:
For those of you in the intro, please do yourself a favour and have the sound turned up. It’s hilarious, and if you’re complaining about that, then you HAVE NO SOUL.
07/07/2009 at 22:52 Stupoider says:
Haha, that was great. xD Thank you very much.
07/07/2009 at 22:53 yhancik says:
I have to disagree, Kieron; this sounds more like Autotune than Vocoder :p
07/07/2009 at 22:57 postmanX3 says:
Oh god, that was hilarious.
07/07/2009 at 23:02 Bret says:
BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
That is all.
07/07/2009 at 23:02 bob arctor says:
I got the joke but it wasn’t that funny. Not to merit the slowness.
07/07/2009 at 23:03 MrBejeebus says:
DAMN THIS INTRO
the music is fun though
07/07/2009 at 23:09 Fat says:
I didn’t get ”the joke”, if there even was one.
The music and such was funny at times i guess, but the fact that it drags for so long made it less funny, specially when i died in the first second off that rocket.
But again, that might be because ”the joke” was lost on me. :/
07/07/2009 at 23:16 Larington says:
LOL, long build up to the joke, but worth it I’d say.
07/07/2009 at 23:16 Larington says:
The main joke that is, the music is comical as well.
07/07/2009 at 23:22 Bret says:
Physics is going to kill you. With a gun.
Anyone else have trouble with level seven?
The addition of a buddy drawn from your saves on the hard drive made this sort of thing less hard back on level four, but now that Jonlan sent the assistant to rescue the legendary Spider King…
I’m stuck. Still fun, but I am really glad I took notes on the tutorial.
07/07/2009 at 23:26 Noc says:
. . . yeah, I checked it out, sat through ten minutes of the sort of tutorial information that could easily have been relayed while I was playing the game and gave up, gameplay unreached.
So yeah.
07/07/2009 at 23:30 Bret says:
Keep going.
Trust me, level three alone makes up for it.
And level four makes level three look like a big stinky pile of poop.
07/07/2009 at 23:30 marvelza says:
waste of 10 min of my life…closed window before end
07/07/2009 at 23:35 Wirbelwind says:
Was reading my RSS feeds during the stupid tutorial videos but eventually the music annoyed me so I quit around Physics 103.
No thanks.
07/07/2009 at 23:45 Man Raised By Puffins says:
@ Bret: The jet-pack controls are just a bit too finicky I found. The clipping issues on the Space Dragon in level 9 are likewise unforgiveable.
Also, make sure you pick the Man Handy. It’s 100 credits more than the Handu Manny but it’s worth every penny against those bastard P.A.M. Veterans.
07/07/2009 at 23:53 Hidden_7 says:
So it’s not just me having trouble with the Space Dragons then? I just cannot get past them, is there something I’m missing?
07/07/2009 at 23:57 Mastrix says:
Anyone who hasn’t listened to Brad Sucks music should do themselves a favor and do so (he did the music for this game but he’s more of a serious musician than what’s on this.)
07/07/2009 at 23:59 Bret says:
Well, they can’t be killed, obviously, but dealing with one in a tricky side corridor on level five made me realize the clipping is intentional. The things are holograms!
Which means you just need to destroy the projector. That help?
(Go past level seven finally, and I gotta say, if you know the trick to the dragons the game gets easier till level ten. And the big finale is excellent. Of course, the new EX button on the main menu still beckons…)
08/07/2009 at 00:07 Patrick says:
Man, level five! I gotta say, if navigating in zero-G is going to be as much fun in real life, take me up there tomorrow.
The best I could do on the middle section of level 8 was to save five of the spider-kings legs, anyone know how to push it up to the full set?
08/07/2009 at 00:08 Bret says:
I wouldn’t say that.
I mean, the handu manny seems like a good deal when you first see it, and the vets don’t show in force until mission 4.
08/07/2009 at 00:14 gulag says:
Pirate Defense has a better song and a skippable tutorial. Nuff said.
http://armorgames.com/play/3593/pirate-defense
08/07/2009 at 00:22 Bret says:
Does pirate defense have a shotgun duel with about twenty combatants and the best zero G physics known to man?
A duel avoidable through a nearly perfect diplomacy screen, no less?
08/07/2009 at 00:30 Jim says:
The ENTIRE POINT of the game is that it’s a tutorial! There is no game! If the tutorial was skippable there wouldn’t be anything there, for christ’s fucking sake!
Argh. ARGH.
08/07/2009 at 00:31 gulag says:
I’m sorry, you lost me at unskippable (long-winded, asinine, irritating) tutorial.
08/07/2009 at 00:32 solipsistnation says:
Everything sounds better autotuned.
