By Kieron Gillen on November 12th, 2009 at 11:10 am.
Who can tell? But Lord British has given his blessing, apparently. As picked up via Game Set Watch who picked it up from Armchair Arcade. Italian photographer Enrico Ricciardi has created an Ultima-themed calender, showcasing the 12 virtues. Which sounds like a euphemism, if I’ve ever heard one. Anyway, skimming through the images, it seems like it’s probably one for the Witcher fans. Oh yeah. I went there. Oh yes – ladies and/or gay men! You’re not left out. You’re just – er – marginalised. Check out Courage, eh? Pwoooar! (Are you sure? – Ed).
12/11/2009 at 11:14 poop says:
something about how all the magic powers and stuff are poorly photoshopped on makes this really creepy.
i mean creepier
12/11/2009 at 11:14 duel says:
haha, this is very tenuously linked to being PC gaming news. But i don’t mind caus it made me laugh anyway, there’s just something about fantasy photography that I find so funny :D
12/11/2009 at 11:15 Inigo says:
I imagine it would be something along the lines of “Name”, “Job” and “Bye”.
12/11/2009 at 11:22 Dr.Danger says:
But, but, but …. there is only 8 virtues in Ultima world. Truth, Love and Courage are Principles that form the virtues. Plus their virtues are wrong as well. Ts ts ts …
12/11/2009 at 11:23 Kieron Gillen says:
Danger: I knew something felt amiss.
KG
12/11/2009 at 11:31 Muzman says:
At first glance I thought “They’re making a sequel to Barbarian?”
12/11/2009 at 12:17 MacBeth says:
As they say in Internet-land… this ^^
12/11/2009 at 11:31 CMaster says:
The fact pretty much everything, even the fantasy-esque clothing is photoshopped on makes the whole thing look rather disturbing.
12/11/2009 at 11:36 Tei says:
@Cecilia.
If you are reading this.
Can we be friends?
Thats all.
Thanks.
12/11/2009 at 11:46 Broken says:
Can see these making their way to some Evony ads.
12/11/2009 at 12:00 stahlwerk says:
I don’t want to disrespect all involved, and I sincerely hope they had as much fun making these, as I had when looking at them. Yes, I had to laugh. The pictures stumble along the fine line between “OMG! Dragons! Wee!” and photoshop disaster. A visual fanfic, so to speak.
But the Avatar, he abides…
12/11/2009 at 12:10 Arsewisely says:
I like January’s metal detecting bard.
12/11/2009 at 12:13 Gundrea says:
I didn’t know the virtues were all scantily men and women. I could have sworn they had a more metaphysical existence. Maybe a replay of Ultima IV is in order.
12/11/2009 at 12:18 MacBeth says:
Photoshop worker needs to reconsider his attitude to what a female leg should ideally look like
12/11/2009 at 15:51 Bhazor says:
I guess these were altered to reflect the in game/box art dimensions and it really goes to show how the average game designer has no idea what women actually look like. Same with manga.
12/11/2009 at 12:20 Owen says:
Aaah Barbarian. Happy times.
12/11/2009 at 12:21 Owen says:
Although no Barbarian lass would have such weedy thighs.
12/11/2009 at 12:26 dishwasherlove says:
I guess I’m just happy that someone cares about Ultima in 2009.
12/11/2009 at 12:32 Turin Turambar says:
Please, The Witcher has much more style than this poor’s man Barbarian/Conan ripoff.
12/11/2009 at 12:58 Radiant says:
A phenomenal collection of 80′s women.
Like an alternate universe Alexander O’Neil video.
What ever happened to Maria Whittaker anyway?
12/11/2009 at 13:10 Radiant says:
Apparently she married the Rebel MC!
What the shit??
12/11/2009 at 13:28 Kieron Gillen says:
Radiant: Fucking hell!
KG
12/11/2009 at 15:14 Antsy says:
Now I have Street Tough stuck in my head. Thanks a lot :S
12/11/2009 at 13:09 TheFanciestofPants says:
I dunno, I think the half-baked, super-ironically-generic fantasy vibe these photos have mesh very well with Ultima in general.
*prepares to duck knives*
13/11/2009 at 04:41 EaterOfCheese says:
“Followers, attack!”
*Iolo loads triple crossbow*
“Vultures will pick thy bones!”
….
…….
……….
“Iolo.”
“Yes, Avatar?”
“Look over here.”
