Demolition Sim Demo Demolished

A typical Sunday morning in the Stone household: get up, shake fist at sky, consume breakfast of tea, toast and marmalade, go out and destroy a church. Thanks to the
Spreng- Und Abriss- Sim demo, I can now undertake that last activity without leaving the house!

Astragon, German purveyors of all things simmy and mundane, have followed thrill-shunning oddities like Dustcart Simulator 2008 and Forklift Simulator 2009 with a demolition sim featuring explosives and five types of masonry-mutilating plant. The bash-a-church trial only lets you fiddle with a couple of bulldozers and a JCB fitted with a pneumatic brick pummeller. To get your mitts on the dynamite and the wrecking ball dangler, you must pay.

Which I can’t see myself doing, unless there’s a MegaRealism patch in the offing. Like Digger Simulator,  Spreng- Und Abriss- Simulator appears to be an appealing idea undermined by flaky physics and crudely-modelled machines. I don’t know much about engineering or architecture but I do know that a churchtower missing several entire courses of bricks at its base is more likely to topple than hover. Fred Dibnah would be spinning in his grave.

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  1. TooNu says:

    All I will say is that some people no longer need feel ashamed of playing with their Tonka toys into their 40’s. Thank heaven for games like this, helping people 1 step at a time.

  2. Jonas says:

    I must admit most of the German sims you post about leave me wondering what sort of person finds entertainment in the activity they simulate, but I can definitely see the appeal of this one. Construct your own building… then bulldoze it! Pretty good idea. Too bad about the physics system.

  3. Garg says:

    The sound effects in that trailer were awful.

  4. mrrobsa says:

    Aw man! I don’t wanna have to clean up the rubble once I’m done demolishing! Can’t we leave that for the Construction Site Clean-up Kru Simulator 2009 fans?

  5. Ed says:

    … also known as Red Faction Guerilla, with the aplomb, or the challenge-your-mates-to-blow-the-crap-out-of-stuff mode.

    Seriously though, these guys should watch that TV show The Detonators.

    • edwardoka says:

      Curse the lack of a logged-out edit mode. It should clearly say without the aplomb, natch.

  6. Tei says:

    It looks like “Clean You Room Simulator” and “Michael Bay: Demolition Expert :The Movie: The Game” have a childrens. It looks half totally boring, half totally awesome.

  7. squidlarkin says:

    Psh. It’s no Blast Corps.

  8. Suman1083 says:

    I am not going to lie, I love these strange simulation games and the YouTube post at the bottom just got me more pumped!

  9. Smi says:

    Cor, that was a fascinating insight into the demolition industry. Somewhat questionable physics, when I had removed all but a thin slither of tower, yet it remained standing. Not exactly what I’d call fun.

    It’s confusing why GAME stocks Crane Simulator, though – is there a market for that in this country?

    • TeeJay says:

      A market for rubbish high street chains? There must be: Dixons, Currys, PC World, GAME, etc

    • James G says:

      I had a conversation with a few of the guys in GAME once, trying to find out how their stock is decided. Predictably it is on a list that comes down for head office, the staff are as bemused as I am at some of the choices. Its not just a matter of ignoring quality, or even of favouring titles which are likely to attract otherwise clueless shoppers, instead though they miss out fairly decent triple-A titles, in favour of dodgy games with what was always going to be niche appeal. It doesn’t seem to make much sense to be, even from a strict business perspective.

  10. Hi!! says:

    For next week: link to

  11. Paul says:

    I can’t get my 5 year old off the PC now. He is being surprisingly tidy, bulldozing all the rubble neatly to the edge.

  12. pepper says:

    It’s amazing how clunky it is, they should have used the amazings kran-simulator 2009 engine! Which is a shame, since i love demolishing stuff.

  13. Idle Threats and Bad Poetry says:

    In the tutorial of the demo, it lets you try out dynamite. First, it goes to a puny wall. But the observant will notice the huge brick tower next to it! I had fun trying to get the tower to collapse on its side as the arrow on the ground indicates.

  14. Hodge says:

    Extra credit for the charmingly inappropriate ’80s educational science video’ music.