A Self-Serving PC Gaming Wish-List

By Alec Meer on February 26th, 2010 at 11:55 am.

It’s my birthday. I want these things.

- A proper X-COM sequel – not one of those clunky unofficial ones or an open source remake.
- A Transformers MMO
- Dungeon Keeper 3
- The Half-Life 2 RTS to go full-blown
- Bioshock 1 recreated with Bioshock 2′s engine/combat systems (and a better ending, of course)
- The Elder Scrolls V, but even weirder than Morrowind and with no returning Oblivion writers or actors
- Eyezmaze, the guy behind the ever-charming Grow games, to step up to major development and make something huge, strange and spectacular
- King’s Bounty 2, with no recycled content
- Mass Effect 3, right now
- Steam’s offline mode to work perfectly
- Aliens Vs Predator Vs Harry Potter
- Some sort of hypno-therapy that makes me incredible at Starcraft 2 overnight
- To never see or hear the phrase “dumbed-down” again
- My two front teeth

KTHXBYE

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197 Comments »

  1. Robin says:

    >A proper X-COM sequel

    This.

  2. lhzr says:

    oh noes, what happened to your front teeth?

    also happy bday, if it’s actually today.

  3. Osmosisch says:

    Bioshock 2 recreated with Bioshock 2’s engine/combat systems eh?

  4. Forceflow says:

    Now which Bioshock do you want recreated, mister Meer?

  5. Ginger Yellow says:

    All those, plus:

    HL2: Ep3
    Company of Heroes 2 – March to Moscow

  6. Rage McDougal says:

    - Bioshock 2 recreated with Bioshock 2’s engine/combat systems (and a better ending)

    Typo? I assume it’s meant to be Bioshock 1.

  7. AndrewC says:

    You’ll be wanting to edit your article to include the deaths of those that point out your mistakes.

  8. Triangulon says:

    > Transformers MMO

    This.

    Surely everyone dreams of creating their own transformer?

  9. derella says:

    Oh god, I would love the Elder Scrolls V you described. Instead, we’re going to end up with a TES MMO… /cry

  10. Jonas says:

    To never see or hear the phrase “dumbed-down” again

    Oh yes one of these for me as well please!

  11. Gareth says:

    I’d say Dungeon Keeper 3 is the one I’d kill for. Almost literally, but not quite =)

  12. dragon_hunter21 says:

    “Bioshock 2 recreated with Bioshock 2’s engine/combat systems (and a better ending)”

    • dragon_hunter21 says:

      Ah, crappit. Forgot the rest of my message. These mornings, I’m telling you.

      Anyway, yeah, unless m tiredness missed the logic there, it seems that Mr. Meer is a bit tired.

  13. Chris says:

    > Bioshock 2 recreated with Bioshock 2’s engine/combat systems (and a better ending)

    Bioshock 1?

  14. Alec Meer says:

    The Bioshock typo’s changed now! Shuddup, right!

  15. Risingson says:

    Happy Birthday! And may your wishes be fulfilled!

  16. Chris says:

    Sorry, only saw the 1st comment, posting lag fail. And happy birthday, of course!

    > Mass Effect 3, right now

    Nooooooo! I’ve only just got my life back after the last 50 hour Shep-a-thon!

  17. the_fanciest_of_pants says:

    I agree with this wishlist. Apart from caring at all about starcraft 2.

    Oh and fat chance with bethesda dropping those goddamn voice actors. Those bastards hold on to EVERYONE.. What they really need to get rid of is their bloody animators.

    Mark my words, TES V’s jumping animation will be as sub-par as any previous bethesda game!

    • derella says:

      Not to mention their walking animation…

    • Jesse says:

      Nevertheless, a new Elder Scrolls with more Morrowind and no f*ing Oblivion in it would rule the world.

      Please please please! I still play Morrowind now and then. There’s nothing quite like it. So obviously, for the sequel, they decided to go more generic. Makes sense! Bad sense!

      Thanks Alec! Happy birthday!

    • Okami says:

      Everybody knows that all animations of all Bethesda games are beeing made by the CEO’s nephew and that’s never going to change…

  18. Memphis-Ahn says:

    I would most definitely kill for this.
    Instead, Molyneux is playing with little children and fables.
    And EA is sitting on their ass with that property, along with the System Shock one.

  19. Auspex says:

    This is just a dumbed-down version of my own birthday list.

