Oh man, I can’t imagine loving anything more than Star Wars. Spaceships and robots and laser swords and that masked evil dude who sounds like he needs a throat sweet – those cool 80s films are the best thing ever. And I really like chess too: it’s like a 3D videogame, only you don’t need to wear silly glasses! So Star Wars Chess is a dream come true, maybe even the game I’ve been waiting for my whole life. The only way the universe could possibly get any better would be if they made some new Star Wars films. That would be so awesome.
Star Wars Chess is chess with characters from Star Wars. Apart from Han, who only appears as a frozen carbonite block in the background. Maybe they thought everyone would be too confused because he looks like the guy in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade? It’s got Luke, and R2-D2, and my favorite, Chewie! They’re all here! The white side are guys from the Rebel Alliance – R2D2 as pawns, Chewie as knight (let the wookiee win!), C-3P0 as the bishop and Yoda as the rook. Though it should have been Chewie as the wook. Also two Yodas looks wrong, but it’s frickin’ Yoda, so you don’t mess!
Finally Luke is king and Leia is queen. Now that really is pretty weird, because aren’t those guys supposed to be brother and sister? But wouldn’t a king and queen be married? Maybe that’s a bit sick. It’s okay though, cos they don’t get it on or anything, unless there’s a bonus board I haven’t unlocked yet. And Luke’s a Jedi, so he’s too busy being noble and stuff.
Anyway, the black team are The Empire – Darth as queen, Palpatine as king, loads of stormtroopers as pawns and minituarised AT-STs as rooks. Best of all, Boba Fett is the bishop! You remember Boba Fett, the bounter hunter guy with the awesome jetpack? Yeah, he’s back! Tusken Raiders as Knights is a bit off though, because they’re not actually part of the Empire – that’s the only reason I’m not scoring Star Wars Chess 100 out of 100. Hopefully they will fix this serious and insulting error in Star Wars Chess 2.
Basically, it’s chess, so you have to trap the other team’s king to win. You can play against the computer, or another player, or just watch the computer play itself. I like to do that latter, because the animations are so incredible – I don’t want having to think and stuff getting in the way of watching R2-D2 kill Stormtroopers. Yup, it’s all about the killings.
Each character has a special kill move against each other type of character, so there’s loads of replay value in trying to see them all. Even C-3PO can kill other guys – Tusken Raiders hit themselves in the face when their gaffi sticks bounce of his golden hide, and it’s so funny when he confiscates Boba Fett’s gun!
The best one of them all is when Boba Fett kills Chewbacca. They both shoot at each for ages, ducking and diving until they’re both out of ammo. Just when it looks as though Chewie is going to reach over with his massive Wookiee arms and break Fett’s armoured neck, our man Boba takes off his jetpack, points the business end at Chewie and fries him alive! It’s amazing!
Star Wars Chess is worth it for that alone, but all the other killings are pretty amazing too. Though it is a bit creepy the way all the losing character’s friends just stand and impassively watch as their comrades are murdered horribly in front of them. I don’t think they really like each other after all.
In conclusion, you should definitely buy Star Wars Chess if you like Star Wars and you like chess.