“Gabe Confirms Episode 3 Cancelled”

By Kieron Gillen on March 30th, 2010 at 11:00 am.

This is a lot of photoshopping for a cheap gag.

No, don’t panic. Calm! Calm! That’s how Chris W’s friend informed him via tweet that there won’t be a third episode of the Penny Arcade games. Wot a bast! Anyway, despite Hothead previously saying they’ll do it despite sales of Episode 2 being a third of Episode 1. Hothead plan to concentrate on DeathSpank, but finish the actual narrative on their website. More info on Shacknews and Joystiq, who broke the story. All in all, a bit of a shame.

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132 Comments »

  1. Bobsy says:

    That is a shame, but kind of a foregone conclusion at this point. I did quite enjoy the PA games. Cheerful fun times.

  2. Jasper says:

    Crap, I just soiled myself. Thanks.

  3. Poltergeist says:

    Excuse me while I go have a heart attack.

  4. LionsInnards says:

    DON’T SCARE ME LIKE THAT! The title was just -asking- for heart attacks.

  5. Mike Arthur says:

    That headline almost made me eat my own heart when I saw it in the RSS reader. Be more careful with your potential for epic sadness :(

  6. Ender says:

    We are not amused! :P

  7. effbee says:

    Oh you bastard.

  8. Premium User Badge

    lhzr says:

    wish it was the other way around.

    i had more fun with paa 1&2 than i had with hl ep1&2 :(

  9. grevpt says:

    That one almost killed me.

  10. BooleanBob says:

    Haha, excellent trolling, you bastard. (I nearly died.)

  11. Frankie The Patrician[PF] says:

    Oh yeah…I’d prefer it the other way round as well…I’m simply quite untouched by the development of HL universe after the second one….

  12. Premium User Badge

    lhzr says:

    is there any newer info about deathspank than this? http://www.bluesnews.com/s/108027/no-pc-deathspank

  13. qx says:

    Hey you! Don’t play with me, I got a bad heart. Ok, maybe not, but I do now.

  14. Lilliput King says:

    Not sure I really care about the HL episodes any more. Seems like it’s been so long since Ep2 that I no longer have any emotional investment in the story.

  15. Vitamin Powered says:

    If I had to put up with a near heart attack, the least I could do was share it everyone else.

    - Chris

  16. GT3000 says:

    I want to care but like Lilliput, I’ve lost emotional investment. All I remember is Zombines. I’ll have to replay when Episode 3 comes out.

    • Nickiepoo says:

      ‘Zombines’ made me unload every bullet I had into her stupid face even if it was all completely wasted.

      I played ep2 until she had her little accident then stopped because the game had, for me, reached it’s happy ending.

    • Grunt says:

      Same here. I think Valve lost the plot (literally) after HL1. I’m tired of Alyx, I’m tired of being asked to care about characters who keep getting in the way of a) the story and b) me. I gave up waiting for any kind of resolution long ago, simply because my heart wasn’t in it. Frankly, I don’t think even Valve know where the story is going, and I don’t think they’re telling it particularly well either. I’d be perfectly happy to do without HL2: ep 3 or even HL3 if it meant we might see something new from them.

    • Aftershock says:

      I was *this* close to crying at the end of episode 2.
      I can’t wait.

    • Grunt says:

      I bet you also cried at the end of Titanic. :P

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      AndrewC says:

      I cried at the end of Titanic, because Rose didn’t give in to grief but carried Jack in her heart as she went on to lead a full and beautiful life, treasuring that which matters most instead of the empty trinkets of wealth.

      • obsoletebossk says:

        I cried at the end of titanic because i wasted two hours of my life that i could have spent watching paint dry, or something more fun than that awful movie.

  17. Premium User Badge

    AndrewC says:

    Oooooo, a third of the first game – harsh.

    How’s the RPS game release going?

  18. Anthony Damiani says:

    This is why episodic gaming sucks

  19. MJS says:

    First looked at the headline picture – took that in. penny arcade and half life, this, not this. Okay got that.