  20. Gareth says:

    the_fanciest_of_pants said:
    Mark my words, TES V’s jumping animation will be as sub-par as any previous bethesda game!

    Oooh, but I live for going into third person and admiring the floating =)

  21. Legal Steroids says:

    well worth the read.I found it very informative as I have been researching a lot lately on practical matters such as you talk about…

  22. DeliriumWartner says:

    Happy birthday Alec. That is all.

  23. Brumisator says:

    That’s a pretty dumbed down list.

    >:D

  24. Gareth says:

    Anonymous Coward said:
    I would most definitely kill for this.
    Instead, Molyneux is playing with little children and fables.
    And EA is sitting on their ass with that property, along with the System Shock one.

    Thought it might have been a reply to me =) Bullfrog being dead still makes me sad; DK was just one of the games they made that I’d love to have seen a sequel for. Ideas like Milo really make me cringe in comparison; I just… don’t see the point. At all. Now he’s set up as the head of Microsoft Game Studios though, I doubt that there’s any way it would happen with him at the helm.
    Oh, and happy birthday Alec =)

  25. tba says:

    Its my birthday too! We have so much in common, we should be friends! Then I can play all the games you are getting!

  26. AbyssUK says:

    XCOM can never be remade, gaming will never be that good again… oh happy birthday :P

  27. Tom OBedlam says:

    Everytime I read Alec’s wishlists or similar I get concerned that he’s me, from the FUTURE!

  28. alseT says:

    Happy birthday . And I fully endorse this list.

  29. froibo says:

    Congratulations on making another revolution around the sun. Your list is amazing especially the x-com and dungeon keeper requests.

  30. James G says:

    Happy Birthday Mr. Meer.

    A good list, and one I’d happily second several of the items on.

    Dungeon Keeper 3: Oh very much so. I absolutely adored the first game, and although I’d be hardpressed to identify its failings, the second never quite grabbed me in the same way. Not sure who I’d give it to however.

    Mass Effect 3 Now: Yes. Very much yes. Mass Effect 2 was one of those rare games which I actually grew more fond of as I digested in the week after completing it. I hope other developers have paid attention to ME2.

    Of course, top of my list is the end of my thesis writing. Skiving off reading RPS isn’t helping that goal.

  31. Ian says:

    Happy Birthday Mr Meer.

    You forgot to mention “Every game getting Ubisoft DRM”?

  32. Stense says:

    Well happy birthday Mr Meer.

  33. mcwizardry says:

    Happy birthday Mr. Meer, a good list indeed. Does the rest of RPS want to share their lists?

  34. Muscle Horse says:

    There was an update for Steam recently that said it fixed the offline mode – it worked here when I was LANing L4D2 with a friend on the same copy.

    I would also like to chime in with the requests for DK3!

  35. diebroken says:

    Deus Ex recreated in the (last known version of the) Dark Engine.

  36. SanguineAngel says:

    Happy Birthday Alec, hope you get everything you wish for! (I REALLY hope you – and the rest of us – get everything on your list)

    I would kill for your vision of TES V – with an added bonus of a well written and constructed storyline…. ahhhh a man can dream.

    Aaaanyway. HAPPY BIRTHDAY

  37. jon_hill987 says:

    My list?

    1: No more originally PC games going cross platform. It tends to dumb them down.
    2:Never to have to use the dumbed down multi player method that is matchmaking again. Dedicated servers (with browser showing ping) or single player only thanks.
    3: A proper (non dumbed down) sequel to Deus Ex
    4: Never to hear the words “cover system” in a game press release again, they are dumbed down.
    5: Never to have to describe a game as dumbed down again.

  38. Owen says:

    Happy Birthday Mr Meer. Also, I am from the future and can confirm all your wishes will indeed come true.

    (although I’m not able to tell you how far from the future I’m from, sorry, it’s one of the rules)

  39. TheApologist says:

    Half-life 2 ep 3 as others have said, but also more GLADOS. Portal 2 please!

  40. Machina says:

    Happy birthday Alec!

  41. Malleus says:

    This list is worthless without wishing for a proper Rainbow Six / Ghost Recon / Splinter Cell game.

  42. ChaosSmurf says:

    What a dumbed-down list.

    (sorry)

  43. Alez says:

    Now they are replacing “dumbed down” with “streamlined”

  44. Scroll says:

    Aren’t Irrational games rumoured to be making a new X-com?

    That’s what I last heard anyway.