08/07/2009 at 00:33 gulag says:
Ahh, so it is just a waste of my time. No thanks, I’ll go play some real games instead.
‘Burn The Rope’ it ain’t.
08/07/2009 at 00:33 Bret says:
Wait.
You never got past the tutorial, Jim?
Man, I knew some people were bad at games, but…
08/07/2009 at 00:34 sbs says:
tutorial is horrible, and annoying, and fucking awful.
08/07/2009 at 00:36 gulag says:
My bad. I just dug up a walk-through over at gamefaq. It seems that you *can* skip the tutorial and go straight to the game. It seems you just hold down the Alt key and hit F4.
08/07/2009 at 00:37 sbs says:
okaz, after the shop, and then the enemz turorial, and now the anthem, i am beginning to suspect some kind of sick sick joke behind this
08/07/2009 at 00:39 sbs says:
wee i was right
worst post ever Kieron
08/07/2009 at 01:04 Filipe says:
Between the people who don’t get the joke, and the people perpetuating it, this comment thread is pretty damn hilarious. It’s more entertaining than the game.
08/07/2009 at 01:20 Lambo says:
Choosing to romance the Spider King works out exactly how you think it would. Seeing Harry making out with a giant fricken spider is not pleasant. The free upgrades you get from the relationship are kinda cool though…
08/07/2009 at 01:23 Matzerath says:
The Earth Anthem was worth all of it.
And, of course, the game rocks. As for you impatient types: You NEED the in-depth tutorial! You ain’t getting through this game without a fundamental understanding of physics! No way!!!
08/07/2009 at 01:28 srsly? says:
great troll thread, A+, etc…
this shit belongs on SA or /b/, not RPS.
08/07/2009 at 01:42 Flyboy says:
God, when they say the spiderking’s jaws can dissolve EVERYTHING they mean it.
08/07/2009 at 01:53 Bhazor says:
Got the joke in the intro. Totally not worth it. It was overly long, poorly written, repetitive and low quality without the clever Cactus/Death Set esque Lo-fi Vocoder pizazz.
Doubly annoying is the game itself has a load of nifty ideas like throwing down to double jump. Very irritating but I’ll still keep an eye on the developers.
08/07/2009 at 01:58 FernandoDANTE says:
When does this become a GAME?
08/07/2009 at 01:58 moyogo says:
I can’t stop laughing. Be sure you sidestep the explosion with ctrl+alt+dlt and closing your browser :)
08/07/2009 at 02:20 PleasingFungus says:
So wonderful. Excellently done, everyone giving hints in this thread – they really helped me. Just gotta say – whatever you do, don’t go with the Polarizer Shield! It may seem like a better deal at first, but it’ll really bite you in the butt when you’re dealing with the Strong-Bots.
08/07/2009 at 02:27 joe says:
Ugh. Annoying. Gravity’s going to kill you was the best part, and it wasn’t very good.
08/07/2009 at 02:34 FernandoDANTE says:
Oh, so IT’S NOT A GAME? Thanks for wasting my time. It stopped being funny when it started to become annoying.
08/07/2009 at 02:34 Dracko says:
This joke forgot to be funny, let alone engaging.
08/07/2009 at 02:35 Bret says:
Man, the Strong-Bots…
Seriously, the Polarizer isn’t important for that bit if you approach with tact. The conversations you overhear if you’re careful…
Funniest part of the whole game. And that’s saying something.
08/07/2009 at 02:49 Nerd Rage says:
Asteroids are smaller than planets
Asteroids are larger than meteorites
Truer words have never been spoken.
08/07/2009 at 03:30 Flyboy says:
The reason this is so funny is because I was utterly pumped up to play it, I mean RPS had it… I died a little inside. This game is kind of like free will.
08/07/2009 at 03:43 Bret says:
(To be fair, Kieron did tell the truth in the post. Not his fault some of us didn’t know what a wind up merchant was.)
08/07/2009 at 04:41 Mo says:
GOTY 2009? I think so!!
08/07/2009 at 05:40 Tim James says:
The main delay theme reminds me of Sealab 2021′s Grizzlebees episode.
08/07/2009 at 07:55 TCM says:
Game of the Hour.
The hour being 2:00 AM, thanks for curing my insomnia!
>_>
:P
I kid. It’s hilarious. Well, not really. But it kind of made me chuckle.
The Spider King will give me nightmares now, thanks.
08/07/2009 at 07:58 fuggles says:
Thanks for that.
08/07/2009 at 09:24 Mihai says:
All hail Spider King!