    Then read headline itself – Loose all rational thought and have a moment of sheer fright before regaining sense and remembering what I just read a second earlier and then wondering what sort of sad state I’m in to have such a reaction.

    Damn you, though it woke me up from my mid morning lull.

  20. Gassalasca says:

    But….. they were so awesome. :sob:

  21. Dawngreeter says:

    I was going to say that it’s a darn shame. But then I remembered I never played Episode 2. I meant to, I really did. I wonder why I didn’t.

  22. TooNu says:

    Shame this isn’t 2004 with a headline reading “George confirms episode 3 cancelled”

  23. rocketman71 says:

    God, Kieron, you insensitive sod. Guess you’re having a hard-on thinking of all of us freaking out after reading that title, uh? O_O

    About Hothead: no PC confirmation for Deathspank and now this?. Bastards.

  24. Aemony says:

    Holy shit, don’t scare me like that!

  25. Clovis says:

    Wow, you just about gave my grandpa a heart attack. After he explained to me what half-life was I typed this in for him.

    (Note to Valve: Please continue delaying Episode 3; it’s all he has to live for since the 50 state quarters thing wrapped up.)

  26. Farfarer says:

    That was evil, Gillen. Very evil. You evil man.

  27. kyrieee says:

    YOU GOT ME =(

  28. Lars Westergren says:

    Getting back to Penny Arcade, the second one was a great improvement on the first I think. It had great soundtrack, lots of charm in the animations, and a couple of decent adventure puzzle sections (where the first always consisted of – kill everything you see, the last enemy will drop the item you are looking for). It had a couple of laugh-out-loud moment too. The timing of the jokes was starting to get right, it felt like they had started to adapt their writing to the medium rather than just use the same punchlines as in the comic strip.

    The JRPG style turn-based fights turned into even more joyless grinds in the second game though. With the exception of the boss fights, they were way too easy, and didn’t have enough strategic variation – find the attack an enemy was weak against (items, special attacks, or ordinary attack), spam it until fight was over.

    I was looking forward to the third game. Shame it was cancelled.

  29. Vadermath says:

    I was already manically clicking my Steam forum bookmark, when I saw the Penny Arcade pic. That was probably the most evil thing you’ve done lately, Kieron.

  30. Mac says:

    Off topic: Where the fook is HL Ep3 in any case – I thought Episodic episodes were meant to decrease the development time not increase it?

    • Rich says:

      I guess they’ve been tied up playing with the engine to make it look prettier, finishing TF2, making L4D1 and 2 (bah!) and Portal 1 and 2 (yay!). If they’d not bothered with all that, then the HL story arc would probably have finished 4 years ago.

      Personally I like what they’ve done with the engine, though I hope they patch they update the previous episodes to the newest visuals, as they said they would. I couldn’t care less about L4D, and I’m not especially bothered with TF2. Portal was good. It’ll be even better if it ties in to the main HL storyline.

      Oh yes, I nearly forgot, ARGH MY HEART!

  31. devlocke says:

    I found this quite funny.

    Tried to get into PA:Ep1 and can’t bring myself to play it, so I don’t really mind that Ep3 is cancelled. Tried to get into HL, played 1-Ep2, and if it hadn’t been for the basically non-interactive tour of the Citadel in HL2, I would have been extremely mad at the amount of time trying to get into HL took, so I wouldn’t really mind if HL:Ep3 were cancelled.

    I don’t really like Valve games. I love what I know of the people, I like the interviews I’ve read, I like the fun promo-campaigny-things, but the games themselves just aren’t really any fun. With the sort-of exception of Portal, but I think Portal was only fun because I liked the sense of humor/vibe, and the basic mechanic, and that caused me to ignore that what I was doing was just playing another Valve game.

    I suppose that’s not really on-topic, and sort of kill-joyish, but if you guys can complain that you almost died because of the headline, I can note that the headline was more fun for me than the last couple of Valve games I played, can’t I? :)

    • august says:

      Yeah, Portal was just like all those other Valve games. Wait, what?