    • alseT says:

      I just hope it won’t be dumbed down.

      (sorry)

    • Lu-Tze says:

      http://uk.gamespot.com/news/6238162.html

      This seems the most concise collection of bits of the rumours floating around. Irrational Games definitely current own the IP, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they had thrown around a few prototypes on it, but that’s far from them currently working on producing the title.

      I don’t think a sequel is beyond the realms of possibility, but I think realistically the relationship you are going to see is similar to that of Fallout 3 to it’s predecessors.

    • FunkyBadger says:

      True X-Com is made, nay crafted, by the Gollops. Any fule kno that. Accept no substitute.

    • Corporate Dog says:

      Speaking of Irrational, here’s my birthday wish:

      – A new Freedom Force game.

      I thought they were setting up that franchise, so they’d take a stroll through the various eras of comic books (starting with the Silver Age, and then going back to the Golden Age with the sequel).

      I want to see a tongue-in-cheek take on the Modern Age, complete with crappy Liefeld-inspired cover art, and all the characters going all dark and emo on us.

      Another fun concept I’d love to see: Freedom Force 2099.

    • Urthman says:

      @Corporate Dog: Have you tried the Strangers mod (and the Tales of the Navigator follow-up)?

      http://www.fundamentzero.com/

      Because it:

      (1) Does a lot of that marching-through the eras of comics.
      (2) Is very well written, with a huge cast and world that feels as big as the Marvel or DC universe with tons of homages to various classic superhero tropes and storylines while remaining original and never descending into parody.
      (3) Adds so much new gameplay (and is so big) that it feels more like a true sequel to the first FF game than FFvTheThirdReich.
      (4) Has fantastic level and mission design.
      (5) Has the best final boss of any game I’ve ever played.

      Really the only thing it lacks is voice acting and it doesn’t use the original Freedom Force characters and world, if you’re particularly attached to them. But otherwise, if you liked Freedom Force, I swear on Alan Moore’s Supreme you will love the Strangers.

    • Corporate Dog says:

      @Urthman: I’m getting a distinct Exiles vibe from the Strangers, based on what you wrote, and what the website shows. Am I close?

      Looks like I’ll be reinstalling FF, and giving the Strangers a run. Thanks!

    • Urthman says:

      More than anything it reminds me of Kurt Busiek’s Astro City. The creator of the Strangers takes an encyclopedic love of classic DC and Marvel characters and stories and comes up with homages to the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, the Legion of Superheroes, Kirby’s New Gods, where you can recognize the inspiration but the characters are really his own, and the writing is so good it doesn’t seem derivative. And oh boy is it epic. Epic like the original Infinity Gauntlet or Crisis on Infinite Earths. It succeeds where all those annual crossovers try and fail. (And then there’s the Tales of the Navigator follow-up which is super-epic like the Marvel Earth-X, Universe-X, Paradise-X series was epic.)

      And if you’ve never played with his Freedom Force mods, you will be amazed at how much he’s expanded and extended the game play, and how much more fun it is than the original Freedom Force.

      I found his artwork style a little off-putting, and the character costume designs are not my favorite, but the characters and the powers and the story are really great.

      And the villains! Do you remember when Nimrod was first introduced in the X-men? And he had that genuinely scary terminator-that-can’t-be-stopped vibe? You will feel that chill in your spine. You will say, “Oh crap.”

      Oh, that reminds me, the game can be pretty hard. If you haven’t played Freedom Force for a while, you might want to choose Easy difficulty. Except that you should let yourself die once in a while because you get a hilarious lecture from the characters breaking the fourth wall to complain about what you did wrong and give you hints about how to get it right.

      For anyone who is an older mainstream comic superhero fan (’60s, ’70s, ’80s), I think the Strangers mod might be the best superhero game ever made.

  45. scoopsy says:

    Happy Birthday, and most agreed on dumbing things down.

    In 2010, I hereby propose we start smartening some things up instead.

  46. nine says:

    Happy Birthday, Dr. Meer. Please ensure the three other musketeers post something on their birthdays too.

    I’ve most enjoyed your reviews of GIANT BLOCKBUSTER games that studiously avoid giving into the hype and instead just deliver exactly what I want from a review (that is: enjoyment and purchase advice). Keep it up!

  47. Anthony says:

    I’m Commander Shepard, and this is my favourite birthday wishlist on the internets.

  48. JB says:

    Happy Birthday Alec, hope you’re having a good one!

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