08/07/2009 at 09:58 Jayteh says:
IIIIIIIIINTRO
08/07/2009 at 10:00 Jayteh says:
This game would be 100x better if it taught you as you played using intuitive gameplay rather then the fucking brickface of a tutorial.
08/07/2009 at 10:02 Jayteh says:
and if there was a game.
08/07/2009 at 10:06 mister k says:
I might have liked that more if the music hadn’t been quite as obnoxious, and the jokes less obvious. It wasn’t the stupidest idea ever, but the execution was poor.
08/07/2009 at 11:00 Jocho says:
Without spoiling too much, let’s just say this game is a comment to certain game-flaws.
Myself, I found it really funny from the national anthem and forwards. Its way to mention the state of earth combined with being totally unexpected (but in this case should be) made some big laughs from my side.
And the ending might feel a bit far-fetched initially, but it connects to the whole experience really well when it clicks.
08/07/2009 at 11:20 Rei Onryou says:
In that 10 minutes, I could have done something useful. Like kick a puppy. I am not amused.
08/07/2009 at 11:32 Zetetic Elench says:
I’m so confused. What about “wind-up merchant” did you moderately-perturbed internet men not get?
08/07/2009 at 12:00 Frank Snow says:
This is great. I enjoy the angry comments of those who have not quite cottoned on as much as the game.
08/07/2009 at 12:11 Reverend Speed says:
Hee hee hee.
08/07/2009 at 12:35 Franky Boy Larry says:
Ah, I love the fact that so many people in this thread are failing to get the joke. Turn off your internets, take a walk, clear your head and realise it’s not a game – it’s a genius device to suck 15minutes of life from your soul.
Love it and the music.
08/07/2009 at 12:35 Quasar says:
I was laughing like hell towards the end of this. I’d worked out what was going on after a few minutes, but the music kept me going til the end.
Not much replay value really, but at least the game comes to a satisfactory conclusion.
08/07/2009 at 14:41 mrrobsa says:
Hilarious, this had me chuckling right through, the vocals and ‘one last thing before you go’ tickled me pink.
And when I discovered Steamshovel Harry was the Spider Prince! What a narrative haymaker!
08/07/2009 at 15:06 James says:
Needs more manticore.
08/07/2009 at 18:59 cowthief skank says:
Haha, I didn’t play it but had pretty much got the idea from the first comment. The comments on here have brightened up my week no end.
08/07/2009 at 20:59 Yengwa says:
I thought it was hilarious. I pretty much knew what was going on after a minute or too. The music was awesome (I’m a fan of Brad Sucks) and hilarious. I love the way it pissed people off, and how the game has a rating of 33% on the site because most people are too impatient to really understand what is going on.
08/07/2009 at 22:01 Psychopomp says:
I’m amazed at how so many people manage to miss the point.
08/07/2009 at 22:02 Psychopomp says:
Example:”This game would be 100x better if it taught you as you played using intuitive gameplay rather then the fucking brickface of a tutorial.”
THAT’S THE JOKE
08/07/2009 at 23:45 maicon says:
the music is hilarous.
09/07/2009 at 03:13 Dorian Cornelius Jasper says:
“I wanna make love to physics”
09/07/2009 at 04:30 blarghhh says:
Thank you, this made things feel slightly better
09/07/2009 at 08:27 Hmm-Hmm. says:
Very funny. It helps that I expected something like this.
09/07/2009 at 10:55 Muzman says:
It’s interesting that traditionally it is usually you watching the lead character in some comedy being subjected to the maddening interminable thing.
But here it’s you and it’s still funny..
I like the way it sounds like the music is being played in live from somewhere and the musician seems to get bored and just starts riffing. That and the horridly camp sun.
(frankly I thought the Clippy gag was one too many, but you know, critic hat’s there to be worn)
09/07/2009 at 14:19 Franky Boy Larry says:
They’ve put the theme tune on the page now:
http://www.e4.com/games/swf/steamshovel-harry/Steamshovel-Harry-theme-by-Brad-Sucks.mp3
and are using quotes taken from this thread!
http://www.e4.com/game/steamshovel-harry/review.e4
09/07/2009 at 16:37 Jayteh says:
I still fail to see the humour in this. I hope the dev swallows a knife.
09/07/2009 at 18:22 Bret says:
They chose to misquote me in the review?
This is the greatest day of my life.
25/07/2009 at 10:41 B says:
Elaborate troll is elaborate.
29/08/2010 at 01:45 riddik says:
Like James said… It needs more manticore, no exceptions!
21/07/2011 at 12:54 lemonlime says:
Why does everyone complain about the intro? Are you so blind that you cannot see the fast-forward button? I mean, really.