By The Monster That Killed Kieron on October 4th, 2009 at 11:17 am.
Hullo. Feeling a little gassy today, which is no fun whatsoever. But I suppose I did eat Kieron in such a horrific rush. I’ve only myself to blame, as my dear departed mother would say. Well, myself and the deal she made with dark powers to warp my form. Still, I did eat her first. Anyway! I’ve decided to blog this turn-based strategy game (See – The Ye Olde Games Journalist book gives me all the lingo), not because of any merits, but because I found the e-mail its creator Craig Stern of Sinister Designs sent along with it. You can get the demo or buy the full version from here and see the letter (plus footage) below.
1. It’s a turn-based tactics game with no randomness. It’s like a tropical vacation for the shell-shocked Blood Bowl veteran.
2. It’s newsworthy! At least, these guys thought so: GamersHell, RPGWatch, Inside Mac Games, LinuxGames. Four whole gaming news sites can’t be wrong!
3. It’s simple to learn and hard to master. (That’s good, right? I remember someone saying that that was good.)
4. You can recruit floating cannonballs with eyes and mouths as troops.
5. Your men will complain about you wanting to go through the whole tournament, and will ask you for a vacation.
6. The Meat Market will sell you slaves at their everyday low prices.
7. If you don’t have balls, it’s okay, because you can win them during the course of the game.
8. Alternatively, you can play as a girl, in which case it’s also okay to not have balls.
9. You fight against teams with names like The Flailing Chickens and The Big Fluffy Bunnies.
10. The game was made by one guy while he was finishing up law school and studying for the Bar exam. (I don’t know why I’m referring to myself in the third person here.)
But more importantly than all that,
11. Your mother would be proud of you. (I’m, like, 50% certain of that one.)
Well, there you’ll be wrong, Craig. Anyway, here’s a little footage…
This perspective reminds me of how my prey look when I’m at the apex of my great attack leap. And… oh, I really am feeling very nauseous. I’m going to stop the post now, and head off for a nice lie down. Toodles!