    • devlocke says:

      @august – it was basically on rails, like all the other Valve (single player) games. The only really substantive differences were that the game fiction justified the limitations of the game world, and there was a neat mechanic. Oh, and it was shorter. Design-philosophy-wise, it’s just another Valve game.

  32. Premium User Badge

    Jarmo says:

    The only person having a fright at the subject line should be Valve’s accountant.

    I’d much rather see Valve expend their energy on something new than yet another Half-Life game. They are very good at creating interesting new things. It’s sad that they are beholden to using up years of their creative lives with treading such familiar ground.

    • Rich says:

      Bugger off! They’re not allowed to give up on the Half-Life series until after episode 3.

      I hold the HL series in the same regard as a damn good series of novels. You can’t just start reading into a major story arc and then have it end. You ever seen Misery???

    • Premium User Badge

      Jarmo says:

      So you expect some kind of resolution to the story will be on offer in Half-Life 2 Episode 3? Interesting.

    • Rich says:

      I image there will be an open ending to a degree, but Valve have already said that Ep3 will be the end of the main HL story; spin-offs like Portal not withstanding.

    • august says:

      No, they’ve said Episode 3 will end the Half-Life 2 story arc, not the Half-Life saga.

  33. Out Reach says:

    Lol gave all my steam friends heart attacks with this link :D

  34. Shadrach says:

    Shame, I never really got into the PA games but always wanted to try them, looked pretty good and fun. Deathspank I’m really looking forward to though.

  35. D says:

    I read it as Gabe confirms Ep 3 NOT cancelled so I was unphased. My brain wins.

  36. Spacewalk says:

    I laughed until I threw up. Then I read the body of text.

  37. Premium User Badge

    Morph says:

    I’ve kind of forgotten about HL Ep3 by now, though I’m sure when it comes along I’ll be squealing in excitement.

    Still, shame about the PA game. The first 2 were pretty ok, vaguely funny. Hard to get too excited about but good enough that I feel bad at there being no more of them.

  38. WTF says:

    …People still care about HL:EP3? How quaint…

  39. Premium User Badge

    Nero says:

    Gaaaaaabe! Oh wait, not that Gabe.. Phew..

    Anyway, I did enjoy Episode 1 but for some reason the tapping “minigames” in combat in Episode 2 was really unresponsive and I many times missed the mark for no reason so I never bothered to finish that one.

  40. Subject 706 says:

    Phew, now I have to patch up my slit wrists…

    Theres just something about HL2 and its episodes which has managed to keep me interested, even though EP3s release date seems to drag on forever.

    It is also the only shooter were I can tolerate not having iron sights and not being able to lean.

  41. Fazer says:

    DAGNABIT! I thought you were talking about HL3 Episode 3! You did it on purpose, didn’t you?

  42. maykael says:

    You came very close to giving 2/3 or more of your readership a heart attack. Phew. To bad for the PA games, they were fun.

  43. enVy says:

    OMFG i bet i could see the light at the end of the tunnel after i’ve read the Title!! There was a voice that sound like Alyx who told me that i should read the whole article before i go to the end of the tunnel.

    Seriously never do that again RPS!!

  44. merc says:

    Oh you sneaky bastard. I nearly died!

    Well played, Kieron.

  45. Premium User Badge

    Hodge says:

    Oh, you play with our feelings like a child with a pretty butterfly. WHICH IS BLEEDING AND IN MUCH PAIN.

  46. TheApplogist says:

    Not cool. Not cool at all…

  47. jokermatt999 says:

    You are bad, bad people for this title. Bad.

  48. LordCraigus says:

    I’m now laughing like I just escaped a nearly fatal accident.

  49. Premium User Badge

    Sagan says:

    The Penny Arcade games are dirt cheap on Steam. Just wanted to announce that to everyone who has always been curious about them.