“Yes, Avatar.”
“What do you see?”
“Well, Avatar, I uh-”
“It’s Shamino. He’s dead.”
“Oh yes, I see. Curses! Well, we’ll have to get him resurrected then.”
“Yes Iolo, I intend to.”
….
“Iolo, how why does Shamino have three magic crossbow bolts in his back?”
“By the virtues!”
“Whut? That’s not an answer Iolo. You’re supposed to be a master of archery.”
“Try those on a locked chest or door.”
“HEY!”
“I’m hungry.”
“IOLO!!!”
“I cannot help thee with that.”
12/11/2009 at 13:35 DukeOFprunes says:
The Avatar would say “right on” because they don’t recognize “Lust” or “Objectifying Women” or even “Porn” as vices in avatarland/Brittania.
12/11/2009 at 13:53 Richard Beer says:
This is absolutely hilarious. Whoever created this must be in some kind of 80s gamer timewarp.
And what are they using to touch these up, Deluxe Paint?
12/11/2009 at 16:53 Psychopomp says:
We can only hope.
13/11/2009 at 09:42 Tei says:
Deluxe Paint is one of the best graphic programs *ever*.
Nowdays the most graphic popular tools are the such like Photoshop and Gimp, that are not drawing oriented, and not pixel touching oriented, are photo-touching software.
Wen you think about it, is a bit sad. But not everyone have the skills to draw stuff, or the imagination for pixel painting, so It make sense that Photoshop is the one popular tool, and not Deluxe Paint. I am sure theres a alternate universe where everyone has drawing and pixel painting skills, and Deluxe Paint is king, while Photoshop is unknom.
12/11/2009 at 16:13 Baris says:
Wow, are those real people? They all look so fake!
Except Allessandra Sorcinelli, she’s hot.
12/11/2009 at 17:41 Okami says:
Wait. Twelve virtues? I only remember eight….
12/11/2009 at 18:11 simplicio says:
Wait, did they just take nude models and ‘shop ren faire clothes on? And in the case of the dude, a new head and arms?
12/11/2009 at 18:13 simplicio says:
Also, Jeanene Fox: Tiptoe Warrior.
12/11/2009 at 19:15 Vogue says:
How delightfully tacky! Ordered 12.
12/11/2009 at 19:18 Railick says:
The Avatar would not be pleased with this I suspect. (Lord British is NOT the Avatar that is made clear in Ultima IV He is incapable providing a good example to his people and needs a random stranger from another world to do that for him. Now we know why! )
Also this is my 999th post !
12/11/2009 at 20:28 mujadaddy says:
OF COURSE Lord British isn’t the Avatar!
*I* AM.
12/11/2009 at 20:45 Railick says:
There are only 8 virtues but there are also 3 principles. So if they add Truth Love and Courage along with Honesty, Compassion, Justice, Valor, Humility, Spirituality, Sacrifice, and Honor that would make 12 :)
Also the reason I said Lord British isn't the Avatar is because he gave his blessing and the question was what would the Avatar say. I think he would disapprove personally but that's just me.
12/11/2009 at 21:49 Radiant says:
It’s weird that fantasy imagery is now stuck in the mid 80′s.
Maybe it’s to do with the age of the people involved: readers, writers and artists?
If you look at something like Bayonetta where they made a concerted effort to modernise fantasy the lead character is a milfy Tina Fey look alike.
Neo Nerd Fantasy?
It’d be interesting to see Funcom’s Secret World take on it.
12/11/2009 at 22:23 SleepyMatt says:
Gives you a reason to stand up for Honour and Justice though, eh?
12/11/2009 at 22:34 Railick says:
Behave SleepMatt ;)
12/11/2009 at 23:39 Magnus says:
At first I thought this might be something good, perhaps in some way heralding a return of classic Ultima games!
Now my eyes are bleeding from such photoshop abominations.
Surely Britannia is in peril if such things see the light of day!
13/11/2009 at 04:43 EaterOfCheese says:
Britannia is lost :(
I’d love a new Ultima, though.
13/11/2009 at 00:03 Spacewalk says:
I was expecting a link to a power metal website but oh well.
13/11/2009 at 03:35 Ale Frassetti says:
Damn, a catalogue of showgirls/wannabe actresses who roam italian television. The worst part of italian television.
Even over there you know WHO I am talking about.
13/11/2009 at 16:59 Railick says:
I actually quite like this calendar :P